The Princess of Charming
by l0v3m3n0t
Summary: "She looked my demons in the eye and smiled. She fell for everything I thought she'd fear."-VàZaki Nada. When Happy brings his adopted daughter into the dangerous life of SAMCRO, Tig feels an instant connection. She doesn't look at him with fear in her eyes and she's just as bad as the Sons. From that day, he knew Talia Rae Lowman was the silver lining in his deranged life.
1. Chapter 1

**First thing I should put out there is that I started watching SOA a few days before New Year's Eve to keep my sanity while I wait for** ** _The Walking Dead_** **to return and I'm on the early episodes of Season 5 now. Binge watching pays off!**

 **I'm keeping the story line mainly the same, but I'll be going off-script from the show just to focus on my OC and Tig. The main priority of the club is getting money for the treasury to pay for everything.**

 **Tara is in Chicago and Wendy is still out of the picture. Opie's about to get out of prison and I'll shed some light on Donna and his kids when he comes into play. Deputy Hale's death is either going to be prolonged or he'll just never make an appearance. I actually like his character.**

 **Half-Sack's death is being debated too because he was a great character and I don't want to let him go. I'm contemplating on adding a Kozik Patch-In scene in here, but and he's gonna be besties with Tig :3**

 **First SOA fic too, so go easy on me  
Warning for lots of cursing and slurs as well as smut and all the usual SOA stuff,  
Enjoy**

* * *

 **X~Clay~X**

There was something picking at me today. From the second I woke up, throughout the day and all through the meeting with the boys, something was buzzing round in my head that today was an important day. It wasn't Gemma's birthday. I'd never forget that and she'd sink her manicured nails into my dick before she tore it off if I did. That ruled out an anniversary too. It wasn't Jax's birthday or any of the boys', today wasn't a holiday of any sort and it wasn't time to pay the bills. There was no town social going on because Gemma would've told me a few days in advance and again, she would've ripped my dick off if I forgot about it. There weren't any deals for me to attend, no trouble in town that needed the help of the Sons, so what in God's name made today so goddamn important?

The carnival was opening up and we were probably going to stop by tomorrow or later in the week to have some fun, but that wasn't anything important. Whatever my mind vaguely remembered made me feel like it had something to do with family, but there wasn't anything going on or needed attention in the family. I was already losing my hands, maybe I was starting to lose my marbles too.

We were at the clubhouse now and my main concern was getting together the rest of the money to pay our supplier and to stock up the treasury. With everything we had, what we could take from the shop and what the boys chipped in, we were still a few grands short and we didn't have a lot of time left to deliver. If we couldn't pay, our guns were going to be sold to the runner-up just like that. We were dirt broke at the moment and unless someone was planning on robbing a bank today, I don't know how we were going to scrape up the rest of this cash. Of course, nobody else was thinking about that because everyone was focused on the party tonight and all the pussy prancing around. The one thing on the boys' mind was getting their dicks wet and _nothing_ was going to fuck up that mindset for them, not even ending a decade long partnership with our gunman because we couldn't pay up.

I was sitting at the bar and Half-Sack put a beer in front of me, giving me a pat on the arm. The boys probably knew I wasn't in the best of moods today and it wasn't just because of our current money situation. It was me being frustrated at myself because I couldn't place why the hell today was so important and it was giving me a goddamn headache. Juice just walked past me and I swear to God he had _pounds_ of pot stuffed in his pockets. I wouldn't put it past him if he did because I've seen him space the fuck out at random times and he'd almost always smell like he rolled around in a bed of weed. Then again, Juice wasn't exactly a normally functioning guy...

Speaking of smells, that fucking stench was still in here and nobody had the slightest clue as to what it was. A possum probably died in the goddamn ceiling.

I popped the cap off my beer, took a swig and turned around to look at our clubhouse. The boys and some friends of the Club were spread out around it, talking about this or that. Chibs and Tig were leaning on a beam and sipping beers. Bobby was sitting on the couch near the pool table and he was strumming his guitar. It sounded like he was singing something, but he was muttering it and his deep singing voice didn't help me to place the words. Happy and Juice were sitting on the pool table and they were smoking as they watched him, either quietly singing along or just listening to what Bobby was singing.

Happy came back to us at the beginning of the week and he was waiting on a call for a hit, said he'd give us some of the money he got. He's told me that another Tacoma member was getting his transfer papers to come back to us and I was waiting on Tig's reaction to see his _best friend_ again. I'd have to make sure Chibs was stocked on medical gear because there were going to be a lot of fights.

Jax was the only one who wasn't in here, but I think he was in his room sleeping or getting his head together. Hell, maybe he was getting a head start on our little party tonight and had some Crow Eater in there with her lips wrapped around his dick. There were a few sweetbutts who were around all day with the other hang-arounds and everyone knows how much of a Ladies Man the charming Jackson Teller is, so it wouldn't take anything for him to get a woman. Jax has been trying his damnedest to push his beloved high school sweetheart out of his head. Tara skipped town a few years ago and Jax still hasn't been in his right mind since she left. Gemma says she'd better not see the bitch again because there was going to be Hell to pay for breaking her baby boy's heart.

 **"Bobby, c'mere a sec."** I called and he nodded, coming over.

 **"You alright, Clay?"** He asked and Half-Sack came to our end with a beer for him, leaning against the wall as he cleaned a glass. **"You've been a little off today."**

 **"What is today?"**

 **"The 16th, Friday."**

 **"No, no. I mean 'what's today' as in what's happening today? What's going on?"**

 **"Nothin' I can think of, nothin' important anyway. We handled what we could, got the important shit settled, somehow managed to keep the lights on and stock the bar. We can kick back tonight. Why, you made plans or somethin'?"**

 **"Hell if I know."** I took a swig of the bottle and Bobby raised an eyebrow at me. **"I feel like something's scheduled for today."**

 **"Something** ** _is_** **scheduled for today. Tonight** ** _,_** **actually."** Chibs said and came behind the bar with his bottle in his hand, slinging an arm around Half-Sack's shoulders. **"Tonight brothers, we will be hosting a nonstop Pussy Party!"**

The rest of the boys cheered or did some kind of catcall of approval and I shook my head, chuckling. Horny teenagers is what my boys were. Maybe I was just overthinking things and nothing was happening today, I was just being paranoid.

Chibs got my mind of whatever the hell it was that I was trying to remember and Jax joined us after a few minutes. All the boys were at the bar now and they were talking about who was coming tonight or who'd they'd be getting into, but I couldn't ignore that putrid fucking stench any longer.

 **"What the fuck is that smell?!"** I coughed and got up from my stool, sniffing around to find where the hell that disgusting scent was coming from.

The boys were helping me look around and Jax followed me to the pool table because that's where that damn stench was coming from. Jax helped me pick the box up and set it on the table. The boys were coming over as I opened it and flinched back in disgust when I saw the severed fucking deer head sitting inside. The damn thing had flies buzzing around it.

 **"Tig, whatever kind of freaky fetish you got with dead animals-"**

 **"Oh, so some someone finds an animal carcass and everyone points their fingers at me?"** Tig tried to defend himself, but everyone pointed to him and started laughing. **"All of you can gargle my nuts 'cause that's not mine. Besides, if I was going to keep a dead animal, I'd take the other end."**

 **"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that last part and don't care whose it is or why it's here. Get this thing outta here."**

 **"Wait, wait! That's mine!"** Half-Sack came through the group and grabbed the dead deer by the antlers, looking proud of the goddamn carcass. **"Is it okay if I keep it?"**

 **"He wants to fuck the severed deer head and** ** _I'm_** **the freaky one."** Tig muttered and everyone was snickering at him.

 **"Not for** ** _that_** **, keep it for the clubhouse. I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought we could, you know, mount it on one of the walls and give the place more of a manly look."**

 **"It's gotta be stuffed and treated first, you idiot."** Jax said and everyone was laughing again. **"You can't just stick that thing on the wall like that."**

 **"I'll take care of it. Um...treated...treated with what? Treat it like it's sick or-"** I was even laughing when Half-Sack said that and he looked confused, but he had a crooked smile on his face.

 **"You don't even eat meat. What use is that thing to you? Go throw it out."**

Half-Sack looked pretty crestfallen to have to throw away that rotting animal, but he nodded and went to chuck that damn thing in the dumpster. The boys were teasing him about it as he left and when he came back, he started cleaning the spot the box was in to get rid of that deadly smell. I stayed at the pool table and listened to Bobby talk about one of his Elvis impersonation shows. He was giving me some info on another show he could do and he seemed pretty excited about it.

 **"How'd you get that name anyway, Half-Sack?"** I heard a hang-around ask and I shook my head. _This_ fucking story.

 **"I got my left nut blown off by an aper frag in Iraq."** Of course, Prospect had no shame in coming to the middle of the room and pulling his pants down. He covered his dick and let everyone see his bare ass as well as the only ballsack he had left. **"Look at that guy."**

I'll be damned if all his pride wasn't in that single nut and everyone was so used to this that they were either laughing or shaking their heads, but _nobody_ was shocked. Far from it really.

 **"Talk about a welcome home present."** A woman's voice stopped everyone's laughter and all eyes were glued to the door.

Everyone knew that voice and it caught our attention because it wasn't some loudmouth sweetbutt talking her mouth off when she wasn't supposed to. That voice had everyone's attention because other than Half-Sack, who still had his pants around his ankles, _everyone_ knew who that was. Her mugshot was up on the wall, her track record consisting mainly of multiple accounts of arson and assault, with the rest of ours and she had a room in the back that's been locked since the day she left. Seeing her though, it was a heart stopping sight.

She was about 5'5 1/2, the half-inch coming from her boots, and ranged from 120 to 130 pounds. She was between Jax and Juic's age, but Juice probably had a couple years on her. Thigh high jean shorts covered her slender, tattoo speckled legs that went into black knee high combat boots, a black tank hugged her torso, showing the eight-point star on her right shoulder to accompany the other tattoos she had decorating her arms, and her eyes were hidden behind a pair of black aviators. Her warm beige skin was complimented by her shoulder length lavender hair that fell between her shoulder blades. Over her left shoulder was the black leather strap of her denim canvas backpack and there was a grey suitcase with a black heart posted next to her. Her peach lips had a slight gloss to them, but were pulled up in a smirk.

I finally realized what the hell today was. That woman, that hell-spawn of a woman, was the reason today was so goddamn important. She came back home.

 **"I know I look good and everything, but damn. Pick your jaws up off the floor."** She giggled and everyone got to see that million dollar smile which did nothing to snap us out of our trances. **"This is how you greet family? For the love of Christ, can I get some love, boys?"**

Juice and Jax were the firsts to trample each other to get to her with open arms, but she put her hand in their faces and pushed them away, making her way over to me. They should've known that was going to happen. Her smile got bigger as she got closer and I scooped her up in a tight hug, giving her a little spin. I heard her sweet laughter in my ear and it made me laugh too.

 **"Talia."** I chuckled in her ear. **"Welcome home, baby girl."**

 **"It's good to be back."** I set her down and she was still smiling like she was just crowned Miss USA.

I took her glasses off and those beautiful sea-green eyes were shining like gems, just like I remembered. She didn't have her face caked up in makeup either, just a bit of eyeliner and mascara. She didn't need makeup because her natural beauty was more than enough to make a grown man fall to his knees.

 **"It's been too damn long, girl. Let me look at you."** I took her hand and gave her a spin, whistling with the others at her beautiful body. She definitely wasn't a kid anymore. I wrapped her arm around her waist and she was leaning on my chest, still smiling at everyone. **"You're stayin' for good, right?"**

 **"Damn right."**

 **"How long have you been here?"**

 **"Couple hours. I went to see Mom and Luann, said hi to some old faces around town. Speaking of me being here,"** She snatched her arm from my grasp and turned to me, poking a finger in my chest. **"I told you when I was coming back and I don't get a goddamn welcome wagon, an escort, nothing!"**

She poked me every few times as she continued chewing me out about not picking her up and she had the right to. She sent me a letter a while ago saying when she'd be back and if I could've remembered what the hell I was supposed to do today, I would've had a nice welcoming party waiting to bring her home. She was always a feisty little firecracker and that dark eyebrow was loaded for me. All I could to was put my hands up in surrender and hoped she'd have mercy on me because this girl's mouth was horrible.

When Talia heard the snickers of the others she turned to them, her balled fists on her hips.

 **"Don't think any of y'all all off the damn hook either! I should break my boot off in all your asses! After everything I've done for this goddamn club, I can't even get a ride home. Know what? I'm taking my pretty ass back to Russia!** ** _Idi na fig!_** _(Kiss my ass)_ **I'm out!"**

She took her glasses from me and put them on, flipping everyone the bird as she started walking to the front door. The boys were complaining about her leaving and telling her to come back, but she was already at the door and she slammed it closed. Tig jogged after her and after a minute, I heard her laughter get louder as he brought her back. He kicked the door open and had Talia over his shoulder like a prize.

 **"Runnin' away from me without giving me a hug** ** _and_** **you're cursing? I should put you over my knee and tan your ass, girl."**

 **"Won't be much of a punishment."** Talia giggled. Tig smiled and gave her a pat on the ass before he set her down.

Talia gave him a long hug and went to do her rounds to the others, giving Bobby a long one like she did with me. I looked around and noticed Happy leaning on a beam a few feet from me, silently watching her with a smirk on his face. I whistled and caught Talia's attention just as she stopped smothering Juice with kisses Juice. I nodded to Happy and she looked like she couldn't believe he was there. I had to wonder how long it's been since they last saw each other.

I saw the content tears fill Talia's eyes as she slowly walked over to him and he started to meet her. When they stood in front of each other, they just started at each other for a minute before Happy had her wrapped up in his arms in a tight embrace. Talia's head was buried in his chest and she was saying something that was muffled by his shirt, but he could hear her and he was smiling, kissing her hair every few seconds. He whispered something back into her ear that either made her cry in happiness or laugh, maybe both.

Happy pulled back and wiped the cheerful tears from her cheeks. He gave her another kiss on the head and turned her around, his arm around her shoulders. Our girl was back where she belonged, with her family. Talia noticed Half-Sack still standing there slightly bent over with his pants down and his hand covering his dick. She glanced up at Happy and he shrugged at her. She walked to Half-Sack and he was gazing at her like she just stepped out of his wildest dreams.

 **"Any reason why your pants are down, sweetheart?"**

 **"There was a- I was showing- I only got- Someone asked me to...I only got one nut."**

 **"Took you long enough."** Jax muttered and the boys chuckled.

 **"Can I see it?"** Talia asked, her nose scrunching in curiosity. Half-Sack moved his hand a bit to let her see it and she cocked her head to the side, looking very interested. **"That looks like it was blown off. You were messing with cherry bombs or somethin'?"**

 **"Frag grenade in Iraq."** That just sparked more interest and Talia smiled at him.

 **"And um, how good are you with using what you've got left?"** She asked in a soft, sultry voice and put 2 fingers under Half-Sack's chin, making him stand up with his pants clutched in his hand. **"'Cause I'd** ** _love_** **to show you my gratitude for your time in service."**

 **"Give the kid a break before he busts his last nut, Tal."** Bobby laughed and Talia smiled at him.

 **"I can't help it. He's so cute!"** She chirped and pinched his cheek.

Half-Sack was probably close to creaming himself from how he was staring at her. Talia had that effect on men, a few words and a touch were all it took to get them under her spell. Half-Sack was in deep, _real_ deep, but he smiled at her while he was trying to pull his pants up.

 **"Talia, baby, princess. You look** ** _beautiful,_** **the Devil's most perfect creation."** Jax started and took her hand, kissing it. She shot me a glance and I laughed. **"Do you know how much I missed you? The days just weren't the same without you here."**

 **"What do you want, Teller?"**

 **"We're having a Pussy Party tonight and you're gonna hook us up, right?"**

 **"Tell your Cara Cara girls to come over."**

 **"We need variety, sis."**

 **"None of you had the decency to pick me up, so why should I bring some sexy, all natural and incredibly horny girls here for you to play with?"**

 **"Because the party's for you, darlin'. What better way to welcome you back home?"**

 **"Whatever, Jax."** She took her hand out of his grasp and took a seat at the bar. Jax followed behind her and was still trying to convince her to bring some more ass tonight.

Before she came back, Talia had a brothel/escort service up in West Park with some of the most _naturally_ gorgeous girls in all of Charming, maybe in all of California. The man running it before her return was deemed trustworthy by Chibs, said he was a friend of a friend Talia's Russian trainer. The Kitten's Den was a pretty popular place and as the name states, Talia's girls are the Kittens. Those girls really start purring when their clients come around and they're especially euphoric with us, free of charge too. Jax though, the girls _loved_ he and Bobby. Those cats had the experience of porn-stars too, they could do it _all_. Her girls were a bit pricey due to their experience, but they were _well_ worth it. Actually, Talia said did business with Luann and sold some girls to her porn company and they were officially porn-stars now.

Talia's place was really discreet and they were under our protection in case any shit went down, had a little panic button to push if they needed us. The Kittens were damn good at spying too, eavesdropping or getting information from their clients. Those girls had info on every customer who came in there or who they went to see, meaning they had dirt on everyone in town as well as every single cop in the station, so they weren't going to give her any trouble. Her place has never gotten 1 complaint and there were no problems.

With Talia being back home, I had to wonder what shit was going to turn up once word got out that the princess of Charming has come back to her kingdom. She always found jobs for us to do and she was a perfect thief. Our girl was a little outlaw Bounty Hunter, kidnapping, delivering or sniping whomever she needed too for a nice profit.

Maybe she could get us the rest of the cash we needed...


	2. Chapter 2

**This one's a filler chapter. It's to give some background info on Talia and there's some bonding moments I wanted to get in here.** **We're going to stay in flashbacks for about 2 chapters.** **I'll put something at the top or bottom of the chapter when we get back to the present, so sit back and enjoy Talia's walk down memory lane.**

 **Thanks for all the love too.**

* * *

 **X~Talia~X**

I've been affiliated with the Sons of Anarchy since I was a kid.

My Mom was some random townswoman who met my Dad in the diner she worked at, love at first sight, blah blah blah. My father wasn't a Club member or even an associate, but he knew Clay and I guess they were on good terms. They were far from friends though. My father was a junkie and he made Cocaine in our basement. Of course, he _never_ sold in Charming because the MC would dismember him. He sold his dope to the junkies inhabiting the small towns around us. That's actually the reason he knew the SOA President, he wanted protection because he had a feeling he was going to piss some people off or that they were going to come for him sooner or later and he was right.

Dad fucked up when he started snorting what he was supposed to be supplying for his clients in Firebaugh and one of them was a gang, but they weren't as bad as the Sons nor were they bikers. They were the main outlaw coterie of the town and they were expecting a pretty big shipment from Dad, but he didn't have jack shit because he used it all. They threatened him, beat his ass a few times, scared Mom at work and that was about it. They were being 'generous' enough to give Dad some time to give them something or else they'd take **drastic** measures.

Dad knew they were going to come for him until he was either dead or he gave them every gram he owed them and he did the stupidest thing ever. He tried to run from them. I said goodbye to Charming, California when I was 7 years old and we didn't look back. We moved to Oregon and Dad set up his lab again because he obviously didn't learn his lesson from last time. For a year, things were fine and that gang didn't seem to notice or care that my father was missing. A few months after my 8th birthday, everything turned to shit again. They found us and snatched my Mom from work. They came to pick me up from school and I saw my trembling, bruised and bleeding Mother trying not to cry in the backseat.

When we finally stopped, the Leader covered my eyes and picked me up to carry me inside somewhere. I could hear his men dragging Mom along and the sound separated from us. When I got to see again, I was in a living room and the man asked me what I did in school today. I told him too and he kept asking me about all the things I liked. We even had a little tea party. Not once did I ever think to ask where my Mother was or be afraid of this stranger because he was being so nice to me. In my young mind, I didn't realize that he was grooming me to be comfortable around him.

We were building a castle out of colorful blocks when I heard him call my Father and tell him that he had us. He was very calm about it too, didn't raise his voice not once. He gave Dad one last chance, a final warning to get things right. Then, we waited.

I think it was nighttime when he put his hand over my eyes again and we went into a new room. This one was a basement of some sort and my Father was down here, clutching my Mother's lifeless body as he lost his mind.

When he saw me, I think he got some hope, but that all went out the window when the Leader's men took my Mother's corpse from him and got him on his knees. I was confused about what was happening, but it instantly turned to sheer panic when the Leader started ripping my clothes off. I never screamed or fought so hard a day in my life. The Leader said something horrible would happen if my Dad tried to run away and something ghastly did happen, _to me_. I had to pay for what my Father did and he had to watch his only little girl get mutilated. I screamed for my Dad to help me and his violent thrashing to try to save me were futile. Once the Leader was _finally_ finished, I watched my Father get beaten to death and I thought I'd be next, thought they'd kill me. I was so wrong.

8 years old and I saw my Mother's dead body.  
8 years old and watched my Dad die.  
8 years old and I was continuously **_raped._**

I stopped believing in God then because there was no way in Hell an almighty deity would let a _child_ endure this kind of pain and constant suffering. All children were saints, so how could a God exist and allow something like this to happen? A guardian angel came though, my liberator. I remembered hearing gunshots and _a lot_ of fear drenched screaming. When the attacker finally got into the basement and saw me, I mustered all the strength I had to ask him to kill me, just put me out of my misery. The man just stood over me and watched me beg, his eyes cold as ice. His shirt was bloody and so were his hands, arms and face.

Next thing I knew, I saw the blue sky for the first time in months and I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin.

My guardian angel took me to his house and got me a doctor to patch me up while I was stationed in shock. My angel though, he didn't leave my side and he was there for weeks taking care of me. Of course, when I was able to move about, I was crying in a corner and I didn't want this strange man to come anywhere near me. I didn't trust any man because they were savage monsters and I wanted every one of them wiped off the face of the Earth.

 _His tanned skin matched his dark chocolate eyes and he looked menacing. He had a shaved head and a bunch of detailed tattoos on his arms or chest. Still, he looked powerful and intimidating which made me terrified of him, but he didn't back off. I was crying and his eyes softened, but he didn't leave. Some part of me was grateful he didn't go because I wanted comfort from someone, but not a malign looking man like him._

 _ **"You can't keep being scared."**_ _He finally said something and his deep, raspy voice_ did not _help me to relax in the slightest bit because I flinched, starting to tremble._ _ **"You've been here 4 months and I haven't done anything to you. You aren't anything to me. I could've easily killed you whenever I wanted, snapped your neck like a goddamn toothpick or smothered you in your sleep, but I didn't. I could've killed you back there, a bullet to the head just like you were asking. You still want that? 'Cause I can make it happen."**_

 _The man's eyebrows fixed into a firm straight line when I started bawling again and he closed his eyes, sighing. He was going to kill me, I knew he was and even after all the pain I went though, I didn't want to die. Not now, not like this when I wasn't in any physical pain anymore, not when I was some kind of okay. We were silent for a few minutes and he still had his eyes closed, but he opened them when I stopped blubbering._

 _ **"Alright, that might've been a little harsh, but it's the truth and you need to get used to it. The world is a cruel place and it'll eat you alive. Cowards don't survive in life and they turn into rats. Rats get preyed on and killed, so you need to toughen up. What's your name, kid?"**_

 _ **"...T-Talia."**_

 _ **"That's a pretty name."**_ _He said it like it was a simple conversation starter and I was supposed to reply, but I just stared back at him._ _ **"I'm Happy."**_

 _ **"...you don't look very happy."**_ _I sniffled, confused now because this man was all kinds of strange._ _ **"...what are you happy about?"**_

 _And the man's expression changed so quick. I thought he was going to come over here and snap my neck as easily as he said he could, but his smirk turned into a chuckle and he started laughing. It was a heart-felt laugh too and it made me smile a bit. I liked his laugh, it was rich and loving. It made him look truly beatific too. He was still grinning when his eyes settled on me again and I liked what I saw in them now, an unmasked gentleness._

 _ **"My**_ **name** _**is Happy."**_

 _ **"Why?"**_

 _ **"How the hell should I know? I didn't get to pick my name. Why is your name Talia?"**_

 _ **"My Mama said it means 'gentle dew from Heaven' and that's what I was when I was born."**_

 _ **"She's dead now."**_ _He said in that stern voice from earlier and I hung my head, hot tears filling my eyes._ _ **"Your Dad's dead too."**_

 _ **"...I don't wanna be alone..."**_ _I didn't notice when he moved, but he tilted my head up to took at him and wiped away some tears with his thumb._

 _ **"Stick with me, kid. I got you."**_

From that day, Happy and I got closer and closer.

He taught me how to be strong, how to be heartless. He taught me how to be patient, observant, how to fight and how to use a gun or knife and damn near anything I could get my hands on as a lethal tool. He taught me how to be sneaky and pickpocket people or steal from stores, open cash registers, how to pick locks on a door or car and hotwire it. He taught me everything there was to surviving and living on the streets, living in the dangerous life that he did. I had nightmares though, traumatized from that horrible experience and Happy would be there to calm me down when I'd wake up screaming in the middle of the night. He'd hold me and tell me he had me, that he wouldn't let anything happen to me. He really took care of me.

Once Happy thought I was well trained enough, he let me come with him on a shoot-to-kill hit and it was _exhilarating_. The guns, the fighting, the adrenaline rush, the money, the blood, the _beautiful_ sound of bones breaking. My God, it was addictive and I never wanted to quit. Happy saw how much I liked the lifestyle he was in and he started taking me out with him more until we were basically partners. He'd often praise me on how I could just end a life like it was nothing because that's how it was to me. With how he brought me up and the crazy shit I've seen him do, the people that needed to be dealt with were just red targets and I was hitting the bulls-eye. It was like a game to me, doing the work of the Grim Reaper.

As the years went by, Happy let me do whatever the hell I wanted. He took me to get inked up and let me drink or smoke. I was kicking back Scotch, Gin, Tequila and Jack like they were shots of water. I had a beautifully designed dream catcher on the left side of my back and my parent's name on the right.

I was going to school, so he must've filled out some paperwork that made him my legal guardian. On my first day of high school, he was giving every boy that walked by a deadly glare and he almost made me stay home because he didn't want me around any of them. When I came home, he took me straight to the hospital to get me on birth control and gave me the infamous 'talk'. Of course, I already knew about it and I walked in on him banging some random girl a few times, so it wasn't anything new. I wasn't going to be having sex anytime soon though, not with a _man_ at least. As high school chugged on, I've had my experience with girls and they were fun to play with.

When I was a teenager, around 17, we left Oregon and Happy took me back to Charming to properly introduce me to the Sons of Anarchy. They were all pretty skeptical about why the hell he had a girl tagging along with him, but Happy cleared that shit up in an instant and the Sons eased up to the fact of having me around when he told them that I was basically a copy of himself...he said I was his daughter.

The boys kinda treated me like a Prospect, but they didn't at the same time. I was the newbie and they wanted me to have tough skin, so they put my ass to work. I learned everything about motorcycles, cars and how to fix them. I got my first job working at Teller-Morrow Automotive by day and I'd be a waitress in the clubhouse by night. I racked up some major tips every night.

One by one, all the boys were tucked in my pocket and I loved them. Gemma would come by the shop and we got to know each other. She invited me to family dinners and extended that invitation if I wanted to stay at her house when Happy was away. She said she liked me and I liked her too. I had one amazing family now.

I wanted to do more for the Club though and that's when I started stealing for them. I was usually paired with Juice for that and he got me into a lot of hospitals to steal the drugs from. He usually got some for himself and we always went on little raids together. I remember coming into the garage one night and all the boys were surrounding something that was on fire. When I finally got to see what was going on, I was staring at the blazing back of a man and Tig was still burning him with a blowtorch.

As the official Sergeant-At-Arms for the Club, he took care of the dirty work and Happy did too, but he was nomadic and wasn't available to the Club 24/7. Tig took me under his wing after that night, let me come with him when he was assigned to kill someone off and we'd bond over burning bodies like it was normal. He said he admired how I wasn't afraid of him and he said he felt normal around me because I was one severely disturbed individual, just like Happy. That was funny because I felt the same about him.

There was something about that man that just made me weak in the knees and I knew I shouldn't, but I was crushing on him like a lovesick puppy. It was those damn eyes of his. They could be flooding waves of egregious danger or they could be gleaming with softness and captivating. His orbs were a beautiful mess of chaos and serenity that made me go insane. My mind would shatter under his gaze and I was addicted to the feeling. Those eyes gave me faith that all men weren't the same and that I could possibly be with one.

As time passed, I got closer to the Sons and I got the loving family I've always wanted. One or all of them would always come over mine and Happy's house because I'd usually be there alone. If they stayed the night, they'd give me a ride to school and I could call any one of them if I needed a ride home. That person was usually Chibby.

Chibs has always been a cool dude in my eyes and I never saw his scars as disfigurements, I saw them almost like tattoos. They showed that he was one tough son of a bitch and he was not one to be fucked with, that he was dangerous. That just made me want to be around him more and he didn't seem to mind me sticking to him like glue. I adored the way he talked too and he laughed when I told him that.

Chibs and I really started getting close when I found out about the fight nights the club sometimes hosted. I took a deep interest in it and asked if I could be part of that. He started training me in dirty techniques and I got professional lessons in kickboxing down at Lumpy's. It was too much fun getting in that ring and I started going up against men because there weren't that many female fighters. There were a few draws, but I _never_ lost any of my matches and once the guys saw how good I was, they started putting their money on me. I was their cash cow and that just made them like me more. They gave me the ring name 'Jinx' because I brought some real bad luck to whoever got into a fistfight with me.

Tig though, he'd always be the loudest voice I could hear cheering me on and he'd patch up what little bruises I got after each match. We'd usually go to get ice cream or pizza and he'd tell me how proud he was of me, that I was his little devil of an angel.

I craved that, hearing him say I was _his._


	3. Chapter 3

**So the last chapter was a bit of an explanation as to why Talia's so crazy. Traumatic experience + Being raised by an insane hitman/torture master = mentally disturbed kid.**

 **I'm sorry if this seems like the boring bits, but I just wanted to show you guys the origin of Tig and Talia. It gets so much better, promise. I've got a treat for you lovely people in the next chapter. I'll try my hardest not to disappoint.**

 **Keep leaving those amazing reviews and dropping those Favorites/Follows. They mean a lot.**

* * *

 **X~Talia~X**

It was Friday and I was still in school, but it was time to go home and I wanted to leave.

I was sitting in Principal Gavin's office with the hood of my black hoodie pulled over my eyes and chewing a piece of gum. I was sunk into the chair and had my eyes closed, waiting. Next to me was a messy haired, damp Valeria Taylor and her parents were standing behind her, scowling at me. Valeria was a brown-eyed brat and we _did not_ get along in the slightest bit. She was one of the 'popular kids' that all the boys wanted to fuck and all the girls wanted to be. She was a goddamn whore too, taking-3-dicks-at-once kind of whore.

I wasn't the most amiable person in school and I didn't have a sea of friends like most 'normal' teenagers do. I had a select few people who I tolerated enough to socialize with when I came here. Those select people were Josh, Ethan and Dylan. One Summer, Dylan saw me playing guitar in the music room and heard me singing, asked if I wanted to join the band he was in. Eventually, I accepted and we sometimes practice in the audorotium after school and we've played a few talent shows or Charming town socials. Once Bobby saw us perform, he got me a Fiesta Red Mustang just like the one Kurt Cobain had.

I've never had real friends like those boys. They didn't just see me as the girl who decided to be their singer and they didn't keep things strictly business between us. We sat at lunch together every day, they were always calling me and asking if I wanted to hang out, one or all of them would walk home with me from school and I'd be driving us there most mornings because getting on the bus with the rest of those assholes was just asking for trouble. We'd sometimes have band practice at my house in the garage and Happy never complained about it, but I knew he wasn't a big fan of how much noise we made. Still, he supported and encouraged me to keep singing with them.

With Ethan and I being the oldest in our little group, I was closer to him than Josh and Dylan, but I loved those dopes all the same. Still, my drummer got arrested with me once and that just made me like him even more. He's been trying to teach me how to work that strange contraption called a skateboard, but it wasn't my forte like it was his. I didn't have any intentions of going, but Gemma was going to drown Charming in an ocean of her tears if I didn't go to Prom and when I told Ethan about it, he said he'd be my date. Josh and Dylan were always teasing about us getting together, but I didn't see Ethan like that and he's told me that he wanted to keep things friendly.

Back to why I was in the Principal's office.

Valeria started picking with me when her locker had to get changed to the one next to mine. I didn't care for her presence, but I learned her daily routine. She'd come to her locker with one of the boys on a sports team, primp herself in the mirror she had on the door of her locker and make him carry her books to her classes. Just like I did, she came to get her lunch from her locker before we went into the cafeteria and that's when she started noticing me. When I didn't respond to her trying to be my 'friend' or her stepping stool, she tried intimidating me with gossip. That didn't work and today in gym, the bitch hit me in the back with a volleyball and my right shoulder blade was sore for a few minutes. I spiked the ball at her head and everyone laughed at her. After the class showered, she tried to pick a fight with me in the girl's bathroom and here we are.

I've gotten into my fair share of fights with kids from school and the students never snitched, but Valeria must've cried to her Mommy when she saw how badly I fucked up that pretty little face of hers. Her right eye was blackish-red and almost swollen shut, her cheek had a cut on it that was almost the length of her cheekbone. Her bottom lip was split and she had a faint ring around her neck from when I damn near strangled her to death.

Principal Gavin said that he had to inform my parents or legal guardians about this and that's who we were waiting on now. I tried to tell him that he _really_ doesn't want Happy coming up here for this bullshit and that he was going to be ticked off about it, but he still called. He made it seem like something _critical_ happened too and that wasn't going to make anything better. Happy's been home for a month or so and he was due to set off again today, but he has to come down here to deal with this. This was going to mess up his schedule and it really wasn't going to improve his temper.

I opened my eyes when I heard their motorcycles roaring down the street and I crossed my arms over my chest, smirking at Principal Gavin. There was no turning back now.

I could hear all their voices echoing off the hallway walls as they made their way to the office and the school secretary opened the door. She was obviously startled and she flinched when my family piled in, a very livid Happy with balled fists at the front.

Clay, Bobby, Tig, Jax and Chibs all came to my side of the room, giving me fist bumps when they passed. I briefly wondered where Juice was, but didn't think too much of it. The Sons took one look at the girl sitting next to me and started with the teasing, giving me props on a job well done. Jax nudged me and his eyes were on Valeria, silently asking me if he could pounce. I nodded and a devious smirk spawned on his lips.

I thought Happy sat in the chair next to me, but it was Clay and he put his arm around the back of my chair. Happy stood in front Principal Gavin's desk with his arms tightly folded over his chest and was standing stiff with irritation. I didn't get a chance to see for sure, but I think he was gnawing on a toothpick in an attempt to keep himself levled.

 **"I asked that only the parents or legal guardians attend this meeting."** Principal Gavin griped and I shook my head.

He was eyeing the boys and that was a sign of disrespect, but he either didn't see their leather or he thought he was superior because we were in his office. He was always like that though, talking his mouth off like he owned the whole world. Either way, he was challenging the entire MC and that was a very bad move.

 **"You got what you asked for."** I said and pointed to Happy. **"This my parent and as you can see, he's extremely pissed off, so you should make this quick."**

 **"There's no need for these spectators then."** Principal Gavin remarked, sending a particularly foul glance in Bobby's direction. I glanced at the stout man and he was too busy bluntly drooling over Valeria's Mom that he didn't see the gesture.

 **"These fine gentlemen are my legal guardians, just like you asked for."** I quipped back, narrowing my eyes in annoyance at this prick. I hated _Harris_ and his conceited attitude. He was a principal, not the goddamn President.

Granted, there was no official paperwork saying I was under anyone's custody other than Happy's, but the boys were my family and one of them would look after me if something happened to him. Gemma would probably take over though. She was the only one who'd know what the hell to do with me.

 **"I told you I had a big family and I warned you not to call them."** I continued, glancing around the room with a smirk. **"This isn't even the whole lot."**

 **"Thank Christ Gemma's not here."** Clay muttered and the boys laughed.

 **"You told me something was wrong."** Happy growled and the man behind the desk stiffened.

 **"S-Something is wrong, Mr. Lowman."** Principal Gavin choked out, clearing his throat. **"Talia seems to have a serious problem with another student that resulted in an aggressive altercation today."**

 **"You called me down here because my daughter got into a fucking fight with some gash?"** Happy spat and the Principal started sputtering.

Every time he called me his daughter, something made of pure contentment exploded inside me and Happy turned around to wink at me before putting his mad dog face back on the Principal. Valeria's parents looked too scared to even defend their daughter and the boys were staring them down anyway. Bobby wasn't even giving Valeria's Mom the flirty eyes anymore.

Of course, Jax was the only one looking at Valeria like she was a piece of meat and he'd pucker his lips whenever she looked at him, making her hang her head. She was legal and he'd turn her into a devoted sweetbutt in 20 minutes if he got the chance because all the guys liked young girls. I had to wonder why she was being so modest now. I heard a passing rumor about her giving one of our sports team a celebratory _gift_ after winning a big game, so why she was being so coy around bikers was strange.

 **"M-Mr. Lowman, this was a very critical dispute."** Principal Gavin tried to reason, his voice already light and passive. **"Your daughter seems to have a hard time controlling herself and that results in episodes of explosive anger and violence."**

 **"Our sweet little Talia, angry, _violent_? Oh, no, no, no."** Clay tutted in mock innocence with a deep country twang and the boys were snickering. **"She's as docile as a sleeping lamb. I don't know where she could've gotten _any_ hostile nature from. We're a _very_ peaceful family, no violence _at all_. We praise our Lord and savior, Jesus H. Christ, every single day and not one Sunday service is missed. We recite scriptures from the Holy Bible by the hour. Speaking of, it's just about time for another verse. Jax?"**

 **"This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, 'I have done no wickedness.' Proverbs 30:20."** Jax poetically recited from the window, his hungry eyes still on Valeria, and he slowly ran his tongue over his top lip when she peeked at him.

 **"But I say unto you that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matthew 5:28."** Chibs added with a laugh and Jax flipped him off, smiling.

 **"I will bring onto you sudden terror, wasting diseases and fever that will destroy your sight and sap your strength. Leviticus 26:16."** Tig declared and he was venomously staring at Valeria's Dad now, making the man tremble under his gaze.

 **"Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool. Proverbs 10:18"** Bobby recited from his spot against the wall near Jax, tutting at Valeria as he shook his head.

 **"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. Mattew 5:44."** Clay sermonized, still with that southern drawl accompanied by counterfeit virtuousness, and his hands together like he was praying.

I felt his hand on my head like he was about to cleanse me or perform an exorcism and I tilted by head back, welcoming whatever was to come before breaking out in laughter. Everyone was riled up beyond control now, making me laugh harder at my silly family as they were hooting like we were at a flamboyant Sunday service. Principal Gavin and the Taylor family were looking at us like we were insane and we were, but they wouldn't understand. They didn't appreciate the value of family like we did.

 **"How exactly does Tal have 'explosive episodes of anger and violence'?"** Chibs asked when everyone settled down. He looked at Valeria's face and shrugged. **"I've seen worse than that. And the kid's still in one piece, ain't even bleedin'."**

 **"She damaged school property when she...smashed Ms. Taylor's head into a bathroom mirror and she almost drowned her in the toilet."** Principal Gavin gravely retold some of the details of our earlier altercation. He handed the pink slip out to Happy, but Dad didn't take it and he set the paper down on his desk.

 **"You call _that_ severe?"** Chibs scoffed and shook his head. Principal Gavin ad the Taylor family looked at him like he just grew 3 heads.

 **"This is a very grievous display of brutality coming from a teenage girl. Ms. Taylor could've gotten a concussion or a fractured skull or-"**

 **"The bitch is alive, isn't she? She's still breathing, ain't she? Talia could've put that little cunt into a fucking coma, but she didn't!"** Happy slammed his fist down on the desk and made Valeria's Mom yelp. Jax crossed the room to go to the door and closed it, leaning on it afterwards. The Taylor family looked really nervous now, especially when Chibs started pacing behind them and Tig behind the Principal's chair like lions plotting their kill. **"Nobody's pressing charges, so why the _fuck_ did you think it was fine and dandy to make me take time out of my fucking itinerary to come down here for this bullshit?!"**

The thing was, Valeria's parents _did_ want to press charges on me for fucking up their slut of a daughter and they were making some pretty ballsy threats too, but they were quieter than church mice at Bible study now.

 **"I-"** Before he could try to explain, Happy roughly gripped the Principal by the collar of his shirt and damn near pulled him over the table, cutting off his sentence before he could even start it. He was sweating like a pig in the heat and I think I started to smell piss in the air. Gross.

 **"Talia is on Honor Roll and she's has one of the highest GPAs in this goddamn school. Have you seen her grades? A's and B's all year round."** Happy growled, pulling the trembling man closer to his face. **"Unless she's bleeding out and terrorist are swarming the school, you'd better not fucking call me again. Got me?"**

 **"U-Understood, Mr. Lowman."** Happy scowled at the Principal before he threw him back into his chair. **"W-We're done here. Ms. Taylor, you're free to go."**

Her parents were already at the door before she stood up and Jax courteously held it open for them to walk out. Valeria was last to shuffle past him and he grabbed her ass when she walked out, making her squeak. Tig clamped his calloused hand down on the Principal's shoulder and squeezed, making him jump.

 **"Don't have her in here again."** He hissed in the Principal's ear. He looked at me and winked, making me blush.

As a rowdy bunch, I left with my boys and Tig was carrying me on his back. I had to bite back the urge to run my fingers through his dark locks, but I basked in feeling his muscular body, his strong arms wrapped around my legs and that scent of his filling my senses. All I could think about was a field of sage and lemongrass.

When we got outside, Juice was sitting on his bike, most likely flirting with a pair of girls I've seen walking through the halls, and they both went wide-eyed when we came over. With the day done, Happy told me he was leaving and gave me a long goodbye hug with a kiss on the head. He told the guys to lookout for me and he was off for who knows how long this time.

The boys had things of their own to do, but Tig said he was free to drive me home and I was happy to be riding with him. Like I always did after he gave me his helmet, I had my head resting on his back and my arms wrapped tightly around his stomach as we drove through town. The smell of the leather of his cut, the nicotine that stuck to it and the exhaust of his motorcycle were a lovely mix, but we were home all too soon. I got off his bike and made my way to the front door of my cottage bungalow house, feeling him behind me as I unlocked the door.

 **"Hap still got that crazy mutt runnin' wild in there?"** He asked and I nodded, remembering the insane Rottsky Happy got to protect the house.

 **"She still hates everyone too."**

Tig leaned on the wall and lit a cigarette while I cracked the front door open. I poked my head inside and saw Rouge standing at the entrance to the kitchen with her head bowed, waiting to see who he'd tear to pieces once they came in.

Rouge was a Rottweiler x Husky mix and she was the most beautiful dog I've ever seen. She had the coat of a red Husky and its cyan left eye while the right one was chocolate from her Rottweiler side. Happy got Rouge for protection purposes and trained her to do so. He said women were naturally family-oriented creatures and that made them the most dangerous beings on this planet when someone tries to hurt what they love. He got her for me too, to have a companion while he was away. The dog was really overprotective though and other than Happy and myself, she did not allow anyone in this house without taking a chunk out of them. Tig loved dogs and he attempted to become friendly with her, but that pup wasn't having it.

 **"Rouge, c'mere sweetheart."** I called and slid inside, hooking my backpack on the coat rack. Her head picked up and her long tail started wagging when she saw me.

I kneeled on the carpeted floor and gave her a few pats, getting a doggy kiss on the cheek. I grabbed her pink collar and led her to the backyard. I filled her outside bowls up with food or water and she was already laying down in her red doghouse that I built with Happy, probably about to take a nap.

I went back to the front door and let Tig in. He was on the phone now and I think he was ordering us pizza. He was still chatting in the living room when I went into my room to get out something comfy to change into and I took a quick shower. I changed into my grey cotton shorts and a black tank top, prepared to sleep through the entire weekend.

I went into the kitchen and Tig was bringing in the pizza box. I got us some sodas from the fridge and he already had a slice of pizza in his mouth, tucking a roll of paper towels under his arm as he followed me into my room. He's been in here before, just like the others, so he made himself comfortable and took off his boots before plopping on my Queen sized bed.

I was at my black dresser and looking into the 40-gallon tank sitting on top of it. There were green plants and pieces of driftwood for my Red Belly Piranhas to be comfortable in. They were hiding too. I hope they were banging because I was waiting to see some tiny killer fish.

Tig was flipping through the channels on my TV while I reached on the shelf mounted next to the dresser for the cage of white mice and opened the latch, taking one out. I was stroking the little fuzz ball with my thumb as I tapped on the left side of the tank to signal that it was lunchtime. Hannibal and Buffy quickly emerged from their hiding spots and to the left side, circling around the feeding zone.

 **"Tiggy, chow time."** I smirked over my shoulder and he was already getting up to come watch, nibbling on the pizza crust.

If there's one thing the Sons liked, it was watching Hannibal and Buffy eat. I picked the mouse up by its tail and dangled it over the opened latch of the tank, quickly dropping it in to avoid having the fish jump. I learned from watching Happy get nipped a few times that these fish did not like to wait when they were ready to eat.

The mouse swam around for a minute, then Hannibal took the first bite and Tig started cheering when the pair started tearing the mouse to shreds. It was always entertaining to watch them eat and when they finished, not wasting any part of the mouse, they went back into hiding.

Tig high-fived me and I crawled in my bed, laying on the spot next to the wall. He laid next to me and had the pizza box on his lap, his legs crossed at the ankles. We laughed as we watched the shows and ate. I loved when it was just us together, just like when we were burning bodies, and I always took the opportunity to get close to him. Right now, my head was on the front of his shoulder and he had his arm around my shoulders. He never seemed to mind the close proximity.

I tried to stay awake just to hear Tig's laughter or listen to his hearbeat, but eyes drooped twice, then I was falling into a peaceful sleep.

Those horrible nightmares from my time at Nightingale or my kidnapping rarely plagued my dreams nowadays, but they definitely wouldn't come this time, not while Tig was here and I was wrapped up in his arms, constantly breathing in his masculine scent. He'd protect me from it all, from anything that tried to hurt me.


	4. Chapter 4

**X~Tig~X**

When Talia started coming around the clubhouse, the boys were ready to cream themselves. She was young and beautiful with a tight body. I've always liked long legs on women, so soft and creamy, and Talia's went on for miles. Jax was the first one to lunge at the opportunity to get his dick wet by the cute piece of pussy that was tagging along with Happy.

Talia though, she didn't give into the infamously winsome Jackson Teller pawing at her and that was truly surprising. She held her own and told him to piss off, almost stabbed him in the hand when he got too touchy. Girl had quite the mouth on her and she was real sneaky too, swift like a little cat. She was a very well-mannered though, called everyone 'sir' and said 'please' or 'thank you'. She was really mature for her age, carried herself like she was a grown woman.

Once Happy said she was his kid, adopted, but still his, that made everyone back off because Happy was one psychotic son of a bitch and he'd cut us into pieces if he knew we were flirting with her. He briefly explained why he had her and the torturous abuse he saved her from. That made us back off too. The kid was probably traumatized from what happened to her and she didn't need greedy men trying their damnedest to get between her legs.

Everyone loved Talia because she was a feisty little thing and she was loyal. Happy told us about the hits they've done together and how well she handled those situations. For a _girl_ her age, she had the balls of a goddamn elephant. That's when Clay allowed her to start coming to Church. She didn't sit at the table in the Chapel with us, but she'd be in the room to listen and she helped with whatever needed. Unless she needed clarification on something, she never asked any questions about what she was assigned. One order, one name and she got it done with the moxie of a ghost. No tracks, trails, fingerprints or witnesses left behind. She really was Happy's little twin.

Clay and Bobby treated Talia like she was their niece, Jax and Juice like their little sister and Chibs like she was his pupil because he was passing down all his medical training. Other than Clay and Juice, they still wanted to bang her. She's always stuck around me the most though. There was nothing innocent about the feeling I got when she would come around and I noticed how she wasn't anywhere near as family-friendly around me like she was to the others.

It was a horrible thing what my intentions were for Talia. I wanted to be in her and to hear how beautifully her moans would sound, to see how she looks when she reaches that delicious peak. I'd _kill_ to taste her, either of her lips because I think they'd both be the sweetest thing. But she was a pretty girl who probably had a little boyfriend that treated her right. He'd better or I'd snap his goddamn neck. She wouldn't want some greasy biker chasing after her and I'm sure she'd be running for the hills if she ever found out that I fantasize about her. I couldn't help it. She was so damn pretty and I wanted her, wanted something I couldn't have.

...

I opened my eyes and the TV was still on, the empty pizza box on the floor leaning against the bed. The softness tickling my chin caught my attention and I glanced down into Talia's midnight blue hair. She was laying more on my chest now and her arms were locked around my torso, her leg draped over mine. My arms were tightly wrapped around her and keeping her close to me.

I sighed as I gently rubbed the silky skin of her arm and savored the feeling of the touch. She always does this, wraps herself around me when I stay with her after school and I always take advantage of it, bask in her pressed against me. Her leg was basically draped over my waist now, her knee on the bottom of my stomach, and my other hand inched down to her exposed skin to run my fingers along it. Smooth like satin sheets. Why did she have to put those damn shorts on? I got a nice view of her ass though and I just wanted to sink my teeth into it.

I blew out a quieter breath of frustration when I felt myself starting to get hard, my hand starting to rub her thigh and tug her on me more. Jesus, she felt good. I was sick for doing this, trying to rub off on her like an oversexed teenager. I thought about calling Chibs to come take my place to keep her company while I went to the clubhouse to bust a nut in the first Crow Eater I laid my eyes on. She'd always look so damn sad to see me leave though and it was becoming harder for me to go. Hell, I'm the one that usually stays with her when Happy's gone.

Talia started to stir and I stopped to see if she was waking up or just getting comfortable, waiting to see if I got caught. Then I felt it, her warm hand was under my shirt feeling around my chest and I started to feel her lips softly kissing my neck. I was stunned in place now. Maybe she thought I was sleeping, but that still meant she's done this before.

 **"Tiggy?"** She softly called, her hand still caressing my chest.

 **"Yeah, sweetheart?"** I heard her quick intake of breath and she looked up at me with those devious angel eyes. She didn't look scared, a tad nervous, but not scared. **"What is it?"**

Her eyelashes were nervously batting as she tried to say something and I was waiting to hear it. Talia's never been a shy girl. She was very outspoken and she didn't have a problem saying what was on her mind to anyone. That was one of the things I liked about her. The girl was confident and didn't give a fuck about pissing someone off because she could hold her own. Seeing her blushing and not being able to keep my eyes, this was a new side of her that I didn't know existed. She ducked her head down and I heard her quiet sigh. I dipped my head down to hers and tilted her chin up with my finger. She met my eyes this time and she was still blushing, her hand resting over my heart.

 **"You gotta tell me, Talia."** Her breathing picked up when I whispered the words against her ear and kissed it, making a trail across her jaw. **"Tell me what you want, darlin'."**

 **"...you."** She barely whispered and I kissed the corner of her mouth, looking into her eyes after. The scarlet was running across her cheeks now, but she kept my eyes. **"I want you..."**

She started to sit up and her hand was gently pushing me back. I laid on my back and she straddled me, still blushing though her bold move. Her hands found mine and she put them on her legs, making me rub them. She led them up to the top of her shorts and dipped them inside the back, letting me get handfuls of that perfect ass of hers. If I wasn't already marked on a first-class trip to Hell when the time came, this would send me there in a golden chariot and Satan would be the charioteer.

With my hands still on her ass, I sat up and kissed her. It wasn't forceful or too rough and it was more of a conformation that she was serious about doing this because the last thing I needed was for her to start screaming about a potential rape charge. Talia didn't respond and I was ready to leave it here, forget this ever happened and back off. But I felt her hands wrap around my neck and she returned the gesture, moving her silken lips with mine. She was serious about this.

I'd have to be especially careful with her because of what happened, but I was prepared to do that. She deserved to be treasured and I was going to do just that. I was going to make her mine and make her forget about what happened. The aching bulge under my jeans wasn't going to let me get out of this now and I sure as hell wasn't about to jerk off when there was a tight, _warm_ body here to give me relief instead.

I nipped Talia's lip and heard her soft gasp, allowing me to slip my tongue into to her balmy mouth. I moved my hands up to her hips and ground her on me, getting some relief from the maddening feeling in my jeans. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and detached from her lips, smirking into her neck when I heard her little wine.

 **"Up."** I gave her a pat on the ass and she stood between my legs, still looking like an eager little pup. **"Take your clothes off for me. Let me see you."**

She started blushing again and she hung her head a bit. I went to reassure her, but she took the bottom of her tank and pulled it up to reveal a very lacy orchid bra. I pulled her closer and planted kisses all over her stomach, pulling back when I felt her tugging at her shorts. Her underwear matched her bra and they even had 2 little bows on the front. I stood up and took her hand to give her a spin to take in her physique. Her body was so pristine and unscathed, just begging to be marked. The handful of ink she had made her look like the wicked little archangel I saw her as, a perfect mix of an angel and a demon. My divine little Nephilim. I held her against me and took her scarlet cheeks in my hands, making her look up at me.

 **"You're beautiful, sweetheart."**

 **"You've got too many clothes on."** I chuckled at her and she smiled at me. I was happy to see that she was loosening up because that was going to make everything so much easier.

She leaned up to kiss me again and I felt her hands on my belt, making me smile when she quickly undid the leather. My pants pooled around my feet and I started to shrug my cut off, pulling away from her. She was watching me though. My shirt was next and I saw her biting her lip as I pulled it off. I winked at her and sat on the bed, grabbing my jeans to fish around the pockets for a rubber. I finally found the foil packet and had it between my teeth to open it when I glanced at Talia.

I had to do a double-take because I didn't notice the leather on her the first time nor did I realize that it was my cut. She was holding it closed over her chest too and she was smiling at me. I'm usually the one wearing my cut when I'm fucking because women go nuts for it, the reason still unknown to me. Talia looked much better in it though and there was a luscious glint in those pretty eyes of hers. The girl had a kinky mind and it made my cock twitch.

 **"C'mere, baby."** I beckoned her to come to me and she did, sitting on my lap. She fit so damn perfectly.

I noticed how small she was compared to me now. She seemed so tiny in front of me like this. I could effortlessly pick her up with one arm, easily pin her down and devour her like I _really_ wanted to, but I was restraining myself because I was going to venerate her first. I didn't want to scare her off either and one wrong move could make her change her mind about this.

I opened my cut and smiled at her bare chest. I kissed her neck and made my way down, nipping at her collarbone to hear her soft moan. Once I got to those pert breasts and got one rosy bud in my mouth, Talia was writhing in my lap. Her fingers started tugging at my hair as she arched into me and I really got to hear those pleased purrs when I slipped my hand in her underwear to tease her wet slit. Sweet mother of God, she was _soaking_ wet and I had to be in Heaven. Her juices like molten gold coating my fingers and I used my free hand to grind her into me because I was ready to blow.

 **"Tig..."** She wined, rocking her hips in an attempt to get my finger inside of her and I smirked into her breasts before gently biting the bud.

I slipped a finger inside of her scorching core and my God, she was tighter than I expected. My thumb was gently rubbing against her clit and she was trying to pull me in deeper, trying to direct me to the spot she wanted me in. I leaned her on my chest to lift her a bit and pushed my boxers down, sliding the condom on my throbbing member before tugging her panties down; she kicked them off. I gently laid Talia down on her back and took my finger out of her to taste her for myself. She was just as delicious as I thought she'd be and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't go down on her right now. Not this time because she was ready and needed me inside her. There's always next time, if there will be a next time. She could just want this to be a one-and-done situation.

I shook the defeatist thoughts out of my mind and settled between Talia's thighs, holding myself up on my forearms on either side of her head. I gazed down at her beautiful face and her cheeks still stained with red, but her eyes were darkened with libido. Her hair was splayed out under her like a veil of the midnight sky and it made her look even more attractive, an angel with darkness as her halo. Her hand came to the nape of my neck and she pulled me down to her, obviously wanting to get on with it, but I took her hand.

 **"Whenever you wanna stop, you tell me. If you change your mind or don't like it, just say so, okay?"**

 **"Okay."**

I kissed her and grabbed my length to position myself at the entrance of her moist slit, feeling her spread her legs wider for me. She broke our kiss with a moaning gasp when I slid into her tight canal and I groaned into her shoulder, trying my hardest not to bite her. I knew I wasn't the guy with the meatiest cock between his legs, but the good Lord blessed me with a pretty thick piece and I've never gotten a complaint about being on the diminutive side. Talia was wrapped around me like a latex glove and the feeling was _addictive._ I just found my favorite place to be and I never wanted to leave it.

 **"I think I just fell in love with you, darlin'."** I chuckled in her ear and steadied myself.

I started off slow and let her get used to me because I knew she had to be adjusting and one wrong stroke could end it for me right about now. The urge to start pounding her into this goddamn mattress was screaming my ear off and I gripped the mahogany headboard in an attempt to keep control, nails scraping into the wood. Her searing cunt was just so damn perfect and I growled in her ear when I felt her nails raking down my back. I brought my head up to look down at her and she had the sexiest face of pleasure twisted on her face, her moans like perfect symphonies in my ears.

 **"You're so beautiful."** I muttered into her lips and snaked an arm under her arching back, pulling her closer to me. She opened her eyes, her green orbs falling from the back of her head. **"So fucking beautiful, baby."**

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. This one was feverish and needy, not like the ones before. She was moaning into my mouth and the soft vibrations went through every inch of my body, tingling me. I detached from her and grabbed the back of her knees. I pulled them over my shoulders and was praising the fact that she was a fighter because she was so flexible.

Once the faster rhythm got in motion with the new angle, I got a perfect view of Talia squirming under me and her nails were digging into my arms in a painfully pleasurable way. I leaned down to capture those soft lips of hers and bit her bottom one to the point of bruising them, swollen and red. I felt the second I reached the hilt of her and I saw something that would forever be burned into my memory. Talia's eyes went wide in shock at the new pleasure and the surprised squeak that slipped from her lips was a sound I'd never tire of hearing. I've heard it a few times before and it let me know that I reached an untouched place so deep inside of a woman that she probably didn't know was possible to reach.

Under those beautiful fucking purrs of hers were the squeaking of the mattress and the sporadic thump of the headboard against the wall. I was close, _so damn close_ , but she had to get there for me to finish and I started to feel her constricting around me. Talia looked like she was in another world of pleasure and she almost looked scared at the superior level of fulfillment she was experiencing. That just made me want to please her more, see how high I could get her before she couldn't take anymore, and she all but screamed bloody murder when I started toying with her clit again. Her legs tightened around my neck and I could feel them starting to shake. I couldn't stop the chuckle when she tried to stop me from rubbing her and I swatted her hands away, pinning both her wrists above her head with one hand. She was right there with me and I put my forehead on hers, my eyes trapping hers in a passion drenched gaze.

 **"You're mine."** I growled into her neck and she cried out when my teeth tugged at her skin, feeling her thumping heartbeat as her labored breathing increased. **"All fucking** ** _mine._** **"**

 **"Alex!"** She shrieked and I lost it, harshly biting down on her neck with a long grunt as I emptied myself deep inside her.

I didn't think it was possible for her to get any tighter around me, but she did and my cock was practically being strangled by her tight walls as if they didn't want to let me go. My God, the feeling was sublime. I was panting against her throat and I could feel my body slightly shaking from the adrenaline leaving it. Worn out, I pulled her legs off my shoulders and slumped against her. I could feel Talia quivering under me and once I calmed down, I slid out of her to sit on the edge of the bed. Sweat coated my body and I took the condom off, tying it at the end before chucking it into the waste bin next to her dresser.

I rotated my shoulders and stretched my back, feeling the pleasant soreness from her scratching me. I had to wonder how angry the red lines looked. I turned back to Talia and her tattooed back was to me, my cut next to her. She was holding herself and her knees were pulled up to her chin. I started to hear something though, a soft shuddering gasp. She was trembling a bit and I realized that she...was crying.

This wasn't like when I'd roll over to find a Crow Eater hunched up and bawling about something I could care less about. After I was done with them, they were dull and boring to me, used and needed to be thrown away like a condom after its fulfilled its purpose. Talia wasn't some caked-up whore who meant nothing to me. We just connected, I _felt_ something with her. I was attached. Jesus Christ, I hurt her and now she wouldn't ever let me touch her again or even _look_ at her. She probably was scared, but she didn't say anything and I just kept going, didn't think about anything. I didn't give her a break or ease up, just went in full force and didn't stop.

 **"Tal..."** I gently called to her in the kindest voice I could muster, but she didn't turn around. **"Look at me, angel...please?"**

Silence was my answer and I cursed under my breath. Carefully, I slid behind her and gently wrapped her in my arms. She let her legs go and I turned her to me. She didn't let me get so much as a glimpse of her face because she buried it in my chest and I could feel her tears on my skin. My arms were tightly wrapped around her in case she'd start fighting me because I didn't want her to leave like this, hurt and confused. Nothing good would come out of that and I didn't want her to hate me. I couldn't live with myself if she did...

 **"I'm sorry, sweetheart."** I muttered into her hair, kissing the side of her face and rubbing her back. She still didn't respond or look at me and that broke my heart. I fucked her up more than she already was and she was probably trying to put the pieces back together. **"I didn't mean to hurt you. I stopped thinking and you were just...you looked so...I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."**

 **"T-thank you."** She whispered and I almost didn't hear it, but she finally looked up at me. Tears were still glossing her eyes and gliding down her cheeks, but she had a genuine smile on her trembling lips.

* * *

 **There's nothing redeemable about this chapter and I accept that, haha. I hope you guys understand what this meant for Talia. This was the moment she dedicated herself to Tig Trager.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**So many reviews on that last chapter! I almost cried. I can't thank you guys enough for the support** **:3**

 **I got a question from a Guest on Talia's age when she and Tig did the romance dance. She was 18 and I apologize for not making the time lapse clear. I know the men of SOA _adore_ young girls, but I think they're all old enough to know not to mess with jailbait.  
**

* * *

 **X~Talia~X**

Being with Tig, with a _man_ , after that shit with that gang was beyond terrifying. I was toughing it out though because I wanted Tig to make me feel how was supposed to when having sex and I knew he would make me feel right though. He did so much more, sent me into a whole new world.

I was watching his every move, drooling over how powerful and concentrated he looked hovering above me. I saw when he started losing it too, when he couldn't be slow and gentle anymore. Suppressed flashbacks of my time in that basement started coming to the surface when he pinned me down and I thought I was going to have a Panic Attack because I was petrified out of my mind. My nightmares wouldn't even be as real as those visions were. It was scary at first, but I heard his voice again and that's all I needed to make everything go away.

After our first time being intimate with one another, Tig told me that it would be best not to tell anyone about what we did because nothing good would come from that. I knew Happy would blow his fucking lid and the fact that I was still a 'kid' in everyone's eyes wouldn't do either of us any good, so my lips were bolted shut. That didn't mean we stopped seeing each other. Tig would stay with me more often and I went to sleep wrapped in his arms almost every night. With him being around so much, Rouge got used to him and became much more friendly. They were basically best friends now.

Tig got me completely comfortable with being naked around him and he told me that I shouldn't be shy about my bare body because I was beautiful. Of course, he had no hesitation or problem with being fully nude around me. His touches made me see stars and when he went down on me for the first time, I almost died on the spot. As much as the man wanted to stay between my legs, I'd think that was his favorite place to be and he's actually admitted it a few times.

Tig even took me out on a few dates and we always had a nice time together. He'd always find something fun for us to do. One time though, he almost beat a man to death because he started flirting with me. He broke the guy's jaw and was 2 seconds away from putting a bullet in his eye. From that day, I knew he was one stingy man who got jealous easily and most importantly, I knew I was his.

...

Today was my 19th birthday, but I wasn't exactly excited. I wanted to be 21 instead of hearing I look it.

Tig didn't stay with me the past few nights and Rouge's been replacing him by snuggling with me. She seemed to know it was my birthday because she showered me in doggy kisses for a minute straight. After getting ready for the day and feeding my pets, I took Rouge out for a morning jog while munching on a Pop-Tart with the clubhouse being our last stop.

I let Rouge get a drink from a hose near one of the closed garage doors and saw most of the Sons' bikes lined together near the clubhouse. I stepped in the bar and it was vacant of hang arounds, but almost all the boys were casually lounging about. The guys didn't even glance at me when they heard me come in and it was strange seeing them all so quiet.

I sat next to Bobby on the couch. He had a black binder in his hands and he was reading it, looking to be very focused on whatever the contents were. His reading glasses were on the tip of his nose and the corners of his mouth were tugged down.

 **"Hey, Tal."** He said monotonously and flipped to the next page. **"How was school?"**

 **"I graduated, Bobby. Besides, it's Sunday. It's the 12th too."** I smiled, hinting at what today was.

 **"...that's nice, sounds like a lot of fun."** He exhaled and muttered something about whatever he was reading. My eyebrows went up in surprise when I realized he wasn't listening to me.

Bobby always listened to me. I could tell him a bunch of problems as long as the goddamn Riot Act and he'd listen to every word I said. I would've expected him to be singing Happy Birthday to me all day because he was the one reminding me that it was coming up, but it was like he couldn't give less of a damn if I was here. That was weird too because if not Chibs or Juice, he'd be the first person greeting me when I came around.

 **"Do me a favor and get the other binder outta my room. Careful, the door's sticky."** He lazily glanced at me as if to say I had no other choice but to do what he asked and I slowly got up. Maybe he just forgot today was my birthday. Something important could be happening with the Club and he could just be preoccupied by it.

I saw his room key on the armrest and took it before I went to the back. I walked down the line of doors until I got to his and unlocked it, telling Rouge to stay put. I started looking around for another black binder and my search was in vain so far. I looked in his dressers, the closet, under the bed and anywhere else he could possibly store a logbook, but I couldn't find it. I found lots of nudie mags and condoms, even a few dildos and edible body oils, but not what he sent me to fetch for him. I started heading out to ask Bobby where he could've put it, but the door wouldn't open when I pulled at it. It was locked and the keyhole was on the other side, so I couldn't even pick it. Great.

 **"Bobby! Clay! Jax!"** I called and banged on the door.

I kept pounding on the door and I even kicked at it to create a louder noise, but nobody came to get me out. What if they all went out for something? They could be gone for hours and I was going to be trapped in here for God knows how long. I paced around the small room for a minute, banged on the door again and yelled for someone to come get me. I saw the rectangular window above the bed and tried to open it, but it felt like it was bolted shut. Defeated, I slumped against the door and waited.

After a few minutes of silence, I heard Clay's muffled voice talking to someone and the conversation was getting louder. It sounded like he was arguing with someone and Jax's voice jumped into the heated debate, then the rest of the boys joined in. A pair of gunshots pierced through the yelling and I heard screaming, glass breaking. It sounded like there was a brawl raging on out there. Scurrying feet were stomping everywhere and I could hear Chibs' brogue screaming threats. I heard Juice and Bobby's frantic voices clamoring down the hall with a mess of feet. What the hell was going on out there?!

I heard another door slam and their muffled voices screaming inside. After a few minutes, they went silent and I heard clam footfalls sauntering down the hallway. I quietly backed away from the door and to Bobby's left nightstand, loading his silver pistol when the footsteps stopped. I saw the golden knob turning as much as the lock would allow it before the person started shoving against the door. After a few tries, they stopped and continued down the hall. I heard the boys yelling again, their voices overlapping one another. I jumped when I heard gunshots, 6 of them. Then there was the deadly silence, my thumping heart the only sound I could hear.

Suddenly, I heard Rouge barking and her nails scratching at the wood before it opened. She wagged her tail at me and dashed off before I could step out. She was waiting at the corner of the hall and she ran off when I started following her. I crept out into the hallway and Rouge didn't come back, so she was investigating or watching something. I had a tight grip on the gun as I stepped out into the main room of the clubhouse and had it at eye level. A hand went over the pistol and pulled me to the left, pinning my arms high against the wall. My attacker was wearing an Anbu weasel mask and I could tell it was a man, but that was it. I couldn't see his eyes or a scar or any tattoos for me to identify him by later.

I was twisting my wrist to get out of his hold and he was focused on getting the gun out of my tight grip. My knee came up and almost got him in the groin, but he caught it with his knees and we both fell on the floor. I saw the gun a few inches from me and rolled on my stomach to crawl for it. The masked man grabbed one of my legs and flipped me on my back, dragging me away from the gun. He went to get it and I took him down with an outside foot sweep. I crawled over him and got the pistol in my hand, but he clamped his hand over my outstretched arm and rolled over again, trapping me under him with his knees on either sides on my waist. With my free hand, I threw a punch and it connected with the man's forearm as he blocked it. He kept blocking my punches and trying to pry the gun from my grip. I bent my knees up to my chest and kicked the man in his chest, launching him off me as well as using the force to get upright.

Instantly, I unsheathed my Gerber Mark II knife as the man stumbled back and I was ready to charge. He racked the slide of the pistol pointed it at my chest, stopping me in place. He straightened up and flicked the gun to a spot behind me. I narrowed my eyes at him and reluctantly lowered my knife, but I still had a grip on it when I turned around. Surrounding a table was 6 people and they all had masks on too.

If these people were here and none of the Sons were around, I had to wonder what the hell they did to them. With all the fuss from earlier, who knows what could've happened. They could all be dead or they could be gagged and tied somewhere in the clubhouse. Rouge wasn't even around and I swear to the fearsome Satan below, I was going to _maul everyone to death with my bare hands_ if something happened to my goddamn dog!

The guy who took my gun nudged me in the shoulder with it and I walked to the table, sitting down. As soon as I did, I was turned around to face the man and he hand his hand in my hair, yanking it back. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping out and I was waiting for him to get closer, so I could slit his fucking stomach open.

My hair was let go and the man moved quick when he turned me around. I was thinking I'd see one of the boys' severed heads on the table and that these people would start trying to get information out of me, but they'd have to kill me because I'd never tell them anything. I wasn't going to be a rat. Instead of a freshly severed limb, there was a 2 tiered birthday cake with an icing tiara sitting on top and 'Happy Birthday Talia' inscribed in cursive on the bottom tier, the smell of chocolate radiating from it.

 **"Happy Birthday!"** They all cheered and unveiled themselves, party poppers and noise makers going off by the second.

Clay, Bobby, Jax, Juice, Gemma and Tig were all laughing at me and cheering. Tig was the one who I was just fighting, but I didn't care because they were all fine and unscathed. Gemma was the first to wrap me in her arms and shower me with kisses, then everyone else followed suit. I heard Rouge bark and she popped up from under the table with a purple party hat on her head.

 **"You really thought we forgot it was your birthday, didn't you?"** Bobby asked with a huge smile.

 **"Yeah! You guys were ignoring me! Then you stage a goddamn invasion and I thought you were all dead! And _you!_ "** I turned to Tig to see a mischievous glint in his eyes that contradicted with his mock innocent face. I stuck my tongue out at him, but he hugged me and I could feel his chuckle vibrating through his chest.

My family sung Happy Birthday and I cut the cake, giving the first piece to Gemma. I didn't know if she made it or bought it, but as the matriarch, she should get the first of everything. Everyone got a slice of cake and the presents started coming out as we ate. The boys got me CDs, clothes, posters, dream catchers, birthday cards with money tucked inside them and some other club influenced gifts. Clay popped open a bottle and I thought it was champagne, but it was sparkling cider. He stood on a chair in front of us and we were waiting for a speech because he obviously had one.

 **"Brothers, lover, lend me your ears."** He started and everyone was snickering. **"I remembered when Talia first started coming around here and nobody thought she'd last a week with us, but she's still here. She's dedicated herself to this Club and its members. She's taken care of us and done her part with supporting anything asked of her. She's gonna make a fine Old Lady one day."** He winked down at me and some of the boys hooted in agreement. Gemma rubbed my shoulders and smiled at me. **"Today, we celebrate the youngest member of our family taking another step into adulthood and we raise a glass to our princess as we make her officially part of the SAMCRO family. Welcome, Talia!"**

Everyone raised their glasses and cheered, taking a drink afterwards. I got more hugs and pats on the back for officially becoming part of the SAMCRO name and I couldn't stop smiling.

 **"The best gift is saved for last."** Jax said and he was slurring a bit already, but smiling at me. We all started going to the back where the rooms were. **"This is just a little something from the whole family."**

He motioned to a door and I knew it was one of the spare rooms the clubhouse had in case they inducted a new member. Everyone had face-splitting grins on their faces as I opened the door and I almost started bawling when I saw what was inside. Confetti was all over the ground and balloons were floating about everywhere, but I was more focused on what was on the bed. Sitting on the edge was Happy and he had a black case on his lap, but was beaming at me.

I ran into his arms and hugged him to the point of bonding myself with the man. He was gone for months this time and I missed him so much. After getting a Happy Birthday from him, he told me I had a pair of presents. The first one was the box in his hand and when he opened it, everyone started whistling at the Nighthawk T3 Stainless. My God, it was perfect. The last gift was something I'd cherish forever, my own cut. Mine didn't have any patches on the front like the boys had, but the Reaper was on the back for all to see. When I put it on, the cropped leather came to the middle of my rib cage.

Everyone left to let me take in my new room and I could hear them enjoying their drinks in the main room, music coming from in there too. Tig brought in all my gifts and I decorated the top of the dresser with some of my gifts. After putting up some posters and taking a look around, I sat on the bed in complete awe. I still couldn't believe this was my room now, that I had a place at the clubhouse.

 **"Best birthday ever."** I happily sighed and fell back, landing in Tig's lap. He was smiling down at me and I felt his fingers start to stroke my hair. I closed my eyes to savor the feeling and I heard him chuckle.

 **"I got something else for you, Tal."** He almost whispered it like he was trying to wake me up, but I didn't open my eyes because I wanted to be surprised.

I felt him digging in his pockets and I opened my eyes when he stopped, eyes fixed on the silver dangling above me. I had to sit up to see it properly, but it was a necklace and there were a few charms on it. A pale aquamarine, heart-shaped gem was hanging on the end of a silver nameplate charm that had 'Alex' stamped in bold black letters and a single angel wing was dangling next to it.

I tore my gaze from the beautiful necklace to Tig and he was watching me, but if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was blushing a bit. Looking at them now, his eyes almost perfectly matched the color of the gem. He pulled me in his lap and kept his eyes on his fingers as he latched the necklace.

 **"Mine..."** He muttered, his finger delicately tracing the charms and his eyes holding a silent dominance that made them darker. **"All mine."**

His hand came up to my cheek and his thumb tenderly stroked my skin, his eyes softening when they met mine. That feeling was there again, that tingling wave of elation when he'd claim me as his and only his. It made me warm inside and my heart would skip a few beats. The way he'd trap my eyes with his when he'd say it was explainable and his voice would drop to husky, yet doting tone. He wasn't declaring it like I had no choice, he was _telling me_ , expressing it.

 **"Thank you, Tiggy. I'll never take it off."** I gave him a peck on the cheek and hugged him, my head going to the crook of his neck.

My hands went under his cut and up to his shoulders to slide it off his arms as I kissed his neck, grounding my hips into him. His hips bucked up to mine and caught both of them before I could move them and had them behind my back in a light grip, but it tightened when I tried to get out of it. He started kissing my neck and making me arch into him, softly moaning when his teeth grazed my skin. His lips came up to mine and I heard his shoes hit the floor. I did the same with mine and we pulled away from each other to take our shirts off.

I laughed when Tig tackled me on my back and pulled my pants off, doing the same with his. I squealed when he started tickling me. I was squirming to get away from him and he laid on me, trapping me in place under his weight. He managed to keep my hands away and still torture me, all the while grinning down at me like the Devil himself.

 **"Have I ever told you how pretty you look when you smile?"** He asked with a laugh and I was fighting to breathe, jovial tears running down my cheeks while my stomach was burning.

He stopped ticking me and held himself up on his forearms. He was snickering as he watched me calm down and I punched him in the shoulder when I did. He faked agony and rolled on his back, pulling me with him. His hands were under his head as he gazed at me and I traced the tattoo on his forearm. 'Death Before Dishonor' was on the scroll wrapped around a naked woman laying on a dagger. For some reason, this was my favorite of his tattoos and I couldn't pinpoint the reason for liking it so much.

When I felt his hand caressing my cheek again, I came out of my thoughts and looked at him. His eyebrows were starting to pull together in either confusion or question and his eyes were softly intent on where his hand was.

 **"...how did I get you?"** He muttered and I turned my head to kiss his hand, smiling. **"An angel for a demon...that's not right."**

 **"I'm far from an angel. I'm not as innocent as I look."**

 **"But you're not cold-blooded. You're not an evil person, Tal. You've got a heart...you're not a monster like I am."** My eyebrows furrowed at how pensive he suddenly got and his hand started to drop, but I caught it. He sat up and put his head on my chest, his arms wrapping around me like I'd leave him if he didn't. **"I don't know why you're with me, Talia. I'm no good, I don't deserve you."**

 **"Nobody's a saint, Tig."** He huffed and the heat made me shiver. He must've felt it because he glanced up at me. **"Everyone's sinned in one way or another, but it doesn't make us monsters. _You_ aren't a monster."**

 **"There's no saving me, no wiping the blood off my hands."** He turned his face back into my chest and my fingers went to tangle in his hair. I wondered where he was going with this and why he suddenly started talking so morbidly. It wasn't strange because I've heard him talk with the boys about some really grotesque stuff they've done, but we've never talked on this grim of a level. **"...you've got your whole life ahead of you, Tal. You still got a chance to leave all this, leave the Club before you're in too deep. You could start a good life with someone who deserves you. Don't trap yourself with me..."**

 **"** **I don't want anybody else, Tig.** **"** My hands went to his cheeks and I pulled him back to look at me. **"** **I'm not leaving.** **I love this Club. It took me in and gave me a family, it gave me you. Gemma and the boys mean everything to me and you...I..."**

I couldn't stare at those darling eyes anymore, but they were locked on mine and I put my forehead on his. My hand fell from his hair and settled on his chest, right over his heart. This was such a typical thing, a silly girl falling for the big, bad biker. I don't think Tig and I were even official. We were just fucking and he'd take me out on dates. What was that? A goddamn fling. He's never called me his girlfriend, only that I was his and I think that was a limited time offer. Once he was finished with me, he'd move on to the next willing participant and that'd be it. He wouldn't care about me anymore and he'd probably act like we never had anything.

I had feelings for Tig, deep feelings that weren't supposed to be there in the first place and I was choking on the words I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know that I accepted him and everything that came with it, especially the dark side of him that he was talking about. I knew about that devious side of him and I knew that wasn't him all the time. He wasn't that heartless monster that he said he was when he's around me.

I should've known what I was getting into when we started this and I should've kept myself emotionally detached from him, but I couldn't help it. Tig was everything I could ever ask for and I was attached to him. He's probably done this a million times before, had long flings that he could end with a snap of his fingers. The man had a long line of broken hearts behind him and I had a feeling mine was about to be crushed. He was breaking it to me easily though, giving me the opportunity to leave and move on. I was being stupid and still desperately hanging on to him when he was trying to throw me away.

 **"Say it...please."** Tig nudged me with his head and I looked up from his lap into those lovely eyes, his voice softly pleading in my ears.

I saw something new this time. He looked nervous, frantic, sad and worried all together. I've never seen such emotions in his eyes and I never thought I'd see them. I was still scared to tell him, afraid that he'd leave me. If I kept my mouth shut, I think he'd stay, but I don't know how long I could hold it in. I felt the tears fill my eyes and I ducked my head again to keep him from seeing them, but he cupped my cheeks. He made me look at him and a sternness was added to his gaze that let me know I wasn't getting out of this, that he was serious.

 **"I wanna know what it's like..."** He continued, voice still tenderly entreating. **"...how it feels, how Clay feels about Gemma...If you mean it, tell me. Please tell me, Talia. I need to hear it."**

 **"...I love you, Alex..."** I choked out, making the tears fall. **"...don't leave me, please..."**

 **"Never."** Tig wiped my tears away, but it looked like he was about to break too. I know I'd never see him cry and he was doing everything in his power to keep the waterworks from pouring out.

He kissed me in the gentlest and most passionate way I could imagine and it took my breath away. In that moment, I didn't want to be anywhere else. I wanted to stay close to him and wrapped in his arms. I wanted his lips to be all over me and smothering me in the best way. I just wanted him and everything that he had to offer.

When he pulled away from me, I saw him smiling and it made me smile too. Tig looked so happy and he gave me a tight hug, chuckling into my chest. I wrapped my arms around him and held him just as tight as he was holding me, but I noticed something behind him...someone standing at the door watching us.

If it were one of the boys, I could probably talk my way out of this. But it wasn't, it was Gemma.

Shit.

* * *

 **This is just my take on Tig. I think he's a very dangerous man with a messed up head, but he has a soft side for those he truly cares about. He's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he sees one half of him as purely evil and the other half is somewhat good.  
**

 **Talia is a lot like Tig with how they both handle their duty to the Club. They're both like dogs waiting to be commanded to attack, but Tig still sees her as someone better than him because she hasn't done _anything_ close to the things he has. In his eyes, she's the innocent girl she looks like and she only turns into that insane demon when a job needs to be done.**

 **Let's be honest, Tig's probably done some really abhorrent stuff that nobody could have the guts to do and that's why he thinks he's such an fiendish person. I think he just wants to be loved.**

 **If you disagree, not my problem ;3**


	6. Chapter 6

**X~Talia~X**

Gemma was leaning on the door frame and she was smirking at me, but I had to look like a deer in the headlights of a semi-trailer. My heart was stopping and I was going to drop dead at any second, I knew I was. We just got caught by the last person we'd ever want to find out about this and I had no idea what she was going to do. That was the scary part because she looked so calm, but she had this 'Gotcha' smirk on her face like she just caught a pair of kids stealing candy. Between she or Happy finding out, I don't know which would be worse, but I was about to find out.

I tapped Tig and saw him look up at me from my peripheral view, but I never took my eyes off Gemma because I had no idea what she was going to do. He turned around and I heard him curse, his hands running over his face.

 **"Gemma-"**

 **"I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!"** She said in a loud whisper and closed the door. I couldn't tell if her tone was teasing or scolding.

Tig set me on the bed and I was trying to put my clothes on as quickly as I could. Tig just slid his jeans on and I was standing next to him, trying to contemplate the quickest way to kill myself. Gemma pulled the chair from the desk to the foot of the bed and sat down, crossing one leg over the other.

 **"I've seen the little game you 2 have been playing, noticed how you look at her."** She pointed between us and when her eyes settled on me, I stiffened under her gaze. Gemma's never been pissed off at me and I've never been on her blacklist, but I was beyond terrified right now. **"Now, tell Mother what's been going on."**

 **"There's nothing going on, Gem."** Tig tried and he looked so calm as he lied, but Gemma scoffed and grinned at him.

 **"Then why were you both half-naked and why was she about 10 seconds away from riding you?"**

 **"Oh my God."** I muttered, face heating in utter embarrassment and I sat on the bed with my face in my hands. She didn't have to be so blunt.

 **"Last chance, Tigger. Cough up the true story."**

 **"Fine."** Tig sighed tiredly and Gemma leaned forward, her elbows on her knees with her chin resting on her hands. She looked _very_ interested in what he was about to say. Hell, I was too.

I thought Tig was going to cook up some magnificent lie about trying for weeks at a time to get in my pants and finally succeeding today because that would've been pretty convincing. He could've went with the whole fling option too and said that we were finished today. But he didn't say either of them. He looked the Mother of SAMCRO right in the eyes and told her _everything_ from day one to now. He was dead serious and his tone was poetic, almost like he was telling one of the best stories he's ever heard. I was taking in his every word too because he was telling her how he felt about me, that he wasn't going to drop me just because she knew. He didn't care if she told the others or about what anyone thought. He said he wasn't letting me go no matter what.

Tig just finished telling our tale and he grabbed my hand, his eyes still locked on Gemma's. She never changed her position, but she wasn't smiling anymore and I took a breath to ready myself for the lashing she was going to give us. She looked like she disproved and I was waiting to hear it, waiting for her to forbid this from continuing.

 **"You understand what you're getting into, Talia?"** She asked, her eyes never leaving Tig's. **"Being with him, a member, it's just like being with the Club. You have to dedicate yourself to what you have and you can't just leave when things get hard. There's no walking out and you're agreeing to another lifestyle to live by with a whole new set of rules. You're still young, still got a lot of life ahead of you. Making this choice is like singing a contract with a very long warranty. You sure you want this?"**

 **"Yes."** I answered truthfully and almost instantly.

Gemma finally took her eyes off Tig and looked at me. She still looked like she was judging the scene before her and she still looked like she didn't like it. I wasn't going to ask her anything though. I knew when to talk and when to keep my goddamn mouth shut, _especially_ when the Queen was involved. Tig was silent too, but his grip on my hand got a little tighter. We were standing our ground and I knew that if Gemma said this was done, we'd still be seeing each other. It'd be like some Romeo and Juliet love story just without both of us dying. I'd do it though, break any and every rule for Tig because he was my everything.

 **"You hurt my little girl,"** She said in a motherly tone and pointed at Tig, taking her pack of cigarettes out. She put one between her lips and lit it, taking a drag. **"And I'll emasculate you. I will tie you down, rip your dick from your pelvis, chuck it in a blender and make you drink a real cocktail. _"_ **

**"Feeling creative today?"** He asked in mock politeness and Gemma nodded with a smirk. **"I'll take care of her, Gem. I promise."**

 **"You'd better or I'll be on you like files on a pile of shit. And you, little miss I'm-A-Grown-Ass-Woman,"** She pointed at me and I started smiling when I saw the hint of playfulness in her eyes. **"You might be like a daughter to me, but I will kick your cute little ass if you fuck him over and don't think that kickboxing shit will help you. I'll break your goddamn legs off."**

 **"You're not mad?"**

 **"No. I was expecting this to happen, not with you 2 though. I was betting on Juice. I've been where you are, Tal, only difference is I was 17, but this isn't gonna be like me and JT 'cause Tig isn't anything like him and you aren't gonna make the same mistakes I did. I taught you to be a better woman than I was. There's something special here, I can feel it. You 2 are gonna make it. We're gonna have a little talk later, but that's all I got for now."** She took another drag and stood up, putting the chair back. She gave both of us hugs and told us to come back out to enjoy the rest of the party.

Tig and I got dressed and I could feel how relieved he was. Before we left, he hugged me and gave me a kiss. We didn't need to say anything to know that we were going to still be secretive about us until Gemma talked to me again. She was the best candidate for calmly breaking this to the rest of the boys too. That's what was making me nervous though. How the hell would Happy react?

I didn't realize how much time passed, but the clubhouse was in full on party mode now. I saw a friend of the club manning the bar. The boys called him Junkyard for some reason and I never asked about the story behind that nickname. He and Clay were usually talking and from how much Clay would laugh, they were pretty good friends. He was always watching what was going on, listening to every conversation. When he'd send me to give someone their drinks, he'd watch my every move or he'd have someone secretly trailing behind me.

I went behind the bar and side hugged him. He looked down and smirked at me before finishing his conversation with another man. I sat on the stool back here and looked around the place. I saw the boys in different corners with Crow Eaters in their laps or against a wall.

Junkyard whistled and caught my attention. There was a tray of shots for me to take out and a beer in case someone asked for one. He pointed to the corner the shots were supposed to go to and it was one guy with about 4 girls giggling around him on a couch. I made my way over and started setting the glasses down, not catching the attention of any of them and taking the bill on the table. As I made my way back to the bar, my eyes fell on the pool table where a few people were watching Happy and Tig play. Happy had a pair of girls behind him acting as his cheerleaders and Tig was talking over his shoulder to 3 men as he lined up a shot. I stopped and leaned on a beam to watch.

Tig was lining his shot while Happy was getting some feminine attention and he said something to the trio behind him with a smirk. I think there was a bet going on. A strawberry blonde pushed off the wall where the cue sticks were and she pulled her tank down a bit, letting the lace of her pink bra show. These Crow Eaters never fail to amaze me every night. I thought she was going to join in on what Happy was doing, but her heels clacked over to Tig and she was rubbing his shoulders, whispering in his ear. By far, Tig's jealously was 10 times as worse compared to mine, but I still had my moments and this was one of them.

I heard the clack of the cue hitting the billiard balls and Happy threw his hands up in victory, laughing at Tig. He harshly shrugged the woman off him and told her to go away, not in the nicest of ways. He and Happy were playfully arguing, but he groaned and pulled out a few bills from his pocket. Happy got pulled off by his women and another man started racking the balls while Tig continued his conversation. I went over there and put a beer in his hand, smiling when he saw me. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and winked at me before I went back to the bar.

I took more rounds out and got tipped a few times. Like always, I was asked to sit down for a drink a couple times and I always declined. The man would get one look at Junkyard or one of the boys and he'd back off. When the Crow Eaters came to get beers for whomever they were fucking tonight, they'd sometimes talk with me and that usually revolved around them telling me how pretty I was. Some of them were saying it because they were envious of me, others were genuine and admiring. Either way, it was pretty nice hearing that I was one hot little number.

Things slowed down and I got a minute to sit down. After counting my tips, I pocketed 70 bucks and it was easy money. Chibs was at a table in the corner and he had his arm around a brunette. He kicked back the last of his bottle and glanced at the bar, smiling when he saw me. He flicked 2 fingers up and I nodded. I got 2 more bottles of beer for him and gave Junkyard a pat on the back to let him know I was venturing off. I made my way through the hordes of rowdy bodies and to Chibs' spot. He said something to the girl and she walked off.

 **"Come join me, Tal. Got someone I want ya' to meet."** I gave him his bottle and set the other one on the table.

There were a few men and women sitting around, but my attention was on the one who had the tattoo of a bloody dagger going through his neck. Paired with that were devils on either of his shoulders, coffins on his left forearm, a 10 point star, a rose wrapped in barbwire and the most detailed one was the Madonna and Child on his upper right arm. His blonde hair was fading with age and in a buzz cut. Stubble coated his chin and his face was hard, almost like a statue. He had a smile on his face, but his ice blue eyes gave away his deadly demeanor. The man didn't look like he was from around here, but he was pretty bulky and his white tank was highlighting just how strong he was.

 **"This is Rostislav.** **"** Chibs introduced the man and he nodded at me. **"He trained the boys at Suvorov Military School and he's about as destructive a goddamn war tank. He's been watchin' you fight the last 2 months."**

 **"You're very good with your hands,** ** _krasavitsa_** **."** His accent was heavier than the Scotsman's and I could barely understand what the hell he was saying. I had to play it back in my head to make sure I knew what he said.

 **"Hey, watch it."** Chibs pointed a finger at the Russian man and slung his arm around my shoulders. **"** **Keep your courteous comments to yourself or I'll close this deal before ya' even offer it."**

Rostislav nodded in understanding and took a drink from his bottle. He didn't look offended by Chibs' harsh tone either. Stuff like this usually ends in a bar fight, but both men looked at ease now. They must be really good friends.

 **"What deal?"** I asked Chibs and Rostislav smiled at me.

 **"The last 10 years, Ros has been training fighters for his underground competition. It's a fightin' club and a damn exclusive one at that, winner takes home around 50 grand."** I whistled at the number and Chibs chuckled. That was big to me and I wouldn't know what the hell to do with it. **"The fights are recorded and sold for a very fat profit in which Ros will be taking a cut from. The fighters get into a** **3 round b** **are knuckle, no holds barred** **cage match. It sounded like somethin' you'd be interested in."**

 **"What's the catch?"** Chibs lost his smile and scratched his chin. He looked at Rostislav and he was lighting a cigar.

 _ **"Boi na smert'."**_ He muttered with the brown stick around his lips. He took a puff and exhaled it to the left so it wouldn't get in my face.

I looked at Chibs for translation and he was staring into the table, his hands closed around the green bottle of his beer. Rostislav said something else in his language that made Chibs close his eyes and sigh.

 **"Only one fighter walks out."** Chibs said lowly and he looked at me, eyes cautious with a hint of fear or sadness. **"The matches are to the death."**

 **"Hence why there are only** ** _tri_** **rounds."** Rostislav added, flicking 3 of his fingers up. **"Most don't make it to final round. Fight is usually over by second and there are** ** _no_** **draws because death is accepted over shame in Russia. I've seen you fight, Talia. You have very good chance at being champion. You have much talent, but there is room for improvement.** **I will train you before first match and all my** ** _ucheniki_** **have come out victorious, so you will be shoe in.** **"**

Rostislav excused himself and walked off to head for the bathroom. Chibs didn't say anything yet and I didn't expect him to, not until after I thought about this. Fighting was something I was really good at. Some people are naturally good at drawing or cooking. I've got a natural skill at knocking someone out in 20 minutes or less. Chibs said I was an aggressive fighter, but I wasn't the type to just start charging like a raging bull. I was the evade and counter type of fighter who studied my opponent to find their weak spots before mercilessly striking.

This though, I've never been in a type of fight like this. There wouldn't be any rules, nobody stopping me from going too far, nobody breaking us up, no getting pulled out of the ring. I was going to kill someone with my bare hands or get killed and they were the only 2 options. I wasn't afraid of ending someone's life for every match because that's what I aim to do in all of my fights, but someone always stops me. No, my trepidation was having _my_ life ripped away from me and never seeing my family again. It'd be a painful way to die too. Things were just getting good around here too. I just got a cut, I'm an official member of SAMCRO, I told Tig I loved him and we were official now. Our relationship was just starting to blossom and I wanted to be there for when it bloomed into something beautiful. This competition though...I wanted to do it just as much as I wanted Tig and he knew how much fighting meant to me, all the boys did.

 **"I haven't told any of 'em."** I looked at Chibs and he still had that impassive look on his face. He met my eyes in the same slightly worried stare and I could tell the gears were cranking in his head. **"Nobody knows about** **Ros or the fights or the money. This is just between the 3 of us."**

 **"Do you want me to do this?"** He turned away from me then, his eyes going back to his bottle. **"I won't if you don't think it's a good idea, if you think I can't handle it."**

 **"You've got it in ya', Tal. I know you can handle this and I want you to get this experience, but I don't want ya' to get hurt. Sounds pretty stupid considerin' you'll be fighting, but still. If you don't come back..."** He trailed off with a sigh and rested his head on his layered arms, muttering something that was muffled murmurs to my ears.

 **"I wanna do it, Chibs. I wanna make you proud."** He picked his head up and I smiled at him. His arm went over my shoulders again and I hugged his side.

 **"I'm already proud of ya', lovie."**

Chibs and I talked about if I was sure about my decision and he told me how good of friends he was with the Russian man. They go back pretty far and there was a lot of trust between them, so I was at ease with the guy. We talked up until Rostislav came back. I told him I accepted his invitation and he pulled out a goddamn contract. This really was an exclusive club.

Chibs moved us back into my room and he carefully read over each line of that document. He told me the basis of the arrangement, which was that I was perfectly fine with putting my life on the line and that there was no backing out. Chibs signed as my primary contact and I signed the line below him. Rostislav looked like he was going to explode from how excited he looked and he was singing something in Russian. He said he'd be back in 3 days and that's when I'd be set on my way.

...

After my signing night, Gemma called me over to her house for lunch and we had a long talk. She told me about she and JT, how she was young and naive like me when she fell for him. It was lovely really. Then Gemma told me exactly what happens when the guys go on runs. They were basically single and could fuck whoever they pleased, but they wouldn't bring the woman back with them or anything. If she followed him back, I got to kick her ass. What happens on runs, stays on runs as Gem says and she said it'll be better for everyone to never ask about the women.

The next day, I didn't go to the clubhouse or even come out of my own room because I was crying my eyes out all day. I didn't want some sleazy Crow Eater pawing at my Tig. Happy knocked on my door when he shrugged off his hangover and got his one night stands out. He kept asking if something was wrong because he was going out on a hit and he wanted me to come with him, but I told him I didn't want to go. That was the first time I declined a job with him.

On the third day, Chibs came by. He told me he was going to break the news to everyone when they needed to know and he helped me pack my bag before we went to the clubhouse. I spent time with my family and it they all seemed really happy today. I figured out why they were all so ecstatic. That hit Happy wanted me on yesterday got them a few crates crate of AKMs and M4A1 Carbines. Juice and Bobby brought them out and we all started assembling them on the pool table like this was a family tradition. In a way, it was because this was something we all knew how to do.

Once we got the guns put together, Happy, Bobby, Clay and Jax were headed out to either sell or store them. Seizing the moment, I took Tig into my room and I was desperately kissing him like my life depended on it. That day marked the first time we've made love and the first time Tig told me that he loved me. When we were finished and he was just holding me close to him, I almost started crying again. I didn't want to leave him and I didn't want him to be with another woman because he'd probably want her instead of me, but I was set on my way and there was nothing stopping that.

At around 3, Chibs pulled me aside and told me Rostislav was waiting outside. I gave everyone a hug and they probably thought I was just going home. I gave Tig the longest hug and I heard him chuckle at how affectionate I was being today. I walked out with Chibs and Rostislav was in a suit pacing in front of silver Porsche Panamera. That wide grin was on his face again and he opened the passenger door to me. I gave Chibs his goodbye hug and he told me to take care of myself. I told him to take care of the boys and to keep an eye on Tig. I took Rostislav's hand to help me in the car and he gently shut the door behind me. Through the tinted window, I saw he and Chibs exchange a few words before they embraced. I kept my eyes on the window for the whole drive and Rostislav was chatting away on his phone.

I said goodbye to Charming once again and there was a possibility I wouldn't be coming back home this time...there was a possibility that I'd never see Tig again and I was clutching my necklace to remember him.

* * *

 _ **X~Flashbacks Over~X**_


	7. Chapter 7

**X~Talia~X**

For almost 4 years, I stayed with Rostislav in Moscow and we trained in a gym a few blocks away from his place. He taught me Russian and trained me for most of my first year. He was a strict mentor too, had me on a bedtime curfew and everything. He barely let me have a glass of alcohol, absolutely no pot and he had me on a goddamn diet. I felt like I was in prison again, but it was to better me and it did. Granted, I snapped on Ros because I wasn't used to being told what to do and given rules to abide by, but he whipped me into shape and got me the discipline I needed.

After intense training, I had my first fight and I was half surprised to see that I was fighting a girl. She went down in the first round anyway and I thought this was going to be easy, I'd get through the rest of these fights like it was nothing.

There were 10 matches to get through to advance to the next stage and I won my first series of fights. It was break time and the leave would be used for rest and relaxation. Once I was healed, I started training again and was inducted into the 2nd part of the tournament. After my second grand winning, I had a very stubborn black eye and a broken wrist that had to be reset. It hurt like a bitch too.

When the last round of the tournament came up, I couldn't believe it when I won because I could barely see anything and I was sprawled out on the ring floor trying to breathe. Those 10 matches were by far the most brutal, painful and exhausting fights I've ever been in, but I still got the thrill from fighting and I was hooked on it. The injuries I had this time were the worst I've ever gotten. I had a slight limp that came from a PLC injury, a broken left forearm, Subconjunctival hemorrhage in my right eye 2 fractured ribs and one broken.

I was sore as hell in that hospital bed and I looked like a mangled kitten, but I was smiling like a winner because I was one. Ros was at my beside everyday of my recovery and he was already telling me about more matches or some challenges I could accept. As my current trainer, he forbid me to start fighting again until I was fully healed and even when I was able to get out of the hospital, he wanted me to take a few weeks get back to tip-top shape. In that time, Chibs called me and he told me how things were going at the Club, but I could barely hear him because all the boys were screaming their heads off trying to say hi or that they missed me.

Ros counted out my winnings and it actually totaled to 10K, but he took his share and I was rewarded 60,000. For the last year of my time in Russia, I accepted some challenges and aided Ros in whatever outlaw assistance he needed. He had 5 cathouses that were racking in some serious cash and he taught me how to run one of them. After a few fights and all my bruises faded, I got gussied up and dyed my hair a romantic shade of purple. It was time to go back home.

I returned to Charming at 24 and Ros said he had a gift waiting for me. Said gift just so happened to be a brothel that was being run by someone connected to him. The Kitten's Den was a 3 story Mediterranean estate and it was _very_ popular. The first floor was the lobby and bar, second was the massage parlor and the third was their rooms. I had 20 girls and a pair of assistants, Marco and David. They weren't interested in my Kittens because they preferred tomcats and I think they were dating. They were my bookkeepers, took care of setting the girls up and scheduling appointments. The women were very well-trained though and they didn't act out of line when there was a change of command. With what Ros taught me, running this place would be a breeze.

After I got the working of the brothel settled, I visited Gemma baring a bouquet of flowers and she went nuts. She was very happy to have me back home and like any mother, she was trying to stuff me full of food until I was as big as a house. I asked her to drop me off at Cara Cara because I had a business proposition for Luann. I told her about some of my girls, showed her their files and she bought 3 of them. I called the Den and Marco was going to drive Kaia, Roxy and Gaia over. It was finally time to go to the clubhouse.

* * *

It felt so good to be back home. Being with the boys again, seeing them so happy because I was home, feeling like I was back where I belonged, it made me whole again. I missed these knuckleheads. If there was one thing I missed more than the Club, it was Tig and I was going to show him just how much I missed him when we got a minute alone.

Jax was still buzzing in my ear about bringing some of my girls for their little fuck party tonight and I was having a good time hearing him plead. Once he got on his knees and begged me, that's when I said I could probably scoop up something for him. For some reason, I was freezing and I was rubbing my arms to get warm. I guess my body was adjusting to the new climate.

 **"You tamper with something good while you were in Russia, Tal?"** Juice asked from the stool next to me with a crooked smile. **"You look like you're suffering from withdrawal."**

 **"I didn't turn into a junkie, fuckface."** I punched him in the arm and he pouted at me. I could never stay mad at Juice, but My God, he could do and say some really stupid shit sometimes.

Juice and I were like breathing and blinking, fire and kerosene, a gun to a bullet. I looked to him as more of a big brother than I did Jax, but I still loved the blondie. Juice and I were so close because we were both strays that got adopted into this Club, we got our own family and loved it to pieces. I often protected him from the 'Brotherly Love' the guys gave him, made them stop using him as a goddamn punching bag when I was around. He usually tags along with me when I go do my bounty work, body-guarding a meeting if it's out in public or he'd be running right next to me when we were chasing our next pay. We've robbed a few houses before, raided some stores and it was all in good fun. As the youngest pair around here, we were bound to act like kids.

 **"What's wrong then?"**

 **"I'm just cold. It feels like it's below zero in here. Hey, cutie!"** Their Prospect turned around came came to my end of the bar.

He really was just the cutest thing and I couldn't stop the girly smirk that spawned on my lips when I saw those darling powder blue eyes. From his short sleeves, I could see his arms and they were pretty toned. Blush pink lips, adorable smile. His curly locks made him look cute and young. We probably had a couple years separating us because there was no way he was already in his 30's.

 **"Can I get a shot of fireball? I'm dying of hypothermia over here."**

 **"Sure thing."** He smiled and me and started on my drink.

When he finished it, I took it back and it gave me the intense burn I was looking forward to. Oh, how I've missed that delightful scorching feeling. I started coughing a bit and Juice was lightly patting me on the back, but I asked for another shot.

 **"Hey."** Juice whispered and I got closer to him, sensing the sudden seriousness. **"I've heard about some hits already, bounty on some drifters. The pay's real nice. I've got some info on my laptop. You can check it out later, see if you like it."**

 **"Nice. I already booked a pickup, wanna come with me?"**

 **"Of course."** Juice smiled and I hugged him.

 **"You get any war wounds on your leave, Tal?"** Chibs asked from behind me and I carefully took the shot back, still choking off it, before I sat on the bar.

 **"Check it."** I tugged my tank up and let everyone see the bandage on the left of my torso. I got a few impressed whistles and some cringing faces, but I smiled at them. **"2 fractured and one's broken."**

While everyone else was cringing in delight, Chibs came to my front to gently peel the bandage off and he tenderly poked around my ribs until he felt the ones that were abnormal from the rest. Chibs poked the bottom one again and I hissed this time. The pain that came with breathing started making its presence too. Looks like the drugs were wearing off.

 **"What's the doc got you on?"**

 **"What doctor?"** I asked and Chibs looked up at me like I was crazy.

 **"What've you been takin' for the pain?"**

 **"Die-hydro-crocodile."** Chibs blankly stared at me and turned to Juice. He shrugged with a smirk and I asked for someone to bring me my suitcase.

Jax rolled it over and that's when I noticed Tig was missing. Bobby was leaning on the wall near the dorms and he smiled at me when I glanced at him. Jax set my suitcase on the bar and I unzipped it, digging through it to find the pills I've been taking to give it to the Scotsman. He looked over the white and orange box and took out one of the foil packets to inspect the drug.

 **"See? Die-hydro-crocodile."**

 **"Dihydrocodeine."** He corrected. **"You need a prescription for this and ya' didn't go to the hospital, so where'd ya' get it?"**

 **"I said I didn't go see a** ** _doctor._** **I never said I didn't go to a hospital."**

 **"Our little thief is home."** Jax laughed and pat me on the shoulder. He was right though.

 **"Talia..."** Chibs started and I knew he was going to start his badgering about my ribs.

 **"It's nothing anyone needs to worry about."** I cut him off and he raised an eyebrow. **"I'm serious. I'll be healed up in a few days."**

 **"And you're gonna be restin' for those few days. No hits, no fightin'."**

 **"Chibs!"**

 **"No, Tal. You work yourself too much and that's gonna turn into a punctured lung."**

 **"But I just got a call today!"**

 **"No working, Talia."** I slowly turned my head to Happy and my jaw was probably about to fall off my face. How could _he_ , of all people, forbid me not to do a job? **"We'll handle it and anything else that comes up, but you're not doing anything 'til you're better."**

 **"Sorry, lovie."** Chibs started replacing the bandage around my torso, giving me a peck on the cheek after.

 **"What's the job, Tal?"** Clay asked and I was angrily muttering empty threats as I got the folded picture of my target from my pocket. I handed it to Chibs and it circled around.

 **"It's a simple pickup and deliver. Some CEO in Clovis wants his daughter back because she wants to run around Charming with her boy-toy, name's Sylvia. Daddy said she ran away to her boyfriend, owns a strip club called Muff N' Topz."**

 **"Damn, this broad is big."** Jax looked disturbed at the photo of the daughter. The girl was sporting at least 290 pounds, but I've seen bigger 21 year olds than her. **"The girls at Muff N' Topz are like 3 times her size. They could eat her for a midnight snack."**

 **"Juice, get some info on butterball's boyfriend, phone it through."** Clay instructed and Juice nodded, probably going to get his laptop. **"How much for little miss Piggy?"**

 **"7 grand and Daddy'll throw in another stack if you bring the boyfriend. Word of advice, bring all the muscle you can 'cause that girl is like 12 tons. Get a box of Twinkies too. And be** ** _gentle_** **. The price goes down for damaged goods. You guys keep the money."** I wrote down the place where Sylvia's Dad said she might be staying and Clay took Happy and Jax out to go scope out the scene.

Chibs drilled me on coming to him if anything was wrong and I kept telling him I was fine, but he wasn't hearing it. He told me to cut back on the pill-popping too because I was taking more than I should in a day. He went to go get me some Tylenol or something and I headed back into the dorms, partially in search of Tig, but more to get my cut because I knew it was still sitting on my bed. I felt bare without it.

Bobby slung his arm around me before I went down the hall and he was leading me away from it.

 **"You're comin' with me, little lady."** He smirked and took my suitcase from my hand to roll it near the doors of the Chapel. **"We're going to** **Salinas to audition for a show. Half-Sack's comin' with me and you can tell him how cute he is on the drive."**

 **"He** ** _is_** **cute."**

 **"He's freakin' adorable."** He chuckled and I giggled.

 **"I gotta make a pit stop at my place first."**

 **"You** ** _really_** **don't wanna go there."** I stopped Bobby before he pulled me out the door and raised an eyebrow. **"I'm not even gonna lie to you, Tal. We turned your place into a bachelor pad and trashed it. Tig told me not to tell you, but he's cleaning up your place now and he wanted me to keep you busy until he got everything situated."**

So that's where he ran off to. I didn't even notice when he left, then again, the man could move like a shadow. I could only imagine that my place reeked of pussy, stale vomit and possibly piss, so I didn't have a problem with keeping clear of it until Tig got it cleaned up. It was sweet of him to do that too.

 **"Gemma told you guys about us?"** I coyly asked and Bobby laughed, his arm going around my shoulders as we walked outside.

 **"Yeah, but we knew** ** _long_** **before she did. Happy caught you guys banging in the bathroom, almost broke Tig's neck."**

Bobby teased me about being with Tig for a few minutes while we waited for Chibs to come back and I took every hit because I know they put him though the same thing. Bobby did tell me that Fang, Buffy and Rouge were still alive, so I wouldn't have to rip someone's soul out. He said my little bitters were almost the size of handballs now and that they finally knocked boots. Buffy and Fang had a pretty big litter of babies and the boys sold some of them, which I wasn't upset about. I was really interested to hear that they used the fish for means of getting answers out of someone and the guy was walking around with 3 fingers now. He told me they had a club-housekeeper around here too, some guy named Chuck. I had yet to meet him, but Bobby said he was a good guy.

When Chibs came back, he had a few bottles of Aleve for me and I took one dry because it felt like someone was stabbing me in my chest. Again, he told me to take it easy and call him if something feels wrong or if I start coughing up blood. He looked and sounded really concerned, so I asked him to stop by the Kitten's Den to check on the girls. That got his mind off my minor injury.

With Bobby leading on his bike, I got on the back of Half-Sack's Dyna and we were set on our hour long drive to Salinas. I was squirming a bit through the ride and Half-Sack would ask me if I was alright. I just had to get used to being on a bike again and Tig's was a Street Bob, so I wasn't exactly used to riding on this model. The vibrations from the engine were something I could never forget though and feeling them purring against me again had me dry humping the seat.

When we arrived at the venue hosting the contest, Bobby was already humming to the tune he was going to perform. We walked into the building and it was a pretty classy setup, almost like a ballroom. The owner came to greet Bobby and led him to the dressing rooms to get changed. Half-Sack and I took it upon ourselves to scope out the competition and we sat at a table close to the stage. We were both prepared to kick someone ass if they decided to do an Elvis act too. A few acts went up and we weren't interested in them, so we were talking and ordering drinks from the open bar, but one of them caught my attention. It was a trio of guys...

 **"Josh?"** I called to the short haired blonde with the guitar and he turned around.

 **"Talia!"** I got up from the table and Josh was smiling his ass off as he helped me up on the stage.

Ethan and Dylan were equally happy to see me and after a round of hugs, I asked why they were here. They were auditioning for the 'New Age Rock' position and they said they had a temporary vocalist until they could get a permanent one, but he hasn't shown up yet. They were still just as dedicated to this little band now as they were when we were teenagers.

I had a feeling it was going to happen, so I wasn't surprised when they asked me to replace their singer. After some pleading, suffering through their blue-eyed puppy pouts and Half-Sack saying he wanted to hear me sing, I agreed to be their vocalist for today and this weekend if they got the position. Ethan gave 4 taps on his drumsticks before Josh started strumming and we caught the eyes of _everyone_ in the place. I was so glad I never got stage fright because I would've dropped dead at the sight of all the eyes watching me.

 _ **"Every day I wake up**_  
 _ **Every day I wake up alone**_

 _ **Every day I wake up**_  
 _ **Every day I wake up alone**_

 _ **Let me open up the discussion with, I'm not impressed with any mother fucking word I say**_  
 _ **See, I lied that I cried when he came inside**_  
 _ **And now I'm burning a highway to Hades**_

 _ **Shut the fuck up when I'm trying to think!**_  
 _ **I got to keep my concentration, give me one more drink**_  
 _ **And then I'll try to remember all the advice that my good book told me**_

 _ **And all the lost souls say...**_

 _ **Every day I wake up**_  
 _ **Every day I wake up alone**_  
 _ **Kill me, just kill me**_  
 _ **Or get me out of the sun"**_

Half-Sack started cheering and I couldn't stop the laugh that slipped out. The boys looked really happy as they continued to play and I saw Bobby come out in his Elvis getup. He was next to Half-Sack and he was cheering along with him up until I finished. Hell, they were both standing on the goddamn table and clapping for me. I got mad praise from Bobby and the owner went to speak with the boys before he went up. He started singing _Mystery Train_ and I was grooving to the lively beat.

Half-Sack and I were goofily dancing together like we were kids from the 1950s and we were laughing our asses off throughout Bobby's performance. Everyone in the room clapped when he was finished and I already knew he was getting a spot. The manager was talking to Bobby now and the boys were packing up to go home. They said it was really nice to see me and that if I ever wanted to get back in the band, there was always a spot open for me. That was sweet.

Bobby did get the Elvis spot and we stayed at the venue until all the other acts were finished. When we left, it was dark out and I got a call before I mounted Half-Sack's bike. It was from Jax and he said they had the big broad. He was such a gentleman. I asked if they damaged the goods and he said they didn't, that they've been stuffing Sylvia full of Twinkies since they took her and that they had her boyfriend. I told them were her Dad would meet them and they were headed to the spot. I texted Sylvia's father and told him that his daughter would be at the meeting point in about 15 minutes.

When we started driving back to Charming, Bobby went straight to the clubhouse while Half-Sack drove me to my cathouse. I had to get the girls gussied up for my brothers tonight and I had to get glamorous too.

My first night back was going to be full of drinking and Tig, _lots_ of Tig.


	8. Chapter 8

**X~Tig~X**

Talia was back home and _my God,_ she wasn't a little kid anymore. Granted, she was still the shortest person around the MC, but she really grew into a beautiful woman. That body got curvier and she was sexier than I remembered.

We had a little reunion of our own when she walked out on everyone for not picking her up. I just had to kiss her, had to get the taste of _her_ on my lips again. I think she already knew that I was sexually active during her time away and neither of us was going to bring it up because it wasn't important. Every girl I was with, all I could see was her face and all I could think about was her.

I was a mess without her with me and nobody knew where the hell she could've ran off to until Chibs told us what happened. We were all thinking she got kidnapped, but she just went to advance her fighting and get an epic experience in the underground world. I knew why she didn't tell me too. I would've did everything to keep her here and would've guilt-tripped her into staying. It would've broke her heart too. Fighting was something I knew she was passionate about. Happy should've gotten her signed to UFC or something.

When she was hanging at the bar with the VP chewing her ear off about those darling whores of hers, I remembered what I had stowed away in my room and I asked Bobby to take her with him on his audition to give me some time to clean up.

In my room was a raven-haired woman who I've been keeping around since Talia left. I didn't know her name and I probably never asked. I've kept her around for so long because I could do _everything_ to her. I could let out the darker side of myself that became more untamed in Talia's absence. She was all for it too, all the roughness and brutality without being scared. I'd usually give her a little dope for being a good little whore, Oxy or Coke, whatever I could get my hands on. That shit was coming to a stop today, her and all the other gashes, because my Talia was back.

Somewhere in between me telling the gash to get the fuck out, trying to make sure none of her shit was still in here, she asking if I had anymore drugs and me slapping for her giving me lip, she ended up on her knees between my legs and my hand was clamped over her throat. Her cheek was still red from when I hit her and that just made me want to hit her again, so I did. The impact made my dick pop out of her mouth, but I stuffed it right back down when she yelped at the pain. I could feel my cock sliding down her gullet and I squeezed, cutting off more of the tiny bit of air she managed to take in. I could make her black out if I wanted to and I've done it before. There was nothing stopping me from doing it again because she liked that shit.

It went across my mind about what I was doing, cheating on Talia on her _first_ day back. She was gone for so long and I reverted back into my bachelor lifestyle. 3 girls every night and enough alcohol in my system to turn my liver into a shriveled mess. I was coping with being alone, _abandoned_ by someone I loved. It was just like when I came home to find that bitch had packed up and left with my daughters. I wasn't the best father to them, but I loved those girls with everything I had and their cunt of a mother took them away from me like I didn't deserve them. I felt like Talia left because she wanted to get away from me...that she finally realized she should be scared of me.

Maybe it was me being insecure, but I had a feeling that Talia cheated on me while she was up in Russia. Anyone with working eyes could see that my girl was one hot piece, but she was _mine_ and she was still _mine_ when she was away. I'd never want to think Talia was a cheater, but almost 4 years without a man had to have her at her sexual peak. Women though, they're sneaky little minxes and their feminine wiles can seduce a man to do damn near anything, just like how this gash had my dick down her throat before I knew it. With Talia liking women though, we came to an agreement that she could play with whatever chick caught her attention, so I had no doubt that she was with another _girl_ on her leave.

I came out of my thoughts and grabbed the woman's dark locks, roughly thrusting into her mouth. A few more strokes and I was balls deep in her mouth, releasing my cum down her throat. I could feel her swallowing it too and I yanked her off me when I was finished, sitting on my bed with a cloud of regret over my head. What the hell was I doing? Talia was back, why wasn't I with _her_ _?_ Breaking a bad habit...that was it. I was flushing it out of my system, being with these random women.

I was catching my breath when I looked at the gash and I could see the ring around her neck from when I choked her. She was smiling at me and I pulled my pants back up. That's another thing that kept me hooked on this one, she didn't talk much and that slip up earlier was the first time. I grabbed her clothes from around my room and threw them at her, prompting her to get dressed. I poked my head out of the door and listened, nothing. Clay already told me he was going to cut me some slack to spend time with my lady, so I wasn't upset about being left out.

I grabbed the woman's arm and hauled her out of the clubhouse, her pumps clacking behind me. I stopped her when we got to the gate and had the most humorless death stare I could muster.

 **"I don't wanna see you around here again and if I do, I'll snap your fucking neck."** I waited for her to answer me or to at least fucking nod, but she didn't and I was a second away from hitting her again when I remembered another addictive detail. **"Speak."**

 **"I'll be waiting for your call, baby."** She answered instantly. **"Anytime, anywhere."**

She winked and strutted off, leaving me to watch her swaying ass that was barely covered by her black micro-miniskirt. I blew out a breath of irritation and pulled out my phone, dialing Clay to see where the hell everyone ran off to. When he picked up, I could hear Jax yelling, some other woman and Happy's raspy laughter. It sounded like they were driving somewhere too.

 **"Is everything alright?"**

 ** _"Yeah, just picked up a delivery for Tal. Princess Lardass ate the whole box of Twinkies in 20 seconds and she's freaking out now. We're about to drop her off."_** I cringed away from the phone when Jax started snapping at the girl, something about going whale hunting, with the heavy load huskily bellowing back, then a muffled scream was added to the mix. _**"Jax is havin' a hard time saying goodbye to his friend and the egg Happy's been sittin' on just cracked. Chibs is up at Talia's cathouse and she's with Bobby and Sack in**_ ** _Salinas. Everyone should be back at the clubhouse by tonight."_**

 **"Alright, call me if shit goes sideways."** I flipped my phone shut and locked up the clubhouse before mounting my bike.

I drove to Talia's house and braced myself for the horrors that were behind the door. When she left, Happy was moved out and he handed the keys over to me because he knew I was banging his little girl. I'll never forget the day he almost beat me to death when he found out about us. I had to explain though a headlock that I wasn't using her and Gemma had to confirm I was telling the truth for him to ease up. He kept it short and simple, fuck Talia over and he'll kill me.

I pushed the door open and clamped my hand over my nose to prevent smelling _everything_ we did in this house. It was like a frat boy party raged though here on Spring Break. This was basically our second clubhouse and the shit we've done in here was pretty wild. I couldn't even remember half of it because I was either high as a kite, drunk into oblivion or buried too deep in some gash to care about anything else. Talia's room has been locked since she left though and I was the only one who went in there.

Sometimes, I'd just miss her so much and needed to be around something that reminded me of her. I'd sleep in her bed and remembered how sweet she always smelled, how she was softer than any velvet I've ever felt. I basked in the pictures she had of us tucked in a box in her closet and remembered what we did in every shot, adored how euphoric she looked. I even found a photo album of she and Happy. I've never seen the Nomad smile so much.

I was shuffling though the mass hordes of garbage and everything else when I got to the middle of the living room. I was looking into the dirty kitchen with filthy dishes overflowing in the sink, on the counters and the table, when I noticed the huge fuzzball of red and white coming in through the dog door I installed.

 **"C'mere, beautiful!"** I pat my legs and Rouge happily barked before dashing full sprint into my arms. I caught her and fell back on the couch with her tail happily patting my leg. **"Mama's back, honey. You wanna see her, right?"**

Rouge licked me and her tongue almost went up my nose, making me laugh. I loved this dog. She sometimes reminded me of Missy...

When Talia left, Rouge was just growing out of her puppy days and she's gotten bigger now. I had her on a pretty strict meat diet, but I think Juice gave her steroids or something. In our desperation to bring in some cash for the Club, we were doing whatever we could to scrape up some cash and she came into the picture. I refused to turn her into a 'breeding bitch' as Jax said and I kicked his ass over that. Instead, we sold about 10 Buffy and Fang's kids and that got us through a few months.

I looked around the room again and it looked like a goddamn junkyard. There was no way I could clean this place up by myself, so I did the next best thing. I called a couple wetbacks and got them to do it for me. America was such a beautiful place. The cleaning service was done not too long after they were called and they didn't get scared off when they a dead critter or 2 hiding under the clutter. The house was spotless now, the smell of a lemon cleaner in the air. Rouge was sneezing, so I lit a few candles and opened some windows to let the place air out.

It was going on 9 now and I knew everyone had to be at the clubhouse by now. I went into Happy's old room, that I transformed into my own, and got out a new set of clothes to wear, hopping in the shower. My girl was back and I was going to have her to myself tonight.

 **X~Talia~X**

The girls were blurs as they pranced around the house to get ready for tonight. Half-Sack was waiting at the staircase and all the girls would smile at him before running off to finish getting gussied up. I was running around half naked too, trying to get myself ready and help the girls with whatever they asked me for which was usually to zip them up or correct their makeup. I felt like a fashion designer at a show.

Tonight, I was wearing a leather skirt with an asymmetrical zipper and knee-high lace up boots. I was debating on what shirt to wear and the girls decided on a black open-shoulder top with a white Sugar Skull printed in the middle. Their attire ranged from miniskirts, half shirts, tight dresses with cutouts that exposed everything except their breast and asses, fuck-me-boots and platform heels; they all smelled like lovely perfume. They looked classy, but sultry and that was the image we were going for.

I went into my office and went through the desk. There were numbers for a gynecologist and doctor that must be on Rostislav's payroll. I'd have to call and thank him for all this. I noticed a little box on my desk too and upon opening it, I saw a bunch of colored collars with bows on the front and a small gold ring hanging from it. On the ring was a heart tag and a name inscribed in elegant cursive.

I walked out of my office and locked the door, meeting Half-Sack at the bottom of the stairs.

 **"C'mon, girls! Fridays night's payday!"** I called and I started hearing their chirping get closer as they came. They all were lined in a row and were beaming, some even holding hands. There was some kind of sisterhood bond here, I could feel it. I opened the box and took the first collar out, looking at the tag. **"Okay, first up...** ** **Dinah**?"**

 **"Yes, ma'am."** A teal-eyed, copper redhead stepped out from the line and bat her thick lashes at me. I dawned her collar and went through the same process 16 more times, getting the names to match the faces of each girl. I noticed that most of them picked names after fairy tale cats or stripper names.

Electra, my grey-eyed little chocolate drop who just so happened to be Bobby's favorite, was the one who gave me the keys to the black stretch Escalade that was parked in the garage and the girls piled in the passenger seats, pulling Half-Sack in with them. I could hear them giggling and purring at him while Callie was in the front giving me directions to where the girls usually prowled. I asked about means of protection and after she showed me birth control, morning after pill, a diaphragm _and_ condoms, she showed me the pink Ruger .380 pistol she had tucked away in her purse. She said all the girls had one and knew how to use them, but they haven't had to shoot someone yet. She got out with the rest of the girls who were working the street tonight and I drove us to the clubhouse.

Half-Sack was covered in kiss marks and had Dixie tucked under his arm. The strawberry blonde had him hooked Along with she and Electra, Cleo, Luna, Tammi and Paris were fans of the boys and when we stepped inside the lively clubhouse, they all split off to find their guys. As I made my way though the crowds, I said hi to some old faces and I got a few welcome back shots along the way. I went to the bar and leaned on it, basking in the place I called a home.

 **"How much do you charge, pussycat?"** A gruff voice scraped in my ear and I felt the man pressing against my ass. I grabbed his hand and twisted it almost to the point of breaking, but pinned it on the bar top. I would've unsheathed my knife and staked it right though this asshole's wrist, but I saw his face.

 **"Don't do that, Tig!"** I scolded and let him go, seeing him smile though the mild pain.

I had my arms wrapped around him before he stood up straight and he stumbled back a bit, laughing in my ear. I missed hearing it, missed feeling his chest pressed against mine with his strong arms wrapped around me. I missed how he smelled, sage and lemongrass fighting with cigarettes and alcohol. Hell, I missed everything that was Tig Trager.

When I pulled back, I barely saw the blue of his eyes before my back was pushed against a beam and Tig was reclaiming my lips in a passionate kiss, taking the breath out of me. His hands traveled down my sides until they grabbed my hips and hosted me up, settling between my legs. He pulled my legs around him and I could feel the cold metal of his belt buckle pressing against the crotch of my dark-violet tanga panties.

 **"I missed you, baby."** He muttered against my lips and I took his bottom one between my teeth, making him growl.

 **"I missed you too."**

His hands went under my skirt and hooked under my panties while his tongue was in my mouth, driving me mad. I started to hear a few flirty whistles and I'd usually ignore them, but I knew they were directed at us. I pulled back from Tig and he groaned, trying to kiss me again. I turned to my left and some of the boys were there with their arms around my girls. Happy, Bobby and Clay were missing from the bunch, but Chibs, Jax and Juice were hooting or catcalling at us.

 **"Take it to your room, lovebirds!"** Chibs slurred, a bottle of dark liquor clutched in his hand with his other on Cleo's ass.

Tig didn't put me down and we got more catcalls when he carried me though the bar to the back where the dorms were. My fingers were laced in his hair and he was walking us to his or my room. I didn't really care which one we got to first. Hell, we could have sex right in this goddamn hallway for all I care. Tig pushed me up against a door and we were frantic in our eager kisses, nipping each others lips in between. I felt his hands in his pockets and his knuckles brushed against my wet core, making me break our kiss to moan.

 **"Fuck, I missed hearing that."** He breathed against my neck, growling partially in frustration as he continued searching for his room's key and partially because he liked me nibbling on his ear.

I was trying to rub against him or his belt to get some kind of relief and he dipped one finger in my panties, toying with my wet sex. He was teasing me and I was desperately writhing, whimpering in his ear. I relished in the sound of his keys jingling and the lock clicking. He took 2 long steps and kicked the door shut to muffle the commotion from the bar before dropping us on the bed.

My legs were still wrapped around his waist and refused to let go while I was tugging at his cut. He leaned up and shrugged it off, doing the same with his shirt. He unzipped the zipper on my skirt and it opened, revealing my drenched underwear. I sat up and pulled my shirt off to bare my matching bra and Tig was bluntly staring at my chest. I thought he was going to start bantering about my ribs, but he wasn't looking at the bandage and he didn't look concerned or upset. With my training and growing up, I guess, I happily graduated from B to C-cups and I'm glad be noticed.

Tig pulled me in his lap and his mouth was all over my chest, kissing and sucking red love marks all over them. I felt his hand unclasp my bra and I took it off, throwing it behind us. Tig pulled back to admire the new skin and I heard a low groan come from him before his mouth was on one nipple while his hand was kneading the other. I was back to a squirming mess in his hands and I started to unzip my boots, but he took both my wrists in one hand and pinned them behind my back, making me helpless to his divine torture.

Once I was _begging_ him to fuck me, he took his boots and pants off, still not allowing me to take mine off. While he was getting out of his clothes, I pulled my underwear off and sling-shotted them at his head, landing them right on top. He turned around with the lacy material hanging between his teeth and a devilish grin on his lips, but he saw my legs spread wide for him, my pussy glistening with my juices. My underwear fell from his mouth and before I knew it, he was in me just as deep as I needed him to be. My fingers couldn't even reach the intense spot he hit and they couldn't give me the full feeling of his thick cock.

Almost 4 years without sex, with a _man_ , must've made me as tight as a goddamn virgin, but I didn't want him to be gentle. I wanted a long overdue, hard **_fucking_ ** and I knew he'd give it to me. Tig started off at a mild pace to let me get used to him again and I didn't have to say anything because he was plowing into me like there was nothing else he was good at. My nails were raking down his back and his teeth were latched onto my neck, our moans almost louder than the blaring classic rock coming from the bar. I could hear the mattress squeaking under me and I went to wrap one leg around his waist, but it ended up over his shoulder. I wasn't complaining though because he was even deeper and I was on fire, ignited from the inside out.

Tig released the tender skin of my neck to kiss me again and his tongue instantly gained control over mine, making me moan at how assertive he was. It was delicious and when I felt his finger rubbing at my clit, I lost it. I was writhing as my first orgasm from something other than my fingers ripped though me like scissors though paper and Tig was still fiercely pumping into me, making electricity spark though my entire body. I could barely understand what I was damn near screaming, but he wasn't stopping and I never wanted him to. I wanted him to fuck me into oblivion and never let me come back.

Tig's thrusts started getting faster and I opened my eyes. He put his forehead on mine, his blue eyes drenched in deep desire.

 **"I love you."** I panted, trying to keep my eyes open and on him. **"Fuck, I love you, Alex."**

 **"Again."** He growled and a sharp smack on my thigh followed, making me cry out in complete ecstasy. The spot where his hand came down on my skin was stinging in the best way now. **"Say it again."**

 **"I love you, Alex. I love you so fucking much."**

Tig crashed his lips on mine again and I didn't know how much more I could take of him, but I still wanted all he could give me even if it sent me into insanity. I missed him, I wanted everyone to know I was his, I wanted all of him. I felt my second wave of bliss about to burst and bellowed with him, coiling around Tig when he bottomed out inside me, his balls threatening to delve inside my slick core as I felt his hot cum inside me. I took it all, clenching around him to avoid wasting even one drop.

Both of us were sweating and panting, our bodies periodically twitching. Tig slumped against me and wrapped his arms around me, my fingers in his hair to keep him right where he was.

 **"I love you too, angel."** He kissed my neck and rolled us over so that I was laying on him.

His arms were still tightly wound around me and my head was on his chest, listening to his heartbeat start to calm. I felt him rubbing my back and I don't know if he couldn't feel the bandages or if he just didn't care, but I didn't care either. I felt his lips on my head and his mumbled I love you's were getting quieter as he started to fall asleep.

I had my Tiggy back and I wasn't going to leave him again.


	9. Chapter 9

**X~Tig~X**

The sun filtered into my room from the small window and coated my dorm in a heavenly glow. I could see the little dust flurries floating inside the sunlight and they looked like tiny fairies. I noticed how much of a pansy I turn into when she's around and the guys would never let me live it down if they heard me talking like this. Either way, today was a beautiful morning and I've been up for about 20 minutes just holding Talia close to me. I was awakened by a vicious case of morning wood, but I've been doing my damnedest to ignore it and I had to slide her off me to prevent fucking her while she was sleeping. That'd be a bit overboard, even for me.

I managed to take her boots off without waking her and I was looking down at her now, basking in her still form. She was always so warm and for some reason that was totally illogical, she was the softest thing my fingers have ever felt. It was almost suspicious how silky every part of her was. I vowed to memorize every new curve of her body and cherish every part of her.

I didn't hear anything from outside of the door yet, so everyone was still passed out around the bar. Clay might be up or he might've gone home to his Old Lady late last night. I admired he and Gemma, so in love with one another. John was a pretty good man to Gemma and I knew they were in love, but there was something else that was so vibrant about her since she's been with Clay. He was her rock and he's been a good father figure to the little prince.

I often pictured how the Crow would look on Talia and more specifically, where it would be stamped on her. Too many parts of her body were my favorites, but I think I was just being picky because that tattoo wasn't the prettiest thing in the world. I'd be fine with her getting my name instead, but I think that bird would look perfect sitting on that delicious ass of hers though. I loved and cherished every inch of her body, but I couldn't keep my hands off her ass for a day. That'd be fine with me so long as another chick was inking her up. I couldn't have another man pawing at her ass, it was _mine.  
_

I've never asked Talia to get the Crow, but I've been wanting to for ages now. We've been together for a long time and I considered her my Old Lady. I've called her that when she wouldn't notice. I'd sometimes mutter it in her ear while she was sleeping, doing it seconds before she'd wake up to see if she heard me. She never did though. When she'd be drunk out of her mind and I was taking her to bed, I'd call her that while she was laughing at her own intoxicated mind. The boys would too, but like me, never when she'd notice.

For some reason, I was afraid to tell her at a time where she could remember it because I feared the worst outcome. I always reverted to pessimistic thoughts with her and they made me second-guess every single choice. It took an arm and a leg for me to tell her I loved her, but she said it first and that made it a little easier. I knew I loved her from the first time we had sex and I said it, but I didn't really mean it until afterwards. If she decided she wanted to leave me and the Club for a normal life, there wouldn't be another woman to replace her and I sure as hell wouldn't go looking for one. Nobody could replace my little angel. She was too perfect for comparison. We were practically married.

Talia stirred a bit and I knew she was going to be up in a second. I was waiting until she nuzzled into me and when she did, I kissed her head. I put my lips to her ear and was trying not to smile, but I couldn't help it.

 ** _"_** _ **When I'm around you, I'm predictable**_  
 ** _'Cause I believe in loving you with first sight_**  
 ** _I know it's crazy, but I'm hoping to...t_** ** _o take a hold of you_** ** _"_**

 **"Oh my God."** She mumbled into my chest and I could feel her smiling. She looked up at me for a split second, then hid her face from me and I nudged her with my nose to make her peek at me again.

 _ **"Oh, you're everything I'm wanting**_  
 ** _Come to think of it, I'm aching_**  
 ** _And on account of my transgression, w_** ** _ill you welcome this confession?_**

 _ **Could this be out of line? Could this be out of line?**_  
 _ **To say you're the only one breaking me down like this**_  
 _ **You're the only one I would take a shot on**_  
 _ **Keep me hanging on so contagiously"**_

Talia started laughing and it made my heart melt. It was the sweetest, most darling thing I ever heard and it was rich with happiness.

When she was a teenager, she'd put her headphones over my ears and tell me to listen to the music she liked. We'd spend hours in her room to feel the music, figure out the message because she was that kind of music lover. She was mainly into Three Days Grace, Nirvana, Green Day and a dash of Slayer. I was pretty cool with them, then she started showing me all the new-age music she liked. Most of that shit made me want to slit my throat, crawl into a hole and bleed out, but some of the tunes stuck with me and I'd horribly sing little bits and pieces in her ear. She'd always say she liked hearing me sing, but I wasn't blessed with beautiful vocal cords like she was and I had to sound like a cat getting bathed in acid.

 **"Good morning, angel."** I muttered into her hair, kissing her locks. Her hair was always silky too. Good God, the woman could replace satin sheets.

 **"Morning, love."** Her soft voice buzzed in her chest and through to mine. Her hand slid from my shoulder, down my arm and our fingers fluttered against each other before they intertwined. **"...I missed you, Tiggy."**

 **"I missed you too."**

 **"I didn't think you'd still want me...that you'd wait."** She muttered with a humorless laugh and I tried to look at her, but she turned her head into my chest. **"I mean, 4 years? I just up and left you without a word and you probably hate me for that...I was expecting you to move on, have someone replace me..."**

 **"Hey..."** I sunk down a bit to be leveled with her and locked eyes with her. I could see the pain in her eyes and I was praying she wouldn't cry. I only saw it once, but it broke my heart and I never wanted to see her so sad again. **"Nobody's gonna replace you, baby, and I don't hate you for leaving. I don't think I can love anything as much as I love you. You're here now, we're together and nothing's gonna separate us again. I gotta take care of some stuff with the Club, but we're gonna spend tonight together. We'll get some movies, order out and just have a nice night in."**

I brought our laced hands up to my lips and kissed her smaller mitt to seal my promise, gazing into those newly awakened eyes that looked like the calm waves of the Caribbean. Those heavenly orbs were probably the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

My eyes traveled down to her neck and rested on the necklace I gave her, my way of temporary marking her as mine until I brought up the tattoo. It was still shining like she polished it every hour and I wouldn't be surprised if she did. Judging from the lighter skin that was taking the shape of the charms, she didn't take it off a lot or probably at all. She said she wouldn't.

I felt her feather-light kisses on my chest and they traveled up, only stopping to give me a kitten nip on the jaw.

 **"Tal."** I tried to add a warning tone to my voice. I had a good feeling where this was going and she hummed in response, confirming my theory.

She straddled me and the way her eyes lightened with the sunlight almost made her look like a completely different person. She kissed my ear and nipped the lobe, catching my hands before I could grab her hips. I knew what that meant and I put my hands up in surrender, layering them under my head. Talia smirked and started trailing her delicate kisses down my chest, flicking her tongue over my nipple that made my dick jump in excitement. She was going to make me cream myself before she even did anything.

Her lips went down the center of my chest and followed the line of my dark pubic hair, giving a patch a little tug. She giggled when I bucked up, but she held my hips down. I felt her hand grip me and I sighed at the contact of her smooth palm, her thumb rubbing at the head. I started to sit up on my elbows to watch her, but her hand went to my chest and pushed me back down. I felt her tongue at the junction between my balls and my girth and she licked up to the tip, repeating the action 3 more times. I felt her soft lips wrap around the head and her tongue was swirling around it, dipping into the hole that was already oozing with pre-cum.

Then, my heart almost imploded and I had to sit up when she easily took me in all the way, my cock smoothly gliding down her throat. She didn't choke or gag or even try to stifle a cough.

Talia was looking at me through her thick lashes as she kept me down and I groaned when she came up, her taut cheeks making her warm mouth resemble a tight pussy. She let a quarter of me out of her before she went back down and I could feel her tongue gliding under the base, licking at the top of my balls. My God, this girl knew what she was doing. Instinctively, my hand went to her hair to keep it out of her beautiful face as she started bobbing her head and stroking me, looking like the sexiest thing I've ever seen. When I felt her moan around me, I could've creamed right then and there.

I could die right now with no regrets, having this angel with her lips wrapped around my dick being the last thing I ever saw. She was the only woman who could make damn near _everything_ she did beautiful. The way she walked with those smooth legs, the way her honey-coated voice would sound when she talked and that smile, that gorgeous fucking smile that I couldn't live without, had me addicted to her, to _my_ Talia.

 **"You're such a good girl, baby."** I praised with a moan and Talia hummed again, making me groan louder. **"Fuck, Tal."**

My hands were clenching balls of the blanket and my head was lolled backwards, appreciative moans falling from my lips. I was tingling from my head to my toes and I started feeling a numbness come over my cock that Talia was still expertly sucking, feeling the constriction her compressed cheeks made. Jesus, I bet this girl could suck a goddamn tennis ball through a garden hose if she got the chance. I could feel my balls tightening as they prepared for release and I was desperately waiting to get to that liberation. I never lasted long when she went down on me, it was impossible.

When I felt my balls twitch, my hands went to her hair and made her suck me just a little faster. She started doing it on her own and I cursed before I started creaming inside her mouth. She took me all the way in again and I was sporadically thrusting as she milked every drop that came out of me, her eyes never leaving mine. Panting, I watched Talia slide me out of her mouth _very slowly_ with a wet pop and I couldn't take it anymore. She was going to be the death of me. I couldn't even kiss her because I fell on my back and tried to remember the feeling below my waist.

I don't know if a few minutes passed or if I fell asleep, but the darkness cleared and I had control of myself again. I looked down at Talia and her cheek was resting on my thigh, her fingers ever-so-lightly running up and down my hardening member. She kinda looked like a cat then, a sneaky and sexy look in her powerful, yet lazy demeanor. Her kisses started their trail again and she made her way up to me, straddling me. I grabbed her face and forced my tongue in her mouth before she could even try to part her lips for me. I could taste myself on her and that just made me want her more.

 **"Ride me, angel."** I instructed with a pat on her ass, _my_ ass, and another delicate purr fell from her lips.

Talia wasted no time in positioning herself over my very excited cock and I moaned with her as she lowered herself, watching her slit devour every inch of me like her mouth did before. But oh, how I could feel the difference. Her velvety walls were already drenched and her juices were better than any lube I've ever used. She probably figured it out because I never told her, something with me liking to be dominant, but I _loved_ when she rode me. I could enjoy watching her bouncing on me and have more time to focus on pleasing her while she did.

Talia started jouncing and it was in a perfect rhythm. It wasn't too hard or fast, but it wasn't slow and tepid because neither of us fancied that ungodly speed. We weren't that bed-of-roses-with-lit-candles type of lovers. That stuff was banal, the build-up was monotonous and when we tried that gushy crap, we both ended up falling asleep because we were so overcome with torpor. Now, we weren't both sadomasochists who were into BDSM dungeons and that kind of dark shit either. To each his own, but we didn't run with that crowd. We both liked unplanned, moderately rough sex.

I was on my back again and basking in the divine nymph that was on top of me, her breast bouncing as she did. Her hands were on my chest and slightly scratching, but I was more focused on how she looked. I could practically feel her buzzing with desire and her harmonious cries of pleasure were telling me just how much she was enjoying herself because I was enjoying it too, drugged by the euphoric feeling that only she could provide.

 **"That's it, baby."** I groaned, my hands going to her magical hips as my eyes closed and retreated to the back of my head. **"Just like that."**

I decided it was time to pitch in on her contentment. I sat up and my face was buried in her breasts, greedily sucking at her salmon teat and feeling her arch into me as she panted moans. She came to an abrupt stop and her hand was in my hair to keep me focused on where she wanted me, her pleased purrs encouragement to stay right where I was. I glanced up at her and smirked when I saw her mouth parted, but her eyes closed. They snapped open when my palm met the bare skin of her ass in a sharp smack, a surprised yelp slipping out.

 **"Who told you to stop?"**

 **"Tig-"** She gasped and another squeak came out of her when she got spanked again, her head resting on my shoulder as she shuddered. I was starting to like doing that because she'd convulse around me and the feeling was superb.

 **"Get moving."** I cockily commanded.

 **"Make me."** She challenged and I knew she was smiling because I was too. The woman was ballsy.

As much as I didn't want to, I pulled Talia off me and I didn't fail to notice the confused look of disappointment on on her face. That quickly changed when I had her on her hands and knees, ass in the air with her face buried into the covers. She turned her head to the side to look back at me and I saw her hands clench the blankets when I was in her again. There was no build-up pace, I just went in hard and fast just to hear her moaning again, her ass curling up to meet each stroke. One hands was squeezing her ass and leaving a red mark while the other was under her stomach to toy with her and I was lost in the sounds she was making, the desperation being replaced with satisfaction after every pound of her hilt.

Sensing my second orgasm of the morning or afternoon, whatever the hell time it was, I felt her nearing her peak too and I pressed my chest on her tattooed back. My arms were planted on either side of her hands and I put my bigger hand over hers, feeling her squeeze our intertwined fingers as soon as they locked together. Barely 2 strokes after, we were both moaning each others names and were a pile of limp bodies twitching after draining the life out of one another.

When I settled down, the lovey-lovey feeling washed over me and I was cuddling Talia again, playfully kissing her to hear her sweet giggles. I had her wrapped in my arms and trapped to my chest. Her arms were locked around my neck while her fingers were in my hair and softly massaging my scalp. I loved when she had her fingers in my hair. This is exactly where she belonged, with me. I could just gaze at her and be the happiest man on Earth. I didn't have to tell her I loved her, though I did anyway, because I'm sure I was smothering her with affection and she could feel my adoration for her.

 **"You're so beautiful."** I muttered into her collar, smiling when she giggled and laughing when she squealed after I nipped her.

 **"Tig!"**

 **"I love you."**

 **"I'd love a pizza right now."** I pulled back and looked at her, eyebrow cocked. She trailed her finger around my chin and traced my bottom lip. **"Make yourself useful and go make me a sandwich."**

She tapped my nose and I almost scoffed at her stereotypical male tone. We stared at each other then. To others, we probably looked like we were about to fucking kill each other, but this was one of our things. Talia's laughter broke the 'serious' moment because I started ticking her and asking her who the hell she thought she was trying to boss me around. I had mercy on her though and took some of the pillows from the head of the bed to bring them to the foot. We got comfortable again and I hoped this is how the rest of the day could be, just laying around naked with her.

 **"Tig, you up?"** I heard the Prospect knock on my door, but I didn't take my eyes off Talia when I pulled the blanket up to cover her. Of course, I couldn't get to paradise that easily.

 **"Yeah."**

 **"Have you seen the- whoa, sorry!"** I heard the door open and he must've halfway closed it upon seeing us, my suspicion confirmed when I tore my eyes from Talia. He was partially shielding his eyes from us with the door, but I saw the glances he'd peek at my girl. She didn't seem to care because she threw her leg over my waist and was kissing my cheek, obviously trying to get my full attention back on her. **"Should I go? I mean, it looks like you guys are busy and I don't wanna interrupt any-"**

 **"Cool it, kid. We just finished. What do you want?"**

 **"Uh, the women out here are asking for Talia. They said she's got the keys to the car and it's about time to pickup last night's rounds."**

 **"Wanna do me a favor, cutie?"** Talia asked, her voice as soft as silk, and she turned on her stomach to look at him, a smile on her lips that made Half-Sack's jaw drop, but he nodded. Kid probably had a stiffy, but I couldn't be sure because of the door. **"Tig's cut, it's on the dresser. The keys are in his pocket."**

She stretched with a yawn and pointed to the dresser for Half-Sack. He almost looked scared to step inside my dorm, which was understandable because he didn't want to disrespect a patched member, but I nodded and he went to the dresser to do as she instructed. I leaned up to the head of the bed and reached for the pack of smokes and lighter on my nightstand, lighting one. I curled my free arm around Talia and she leaned her head on my shoulder. I didn't notice when she slipped something in my cut last night, but Half-Sack pulled her keys out and ever-so-gently set my cut back where he found it, turning to Talia for further guidance. He was still trying not to look at her, but he kinda had to.

 **"Electra's my little Hershey Kiss. She's probably in Bobby's room or he's between her legs on a pool table. Either way, she'll tell you where the girls are for pickup. There should be 6 Kittens here and 11 on the street. Make sure they're all accounted for and you get a free blow from uh...Dixie, deal?"** He nodded and she smiled at him before he left, leaving the door wide open.

 **"Close the door, asshole!"** I called and he zipped back, apologizing and shutting the door. I sat up again and flicked the ashes of my cigarette in a tray, swinging my legs off the edge of the bed. I felt Talia behind me and her hands on my shoulders.

 **"I'm gonna run us a shower."** She kissed me on the cheek and got out of bed in all her naked beauty. Tempted, I managed to smack her ass again, not anywhere as hard as before, and that made her laugh before she disappeared into the connecting bathroom.

I noticed the patch of dressing on her side too and I didn't like the fact that she got hurt, but I'd nag her about it later. She didn't seem discomforted by it anyway. When she was out of my eyesight, I started to think about that gash I had hooked on me since she left. The woman hasn't come back around the clubhouse, but she's been keeping my Burner buzzing with invitations to come see her and sending pictures to add to the temptation. Now that my Old Lady was home and we've been together, I wasn't interested or aroused by any other woman and I've been ignoring those texts. I'd have to get a new Burner soon.

I thought about coming clean to Talia, just telling her I fucked up, and the fact that I picked _that_ song out of the millions of tunes I've ever heard had to be some kind of sign to admit my mistake. The guilt from tainting our relationship was always buzzing in my head and I couldn't push it out no matter what I did. It would only stop if I told her...but I couldn't, not right now. She was home and happy with her family, probably had some crazy stoner adventure planned with Juice. She'd go visit her Mom's grave in Fresno when she had the time, give her some flowers and talk to her. She's taken me to the cemetery, introduced us and told me everything about Juliana Blaire Langdon to the point where I felt like I knew her Mother for years. I asked Happy where her Dad was buried and he said the cops never found his body.

This gash though, something was telling me that bitch was going to pop up at the wrong time and start blabbing. As sexy as it was seeing a catfight, I did not want Talia fighting anytime soon because she was supposed to be relaxing and she didn't need any stress or bullshit while she was healing. Once Chibs gave the green light on her condition, she could beat that bitch's face in, but not until then.

I stopped thinking about it and remembered what was waiting for me in the bathroom. Now, I was planning round 3 in the shower because I owed her one.

* * *

 **Bam! Back-to-back,** ** _reunited and it feels so good,_** **smuttay goodness. You guys love me, right? ;)  
I usually don't write so much smut, but this is SOA and they're a very intimate bunch.  
There's drama coming though. Could it be Tig's leftover, a blast from the past or a pissed off crime lord? ****  
Juice and Talia bro/sis fluff coming up too. Stay tuned :3  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**X~Talia~X**

I was up worrying all night.

Tig said we were going to have a nice night in just to spend time with one another, but he didn't come home and he wasn't in bed this morning either. No call, no text, no note on the door. No contact all night was never a good sign and I was thinking of all the worst possible outcomes. I knew going to the clubhouse wouldn't be a good idea because nobody answered when I called and I thought about phoning Gem to see if she knew what the hell was going on, but I doubted she'd know. This is why I hated being in the dark about what the boys were up to. Something could go wrong and they'd need my help, but I wouldn't know where the hell they were!

I managed to go to sleep and having Rouge curled up next to me put me at ease for a bit. She obviously missed me and I got to see Buffy and Fang's big family in the basement too. Half-Sack was knocking on my door this morning and he said he was assigned to watch me last night, but as much as I prodded, he didn't tell me anything about what the Sons did. Someone told him to keep his mouth shut. At least he was loyal. Something happened last night and thanks to Chibs' child blocking, the guys probably wouldn't tell me anything either.

Half-Sack drove me to the Den this morning and Marco and David had everything running smoothly. I loved being my own boss. I had the choice of coming to work whenever I wanted because my business practically ran itself. Since the Den was closed on Sundays and Mondays, I'd probably take the Kittens out on a little Girl's Day, get some new clothes and maybe go out to lunch. If Gemma could stand them for a few hours, I'd love for her to join us.

We just got to TM and I spotted Gemma when Sack pulled in, so I asked her if she'd want me to man the office for her. She got one look at me, or more of what I was wearing, and smirked. Under my cut was a rosy brown off-shoulder top, black combat boots and high-waisted denim shorts. They were very frayed and my right front pocket was cover with a leopard patch. She said she could use a little vacation and told me not to cause too much trouble before she gave me a peck on the cheek.

I really did want to give her a break, but I wanted to stick around the garage to possibly pickup on what the hell happened last night and if snooping didn't work, I was going to pry the info out of Juice. He was as loyal to the Club as I was, but he couldn't keep a secret from me if his life was on the line.

I sat behind the desk and saw that Gem was working on some service forms. I sat down and slid my cut on the chair to get some relief from the insane California heat. I wasn't used to it yet and the office didn't have an AC to cool me off. I started where Gem left of, finishing the rest of the blue stacks of paper. After about 20 minutes of writing, going though the filing cabinets and getting information off the computer, I heard the door open and looked up to see Juice looking at the key rack on the wall. There was a woman waiting at the door and she looked a few years younger than me, probably a college kid. She was drooling over Juice though.

 **"What are you looking for?"** I asked, finishing a check-in report on a Ford Fusion. **  
**

 **"Keys to a red...Camry?"** He turned to the brunette, clearly confused on what the hell he was trying to find.

 **"Civic."** The woman sweetly corrected and Juice apologized, making her smile.

I went to the key rack and took the keys with a string of cosmetic charms dangling from it, having mercy on Juice because he had no idea what the hell he was doing. I called Long John and asked him to take the woman to her car. I slowly shut the door and leaned on it, trapping Juice in the office. I noticed a small cut on his cheekbone and frowned at it. Usually, any bruises Juice get come from the boys, but this looked like it came from a bullet grazing and that wasn't any better. Maybe that's why he was so scatterbrained today.

Juice got one look at me and before I could ask him anything, he bolted out the other door into the garage. I looked through the blinds and he was already sliding under a Nissan Sentra.

I got back to work and was going though the few cars that were marked to be repossessed. Today, there was an SUV at a place in the Wahewa Reservation that was going to get taken and I just wrote down the address when I heard the door open again. I didn't look up this time because I thought one of the guys was coming to get a customer's keys again, but I felt strong hands starting to rub my bare shoulders in the best way. I didn't stop working and he started kissing my cheek, going down until he got to the crook of my neck.

 **"We're gonna get caught in here, Jax."** I said softly. I laughed when he curtly pulled back and I turned to face Tig. His eyes were playfully narrowed at me and I couldn't stop smiling because I knew I had him going for a second.

 **"Of all your options, you pick** **that little shit?** **"** I nodded and tried to stop smiling, but I couldn't. **"You hate blondes."  
**

 **"You're right. I'd probably go for Chibby. He's got more experience."** That made him scoff and me laugh again.

I suddenly remembered that I wasn't supposed to be nice to him because I was still ticked at him bailing on me yesterday and the seriousness hit me like a brick wall. I turned my back to Tig and set the repo paper aside to start on the repair orders.

 **"I'm sorry about last night** **, baby** **."** Tig said, but I didn't answer and I heard him sigh. I got up and walked over to another file cabinet to get the right folder, giving him the silent treatment _and_ the cold shoulder. I felt his hands on my hips to pull me against him and his head rested against my cheek, his lips peppering my skin in soft kisses. **"I didn't forget about our date. We got tipped off on the NORDS making Meth and dealt with Darby, shit got a little crazy. I'm sorry I didn't home."**

 **"You could've called, sent me a text, shot up a goddamn flare."** I mumbled and scolded myself for sounding like, well, a chick. I wasn't normally so emotional or girly, but it was different when it came to him. **"You were out all night, you didn't check-in and you had Half-Sack watching me. I was worried sick about you, Tig."**

 **"Tal-"** I turned around and saw his eyes soften at the concerned look on my face.

 **"You could've been all the way in Reno with a bullet in your knee and I wouldn't have known. You could've crashed on 75 and been lying unconscious on the side of the road and I wouldn't have known. Jesus, Tig, you could go out there and** ** _die_** **and I wouldn't know unless you tell me** ** _something._** **When you don't come home and I haven't heard** **from** **you in hours, I start to worry."**

 **"I'll check-in more, but you don't need to worry about me, angel. I'm always gonna come back to you, promise."** His soothing voice made me calm down a bit and he took my cheeks in his hands, kissing my head before bringing me into a hug.

Tig tilted my chin up to look at him and promised again. I sighed and closed my eyes, nuzzling into his hand. Staying mad at him was like trying to breathe in space, it was impossible. Those damn eyes were impossible to hate too. I loved them and how intense they'd get when he was around me. It was like a cosmic explosion was happening in front of him and he was mesmerized by it. To say that Tig loved me would be an understatement. The man was madly and deeply attached to me. I was the same with him, couldn't bare to have him leave me. I don't know what I'd do without him and that's why I was so pissed at him. Forget the date, I just needed to know he was okay when we weren't together.

 **"I wanna make it up to you."** Tig said and I opened my eyes. **"Our date, rescheduled for today."**

 **"Really?"** I smiled and he did too. It was then that I noticed he didn't have his mechanic shirt on, just his cut and a blue flannel. **"What are we doing?"**

 **"You'll have to get on my bike and find out."** His eyes were watching his fingers twirl a lock of my hair, but he casually glanced at me and he didn't even smirk.

Curiosity peaked with how spontaneous he was being, I grabbed the repo paper and walked out the door. Tig must've went looking for Clay or Bobby to manage the office because he wasn't following me. I saw Half-Sack handing someone tools under a Ford Escape and he smiled at me when I got close.

 **"Gotta repo for you."** He took the paper and read over it, nodding.

 **"Rat, wanna help me with this?"** My eyebrow quirked when he said what was under there, but nobody responded and Half-Sack hit the hood twice.

The brown-haired Prospect rolled out and sat up. He was about to say something to Half-Sack, but he saw me and greeted me first. He called me 'ma'am' and I felt like an old woman. He and Sack piled in the tow truck and I went to Tig's bike. He was ready to go. He gave me his spare helmet and I got on, wrapping my arms around him.

My chin was on his shoulder as we drove down the long roads. One of the things I loved about riding with Tig was that he didn't go slow or tried to be careful when he had me on the back. He drove at a pretty fast speed, sharply cut corners, drove naturally. Sometimes, he'd let the grips go and control the bike with his body weight. He'd always wildly swerve, so I'd laugh and hang on to him tighter.

I wasn't sure if we were out of Charming, but Tig started slowing down until he came to a stop. He took my helmet off and covered my eyes. He was leading me somewhere and when he finally let me see again, we were in what I guessed was a park. There were Weeping Willow trees decorating the clear landscape and near one was a beautiful lake. Under that one was a plaid blanket with lumbar pillow leaning on the tree, a wicker picnic basket and green bottle were sitting in the middle.

My heart was melting at how dedicated Tig was to spending time with me and I hugged him, laughing when he picked me up. He walked us to the blanket and set me down first.

 **"No Club, no phones, no distractions, just us."** Tig promised with a kiss on my head and I felt him start to tug my cut off, doing the same with his. He took out his phones next and I gave him mine. He turned our mobiles off, tucked them in his cut and folded them, then chucked our Burners in the water. He was serious about this.

He opened the basket and pulled out a container with green grapes and cheese, taking out wine glasses next. Tig grabbed the green bottle and showed it to me. _Les Dauphins Côtes du Rhônes Reserve Blanc_ was on it and I had no idea how to pronounce the name, but I knew it was wine.

 **"Let Dolphins Coat do Ron Reserve Blank."** Tig tried and I laughed.

 **"I never knew you were into this kinda stuff."** I said and he poured us glasses, taking out another pair of containers.

 **"I'm all flowers and chocolates, darlin'."** He smirked. **"I did ask Gem to help me out though. She made everything and let me borrow the basket."**

Tig and I talked about any and everything as we ate, catching up really. He wanted to know everything about my time in Russia and I told him all the details, about how I became friends with some of Rostislav's others pupils. He told me Chibs wouldn't let me start fighting until he was convinced I was healed up, but Half-Sack was going up for some matches soon and I was looking forward to seeing them. I never knew Sack was into fighting. Maybe I could train him.

Gemma made me a chicken salad and Tig looked like he was eating a tuna melt. I'm surprised she didn't make him some of her mouthwatering meatloaf because the man would kill for it. For dessert, we had Chocolate Mousse Brownies and they were delicious. I was definitely asking Gem to make another batch for me. The wine went perfectly with the diced cheese and grapes, but we were shooting them into each others mouths and missed more than we ate.

After our meal, we walked barefoot along the shallow end of the lake and splashed in it a bit. We got back on the blanket and pulled it from under the tree to look at the clouds in the sky. Our legs were up against the trunk as we pointed out what we saw and we saw some very weird things, a 3-headed King Kong cyclops being one of them. My head was on Tig's chest and his arm was curled around me. I had my eyes closed to just enjoy being with him, being close and together like this.

 **"Sweetheart?"** Tig whispered and his arm tightened around me. I hummed in response, feeling very lax and snug. I would've drifted off if he didn't say anything. **"I wanna ask you somethin'. It's been on my mind for a while."**

 **"What is it?"** Tig didn't answer right away and I looked up at him. He was staring up at the elongated greenish-white leaves, but he sat up on his side. He took my hand and held it tight, his eyes soft with something I couldn't pinpoint. **"Tig, you're making me a bit nervous..."**

 **"I love you, Tal...and I want you to get the Crow."** He said smoothly and smiled when I sighed in relief. He let go of my hand and trailed it down my side. His fingers were curled around my hip and his thumb was rubbing the patch of skin inches from it. Thinking about it, that was the spot Happy had his newest batch of smiley face tattoos. **"Right here...I really want you to, but if you don't wanna get it-"**

 **"Tonight."** I cut off his despondent rambling before it got too deep and he laughed, obviously relieved.

Tig hugged me and we were both laughing. Honestly, I've wanted to get that tattoo since we starting dating, but it wasn't in my power to say something about it. He had to make that decision and I'm glad he finally told me because I was starting to get a little nervous about how he felt about me. Tig started playfully nipping at my neck and I was squirming under him, trying to push him off. He was too strong, but I still tried. He kissed me and we were both smiling, but I felt him settle between my legs. His hand was inching up my leg until it got to the button of my shorts and unfastened it.

 **"Out here?"** I managed to ask between our kisses and giggling.

 **"Mhmm."**

 **"What if someone sees us?"**

 **"I'll make them eat their eyeballs."** I giggled and his lips were back on mine, passion starting to overtake the playfulness.

My legs laced around his waist and he pulled his hands from my shorts to trail them under my shirt. I arched up to let him unhook my bra, but I heard someone clear their throat as soon as his fingers were on the latch. I thought it was a park patrolman or something, so I couldn't give a damn if they saw us and Tig didn't stop kissing me either.

 **"We're not going anywhere, guys."** I groaned and let my head drop into the pillow, looking upside-down at Jax and Chibs. The Scot looked at our picnic and nodded in approval while Jax had an eyebrow raised in suspicion. **"Our hardcore Sergeant-At-Arms spends his free time sneaking off with his girlfriend to go on romantic picnic dates by the lake. How aggressive."**

 **"I'm gonna strangle him one day."** Tig said calmly, but he was glaring at a smiling Jax. He rolled off me with an irritated groan and I buttoned my shorts before he helped me up.

 **"We were callin' you, both of you."** Jax started as we walked back to their bikes. **"No answer at home, on the cells or Burners. We started to think you guys were dead or something."**

 **"Must've left mine back at the clubhouse."** Tig lied, smirking at me, and I slipped my cell out of his cut before pulling mine on.

 **"What's your excuse, princess?"**

 **"Don't question me, Jackson."** He threw his hands up in surrender and I felt my phone buzzing. Chibs nodded his head to the left, so I took that as my cue to give them some space while they talked to Tig. **"Hello?"**

 _ **"Madam Talia? It's me, Nalani."**_ I recognized the frantic voice on the other end and her Kitten name was Kaia. She used to be my Hawaiian girl and one of the 3 I sold to Luann. She, Roxy and Gaia were all pretty sad to leave the Den, but more excited to me making kinky videos with the Saffron Sisters.

 **"Hey, darlin'. How's the porn business treating you?"**

 _ **"I want out! Gianni and Yumi do too! Please take us back, Madam Talia! We didn't sign up for this! We're gonna get killed over here!"**_

 **"Calm down, sweetheart. I'll be there in a minute."** I could still hear her going off when I hung up and the guys were ready to go when I got to them. **"Can someone drop me off at Cara Cara?"**

 **"That's where we're headed."** Tig answered and I mounted his bike again.

For the entire ride there, I couldn't get Nalani's voice out of my head. She sounded terrified and I had no idea why she'd be so scared. Luann didn't do any dark, savage kind of porn because brutality wasn't her thing. She had her kinky films for certain fetishes, but nothing extreme that would scare the girls.

What the hell was going on over there?


	11. Chapter 11

**X~Talia~X**

I barely let Tig stop before I was getting off his bike and making my way into the doors of Cara Cara. I saw a few bikes and the van, so more of the Sons were already here. The boys were trying to keep up with me as we went past some sets, but things weren't running like they usually did. There weren't a lot of girls performing and they all looked like a fed just came though here with a warrant. Some of them even looked like they just got out of a fight. What the hell happened in here?

I was still looking for my girls and poking my head in dressing rooms when Jax whistled and I followed him to Luann's office. She had a blonde sitting in a chair with a wad of tissue to her nose. When she saw us, she told the girl to keep her head tilted back and stormed over, clearly pissed off.

 **"You said you were gonna handle it, Jax!"** She snapped. **"Giving him a warning by letting Bobby puke on his security guard wasn't what I had in mind! You've got guns, go over there and shoot him in the face!"**

 **"We can't just go around shooting people, Luann. As soon as bodies start dropping, Hale is gonna be all over us and we don't need him on our back. We Caruso to back off-"**

 **"And he's still terrorizing my girls! Look at what he did to poor Lyla when she went to get some goddamn gum!"** She motioned to the woman in the chair and kept telling Jax off, but I went over to her.

I gently peeled the wad of paper towels from her face and saw all the blood coating it. The blue-eyed blonde was looking up at me like a kicked puppy and I couldn't help but feel bad for her. As softly as I could, I tapped around her cheeks and nose to see if it was broken, apologizing when she whimpered.

 **"She needs to go to the hospital."** I said, stopping Luann and Jax's debate. Juice, Bobby and the Prospects just joined everyone and I was helping Lyla up. Juice started leading her out and I pulled Luann away from Jax because he looked like he was a second away from slapping her. I was too. **"What the hell is going on? You told me my girls would be fine with you, but you've got your acts walking around with broken noses! That's not taking care of them!"**

 **"I tried, Talia! Georgie Caruso has been up my ass and he's making me lose everything I've got, had the cops in here and everything! He isn't someone I can handle on my own and that's why I called Jax, but he didn't do a damn thing to help me! My girls are** ** _petrified._** **Hell, half of them went to work with him and those that didn't ended up like Lyla. He...he might come after you next..."**

 **"I don't even know him!"**

 **"He thinks I'm buying more girls from you! The man's got tabs on everything I do and he found out about our deal. He wants me out of the porn business and he's trying to cut off all my resources."**

 **"He won't have to worry about that 'cause I'm cutting you off myself. Where are my girls?"** She scoffed at that, a shocked look on her face that made me want to slug her in the goddamn jaw.

 **"** ** _Your_** **girls? I bought those 3, they belong to me."**

 **"I don't want the money back."**

 **"And you're not getting them back either. I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel as it is, Talia."**

 **"Luann, you got 10 seconds to tell me where the hell they are or I'm gonna-"**

 **"Madam Talia?"** A shaky voice called and I simmered down before I spat something _really nasty_ at Luann.

I turned around and a trembling Nalani was in an erotic French Maid costume with a matching garter belt on her left leg. She didn't look like she got hurt, but she was crying before I got her in my arms and she was bawling into my shoulder now. I was trying to calm her down and rubbing her back, telling her everything was okay now. I noticed the boys drooling at us and I flipped them off. My girls are scared for their lives and all they can think about is how kinky this looks.

 **"Are you okay, honey?"** I asked, pulling her back to look at her and she nodded. **"Where's Gianni and Yumi?"**

 **"G-Gianni's in her dressing room and Yumi hasn't c-come back from her break yet."**

 **"How long has she been gone?"**

 **"A few hours. She's not picking up her cell either."** The tears started pouring again and I tried to stop them, but it wasn't working. **"He hurt her, I know he did! I saw what he did to Lyla! He's gonna kill someone! Please don't make me stay here! I don't wanna do this anymore!"**

 **"It's gonna be okay, you're going back to the Den. Go get dressed and get Gianni."** She nodded and went to the dressing rooms while I was pacing, trying to think about all this.

The Sons obviously know something about this Georgie brute because Luann's been asking for their help. I had to guess this was some rivalry going on between their studios because she was losing her actresses to him. My main concern was Yumi though. If she was dead, Georgie was going to have a lot more to worry about than Luann's empty threats.

Nalani came back with Gianni just as Luann came out of her office again and started coming over here. I knew she was going to start some shit about me taking them back, but I couldn't give less of a damn and I didn't want to hear it. I took my girls over to the Prospects and they stood up, stiff at attention. One of them was had curly hair and the other one Rat.

 **"Ratboy and..."  
**

 **"Miles."** The other one answered and I nodded. **  
**

 **"I need you to take my girls up to the Den. You know where that is?"** They both nodded. **"When you get there, tell Marco or David to call in all the Kittens and lock the Den down. Stay there and watch the place."**

 **"Yes, ma'am."** They each took Gianni and Nalani to usher them out and I followed after. This 'ma'am' thing was not sitting right with me. Juice was right behind me and we watched them mount their bikes to drive off.

 **"Take me to Georgie Caruso. I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind."** I said without looking at him and started for his bike, glancing back to make sure he was following me.

 **"That's Club business, Tal."**

 **"It turned into my business when he abducted one of my girls. You either take me to that asshole or take his ass kicking."**

 **"Hey, I'm on your side."** He smirked and mounted his bike with me already on the back.

When he pulled off, I could see the rest of the Sons piling out of Cara Cara, but we were gaining distance and we were going to get to Georgie _first_. When we pulled up to his studio, I already had my gun out and I heard Juice laughing behind me. I slammed the door open and told the pair of women sitting in the lounge to get out. I opened another set of doors and was blocked by a tall black guy which made me tuck my gun behind my leg. He stopped me from going any further, but I could tell the office was behind him because I could see the studio at the end of the hall.

 **"What can I do for you, little lady?"** He asked with a grin and I wanted to spit in his fucking eye.

 **"I'm here to see Caruso and I don't have a goddamn appointment."**

 **"Auditions are on Saturdays, walk-ins welcome. I think you're gonna be our next big thing, doll. How do you feel about group sex?"** I sighed at his attempts to flirt or flatter me and wished I would've had that damn Crow inked on me already. One look at it and everyone knows I'm taken. I was thinking about getting the damn thing stamped on my forehead.

 **"I'm more into Ero-Guro, you know, masochism."** Already highly irritated, I aimed my gun at the man's right kneecap and pulled the trigger.

While he was on the ground screaming in agony, I hopped over him and into the next room. I was right about this being the office and from the nameplate sitting on the desk, the fat fuck sitting behind it was Georgie Caruso. He was watching something on his laptop and from the moaning, it was one of his films. He looked from the screen to me and his eyebrows went up in interest, a smile on his lips as he took me in.

 **"And how can I help you, sweetheart?"** I smiled back at him, but his vanished when he was looking down the barrel of my pistol. When he saw Juice, he cursed under his breath. **"Whatever Luann told you is a lie! I didn't do anything to that scheming bitch!"**

 **"Where is Gaia?"**

 **"Who?"** I grabbed his collar and slammed him on the desk, my gun digging into his cheek.

 **"Gaia! Japanese, brown eyes, black hair, lavender collar on her neck! She was working at Cara Cara and she never came back! What the fuck did you do to her?!"**

 **"I-I told my guys to make a message out of her!"** He sputtered. **"They threw her to some local gang, wetbacks! They were gonna tell Luann they butchered her, but t-they won't kill her, I promise! It was just to scare her away!"**

 **"Name!"**

 **"Charro! The leader's name is Charro!"**

 **"Felix Charro?"** Juice asked and I forgot he was with me for a minute. I glanced at the door and he was there with the Sons behind him, looking to be amused by the show I was putting on. Tig looked more aroused than entertained.

Georgie was briskly nodding at Juice and I let him go. He fell to the ground and backed against the wall. I looked at his laptop and saw Gianni with one of Luann's girls. I shut the laptop and gave it to Jax on my way out. I don't know if the boys were going to finish what I started or go destroy Georgie's set, but I could care less unless they were coming to help me. Juice obviously knew the name of who had Yumi and getting her back to safety was my highest priority right now.

 **"Felix Charro, a Mexican beefcake. He just got outta lockup."** Juice explained on our walk back to his bike. **"I knew his older brother before he got died, got his brain fried. He used to be leader of this gang, the Diamondback Devils.** **T** **hey usually stick to street racing and they've got some beef with another gang, turf war or something.** **Felix is running things now.** **He's over in Cantua Creek."**

 **"You think we need to go get some more firepower?"**

 **"Doubt it. With you and your temper, we just need a little muscle."**

 **"Aye, I'm with you then."** Chibs said and tapped my shoulder before mounting his bike. Jax, Bobby and Tig were in a little huddle, so I guess they were going to hang back to help Luann with her Georgie problem. **"Get a move on, lovie. I'm givin' ya' a free pass."**

I smiled at Chibs and got on Juice's bike again, headed for Cantua Creek. The ride wasn't even a half hour long and we were posted down the street from Felix's den. There were a few lowriders parked in front of his house and the crimson one had a hissing Diamondback Rattlesnake coiled around a a rifle on the trunk. There there were 3 Mexican men sitting on the porch playing cards while they drank. None of them looked like they were carrying though.

 **"Just called Sack. He'll be here with the van in 10 minutes."** Chibs rejoined me and Juice as we stalked the movement. **"What's the plan?"**

 **"There's 4 cars outside, so there's about 10 inside. We could go around back and bre- Talia!"**

I was already halfway down the street when Juice called me and I had my gun in a tight grip, ready to shoot to kill. Chibs said he was giving me a free pass and I'll be damned if I wasn't going to take advantage of it. It's not like I was hurt though. My ribs have been fine the past few days and I didn't need to take medication anymore, took the bandages off.

I could hear Chibs and Juice trying to catch up to me and when I stepped on the porch, the 3 men were still focused on their game. They reeked of sweat and hot alcohol.

 **"Felix is inside, straight to the back."** The one with the red bandana around his head slurred and unlocked the door for me, but went right back to his drunken friends.

The musk of sweaty pussy and alcohol flushed my senses when I stepped inside and the place looked horrible. Pizza boxes, thongs and bottles littered the floors and I could only guess that the trail of white lines on the tables were Coke. There were Meth pipes scattered around too. There were naked women passed out everywhere and the ones who were conscious were huddled in a corner puking their brains out or mumbling something I couldn't understand, but none of them were Yumi. Someone knew how to throw a damn good pussy party.

I followed the trail to the back of the house and to a black door. There was muffled noises coming from the other side and I could hear a man in there. It sounded like he was having sex, but the door was locked when I tried the knob. Chibs whistled and I stepped back to let him kick it in, gun raised. When he broke the door open, there were more unconscious women sprawled around a bedroom, but a man was humping one of them in bed and I could only guess that he was Felix because he was covered in prison ink. Either he's been popping Viagra since this morning or he had _a lot_ of stamina to go through all these women.

I aimed my gun at his shoulder and pulled the trigger, stopping his movements. He fell out of bed with a scream and I kicked him on his back, gun aimed directly on his temple. Felix was a pretty handsome guy. Olive skin, pale turquoise eyes, short messy black hair. He had a nice body too, fit and build no doubt from him exercising while he was in lockup. It's always a pain to off the attractive ones.

I looked over my shoulder and 2 semi-conscious woman were stirring in the bed, but they weren't Yumi either. Hopefully, she was still alive because I wasn't in the mood to burn bodies today.

 **"What did you do with Gaia?"**

 ** _"Qué?"_**

 **"The girl Georgie Caruso told you to take."**

 _ **"**_ _ **No sé lo que estás hablando.**_ _ **Quién eres?"**_

 **"Don't gimme that south of the border shit!"** I snapped, my gun pushing into his skull to the point where I could feel his pulse. **"Where the fuck is she?!"**

 _ **"**_ **Okay,** **chill** **out,** **mama** **!** **She's in the bathroom. She started throwing up and she never came out. I didn't touch her."** Felix pointed over the bed and to another black door.

Chibs took my place in keeping a gun on Felix while Juice and I went to investigate. I opened the door and there was one woman with her head in the toilet, another hanging off the sink and I saw the arm of one poking from behind the shower curtain. I pulled it back and sighed in relief, tucking my gun back in my pants. Yumi was half-naked and her makeup was smeared, hair wild. She was mumbling something and her eyes were foggy. She must be under whatever drugs Felix gave her, but she was alive and that's all that mattered.

Juice went into the bedroom and came back with a white sheet. I wrapped Yumi in it and picked her up, taking her out of the bathroom. Chibs still had a gun on Felix, but he was sitting in a chair with a pair of jeans on. He was holding something on his shoulder and I guessed it was to keep his wound from bleeding. He looked pretty calm too.

 **"Hey, no hard feelings,** ** _dama?"_** Felix asked and I stopped, giving him a grim, drop-dead stare. He put his free hand up in surrender at the glare I gave him. **"I don't want any beef,** ** _señora._ I got enough to deal with. ****Your friend explained what happened. Caruso told me a whole different story, told me Gaia had a reputation for the resisting kidnapping bit. You know, role playing. He said he set everything up and all we had to do was pick her up."**

 **"It's not her thing."** I hissed.

 **"I know that now and again, I'm sorry about this. Something didn't feel right with her, she was too pretty, too clean to be a petty street whore. I hear you've got an escort service in West Park. You lookin' for protection?"**

 **"You're trying to strike a deal with the woman who just shot you in the shoulder?"**

 _ **"Me gustan las mujeres locas**_. **I like the women in my life to be crazy, it's sexy, keeps me on mt toes."** He smirked and I scoffed, but smiled back. **"Think of it as me extending my apologies and expanding my network. Me and my boys'll watch over your place, guard your girls when they go out, keep the cops and competition away and bring in more business. You throw us some free** ** _coño_** **every now and then, everyone's happy."**

 **"Your bodyguards weren't very alert when we rolled up. How do I know they can keep my girls safe?"**

 **"Those** ** _pendejos_** **out there aren't my boys, just some locals. They threw me a Welcome Home party and I've been crashing here since I got out just to get laid. As ballsy as you are,** ** _novio,_** **you and your friends wouldn't have made it down the block."**

I considered Felix's offer and looked at Juice. He could get me more info on the Diamondback Devils and probably find some dirt to use as leverage if I needed it. I haven't heard of Felix's gang, but they had to be pretty tough because their leader seemed like the kind of guy who didn't take anyone's shit. I think his gang would be some pretty good watch dogs because I've been meaning to get on-campus bodyguards for the Den and with the Sons being so active lately, I knew they couldn't stay up there everyday.

Juice nodded at me and I looked at Chibs. He took his eyes off Felix and nodded too, putting his gun down. I heard a horn honk and guessed our ride was here.

 **"Alright, we gotta deal. I'll get that round outta you as a sign of no hard feelings."**

 _ **"Magnífico."**_

I gave Yumi to Juice and he went to take her out. I pulled Chibs to the side and asked him if it'd be okay to take Felix back to the clubhouse and he said it shouldn't be a problem. He and I helped Felix on his feet and started to drag him outside. We got him in the truck and he seemed pretty chill considering he had a bullet in his shoulder. When I asked about it, he told me that he's been shot and shived so many times, it barely hurts anymore. He and Chibs started talking about him in prison and I think he was trying to make a bond for future protection purposes.

Yumi was still out of this world and Felix said she had some strong Valium in her system, but it was nothing serious. We just had to wait until the drug wore off and she'd be just fine. He even offered to take her to the hospital if something was wrong when she woke up. When we got to the clubhouse, Juice said he'd take Yumi to the Den and keep an eye on things up there while Chibs and I drug Felix to my dorm. Miles followed us back there and put a towel on my bed to prevent my sheets from getting stained. He was acting as our nurse to get any supplies Chibs and I needed which was mainly booze for the boys.

As I started digging into my new-found friend, I had a feeling this partnership was going to work out perfectly.


	12. Chapter 12

**X~Talia~X**

Felix was groaning when I tried to get a grip on the bullet, but that pesky thing did not want to come out. It wasn't anything serious and it didn't hit a bone, but it was slightly tucked under his clavicle. Maneuvering it was the tricky part. I could get a hold on it, but I'd lose my grip when I tried to pull it out because it'd scrape against his upper trapezius and he'd try his hardest to bite through the pain to keep still. I knew he was going through it though.

Chibs and I have been taking turns trying to get that damn bullet out for an hour and thankfully, there were no shards to deal with. We stopped the bleeding too. The Scott was trying again and he was straddling Felix's back now. He was down to his white tank and it had some streaks of blood on it, his hands a bit red too. I was at the foot of my bed at Felix's face and he had one of my pillows between his teeth. I changed into a black muscle shirt and it probably had blood on it too, but I couldn't see it. I was clutching a bottle of Patron Tequila because it was Felix's favorite and we've been passing the bottle around.

 **"I'm gonna pull on 4. Ready?"** Chibs asked and Felix took a breath before nodding. **"One, two-"**

 _ **"Follar cristo!"**_ Felix groaned and bit the pillow again, growling as Chibs started pulling at the round. He was keeping Felix's stiff body down with his forearm as he tried to get the bullet out. _**"**_ ** _Dios puto carajo! Dame el licor!"_**

He's said that a billion times before and like he asked, I put the bottle to his mouth and tilted it up to let him drink it. Looking behind him, Chibs had his clenched teeth bared as he groaned with Felix, but he starting smiling and he laughed before stopping. He got off the bed and wiped his hand on the towel. He sat next to me and was panting a bit, but still smiling and he took the bottle from Felix to take a swig.

Our Mexican friend looked exhausted and there was a pool of saliva starting to form from his slacked open mouth.

 **"Good news, amigo. Shell's almost out. Ya' got about 2 and a half inches to go. We'll cut ya' a break, then get back to it, yeah?"** Felix mumbled something and I couldn't tell if it was in Spanish or English, but he seemed to be happy to take a break because he smiled and closed his eyes a second later. **"Let him rest for a bit, then yank that sucker out. I'm gonna go clean up, see what the boys have gotten into."**

I nodded and Chibs grabbed his shirt and cut before leaving. I didn't hear the door close and I looked behind me. Juice poked his head in and smiled at me. I waved him to come in and put my fingers on Felix's neck to make sure he was still breathing. I felt a pulse and gave him a tap on the cheek. He groaned a bit, but he didn't wake up. I'd give him another 10 minutes or so of resting before I got back to work.

 **"For a second, I thought you and Tig were in here having very violent sex. We could hear him screaming in the Chapel."** Juice said and I stopped rummaging through my dresser to look at him with a slack jaw, but smiling. He took my oversized teddy out of the patched armchair and sat down with him between his legs. He looked down at it and smiled, petting it's head.

Happy told me the guys went to the Carnival the day before I came back and they thought it'd still be open, but they packed up to leave. He won me a life-sized teddy bear and I don't know if I was just a tiny woman or if the bear was really human-sized, but that thing could eat me alive. It could replace my bed. My new friend was wheat with black button eyes and a stitched smile.

 **"You give him a name yet?"** He asked.

 **"Jack."**

 **"Let me guess. A** **fter** **Jack Torrance from _The Shining_** **?"**

 **"Nope, after** **Jack the Ripper** **."** I smiled and went back to finding a clean shirt to wear, setting the American flag tank on the knob of the bathroom.

 **"I got you a new burner."** I turned around and he chucked me a new disposable. **"Check the messages."**

I flicked the phone open and went to the texts like Juice said. I glanced up and he had Jack sitting on his lap now, cuddling the bear. I smiled to myself and started reading the messages. They were conversations between Juice and someone else about me being back in town. I had a feeling my brother got me a new client, but Felix started groaning again and I grabbed the tweezers off the side of the bed before going to his face. He still looked worn out, but his hand flicked up at Juice.

 ** _"Vamos..._** **let's get this over with."**

 **"You sure? You can rest for a few minutes."** He shook his head and I gave Juice the bottle of alcohol.

Juice was at Felix's head to give him a swig if he asked and I straddled his back. Just like Chibs said, I could almost see the bullet and I'd get it out in a snap. Felix would probably feel a whole lot better once it was out. I braced my free hand on his shoulder and grabbed the round between the metal tips. I didn't warn him when I started pulling and he started groaning again, but that shell was slowly coming out. It almost felt like his body was pulling it back in, but I didn't let it and with one quick yank, it was out.

 **"That wasn't so bad, right?"** I smiled and Felix scoffed, but he squeezed my hand.

I dropped the bullet on my dresser and he asked if he could sit up. I nodded and Juice helped him. Felix seemed like he was gaining his strength by the second and I took an alcohol pad, some gauze and a bandage out of my med kit. Felix was leaning on his legs and I sat behind him, starting to clean his wound. I noticed that he had a hissing Diamondback rattlesnake wrapped around an AR-15 inked on his back and I remembered the same decal I saw on the lowrider. It made me think about the Reaper Jax had on his back. These men are really dedicated to their gangs.

 **"You've protected a brothel before?"** I asked, dabbing the small crater with an iodine and betadine soaked cotton pad.

 **"** ** _Sí,_** **back in** ** _Viejo San Juan_** **. It was much more violent though, shootouts damn near every night and we'd find the girls' head on doorsteps if they pissed off a client. That was usually around** ** _La Perla._** **"**

 **"Geeze."** Juice cringed.

 **"Yeah, it was very dangerous to be a whore around there. Over here though, in the States, it's pretty easy. All the clients are fat white men who want a pretty lady to spoil."** I smiled and placed the bandage over the gauze, rubbing it to press out any air bubbles.

 **"All done. Keep it clean and replace the bandage daily."**

 ** _"_ No stitches?"**

 **"Nope, it just a nick. It'll heal in a week or so."** I gave him my Burner to call a ride and cleaned up my medical supplies as he chatted away.

Juice said he was going to tell Chibs Felix was good to go and I went into my bathroom to clean myself up a bit. After washing my hands, I took my soiled shirt off and grabbed the new one off the handle.

 **"You sure we haven't met before?"** Felix asked as I was pulling my shirt down and I leaned on the door frame. **"You look familiar and I never forget a face. You into street racing?"**

 **"Fighting's my thing."**

 **"In Russia?"**

 **"Yeah."**

 **"Oh, _mierda."_** He chuckled. **"My boys picked up some fighting DVD a while ago, saw you kicking ass. You've got a little fanbase,** ** _novio._** **"**

Felix and I smiled at each other and I was flattered to hear that his guys were fans of mine. He asked to use the bathroom and I let him. I sat on my bed and noticed my shorts had blood on them too. Geeze, this was more messy than getting a monthly. I searched for something else to change into and settled on a mid-thigh denim skirt.

I quickly took my shorts off and was about to step into my skirt when there was a knock at the door. Tig came in before I could even invite him inside and he smirked at the sight. I rolled my eyes as I pulled my skirt up and he sat in the recliner . I heard the toilet flush and the sink running before Felix stepped out. His face and hair were wet and I guessed he was freshening up in there.

 **"Can I borrow a shirt,** ** _novio?_** **"** He asked politely and raised a hand to Tig, sending him a nod. _**"Hola, hombre."**_

When Tig didn't answer, I looked at him and almost jumped at the look in his eyes. He looked _so_ pissed off and I've never seen that deadly look in his eyes before. I cursed when I figured out why he looked like he was about to murder someone. I was getting dressed, a shirtless man just came out of my bathroom and Juice said he thought I was banging someone earlier, so everyone in the clubhouse had to think we were having sex in here.

When Tig slowly stood up, his predatory eyes still locked on Felix, I stood in front of him and put my hands on his chest. He didn't take his eyes off Felix and I was getting more nervous by the second.

 **"I overheard Juice and Chibs talking about your new guard dog..."** Tig trailed off, but he was still staring at Felix like he wanted to pounce on the man. **"We're headed to the Wahewa Reservation. That repo Sack picked up got us some business. Juice said you guys have somethin' to do, so I'll see you tonight?"**

 **"Yeah."** I turned his head to me and smiled. Tig lost his protective mood and gave me a little smirk, but he went back to glaring at Felix.

 **"I think your ride's here. There's a couple lowriders full of inked border bandits parked out front."**

 _ **"**_ _ **Que te jodan, chico blanco."**_ Felix smirked and Tig narrowed his eyes at whatever he said. I knew there was an insult in there because he said it when Chibs was digging into his shoulder. He came over to me and smiled. **"I'll send some of my guys over today. I'm gonna take a day to heal up, then I'll be there."**

I nodded and started leading him outside. Juice met us halfway and he had a shirt for Felix. When we walked outside, there were about 4 lowriders with mean looking, heavily tattooed Mexican men sitting in or on them. The ones in the dark orange one were talking with Chibs and things seemed to be pretty friendly there. When I came over with Felix, he regarded them in their language and they all smiled at me, waving. Felix piled in the red car and his posse said something to Juice in Spanish that made them all laugh.

 **"I have no idea what they've been calling me."** He said as we watched Clay, Tig, Chibs, Bobby, Jax and Half-Sack mount their bikes. We were walking down the street and I was following his lead because he obviously wanted to take me somewhere. **"After I told them I was Puerto Rican, they started calling me media es-spazy-az? I don't know. They're pretty cool guys though. Felix was really polite too."**

 **"I hope his guys are the same 'cause my girls could use a sense of cordiality after this Caruso shit."**

 **"I heard Tig on the phone with Freddie earlier. You getting inked tonight?"** I smiled, but I didn't answer and Juice started walking backwards in front of me. He had that dopey smile on his face and it made me laugh. **"Aw, Tal! You're blushing!"**

 **"I am not!"**

 **"You're such a girly princess, blushing over boys like a lovesick teenager."**

 **"Shut up!"** Juice kept teasing me for another minute or so and when we both stopped laughing, I told him that I was getting the Crow.

Juice finally stopped walking and I saw his bike parked a few feet from us. We were sitting on the curb and he was looking down the streets, so we were waiting for something. After another minute, I heard a smooth roar of an engine and sleek, red Audi R8 V10 Spyder came down the street. I was drooling over that beautiful ride and I was tempted to just touch it. It stopped in front of us and the hood started to retract, revealing the driver.

The man was an amber-eyed, sandy blonde and he got out. He was wearing a navy dress shirt with the sleeves cuffed to his elbows, slate grey slacks and black framed glasses. The guy was probably a businessman. He gave Juice a handshake held his hand out to me next.

 **"Charlie Frazier."**

 **"Jinx."**

 **"Juice and Jinx, siblings?"** He asked with a smile and I nodded. **"Your brother told me what you do. The cops aren't good for anything, so I'm hoping you can help me."**

 **"What's the problem?"**

 **"My son, Brandon, was kidnapped a few days ago. I'm filing for custody against his mother and she's got a new boyfriend with a local gang. They took him from school. I was planning on moving to Seattle and Jen doesn't want me to take him away. She doesn't care about him, just wants to use him to get a check from the government."**

 **"How old's your son?"**

 **"6...h** **e's probably scared to death.** **"** Charlie choked up then and he walked away from us for a second, probably to get himself together. When he came back, he sighed and took off his glasses. His eyes were full of sadness and he looked like he's been loosing sleep for days. **"My son means everything to me, he's all I got. His mother's on all kinds of hard drugs and I can't imagine what her boyfriend's like. They said they'd give him back if I pay them and told me where to meet them. I just want my kid to be safe.** **"**

 **"Charlie, I can tell you now, they're not gonna give him up. You pay and they're just gonna take the money, then ask for more. I can help you though. I have a .300 Win Mag sniper rifle with a scope and suppressor, modified to be a damn near perfect copy of the one Chris Kyle used."**

 **"She could shoot a turtle between it's eyes a mile away."** Juice added and Charlie looked pleasantly shocked. **"When and where did they say they wanted to meet?"**

 **"Riverdale, day after tomorrow at 3."**

 **"You know how many guys are in this gang?"**

 **"Maybe...13 or so, the rest are in prison. They're not an MC like the Sons or Mayans. Are you gonna be able to handle that?"**

 **"I've got a crew of my own to back me up."** I answered and saw Juice smiling at how much damage we were going to cause with the Diamondback Devils tomorrow. **"We'll come with you, get some answers and find your kid."**

Charlie thanked me a billion times and gave me a picture of his son before he got back in his flashy ride, seeming to be a bit relieved. We went back into the clubhouse and into Juice's room to dig up some info. He found the gang that took Brandon and they were petty criminals. They mainly robbed convince stores and snatched purses. Juice managed to get a picture of Brandon's Mom and I was going to make sure she got a nice fist to the face for the bullshit she's caused.

I called Felix and we spent some time talking about what was going down tomorrow. He seemed very determined to help me get this kid back. He said he might know the gang that took Brandon and where their leader lived, was going to send some of his guys to investigate. The Diamondback Devils were a 20 man group and 15 were coming with us, prepared to ambush Brandon's kidnappers. Charlie called and told me how much the ransom was, but he said the 40K was all mine when we got his kid back. I'd split that with the Devils and still be able to give some to the Club.

When we finally emerged from Juice's room, the boys were back and the clubhouse was already into its wild party mode. Juice grabbed us some beers and we headed to the back where the stripper pole was. I didn't know if it was Jax or Kozik, but one of them had their face in a Crow Eater's chest and Opie was sitting on the pool table with his shirt off. He was talking with Chibs as Irish Freddie touched up the Reaper on his chest.

I started seeing the gentle giant about 2 days after being back home. I saw how close he was with Jax and his mugshot on the wall, so I asked about him. Opie just got out of lockup on a 5 year arson charge and I already knew we were going to get along perfectly. He said Opie took some time to himself when he got out to get over his wife and kids leaving. Apparently, Donna wanted her husband out of the Club and he wasn't willing to do that, so he pressed her to sign the divorce papers while he was away. Jax said Opie thought he wasn't a good father to is kids, that they barely knew him even though he's been there all their lives, so it was better for them to be with their mother. Opie seemed to be doing pretty good and he was the sweetest guy I've ever meet. He had a huge heart and he wore it on his sleeve.

 **"Alright, all done. Good to see you again, man."** Freddie wiped down the spot he was working on and pat Opie on the shoulder. **"Who's next?"**

 **"She is."** I squealed when I felt someone pick me up and Opie slid off the pool table to let Tig set me down on it.

I got a warm greeting from Freddie and he asked if I wanted my dream catcher touched up or extended, but Tig made a goddamn PSA about me getting the Crow tonight. Of course, the whole bar cheered in approval and all my brothers gathered around to watch Freddie do his artistic thing. Tig was watching his every move and he'd smile at me every few seconds. It tickled a little, but I kept still. Once it was done, everyone was whistling and Freddie positioned a hand mirror for me to see my new stamp near my left hip. Feeling in the mood to celebrate, I went over to the bar and started drinking.

Between me asking for Adios Motherfuckers and everyone treating me to shots of whiskey, I was plastered in no time at all. I was never a lightweight when it came to drinking and I had a contest with Opie until he tapped out. Turns out, the guys were throwing him a Welcome Back party and as soon as he stumbled over to a free couch, a horde of Crow Eaters were swarming around him.

I saw some of the guys starting to do body shots and I was pulled into the crowd. A very pretty redhead was laying on the bar with her shirt off and a lemon slice in her mouth. She was down to her bra and her metallic, dark purple hot pants. Unlike most of the Crow Eaters, she didn't look like a dysfunctional clown with too much makeup on and she didn't have any color staining her full lips. She was probably one of the most attractive women in here and when her honey eyes met mine, I saw a glint of pure lechery in them. With the amount of alcohol running through me, that was all I needed to want to get this girl in bed tonight.

Juice made a trail of salt from her navel to her lips and had a bottle of tequila in his other hand. I easily climbed on the bar and straddled the woman's hips, getting all kind of hoots or catcalls from everyone watching. Juice started making the trail with drink and I followed it, licking up the woman's body. Thankfully, she taste like soap.

When I got to her mouth, I took the lemon out and had my tongue in her mouth in a sloppy kiss. She tasted like some kind of cherry alcohol and it was delicious. Our audience was really interested in us now and I opened my eyes to make sure Tig was watching. He was right in front of everyone and the boys were patting him on the back, praising him for having such a kinky girlfriend. They had no idea. Tig didn't have a problem with me doing whatever I wanted with another girl because he liked watching and I thought that was pretty kinky. He never joined in though. I didn't mess around with a girl often because he satisfied me on _so_ many levels, but when I did, he'd look so amazed and to me, it was flattering.

The redhead sat up and I felt her hands wandering under my shirt. I didn't notice that we started leaning off the bar, but Juice was there to catch us and he got taken down too. The redhead was sitting on his lap now, but she was facing me and we went back to kissing, hands starting to caress curves to elicit moans.

I didn't know what Juice was going to do, watch or join in, but my head was buzzing with intoxication and arousal. The redhead seemed to like me and I wanted to play with her tonight.


	13. Chapter 13

**I saw a Review on the last chapter, thanks so much by the way, about Juice and Talia hooking up in a drunken mistake. Not gonna happen, so no worries.** **Unlike the others, Juice has the most unromantic feelings towards her.**

* * *

 **X~Tig~X**

I could barely keep up with Talia last night and I couldn't remember anything after she did a body shot off some Crow Eater. I always thought it was stunning when 2 women would be together and when my Talia was one of them, it was unbelievably sexy. I groaned when I heard something loud pierce the blissful silence and opened my eyes. After a few seconds, the haze cleared and I saw Miles getting a heard of stumbling Crow Eaters out the door while Rat was gathering some empty bottles. They were doing it upside down though...

I had a feeling I was still a little drunk and I closed my eyes again to get myself together. When I opened them, the Prospects were still on the ceiling and I felt the top of my head on the wooden floor. I felt my body bent on a couch and my legs were curled over the top. I pulled myself up and something fell into my lap. It was probably another sweetbutt and I was about to shove her off, but I considered the option of it being Talia. I looked down and smirked when I saw that neither she or a Crow Eater was in my lap, but Chibs was. The only woman near us had her leg dangling off the arm of the sofa and was face-first on the floor with a bottle next to her head.

Chibs' head was buried in my hip and he started mumbling, so he was getting up. The Scott pulled his head up enough to look up at me and I smiled down at him.

 **"Not now, Chibby. Daddy's got a headache."** I pat him on the cheek.

 **"Your loss."** He smirked at me and simply flipped around so that he was staring up at the ceiling. He ran his hands over his eyes and through his hair, messing it up more than it already was. He looked like he went back to sleep and the lethargic feeling was pulling me under too. **"Tal gave us quite the show last night, eh?"**

 **"Yeah."** I smirked, closing my eyes to remember how sexy she looked with that redhead. **"I remember the first time she let me watch her with another girl. That was some beautiful shit, brother. It's like art in motion."**

 **"She let you watch her have sex with another woman?"**

 **"Yeah, she always lets me. She asks if I want to join in on it, but don't wanna mess up the ambiance of it. I figured it'd be fun just to watch and I was right."**

Chibs didn't say anything and I opened one eye to look down at him. He just ran a hand over his face and his dark olive eyes opened again, looking at me in disbelief.

 **"You lucky dog."** He chuckled and groaned as he sat up, muttering what I'm sure were curses.

When he got on his feet, he reached down to the passed out sweetbutt and took a bottle from her. He said he was going to his room and he gave me a pat on the shoulder as he walked by. I started getting up and I staggered over to the bar because it was clean and there was an anti-hangover spread on top. There were bottles of painkillers, cold waters, cups of coffee and toast. I took a pair of pills and a swig of water before I started munching on a slice of toast.

I leaned on the bar and started to feel better as the medication started doing it's job. Looking around, there were still piles on unconscious bodies everywhere and I spotted Opie on a pool table with half-naked blonde on top of him and 2 more on either sides of him. Bobby was back near the stripper pole and he was propped against the wall with a tubby brunette with her face in his crotch. I didn't see anyone else, but they were probably under someone in here.

I heard the bottles clink and I leaned over the bar to see who was back there. I smiled when I did. Talia and Juice were sandwiching the now nude redhead she took a body shot off of last night. Juice was shirtless and was behind the redhead, probably had his dick in her, while Talia had her face in the woman's chest. The redhead was pressed snugly between them with her leg over Talia's waist. Talia was still clothed, but her rivet platform pumps were up near her head and her tank was hiked up. I could see the new ink she got last night and something about seeing that crow on her made me love her even more.

 **"Sweet dreams, angel."** I blew her a kiss and went to see if Clay was already up and moving.

He wasn't in his room or the Chapel, so I walked outside and cringed at the bright sunlight. I rubbed my eyes and made my way over to the office. The door was already open and some guys were already working in the garage, so I went in and Chuck was behind the desk.

 **"You seen Clay around?"**

 **"He was up first, went home this morning. Jax is gettin' shit from a cop though."**

 **"Unser?"**

 **"No, young guy."** He got up and walked to the window overlooking the entrance of the garage. I looked though the blinds and saw Jax talking to Hale. Other than his jeep, there weren't any other police cars parked anywhere, so we didn't have to worry about a surprise raid. **"He's been out there for a minute. I overheard something about guns. You guys get your shipment?"**

 **"We're gonna see McKeavey today, ask him to hold out 'till tomorrow. Juice said Tal got a job and it'll give us what we need. Hale must've found out he was in town."**

 **"He gonna be a problem?"**

 **"No, little boy wonder's just looking for his big break to boot Unser outta office and get us out of Charming. No worries, Chucky."** I pat him on the shoulder and he nodded.

I walked out of the office, cursed at how unbelievably bright the goddamn sun was and made my way over to Jax. When I got close enough, I could see how irritated Hale looked and I knew Jax has been out here getting under his skin for a while. When Hale noticed me, Jax turned around. He came to stand next to me and I had a feeling the good cop had some questions for us.

 **"Mr. Trager, maybe you can be a little more helpful this morning."**

 **"Considering I've got one nasty headache, I've gotta piss and I don't believe in whatever 'mornings' are, I highly doubt I'll be any help to you."**

 **"We won't know unless we try."**

 **"Some gash said that to me once."** Jax said and it looked like he was remembering what happened. **"She lured me back to her house and said we were gonna have fun with her bitch."**

 **"Sounds like she was a dominatrix."** I said, curious.

 **"She wasn't. They're not my type. I don't want a woman to make me feel like a bitch."**

 **"Someone has a power fetish."** Jax scoffed, but smirked at me. **  
**

 **"The girl though, she wanted me to have a threesome with her and her dog, Dezi. It wasn't some teacup Yorkie either. It was a gigantic sheepdog."**

 **"She wanted you to fuck her, then watch while you fucked the dog?"**

 **"She wanted the me and the dog to fuck** ** _her._** **Dezi was a boy and dick was bigger mine. It was half of a horse cock."**

 **"There's a woman running around Charming who fucks her dog. Oh, man. That is wrong on so many levels."**

 **"Isn't that illegal, animal abuse?"** I shrugged and we looked to Hale for an answer. He looked mildly disturbed at our conversation and I actually he forgot he was there for a minute. **"You wearin' a vest?"**

 **"Why, planning on shooting me?"**

 **"Not in broad daylight."** He smirked and Hale narrowed his eyes. **"I heard there was a rouge sniper gunning down cops and it looks like he's gonna come through Charming. I think the body count's at 15 now. He's got those pigs droppin' like flies."**

 **"Shit, I heard about that too."** I added to the lie and Jax tried to hide his laugh while Hale was looking a bit nervous. **"Guy's got these untraceable bullets that explode on impact. It's like that Jet Li movie _War_ all over again. I've seen it with pumpkins, but never someone's head. It's probably like a meatball bursting in a microwave."**

Jax and I laughed when Hale did a quick 360 of his surroundings. He was so big and bad around us, but we could turn him into a timid mouse with a few choice words. I let the VP continue to taunt Hale, but I heard some stumbling steps and turned around. Talia just came out of the clubhouse with her heels in her hands and was making her way over. I caught her before she tripped and she was a giggling fit in my arms. She wrapped hers around my neck and was still swaying a bit. Someone was still drunk from last night.

 **"C'mon, Tiggy. Let me ride you all the way home."** She smiled and started laughing, her head going into my chest.

 **"How much did you drink last night, Tal?"**

 **"More than enough 'cause I'm still the 3 H's. Happy, Hot and Horny."** She pulled away from me, but leaned on my chest after taking a few steps and giggling. She was facing David and Jax now, but her eyes were glued on the officer. **"Who are these guys?"**

Hale heard Talia's little slur and he took his hat off to smile at her. I didn't like how that pig was looking at her and I tightened my grip around her waist, my chin resting on her shoulder with our cheeks touching. Jax raised an eyebrow at the gestures and he had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face, but I could care less about him right now. I felt Talia's fingers patting over mine, that were intertwined over her navel, something she always did to let me know to calm down before I did something stupid. Assaulting an officer wouldn't be the easiest thing to explain or clean up either...

 **"Deputy Chief David Hale at your service."**

 **"Hear that, boys? He's** ** _Deputy Chief_** **. We're gonna have our own Freddie Heflin around here real soon."** I smirked at her sarcasm, but Hale didn't seem to catch on to it. **"What happened to...Wayne? Did someone shoot him?"**

 **"He's still around, not for long though."** The smug tone in his voice was hard to miss and Talia hummed in response. I whispered in her ear about how the old man was a traitor and she gasped, saying 'Oh, no'. Yeah, she was still plastered. **"Did any of you happen to know that Michael McKeavey is in town?"**

 **"Michael who?"** Jax asked in mock ignorance.

 **"McKeavey sounds like it belongs to a green."** I added. **"We're not too chummy with leprechauns, so why would we care about _McKeavey_ coming to Charming?" **

**"Well, with Clay's gunrunning charges and Michael's convictions on supplying, I could only infer that the MC would be interested in buying."**

 **"Clay hasn't had a gunrunning charge in years."** Jax explained. **"And this Club is made up of motorcycle enthusiasts. We ride Harleys, have fetishes with leather and have horrible addictions to whiskey and cigarettes. We don't get involved with guns and if we do, it's for protection purposes and we're all licensed to carry."**

 **"Right. Well, if Clay happens to contact Mr. McKeavey and a deal happens, be sure to give me a call."**

 **"I got your number on speed-dial."** Jax smirked at Hale and he scowled back. He put his hat back on and politely bid Talia goodbye before pulling off in his jeep.

 **"I've seen guys like him get their asses torn apart in lockup."** Jax scoffed at me thinking out loud, but smirked. **"I'm serious. The clean ones with the bright eyes and good boy outlook get mounted by some huge black guy named Trigger Mike. All it takes is an empty corner and a few turned heads."  
**

 **"The shit you think of, man."** He shook his head at me, but got serious. **"Hale's gonna have tabs on us. With how diplomatic Wayne's been acting lately, I doubt he'll tip us off on a trail. I'm gonna head to Mom's, talk to Clay about this deal. The sooner we get it done, the better."**

 **"I'm gonna drop her off, come by Gem's afterwards."** I hooked my arm under Talia's legs and cradled her in my arms. She was already dozing off and I couldn't help but smile at her. Jax nodded and Talia was waving goodbye, mumbling something that made him smile.

I dug in her pockets for the keys to her car and clicked the button to make her silver and black Challenger chirp. I set her in the backseat and got in front, already enjoying how kickass her cage was. I drove us home and Rouge was there to greet us when we came in, seeming to be very happy to see both her parents. I stopped on my route to the bedroom when I felt my Burner buzzing and set Talia down on the couch.

Clay called to tell me the details on our guns and that a ride was coming to pick me up in a minute. He said the Prospects were going to keep Charming PD preoccupied with a mild disturbance, so we wouldn't have to worry about the fuzz disrupting our meeting. I looked back at Talia and my heart melted at the sight. Rouge crawled on the couch and was laying on Talia, her head on her chest. She nudged her head under Talia's hand and softly sighed, closing her eyes. As quietly as I could, I went into our bedroom and got the Polaroid camera out of the nightstand. They were still in the same place when I got back and I took a few snaps to make sure I got a perfect shot.

From the squares on the floor, I got the perfect photo of them and I grabbed a pair of scissors from the kitchen to cut off the white outline. I flipped it on the back and wrote 'My girls' in black marker. I sat in front of the couch and Talia's free hand was over my shoulder. I took my wallet out and held the picture of me and Missy next to the new photo, eyes filling with hot tears at the sight of them. I was holding it and still gazing at the photos in my lap until I heard honking outside. I didn't want to leave now, not after seeing this perfect moment, but that's what pictures were for. They captured the most irreplaceable times in life and I could reminisce over the fond memory.

 **"Take care of Mama, honey."** I scratched Rouge's ear and kissed Talia on the head before locking up the house.

Chibs, Bobby, Juice, Opie and Kozik were in the van and I got in back, still looking at the newest memory that I'd cherish forever. Kozik brushed my shoulder as he got closer to look and I saw him start to smile.

The van pulled off and after about 10 minutes, I heard the roar of a pair of motorcycles in front of us. We obviously weren't going to a bar because we were driving for too long and we stopped when Bobby got a call. From the sound of it, the Prospects called to give us a time-frame before Hale started snooping around. If he didn't find us at the clubhouse, he'd start looking everywhere else.

Jax opened the doors and we piled out. Glancing around the scenery, we were out in a rural area that would most likely have a barn or shed for McKeavey to hide his merchandise in and give us secrecy to talk. Clay had a paper bag in his hand and it was probably the money we managed to scrape up. After a piss stop, we followed behind him into the huge stable. Thankfully, the inside didn't smell like horse shit and I didn't see or hear any animals. It was very quiet...a little too quiet.

McKeavey hasn't come out to greet us with a hug or alcohol and that was strange. One of the reasons we usually meet him at bars was because he liked to discuss deals over a pint and he liked being in a public place should something go awry. He had protection in the bars we went to and they'd blow someone's head off if shit went sideways. Thanks to Clay, SAMCRO was on good terms with him.

The boys were scattered about looking for our gun dealer and I was nearing the back of the stable when I started to see something in the dim light. I edged closer to it and realized it was something dangling from a high beam in a stall. When I got close enough, I saw that the figure was actually a person and they had a white sheet tied around their feet, hovering them above ground.

 **"Guys, I found Michael...he ain't lookin' too good."** I called and waited for them to come converge around the scene.

McKeavey was obviously dead, but the execution was what caught my attention. He was beaten to death and the white sheet had a lot of his blood on it. He was a tough old potato, wouldn't go down easily. Someone blew the back of his head off too, probably used a shotgun. Once Clay had his look, he started to gently take his old friend down and we helped him using the utmost care.

Once McKeavey was on the ground, the blanket wrapped around him unraveled and I saw the rest of his brains splattered on it. There was something else too, something written. It looked like gibberish to me, but next to it was 'SAMCRO's a no-go' and that meant we were supposed to find him like this. Someone obviously wanted to get the MC's attention and they just got it.

 **"This ain't retaliation, we haven't done anything to anyone."** Jax hissed, obviously ticked off at the situation. Clay was still silent, kneeling next to his friend with his hand over the corpse's eyes.

VP was right though. We just became best friends with the Mayans and the One-Niners weren't ballsy enough to do something like this because we were on good terms with them too. We didn't necessarily like them, but gunrunning was our game and they were players buying our pawns. The Lin Triad was off the table too. Things were never bad with the Chinese and they were more of the capture-and-torture type, so they would've abducted Michale and gave us their demands.

 _ **"On tay a lee-on le maw-dee aye-rogue shay le dar-nid.**_ **Gaelic.** **"** Chibs suddenly said, his voice grave and cold as he stared at the smudges of plasma. **"'He who lies down with dogs, gets up with fleas.' Someone just sent us a message, boys. From the looks of it, they want us outta the gunrunnin' game, killed a known supplier to let us know they mean business."**

 **"Can't talk about this here."** Clay finally said something and stood up, quickly walking out. **"Church as soon as we get back."**

We all started piling out again and I could see everyone's gears turning about this. I stopped when I noticed Chibs didn't join us and turned around. He was down on one knee, looking at McKeavey just like Clay was before. I went to his side and waited.

 **"May the road rise up to meet you**  
 **May the wind be always at your back**  
 **May the sunshine warm upon your face and the rains fall soft upon your fields  
Until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand**

 **Goodbye, friend."**

Chibs sighed and he pulled the cloth over McKeavy's head. I squeezed his shoulder and he got up, still looking a bit pale. As if he could read my mind, he nodded to answer that he was okay and I slung an arm around his shoulders.

We'd find out who did this and we'd avenge McKeavey, make that bastard pay for what they did.


	14. Chapter 14

**X~Talia~X**

I told Felix and his guys to wait outside while I ran in the clubhouse to get my guns. Other than Chibs and Juice, the boys seemed to be on the fence about my new associates and I knew Tig had it out for Felix since he laid eyes on him. The clubhouse was in its usual aftershock of a party night and the Prospects were cleaning up. I was looking for Juice under the bodies and when I didn't see him, I leaned over the bar. He wasn't back there, but Opie was and he was tangled between 2 naked Crow Eaters.

 **"Looking for something, ma'am?"** I sighed at how polite Rat was and turned around, not being able to stay mad at his kind face.

 **"See these?"** I motioned to my chest and since I was wearing a tank, he could clearly see what I was referring to. Off instinct, he glanced down, but his eyes shot right back up to my eyes and I started to see the red stain his cheeks. **"Touch 'em."**

 **"What?"** I grabbed his hand and put it on my left breast, making him do a little squeeze for good measure. He looked torn between enjoying himself and being utterly terrified.

 **"You can't call me ma'am anymore. My name is Talia."** Rat nodded and I flicked my eyes down to his hand to signal to let go. He was still blushing, but I pat his cheek and made my way to the dorms.

I went into Juice's room and he had a Crow Eater in his bed, both still sleeping. They didn't have the blankets covering them, so I got to see Juice's tanned ass and it was adorable. Tempted, I went to the side he was on and gave him a good smack on the bum. His head shot up at that, his hand going over his butt as if I was going to stick something up there.

 **"Rise and shine, brother. We got work to do."**

 **"10 more minutes..."** He grumbled and I smacked his other cheek, making him yelp.

 **"I'm gonna stuff Bobby's 3 day old underwear up your nose next, Juice. Get up."** I heard him complaining, but I was making my way out and to my dorm.

Like all the guys did, I had a hiding place to store my guns and it just so happened to be the ceiling. I pulled the chair away from the desk and placed it a few feet from the bathroom door. I had to knock around to find the square cutout, but I did and I pushed it in. I felt around the hole until my fingers brushed the straps of my duffel bags. I tugged them down and sat them on my bed. One bag was full of handguns, a sawed-off shotgun and a block of C-4. The other one was reserved for my beloved rifle, it's scope, birod, suppressor and a bandolier full of hollow-point bullets.

I rummaged around my room for my med kit and cursed when I saw that it needed to be restocked. I peeked into Juice's room again and heard his shower running, so he was getting ready. I knocked on Chibs' door and heard him slurring something that was impossible to understand, but poked my head inside. He was hanging off one side of his bed and still mumbling, but I went into his dresser to find his fully-stocked kit.

I heard him ask what I was doing and I told him I was going to go play with some friends which made him drunkenly protest. When I came out, Juice was waiting in the hall and he had my sniper bag on his arm. I pulled my aviators on and we made our way out. Juice put our cuts in his bike's satchel and drove next to the lowrider I was in with Felix; Charlie was in the back. He looked a little nervous at all the Mexicans and their guns, but he was silent for the entire ride. He had a briefcase clutched in his hands and I could only guess that was the ransom cash.

When we got to the meeting place, it was vacant other than some abandoned storage buildings and I was going to use one of them as a perch. Felix was going to stay with Charlie and his gang was going to hide in the building below mine with Juice, waiting to strike. We only needed 1 of these assholes alive, everyone was was collateral damage because Felix and his gang had some beef to settle.

I climbed up to the roof and screwed on the suppressor to my rifle, mounting the birod. Felix and Charlie were a few yards in front of me and I loaded my 5 rounds. The kidnappers should be coming soon and I started to see the dust swirl down the opposite road we came from. I did a quick whistle to let everyone know it was game time and I pulled my phone out, putting my headphones in. Felix ducked behind his car and I went to my voicemail just as a black Ford Flex stopped in front of Charlie.

A black man got out and thankfully, he wasn't wearing any leather, so this wasn't the Grim Bastards. I knew the guys didn't care for the One-Niners, but the man wasn't Laroy either. The man went to Charlie and 8 other men got out behind him, forming a crescent surrounding Charlie. They exchanged a few words and I could hear Charlie demanding to see his kid, but I knew he wasn't in that car. They were going to take the money and leave, probably beat the shit out of him.

I saw Felix peek from the side of the trunk and he made the sliver of his pistol glint in the sunlight to signal it was time to make bodies drop. The men were closing in on Charlie and I pushed the play button on the message.

 _ **"Hey, baby."**_ Tig's recorded voice filled my ears and instantly calmed my breathing as I aimed on the man furthest from Charlie. _**"The run's going pretty well, haven't had any problems yet and everyone's still in one piece. Juice is complaining 'cause you're not here. I miss you, can't wait to get back home. Keep the bed warm for me, angel. Love you."**_

The first man fell and the rest of them pulled guns out, starting to panic and scatter. One of them grabbed the case of money from Charlie, pushed him to the ground and I got him in the chest. I got another one in the head before the Devils emerged with Juice and started firing at the rest of the men, making them drop like flies. They were surrounding the car the men came in now and I took that as a sign that they managed to keep one alive.

I pulled my rifle over my shoulder and went to investigate. The man got clipped in the leg and his breathing was a bit heavy, but he didn't look nervous until he saw Felix. I looked behind me and Juice was helping Charlie up, dusting him off. He looked like he got punched a few times, but he'd be fine. Juice nodded to tell me he was okay too.

 **"Where's the kid?"** Felix asked, his voice deep with superiority. I pulled the picture out of my pocket and showed it to the trembling man. He looked at it, then between Felix, myself and all the Devils surrounding him. **  
**

 **"You gotta promise you won't kill me."** The man pleaded to me and I knelt down to his face level.

 **"I promise."**

 **"The kid's in Armona, last house on the corner of Balm of Gilead Ave. Jen's there and 5 other guys."** I nodded in understanding and stood up. As soon as I did, Felix shot the man in the head and said something in Spanish before spitting on him.

The Devils piled back in their cars and we made the drive to the run down community of Armona in the car the black guys came in. We were posted down the street from the house and watching. There were 5 guys in the front and they were all strapped, but that wouldn't be a problem. I sent 5 of Felix's guys to go around the back and we'd take the front. We parked in front of the house and honked, getting the attention of the men. They all came over and we rolled the windows down, pointing 10 guns at the 5 men before they could even try to grab theirs.

We took their guns and coaxed them in the house. The Devils found 2 more and we all had them in a line on their knees in the living room. I took the picture of Brandon out and showed it to the 7 men. They all looked like they knew exactly what I was here for, but they looked more concerned about what Felix wanted. He was looking at all of them with pure hate in his eyes and the members of his crew would angrily mutter something in Spanish until he told them to stifle themselves.

 **"Where's the boy?"** I asked and nobody answered, just looked at each other. **"Don't all speak at once, fellas."**

 **"Ain't no kid here, bitch."** The 3rd one spoke and a shot fired, making him jerk backwards. The guy next to him got half his face covered in blood and he started to shake.

 **"That's for disrespecting the lady."** Felix growled, starting a slow pace in front of our lineup. **"You gatorbait** **, Bix Nood, clocker motherfuckers think we're fucking around?** **Where's the goddamn kid?!"**

 **"He ain't here!"** Another one spat and Felix put a round right through his eye, making the rest of the men cringe in fear.

I pulled Felix to the side after that, going into a messy kitchen. I was completely thrown off by the slurs coming from his mouth because he was a very polite man and that was so out of character. I noticed how calm he looked when we were alone, but the way he was conducting this show wasn't going to get us any answers.

 **"I can't help but think there's a personal problem between you and these guys."**

 **"In lockup, there was a goddamn war between us and we managed to off most of them. When me and my guys got out, I found out that Matias' girl was killed by these fuckers. She was pregnant with his first kid, tore him to pieces. He's like my brother, _novio._ We grew up together, been through all kinds of hell and Lucia was like a little sister to me. So yeah, this is real personal."**

 **"Who killed her?"** He took me to the door frame of the kitchen and pointed to one with a red bandana around his forehead, Calvin. He pointed to Matias next and the man had on a dark red beanie, his olive-green eyes burning with absolute hate. **"Felix, we've only got 4 of them left. I know you're angry, but we gotta find this kid first. Once we get answers, you and Matias get free reign on the asshole who killed your little sister, but not until we get Brandon."**

Felix nodded and we came back into the living room. He whispered something to Matias and came to my side at the line of our round up. I looked at our remaining captives and saw that all of them were scared, but trying to keep impassive faces. The youngest one of the bunch was to the left of the man Felix said killed Lucia and he had to be in his early 20s, just barely out of high school. He was already drenched in sweat and his breathing picked up when I kneeled in front of him.

 **"Where's Jen's kid?"** I asked softly and he started shaking his head.

 **"T-they'll kill me. I can't, please."**

 **"I won't let them hurt you. The Devils are gonna protect you, get you outta California and far away from your crew."**

 **"She's lying, Darius!"** The man on his right snapped. **"You better keep your goddamn mouth shut!"**

 **"See? They're gonna hurt you, we're gonna help you. We'll get you everything you need, money, passport, new social, a piece of pussy for the ride. Whatever you want, you got it, but you gotta tell me where Brandon is."**

 **"...he's upstairs...the attic."** I smiled at the admission and helped Darius up, letting him lead the way.

Juice and 3 Devils came upstairs with us and we passed a bathroom on our way down the hall, but I stopped. The woman was hunched over the toilet and she had a bad blonde dye job. Her thinning locks fell over her face when she pulled her head up to look at me, her green eyes were foggy and losing their color. Her pale skin was littered with rosy brown puncture wounds and I saw a syringe on the floor. Jen. I couldn't even bring myself to want to hit or shoot her in the face for the shit she's done. She was already killing herself, so I was going to let her enjoy a slow, painful death.

Darius pulled the ladder down to the attic and I went up, hearing his muffled cries not long after. The space was made into a room and it had a bed, TV and toys scattered around. Brandon was sitting on the bed and he had headphones covering his ears, giggling at the television as he nibbled on a PB&J sandwich. He didn't look like he got hurt and that was some sweat off my back. He turned to me when I walked over and slid the headphones off, his eyes a perfect match to Charlie's.

 **"Hi, Brandon. I'm Talia."**

 **"You're hair's awesome, Talia."** He smiled and I did too. **"Wanna watch cartoons with me?"**

 **"I'd love to, but your Dad really wants to see you."**

 **"You found my Dad?"** He asked excitedly and I nodded.

 **"He's waiting for you outside and he really misses you. I'll take you to him."**

Brandon quickly grabbed a striped blue jacket and a backpack to put some toys in, obviously wanting to see his Father. I took his hand and led him downstairs. Darius was missing, but there was a bit of blood on the floor. I covered Brandon's eyes with his jacket when we got to the living room. Felix and the Devils were herding the remaining men down into the basement and I went outside to the lowrider Charlie was waiting in. When he saw who I had, he ran over and hugged his son, looking him over for any damage. Brandon was screaming with laughter and Charlie thanked me for getting him back, giving me the case of money before being escorted wherever he needed by the Devils.

Juice came next to me and smiled, but whipped around when he heard someone screaming. Jen just zipped out of the house with a knife in her hand and he couldn't get his gun out before the bitch tackled me and was trying to plunge the blade into my head. We were rolling around in the front yard and I yelped when I felt the knife in my thigh, but Juice flung her off and propped me against the house. The Devils dragged Jen back in the house and Juice cringed at the blood staining my jeans.

 **"Jesus, Tal. What am I supposed to do?"**

 **"Well, pulling it out would be a good first step. It's not that deep, just yank it out."** Juice grabbed for the knife with a shaky hand, but he slowly stared to tug at it and I slapped his hand away. **"I said yank!"**

 **"I'm sorry! I'm panicking!"**

Felix came out of the house with his crew and they stuffed a gagged Calvin in their trunk. He came over to me and looked me dead in the eyes before he swiftly pulled the blade out and I groaned into his chest, but sighed in relief when the pain passed.

 **"That was payback, wasn't it?"** I asked and heard him chuckle before he picked me up to put me in the backseat of his car.

Felix was pretty calm about me bleeding in the backseat and he told Matias to take us to the clubhouse while he kept a spare shirt on my wound. I asked about the rest of the men back at the house and he said it was taken care of. They said they'd get someone to deal with Jen because they didn't kill women, just like the Sons. I'd gut that bitch myself if I didn't have an open wound.

When we got to TM, Felix carried me inside and Juice was there to hold the door open. The Sons bolted to their feet when they saw me, questions overlapping each other, but Juice took the med kit out of my sniper bag and gave it to Chibs.

 **"What the hell did you do to her?!"** I heard Tig bark as Felix set me down on one of the sofas. He shot me a devilish grin and turned to a very livid Tig, Kozik holding him back. **"Why the fuck is she bleeding?!"**

 **"Women have these cycles they go through where they bleed for a few days every month. It's very messy."** Felix teased and I threw my shoe at his shoulder as Chibs eased my jeans down. I saw a few of the boys go over to help restrain Tig, but he was still spitting venom at Felix and he was yelling right back.

 **"I should be flattered that 2 men are fighting over me, right?"** I asked Chibs, hearing something made of glass break. He sent Juice to fetch more towels and he shook his head at me, smirking.

 **"That's gettin' settled right now."** He said, nodding to Tig and Felix. The commotion was getting further away and I heard the door slam shut, so I could only imagine that a fight was about to break out. **"That man's jealously is somethin' ghastly, always thinkin' someone's gonna take you away from him."**

 **"I think it's cute."**

 **"I think you need to explain this wound."** He said, serious then and Juice brought more towels and a bottle of alcohol.

 **"Some crazy bitch stabbed me."** I answered, hissing when he started cleaning it. **"We were getting a kid back to his Dad. His junkie Mom didn't take that very well."**

Chibs hummed in response, telling me to keep the alcohol drenched towel on my leg while he was threading the needle. He started with the stitches and I barely squirmed thought out the process. I was trying to get Juice to calm the fuck down because he looked like I was getting a C-section or something. He was nervously laughing at my jokes though and I heard someone else come in, but I couldn't see them until they came to the other side of the couch.

 **"Why is Tig brawling with a wetback in the garage?"** Gemma asked and raised an eyebrow at me.

 **"'Cause he's a jealous fool."** Chibs muttered, focused on his work.

When he finished, he told me to walk around a bit to see if the stitches would come out and I did, cursing with every step. Gemma was supporting me, but the pain that shot up my leg with every step was starting go away. The stitches didn't come loose either. Juice got me a skirt to slip into and the boys just piled back in with Tig and Felix baring new bruises.

They both sat down across from each other and Felix asked for a cup to spit his blood into.

 **"We good now, _hombre?"_** Felix asked, getting his breathing under control. Tig wiped the blood leaking from his lip and shrugged, making Felix tiredly chuckle. **"I work for your girl, we're business partners, that's it. She settled a long rivalry today and I'm in her debt. She's beautiful, yeah, but I'm not gonna push up on another man's woman."**

 **"I don't like you and I want you away from her."** Tig finally said something and the boys laughed at his stubbornness.

Chibs shook his head at Tig, but knew he had some work to do and he sent Miles to stock up my med kit, so I could help out. Until he came back, we stopped the bleeding on both men and cleaned their cuts with the alcohol. Miles came back with the supplies and we got them bandaged up. I apologized to Felix, because I knew Tig wasn't, and he said not to worry about it. He was going to have some fun with Matias and the guy they had tucked away in the trunk, so nothing was going to dampen his good mood.

Since everything calmed down, I thought this would be a good time to announce the cash we got today and Juice said he put it in my room. I took Felix back there and gave him 10K, which he said was way too much, but I insisted and he thanked me before heading out. Juice I were going to split another 10K and the remaining 20 was for the Club. He stashed his half in his room and I gave him another stack when we got back to the bar, smiling like little delinquents.

 **"What the hell have you done now?"** Jax asked as soon as he saw us again and we didn't answer, just went to the table Bobby and Clay were sitting at. The boys gathered around and were giving us skeptical looks, but Juice and I never stopped smiling.

 **"How much did you guys need for your next shipment?"** I asked and Bobby looked up, thinking.

 **"About...10, 11K, why?"** Juice set his stack down and everyone's eyes lightened at the stack of cash, but started cheering when I set my stack down. **  
**

 **"This is legit?"** Clay asked as Bobby flipped though the stacks.

 **"Of course."**

 **"I don't want you taking money out of your cathouse to help us, Tal."**

 **"We earned this today, got someone's kid back."** Bobby just finished counting the money and he had a shocked, but pleased smile on his face.

He gave Juice and I hugs before he went to put the money in the safe and Clay hugged us next, managing to get both of us in his arms. He was chuckling as he praised us, but he was close to snapping our spines and set us down before any damage was done. The boys came to give us praise and I was surprised when Kozik asked if he could help us next time. I went over to the bar and Half-Sack made me drink, thanking me too.

I turned on my stool and my eyes fell on Kozik and Tig leaning on one of the pool tables talking. They were laughing too and I was glad to see they were getting along. Happy said they had some heat between them, but I guess they worked it out.

Tig turned to me and slowly made his way over, the puppy eyes on full blast. He pouted and rested his head on mine until I couldn't force myself not to smile. He apologized for fighting Felix and I told him he was saying sorry to the wrong person, but forgave him anyway.

 **"Jax."** Rat called from the door and Jax stopped his conversation with Opie to nod. **"There's someone out here for you, said she knows you."**

 **"Tell Ima to go away."**

 **"It's not Ima. I've never seen this girl before."**

 **"Let her in."** Rat nodded and went to go get the mysterious woman. Gemma started to follow him out, but Clay caught her and kept her tucked under his arm.

I was curious to know who the woman was too. Everyone knew Ima brought her sleazy ass around here when she wanted Jax to bang her, but he didn't have any other women sticking to him. I forgot about the mysterious girl when Tig started whispering in my ear about all kinds of naughty things and squeezed my ass every few seconds, making me giggle.

When Rat came back in, he pointed to Jax and a brunette walked in a second later. Her hair was about as long as mine and her green eyes were almost like Gemma's. She looked too clean, too prissy to be around here and associated with Jax, but he was looking at her like she was a goddess or something. All the boys were staring at her too, slight shock on their faces, but I was still in the dark.

 **"Hi, Jax."** She smiled and Jax pushed off the table to go hug her, making her laugh.

I looked over at Gem and she was shooting daggers at the woman. She was looking over Jax's shoulder at her and she did the same thing, which was surprising to me. Nobody so much as _breathed_ the wrong way around Gemma, but this chick just waltzed in here like she was hot shit.

She was obviously on Gemma's shit list and she was getting on my bad side too. I'll be damned if I let some gash disrespect Mom.


	15. Chapter 15

**I felt like I had to bring one of the women of Jax's past into the story, so Tara's here *sardonic cheer*  
It's gonna be a few chapters until she meets Talia and I didn't forget about Tig's last minute booty call XD  
She's coming too**

 **Enjoy and thanks for the support**

* * *

 **X~Talia~X**

It's been a few days since that snarky-eyed brunette came to the clubhouse and I still didn't know what the hell her deal was. Jax left with her as soon as she got here and I've never seen Gemma so pissed off at someone around her son before. If looks could kill, that brunette would've been stoned to death while getting her face mauled by rabid raccoons. Gem's been absent around TM since that day, but I could only guess she was spying on Jax's...I didn't even know what she was to him. For as long as I've known Jax, the man didn't allow himself to get into a relationship and he was satisfied by the Crow Eaters. That woman though, something wasn't sitting right with that one and I never ignored my gut. I don't know what it was, but something was telling me things were about to get ugly in the SAMCRO family and she was the start of it.

I finally got to meet Chuck too. I was a little put off when I saw he only had 2 working fingers and the rest of them were missing, but Gemma bought him...puppet hands? He was a bit on the rambling side and I think he tampered with some dope at one point, but I liked him. He made me his Really Amazing Magical Fudge too. It was freaking _amazing_.

The Sons have been buzzing little bees lately. I think they were trying to track someone down and from the minor cuts I had to clean up, things got violent. Thankfully, Tig hasn't gotten any new bruises and he was a pretty quick healer because the ones from his scrap with Felix were basically gone. I've been updated a bit and Clay told me they were looking for someone, a few people actually. Their Irish gun supplier was murdered and finding out who did it wasn't the easiest thing. The murder was called by someone else and the boys were tracking down the hired hands to get answers from them as well as doing favors in exchange for information. Based on the bloody shirts I've been asked to get the stains out of, I think they were progressing pretty well. They replaced their Irish pipeline with a guy named Cameron and that's who the money I gave them went to.

Yesterday was Sunday and I thought it'd be nice to spend it with my Kittens. I took them out on a lunch date and we went to see a movie, did some shopping afterwards. When we got back to the Den, we had a little Spa session. Everyone got facials, manicures and pedicures. They told me about their families and some of them had kids. I never knew how nice it'd be having girlfriends. On Monday, I helped Marco and David clean up the rooms, restock the bar and massage parlor. We talked and I figured out that they were together, engaged to be exact. They were getting married in a few months and it was going to be a quick trip to the courthouse because they didn't want a huge wedding.

...

Tig came home yesterday and we had a nice night in, but he was gone when I woke up. None of the Prospects were stalking my house, so I didn't have to worry about anything drastic happening with the boys. After I took Rouge for a long walk through the park and she got to see the handsome Husky that lived down the street, I drove to TM to see how things were going.

I peeked in the office and saw Gemma manning the desk. She was on the phone, so I gave her a quick peck on the cheek and she smiled. Things in the garage were running pretty smoothly and I saw Opie come to join the rest of the guys. He saw me though and smiled when I practically skipped over to hug him, getting swallowed by his huge arms.

 **"What's going on, Brother Bear?"** I smiled up at him and heard him chuckle at the nickname I've been calling him since we were introduced.

 **"Nothing much, honeybee."** He laughed at me when he saw the sparkle in my eyes at our matching pet names. I loved him a billion times more now. **"I think today's just gonna be a work day. What's goin' on with you?"**

 **"I'm keeping an eye out for a few cash cows around town, might have to pay someone a visit at their house tonight."**

 **"You're doing that by yourself?"**

 **"Juice usually comes with me, but he's been glued to his computer the last few days."**

 **"I'm free tonight, call me if everyone's busy."**

 **"Are you worried about me?"** I asked in a teasing tone and he huffed, smiling.

 **"I'm worried about what you'll do unsupervised. I gotta get to work, Tig's inside."** He pat me on the shoulder and went to a station where a Honda Accord was waiting to be tampered with.

Before I went inside, I saw Half-Sack come out of the office and handed some keys to a customer. He was leading the woman to one of the stations, but I stole him for a second. I asked him to keep a lookout for a maroon Nissan Sentra and scribbled the license plate down on his hand. I went inside the clubhouse and saw Rat and Miles cleaning up a bit. I smiled when Rat didn't call me ma'am and pat him on the cheek.

Like Opie said, Tig was in his room and he was shirtless, sitting on the edge of the bed as he scrolled though something on his Burner. His rings and cut were off, but he still had his cuffs on. He glanced at the door and smiled when he saw me. I took my sneakers off and sat behind him, my hands starting to rub his shoulders. I heard his soft groan and started kneading the tight muscles, feeling him start to relax as I continued. When he felt loose enough, I stopped and rested my chin on his shoulder, scattering kisses on his cheek.

I gave him a final kiss on the corner of his lips and leaned back in the pillows. Tig rotated his shoulders and stretched before he laid against me, his head on my stomach. He was still going through his Burner, so there was something important he was studying and I wasn't going to disturb him. One hand was on his bare chest and the other was in his hair tracing his curls.

After another minute or so of silence, I heard the phone snap shut and Tig softly sighed, his hand going over mine on his chest.

 **"How's your leg?"** He asked, his free hand gently rubbing over the spot where my stitches were. **  
**

 **"Itching like crazy. It's fine though."**

 **"Did you go see Mom since you've been back?"**

 **"No, I've been waiting for things to calm down around here. I'd go now, but I don't wanna be away from you."**

 **"I haven't been spending enough time with you."** He muttered that like he was thinking out loud and it made me smile. He was such a sweet man. Tig turned around and tugged me down, making me giggle when I was under him. He wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled into my neck. **"I'm gonna make it up to you, angel. We're gonna have a whole day to ourselves after we get things settled. We'll ride up to Portland if we have to."**

 _ **"** **Noooo.**_ **Nobody needs to go to anywhere near Oregon."**

 **"What's wrong with Oregon? You and Happy were living there for years."** I went silent and Tig pulled his head back to look at me. He raised an eyebrow to signal to start talking and I mumbled the reason why, peeking at him after. He didn't look satisfied and I was silently cursing when he flipped our position, me on top of him now.

 **"...I've got a warrant in Oregon..."** I mumbled louder this time and he started snickering.

 **"An outstanding one?"**

 **"It's not a normal warrant, not felonious."**

 **"What kinda warrant is it then?"**

 **"A...court-ordered involuntary mental health warrant..."** I gave Tig a nervous smile and he just stared back at me. He looked curious, but I don't know if it was because he thought I was insane now or if he really wanted to know the reason behind it. I took his silence as my cue to explain and I took a breath to prepare myself for _this_ story.

 **"When I was 16, a shrink came to the Detention Center I was in and he evaluated all the inmates in C-block. The next day, the guards are telling me to pack up my shit because I was getting out. They sent me to Nightingale Psychiatric Hospital in Klamath Falls. I was diagnosed with** **Pyromania, Borderline Personality Disorder, Sadistic Personality Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder and Intermittent Explosive Disorder. After a month of being drugged and forced into a straitjacket, which I did not respond kindly to, I was granted visitation privileges and Happy got me out of there a few days later. The warrant was for my escape and because I attacked 5 of the employees while I was there. I've got my patient number stamped on my wrist."** I held my right hand up and Tig's eyes flicked to my wrist to read the ink, 347-B19.

There were 2 things in this world that truly scared me: Owls and going back to that nuthouse, but I'd rather be trapped in a room with a starving family of Great Horned owls before I went back to that place. That was the main reason Happy was trying to get us to Charming as quickly as possible. A couple days after my escape, I was running from a pair of employees from the center that were sent to look for me. One of them shot me in the ass with a Ketamine dart and that is one powerful drug. I started getting numb a few seconds after. Once the drug wore off and I could move again, I slugged home to Happy and we were on the road to a new place within the hour.

I looked down at Tig and he still had that blank, questioning look on his face. I waited for him to say something, but he just kept staring at me. Happy didn't tell anybody about what happened in Oregon and I didn't either. Juice asked about the numbers on my wrist and for some reason, he was convinced I was a Holocaust survivor. The things that man thinks of.

 **"I don't know if this is good or bad,"** Tig finally said something and caught my attention. **"But I'm _extremely_ horny right now."**

 **"What?"** I scoffed, smiling. **"You find mentally unstable women attractive?"**

Tig nodded and I couldn't help but laugh at how childish he looked. I don't know why I would've thought he would be appalled by that. Our family was full of unstable and deranged people, but I was the only one who was professionally evaluated. I think I was the only one who didn't drop of of high school either.

I slid off Tig and laid next to him, keeping one leg on his with my arms wrapped around his chest. His arm was curled under my back and his hand was rubbing my arm. His fingers danced down until they got to the bottom of my tiered denim skirt and were gliding along my leg. A simple touch from him had me tingling and my body was getting hotter. I could feel myself starting to blush.

Tig laid on his side and his hand glided between my thighs, his knuckles brushing the crotch of my panties. I lightly sighed when he started rubbing the dampening material and put my hand on his bare chest, starting to go down. When I got to his belt, he grabbed my hand and put it on the back of his head.

 **"This is just for you. baby."** He whispered in my ear and I gasped when his thick finger dipped inside me, lightly tugging at his hair.

Tig kissed my neck and was mumbling sweet things into my skin, that he loved me and that I was beautiful, things that made me tingle. When he bit down on my skin, he added another finger and I moaned, spreading my legs wider for him. I was wearing a flowy, violet-red tank top and a bandeau under it. Tig kissed the skin that the neckline exposed and I was writhing, starting to ride his curled fingers. He had this mind shattering rhythm that was deliciously infuriating. He'd go as deep and fast as I needed him to, then he'd slow down just when I was really enjoying it.

I thought I was going to go insane from his torture, but I let out a long, downright whorish moan when I felt his thumb rubbing my clit. He didn't slow his pace and my panting got faster as my orgasm got closer, my body on fire until it exploded. Tig was still pumping his fingers into me at that perfect pace and had me writhing, moaning his name when I came undone. He kept rubbing my sensitive clit until I saw stars and my legs started twitching, feeling numb.

I opened my eyes and the hunger of lust had me locked in its hold, coating my body in a libidinous heat. I turned my head, planning to pounce on Tig, but I was alone in his bed. I started to think I passed out, but I heard him rummaging around in the bathroom. I got up and walked to the door, peeking in. He had short sleeved button up on and it was opened. his back to me. I quietly crept over to the sink and sat on it, sliding my panties off. When Tig turned around, he didn't look surprised to see me there, even smiled at me.

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him to me, kissing him with an overpowering hunger. I felt his hands going up my legs again and I heard his low groan when he felt I didn't have any underwear on. I undid his belt and pushed his jeans down, hearing them hit the tiled floor. I took him in my hand and gave him a few strokes. He was already hard and I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer to where I needed him.

 **"I gotta go, baby."** He panted against my neck, but I didn't care.

I felt his hands on my thighs, but I managed to get him inside of me before he could pull away. He groaned into my neck and I could feel myself buzzing with arousal. My hands went under his shirt and down his back, pulling it down in my path. They rested on his ass and pushed him into me, provoking a rhythm to start. Tig must've lost the restraint he had because he pulled me to the edge of the sink and started bucking into me, hard and deep like I loved it. One hand was in his curly hair again and the other was holding on to his shoulder as he plowed into me, his lips on my neck while I was moaning into his ear.

 **"Tig, time to go!"** I heard Chibs call under my pleased mews, but Tig didn't stop.

When he called for him again, Tig growled and pulled me on him. He pushed me against the wall furthest from the door and continued thrusting into me. He pulled my tank down enough to show the tube-like bra and tugged that down too, his mouth gently biting, then sucking around the skin to leave reddish-purple marks. I opened my eyes when I heard the door open, but closed them again, moaning with Tig at the pleasure coursing through our bodies.

 **"Jesus, you 2 are horrible."** I heard Chibs chuckle, but Tig didn't stop and for some reason, it turned me on having someone watching us. **"Let's go, Tig."**

 **"5 minutes."** He growled against my neck. **"5 fucking minutes."**

 **"Sorry, brother. We're runnin' late, gotta go _now_." ** I started whining 'No' like a child as Tig reluctantly slowed down until he was stationary and I groaned, resting my head back on the wall. This bites.

Tig was panting against my chest and I heard him mutter 'sorry' before he set me on my feet, putting a few feet between us. He was angrily muttering something as he fastened his jeans and when he did, he punched the mirror, cracking the glass. He looked over his shoulder at me and said sorry again, but I grabbed his cut from the toilet. He slid his arms through and turned to face me to let me button his shirt while he fixed mine. I checked to see if his hand was bleeding and kissed his knuckles when I saw that they were clean of blood. I pulled my underwear back on and took his hand to lead him back into his room where Chibs was leaning against the wall, smirking when he saw us.

Tig put his rings on and hugged me, telling me he'd make up for us being interrupted. He looked annoyed at how he kept saying he'd make up things for me, but I knew things were a bit hectic with the Club right now and I knew he'd keep his word. Chibs pulled Tig away from me by his shoulders and I've never seen the hardcore Sergeant-At-Arms look so miserable and dejected at the same time.

 **"Cheer up, Tigger. She'll be here when we get back. You can play with me 'til then."** The Scot kissed Tig on the cheek and they quickly made their way out of the clubhouse, the sound of motorcycles revving almost instantly.

I put my shoes back on and made my way to the kitchen. Chuck was missing, but he had something baking in the oven that smelled wonderful. I made a sandwich and headed to the garage. Through the window, I saw Chuck at the desk and I wondered where Gemma ran off to. I sat on one of the picnic tables outside and other than the workers, I saw Kozik under the hood of a teal Ford Fiesta. He must've switched out with Opie.

 **"Hey, Talia."** Miles called and jogged over **. "Sack said you were looking for a car. I just got finished with it, guy's in the office."**

I almost choked on my sandwich, but got up to go peek at the man in the office. The owner of the car was my next paycheck named Derek Eason and I was about to cash it. According to my contact, he stole a box of 'sensitive merchandise', aka drugs, and I was supposed to bring the dope back to a town called Lone Star near Fresno.

When I saw the man, I told Miles to let him pay and I got in my car. I watched Derek get into his car and start to drive out of the garage. Before I could start tailing him, my passenger door opened and Kozik got in, pulling his cut on.

 **"Opie."** He simply explained and I started following Derek, keeping a few cars between us. **"So, what did you get into?"**

 **"My Bounty work. I'm tracking him to his place, breaking in, taking what he stole and getting it back to its rightful owner. I'm probably gonna burn the place down afterwards."**

 **"I was talking about the bite marks."** I felt him poke one of the spots on my neck and I smirked. **"He said you were good, but geeze."**

I laughed at that and glanced at Kozik, seeing him smiling face. He and Tig have been continuously getting on better terms since he first came around the clubhouse.

We trailed Derek for another hour and he finally stopped at a place near the outskirts of Charming. He was still within the town's border, but he was cutting it close. We were watching him go inside the only house out in the middle of nowhere with a cardboard box that was probably the drugs he stole. There were no other cars parked outside and I didn't see someone peeking out the window every few minutes, so I think he was in there by himself. I already had my pistol and I grabbed the silencer from the glove compartment along with my lock pick set and black bandanas for me and Kozik. He was loading a Jericho 941 and I was waiting for him to put a suppressor on it, but he just tied the bandana around his neck and pulled it up to his nose, ready for action.

 **"You got a muzzle for that?"**

 **"No, why?"**

 **"You need one. Leave that in here."** I popped the trunk and Kozik followed me to the back of my car.

Along with bottles of lighter fluid, acetone, paint thinner, premade Molotov Cocktails and 2 gallons of Antifreeze, I had a few handguns in here with suppressors and I gave Kozik the Ruger P89. Tig's a fan of Ruger guns and I always made sure to keep one in my car. Kozik and I crept to the house and were on either side of the front door, listening for any movement inside. When we didn't hear anything, I easily picked the lock and we were back to back as we slowly entered the silent house.

I stopped Kozik in the middle of the living room and listened to the muffled noise right above us. We quietly climbed the stairs and the noise turned out to be Derek and someone else, a woman from the sound of it. They were arguing about something in the bedroom and I counted down on my fingers before I shoved the door open, guns aimed on the startled couple.

 **"Is anyone else in the house?"** I asked, my voice slightly muffled by the cloth around my face. Derek slowly shook his head and I forced him face down on the bed, Kozik doing the same to the woman.

I gave him my gun and took a pair of zip-ties from my back pocket, restraining both their hands. We took them downstairs and put them back-to-back in a pair of chairs from the kitchen.

 **"Where's the Klonopin?"** I asked, standing in front of Derek, but he didn't answer and I had a feeling he was going to need some convincing to start talking.

I was about to go rummage around the kitchen for something to use on Derek, but I saw the woman squirming behind him. She started whimpering too and I looked at Kozik. He put his hand over her eyes, pulled the cloth from his face and mouthed 'Junkie'. Figuring out my new angle, I went to the woman and she looked more nervous than Derek, her blue eyes almost wildly darting around the room. Her skin was paling and her twitching was becoming more frequent. I tugged my bandana down and stared at her.

 **"Tell me where the K-pin is and I'll give you half."** The woman looked at me then and I knew I had her full attention.

 **"They're gonna kill us, Becca!"** Derek shouted, but Becca didn't seem to hear him because she was still staring at me like I was her salvation.

 **"Where'd he put the box?"**

 **"In the basement, door's in the kitchen."** She quickly blurted out and Derek started losing his shit, calling her all sorts of horrid names. I nodded to Kozik and heard his silenced gun go off. He must've shot Derek in the leg because he was groaning over there, but staying quiet. **"I can have some, right? Y-you said I could. I told you where it was. I'll do whatever you want, just...please, I-I _need_ it."**

She was trembling with need and I had to wonder how long ago it was since her last fix. Maybe Derek was trying to get her clean. I whispered to Becca to close her eyes and she did. I stood up and shot her in the temple. Her dead weight made the chair topple over and Derek started his shit again, but he got a bullet to the back of his head. Like I was instructed, I pulled out my Burner and took a picture of Derek's lifeless body to show to my client.

Kozik seemed to be watching for further instruction and we went into the basement, finding the door next to the fridge. Still being cautious, we crept down the wooden steps and I felt around the wall until I flicked the lights on. From the looks of it, Derek stole parts from cars and had them in milk crates around the cellar. I went looking in one direction while Kozik was in another. I found a metal shelf and the only cardboard box was on top of it.

I used the racks to boost me to the top. I set the box down and opened it. It was stacked to the top with orange, sky blue and white pills with a K cutout in the middle. I tucked the box under my arm and Kozik called me from the other end of the cellar. He was looking in a pair of wooden crates and I whistled when I saw what caught his attention, TEC-9s and MP5Ks to match.

We rummaged around the cellar until we found duffle bags for the guns and we put them in my car. We took a few cans of paint thinner and lighter fluid and drenched the living room and all the furniture in the chemicals. I made sure to soak the corpses with paint thinner and we drenched the walls next. I turned on the gas stove and was making a path of lighter fluid in the dirt a few feet from the house. I chucked the empty bottle in the opposite direction and Kozik gave me a matchbook. I struck one and flicked it on the trail.

I couldn't help but get excited when the track started to ignite and the growling flames ran towards the house. When it got to the backdoor, it took a very theatrical moment of hesitation, but I saw the mushroom like whoosh of the flames from the window and the inside of the house started burning, quickly engulfing the property and making the windows shatter. I was jumping up and down like an excited puppy at the massive source of fire and I threw my hands up, cheering at my work. Fire was such a majestic thing, so beauteous and destructive.

 **"Isn't it beautiful?"** I asked animatedly asked Kozik as I walked backwards to my car and he shook his head, smiling at me. **"Ugh, I'd go in there if I could. I just wanna sit in it, make myself apart of it, you know? Be _consumed,_ cleansed by it."**

 **"I knew something was wrong with you."** Kozik said as he drove. I was in the backseat inspecting the pair of bags filled with guns and zipped them up, climbing in the passenger seat. **"We should do this again."**

 **"You wanna come out with me again?"**

 **"Yeah. Without a patch, I'm stuck doing grunt work most of the time and you said Juice has been busy lately, so I could fill in until he's available again."**

 **"I only have 1 rule: they see your face, they die. End of discussion. You okay with that?"** Kozik nodded and I pat him on the shoulder, welcoming our new alliance.

He got a call a minute later and I took over steering while he talked. He was keeping a hushed voice, but my prying ears picked up SAMCRO lingo and I knew one of the Sons was talking to him. I overheard, what sounded like Bobby, telling him to rally at the clubhouse and we'd go there after I dropped off the drugs. The trip to Lone Star wasn't very long and my client was waiting in an empty parking lot for us. I showed him the picture and got 12 grand for the kill along with another 3 for the box of pills. I let Kozik have the 3 grand and I already knew he was going to blow most of it up at the Den on my Kittens.

When we pulled into TM, I parked in the garage and it looked like business was shut down for a moment. I wondered if the Sons were having a meeting. With all the trouble lately, I'm sure they'd be happy to see what we picked up.


	16. Chapter 16

**X~Tig~X**

Bullshit, complete and utter fucking **bullshit.**

We just got back from a meeting with Cameron and not only did we have to wait until next month to get our hands on any firepower, got shot at in broad fucking daylight and had Luann nagging our ears off about us owing her money, but we finally figured our who the hell's been brewing the shit storm that got our attention. Jimmy O'Phalen, the face of the goddamn IRA. The man was the green nobody had the audacity to even look at crooked and he was just a terrible person in general. He probably murders puppies for fun.

The man was obviously doing things however he saw fit now, not that the oh-so powerful Irish Kings would interfere with whatever he did, because he had McKeavey killed, knowing he was our Irish pipeline and that shoot-out in the bar was him warning us to back the fuck off from making a new partnership with Cameron. To piss on the fire, Chibs has been a hair's length away from blowing his goddamn lid since we found out who's been pulling the strings and he was going to cause a nuclear cataclysm if it meant getting Jimmy alone. He was thinking about his wife and daughter though, if they would be safe if we did anything to retaliate.

We were all sitting in the Chapel now, waiting for Chibs to come back in and tell us if SAMBEL had any information on what Jimmy would be doing stateside. Cameron went into hiding with his son and said he'd be fine, that he'd call when he felt like the heat died down. The last thing we needed was another supplier getting killed and Cameron seemed determined to stick with us. That was probably the only good news we got today. The doors opened and Chibs came in with Juice. He took his seat next to me, all eyes on him.

 **"Jimmy'O has lost his goddamn mind."** He started, looking at each of us. **"He's been up in Belfast causin' all kinds of trouble and blew a few people's heads off, people that were important to the IRA. Father Kellan Ashby was the consigliere to the True IRA, he's dead now. Jimmy's trying to unravel the organization and he hasn't gone after the Kings, but he's spilled the blood in our North Atlantic charter when they tried to stop him. Keith McGee, First Nine, SAMBEL president."**

Juice gave a picture to Bobby and it circled around the table. When It got to me, I saw McGee in a very bloody situation and the only thing I could clearly see was his horrified face, but there were X's carved over his eyes.

 **"Liam O'Neill, Sergeant-At-Arms."** Juice gave us another picture and O'Neil was dangling a few feet above ground with his stomach cut open, his intestines spilling out.

Juice had 1 more picture in his hand and he was waiting for Chibs to continue, but he didn't and Jax reached over to take the photo. He passed it over to Clay and he sighed when he saw it, putting it face down on the table.

 **"Padriac, his nephew."** He said gravely and briefly flicked the picture up for us to see it, but I couldn't really pinpoint what I saw. It looked like Chib's nephew was lying on a goddamn war field, but I couldn't see any details because Clay put the picture down.

 **"He and about 6 others were blown to** **pieces** **."** Chibs said gravely, his eyes holding a silent rage that all of us could feel. **"He was there for SAMBEL's gun shipment and Jimmy'O blasted them to** **bits** **. Haven't seen the kid since he was 15 and when I do, he dead and nobody can find all of him."**

 **"We're gonna find that asshole, make him pay for the shit he's done."** Happy rasped from the end of the table, toothpick in mouth. He caught Chibs' attention and they both had this blasphemous look in their eyes.

 **"You bet your arse we are."** Chibs agreed and seemed a tad less hostile. **"Jimmy's stateside 'cause he's on the run. He's gone rogue and the IRA wants nothing to do with him, cut him off from their cause and wants him dead. If anything, he's over here to strike a deal with anyone who can get him on another continent. We've got some names on who'd he be most likely to contact and narrowed it down to the Russian Mafia, leader's name is Viktor Putlova."**

 **"Russians are greedy commies."** Jax thought out loud. **"Viktor would want a lot of money to transport Jimmy and at least double that to hand him over."**

 **"You got an estimate on how big that number is?"** Bobby asked.

 **"More than we can afford. We don't have any guns to sell and we just payed for Cameron's shipment, so we've got what? 5K in the treasury?"**

 **"Just about, but Luann's been bitching about some cash we owe her."** Everyone started jeering then, waving off whatever the hell Luann wanted from us. **"We _do_ owe her though and we gotta do something about this Georgie Caruso shit or she's not gonna shut the fuck up."**

 **"The last thing we need is her going up to Stockton and getting a message to Otto, man's got enough on his plate."** Clay muttered, stroking his chin as he thought. **"Alright, Luann can wait, but I think we can convince Caruso to donate a nice profit to our organization. He's been operating in Charming and I think we deserve a commission for letting him work on our territory."**

 **"My fight might get us another 5 or 6K."** Sack spoke up from the sofa behind Juice and the mood seemed to be getting elevated due to all the suggestions getting voiced.

 **"I'll get my hands dirty, get us a few stacks."** Happy added and Clay nodded in appreciation. **"I'll ask Talia if she can throw us some more dough, see how her Bounty work's commin'."**

 **"Leave her cathouseout it it, huh?"** Clay asked. **"I know she'd give us every penny her brothel has, but I don't want that. The money she takes goes right back into the house and she's probably throwing those wetbacks a few dollars for protection, so we're not gonna disrupt the balance. That's her business, it's legit and I don't want SAMCRO tied to it, no blowback on her or her girls."**

 **"She could start fightin' again, get her in there with Sack."** Chibs pondered, glancing at me almost in asking for my authorization. He was her trainer and in charge of her when it came to her fights. I never interfered and neither did Happy. **"That 6K turns into _16K_ , maybe more dependin' on who's seen her movie from Moscow. Her ribs should be fine by now and I've been gettin' requests from some other girls wantin' to go a round with her. I gotta see how those stitches are doin', but she should be good to go."**

 **"Until we get the guns next month, our source of income is gonna have to be fighting and Happy's** **uh, '** **delicate' work. Feel free to throw out any suggestions on getting us some cash."**

 **"I say we post Juice on the corner and let him be a fuck toy for a few weeks."** I offered and made the boys laugh. Juice even cracked a smile, but he was trying to fight it. **  
**

 **"Everyone content on where we stand?"** Clay asked with a chuckle, gavel in hand, and we all gave some form of approval. **"Adjourned."**

The gavel came down and everyone got up to pile out of the Chapel, heading to the bar to lounge around. I took my phone out to see where Talia ran off to, but she was coming in with Kozik. She had duffel bags on her arms and a smug smile on her face to match Kozik's.

 **" _I am an arms dealer  
Fitting you with weapons in the form of TEC-9s." _**Everyone smiled at her lovely singing, but when we actually _heard_ what she said, we were on our feet.

Talia went to the nearest pool table and set the bags down, sitting next to them. Jax unzipped the bags and pulled out a TEC-9 just like she said, but Clay had an MP5K in his hand. We all crowded over the bags and had one of the guns in our hands, inspecting or drooling over them. The TEC-9s would run for about $600 a piece and the MP5Ks were almost 20 grand a pop. We'd be able to to drop an early payment on our next shipment and that meant early arrival.

 **"Who's guns did you steal?"** Opie asked and Talia's jaw dropped like she was insulted.

 **"I don't steal, I discreetly seize and the guy who _stole them_ is dead, so he didn't need them."**

 **"You stole guns from a dead man?"** Jax asked.

 **"No...well, yes...well...he was dead before we got them and they weren't his in the first place...know what? Go fuck yourself, Jax. All praise goes to Kozik 'cause he found them."** Even with what she just said, everyone went over to give Talia some kind of thanks and Kozik was next, getting a rougher form of gratitude. She was rummaging through the bags and tossed a wad of cash to Bobby. **"I know you guys are a little strapped on cash, so I came up with another 10G for the Club."**

 **"I could kiss you right now."** Jax smiled and she had one of the MP5Ks steadily aimed at his crotch.

 **"Jackson, I will shoot your dick off if you try to put your lips on me."** He settled for blowing her a kiss and she lowered the gun.

Everyone else basically did a goddamn dogpile on her and after they untangled themselves, her hair was wild and she was smiling. I sweetly thanked her and gave her a kiss, managing her messy mane. She always took care of us. We'd be assed out and she'd find a away to get us back on our feet in no time.

 **"C'mon, Tal, let's celebrate."** Juice pat his back and she climbed on, getting carried away to the dorms. If I knew those 2, they were about to get stoned.

Talia called Kozik and told him to come join them, but I stopped him before he got to far. The boys were still gawking over the guns and Bobby went back into the Chapel, probably to put the money in the safe. I asked Kozik if I could have a minute and we walked down the hall, a few doors away from Juice's room. I could hear muffled music coming from the other side and it sounded like a Nirvana track, _Aero Zeppelin_ from the beat.

 **"I already know where this is going."** Kozik said and I leaned on the wall, waiting for him to elaborate. **"You still don't trust me and I get that. It's gonna take a lot of time, but I'm prepared to wait it out. This talk though, it's about Talia. She's your Old Lady and you don't want me near her. Opie asked me to go with her because he went with you guys to see Cameron and I didn't want her going anywhere alone. With Jimmy in the States, I was worried.** **"**

 **"Sounds like you really care about her, love her even."** I pondered and he sighed.

 **"Yeah, I do."** He said and his tone was as serious as a heart attack, his eyes hard as steel. I slid down against the wall and Kozik did too. **"I'm not going anywhere, Tig. I'm not leaving this Club and she's part of it, so I'm just trying to be friendly.** **I** **'m not gonna hurt her."**

I took his words in and almost felt like Happy when he was ready to let go, when he gave her to me. My protective intuition was at its peak and I didn't know if I was ready for that, ready to let him get close to her. The last time we both loved a female, she ended up dead and it was his fault. Losing Talia because of him would be my breaking point. I would go insane and slaughter him, rip his legs off and beat him to death with them.

I haven't brought up Missy since he came here, never said her name, but I've hinted around her. He knows how hard her death hit me and he's been keeping things pretty calm after our first scrap when I didn't vote him in. We've been working together and talking, being friendly...brotherly even. I'd always hate him for what happened, but maybe it was time to leave the past where it belonged, behind us. Granted, it was going to take _a very long time_ for me to let him get close to Rouge, not that she'd be willing to meet him, but we were taking baby steps.

 **"** **She's...my everything.** **"** I admitted, my head leaning back on the wall. **"I've told her about Colleen, Dawn and Fawn, about all I've done for this Club, about my fucked up parents, when I was a Marine and everything else that made me who I am. She knows _everything_...and she accepts it. She knows how tainted my soul is and she still finds a way to love me. She makes all those evil voices in my head go away. It's gotten to the point where I love her so much that I would massacre everyone on this goddamn planet if something happened to her, I _need_ her. She's been through more than enough and she doesn't need any bullshit in her life. If you're gonna stick around, be here...you'd better not hurt her."**

 **"I-"**

 **"Because not only will I fucking slaughter you, but after the guys have had their go, Happy's gonna rip your goddamn soul out."** I added that extra part more as a last chance opportunity for him to get out of this while he still can.

 **"I won't hurt her."** Kozik answered in a firm voice. I nodded in response and sighed. I felt like a weight was just lifted off my shoulders. The song playing from Juice room started to die down and I could hear Talia's sweet laughter, calming me. **"So, what's your plan for her? You guys trying for a kid?"**

 **"Once she starts asking for a baby, she'll get one."**

 **"What about marriage?"** I didn't answer him right away, I closed my eyes and remembered Talia's sleeping face early this morning.

I've been waking up to that for years now, but I never felt like it was completely mine, that she wasn't. I wanted to marry her, start a family with her. From the first time I kissed her, I knew Talia should've been my first and only wife. She should've been the mother of my first child and I think she'd be a damn good one too. She loved entertaining the kids when we were on lockdown and she knew how to handle them. I already had everything planned out for our married life. I picked out a ring, paid it off and had it tucked away in my dorm. I even picked out a bigger house for us to move into. I wanted a pretty big family this time, maybe 3 kids. I got a pair of girls the first time, so I'm expecting boys this time.

The only thing I had to do was go get the ring and ask her. It seemed easy enough, but it was far from simple because she had the option of saying no. I couldn't marry her without her knowing about that stupid gash. It would wreck our marriage and keeping it a secret would only make things worse. I still had to find the courage to tell her I cheated, but I didn't want her to leave me. Guilt though...it eats people from the inside out.

 **"Same thing. She asks, she gets it."** I finally answered. **  
**

 **"You've turned into such a soft pile of shit, Trager."** I opened my eyes then, seeing Kozik smiling his ass off. I mocked him and punched him in the leg when I stood up. **"Does this mean you're gonna vote 'yea' to my patch-in?"**

 **"Jack Frost will hand out snow-cones to all the demons in Hell before I vote you in. Nice try though."** I pat him on the shoulder and he scoffed, but I was headed down the hall.

I opened Juice's door and could barely see past my own nose. It looked like they had a fog machine running in here and it smelled like berries. Juice and Talia were perched on Cloud 9 and were laying side by side, arms hanging off the bed with stoner smiles plastered on their faces. There was a pile of joints on the space between them and I saw a pair of grinders on the floor, one was crimson and the other green. I shook my head when I saw their names inscribed on them. These 2 were horrible when it came to smoking.

 **"I just thought of something..."** Talia mumbled and Juice grunted to signal he was listening. She opened her eyes a bit, but I don't think she could see us. **"You know the people...who made the first clock?"**

 **"Yeah."**

 **"...how did they know what time it was...if there weren't any clocks?"  
**

 **"...they read the...rays on the...ocean."**

 **"They read...stingrays to tell time?"**

 **"Yeah...the...rays."** I was trying to keep my laughs quiet with Kozik as we listened to their strange stoned talking. **"Wait...when you erase a word, where does it go?"**

 **"Into the eraser and it...feeds the...pencil to let you write."**

 **"Ohh...oh my God, Tal..lis-listen.** **"** Juice shot up and was staring at the wall behind the bed. **"If blind people can't see anything and they've never saw the world before...how the fuck do they _see_ their dreams?"**

Talia started a sentence, but stopped it before she could say the first word. Her eyebrows were pulled together as she thought and Juice was staring up at the ceiling now.

 **"Juice, you just disturbed the cosmic balance of the universe!"** It took Talia a second to get upright, but she shoved Juice in the arm and he fell on the floor. Talia poked her head over the edge and had her butt in the air like a child. **"Apologize before something terrible happens!"**

 **"...apologize for what?"**

 **"...I forgot."** Talia slumped down then and I looked over the edge of the bed. Her head was on his and her hair was shielding both their faces. **"Hey, what color is a mirror?"  
**

 **"Bhang Granddaddy Purple."** I waved some of the smoke away and grinned at Kozik.

 **"That's a drug?"**

 **"It's a kind of pot. It's either that or Blue Blood. Tal taught me some of the stains. This isn't anything though. Give 'em another half hour or so and they'll be on a goddamn feeding frenzy."** Kozik chuckled and I smiled when I heard Talia's quiet giggles. **"We might be heading out again, got some info on that crazy green. Jax or Bobby'll bring you up to speed on what's been happening. You mind keeping an eye on her though?"**

 **"What about Juice?"**

 **"Nothin' to worry about there. Juice doesn't try to take his clothes off and aimlessly wander around California when he's high. He'll probably talk to the toilet and stuff his dick in some cupcakes, but her? Constant supervision."** Kozik smiled and nodded, stepping inside to pull the pair back on the bed.

He sat on the floor in front of them and they started their high chatting again, making him laugh. He tucked one of the joints behind his ear and they noticed him, started asking him all kinds of strange things. I noticed them then, Talia and Juice. Since she started coming around here, they've had this tight-knit bond that I couldn't even begin to understand, but I knew enough. They had a few years on the Prospects, but they were the youngest pair around here and they acted like teenagers. Barely a week after Talia was with us, Unser pulled into the garage with them in the backseat and they were laughing their asses off like they didn't have a care in the world.

Talia loved all of us, but there was something more with Juice. That was her brother and she was his sister. They had something special and I envied him for that. She loved him in a way that she could never love me and I was so stingy that I was jealous of him. Juice wasn't a threat though. It was obvious that he didn't have _any_ romantic feelings for Talia because he was the only one who could have her in his lap and **not** get a stiffy. He was teaching her how to do something technical on his laptop, Coding I think, and she was sitting in his lap typing away. The end result was making a fox move around on the screen, but I've never seen Talia so excited about something so basic. She said that was the first step in her plan to hack into the Pentagon.

I came out of my thoughts and smiled at them. They were shutting down, but this was the calm before the storm and we'd probably have to restock the kitchen when they got hungry. I grabbed a joint off the bed before closing them in there. I was only in there for a minute, but I knew my clothes reeked of their smoking session. Hell, I think I was starting to get a secondhand buzz.

I was about to go to my room to take a shower, but I heard Gemma call me from down the hall and I went out to the bar. The bags of guns were gone and I could only guess that Clay took Jax, Chibs and Opie out to sell them. I'd have to call to see where they were. Gemma stood in front of me and had her arms crossed, an eyebrow quirked and a half smirk on her lips.

 **"Someone's here for you, said they were looking for _Alex."_** I furrowed my brows when she said that. Other than Talia, nobody called me by my first name and for an outsider to just waltz over here and ask for me wasn't a good sign.

 **"Who is it?"**

 **"Some green-eyed n** **oirette, said her name's Kaylee. She's dressed like a skank and she looks like a newbie Junkie whore, so I'm guessing you didn't clean up your mess."** I closed my eyes and was cursing a mile a minute. The name wasn't ringing any bells, but the description was and I knew I should've done something to make that whore get far away from Charming. **"Remind me what I said about you fucking up."**

 **"You were going to cut my dick off."** I sighed and peeked at Gem, seeing her evil smirk.

 **"Right and would you like your balls diced or cubed?"** She chuckled and I sighed. **"I'll cut you some slack, Tigger. I'll keep my mouth shut if you get rid of that gash in the next 10 minutes. She's in the garage with Miles."**

 **"Thanks, Gem."** She hummed and I hugged her, but she pulled away. She smelled my shirt and raised an eyebrow in interest.

 **"Blackberry Kush?"**

 **"Even better, Bhang Granddaddy Purple and I smelled Blue Dream in there too."** Gemma told me to go clean up my mess and gave me a peck on the cheek, quickly making her way down the hall. If there was anyone who loved pot as much as Talia, it was Gem. They knew the strain names better than the alphabet.

I went into the garage and just like Gemma said, Katie, or whatever her name is, was sitting on the couch with Miles leaning on the wall next to her. When she saw me, she stood up and smiled, but Miles grabbed her arm before she could get anywhere. I remembered why I kept this one around now. She looked a lot like Talia, but she wasn't anywhere near as beautiful. Talia didn't need to have a bunch of makeup staining her face and I'm glad she was never the type to layer that crap on by the pound. Kiara though, she looked like a rejected clown's whore.

The garage wasn't booming with business and I told Miles to lock it down. Kaitlyn looked like a excited puppy that was trying to keep calm after not seeing its owner in weeks and I was debating on strangling her with a goddamn chain.

 **"I told you not to come back here."**

 **"I missed you, sweetheart. I just couldn't stay away."** She went to wrap her arms around me and I pushed them away, forcing myself not to throw this gash across the goddamn lot. **"I wanted to surprise you at work and um, I came to ask if you had any more Oxy..."**

She smiled again and I took a minute to register what the hell could be going through her head. She obviously caught feelings for me, but I don't understand how the hell that could've happened. I always told her to get the fuck out once I was finished. I never took her out on a date or even bothered to drop her off at home. I could barely remember her name for Christ's sake.

It was obvious that she was one of those women with a thick skull and she needed shit to be drilled in her head for her to understand, just like Ima. I had no problem with doing that.

I put my hands on Karrie's shoulders and caressed her neck. I could see her eyes sparkling with adulation, but it quickly turned to fear when my hand was clamped over her throat. I slammed her against the nearest concrete pillar and raised her a few inches off the ground. Both her hands could barely fit around the cuff on my wrist and her eyes were starting to water, her face turning red. I could tell she knew this wasn't like when we'd have sex. The roughness was limited to the bedroom and there was a certain degree we went to, but this was a life-threatening situation.

I could feel her trying to get as much air into her lungs as she gasped and struggled. She had that horrified look in her eyes that I never wanted to see on Talia and I always feared that I'd see it one day, but I wasn't worried about that right now. I had a message to get through to this ballsy cunt.

 **"Let's try this again."** I started slowly. **"Do not come back here and if I ever see your fucking face again, I will cut your stomach open and strangle you with your guts. Do you fucking understand me?"**

 **"It's...not...fair."** She choked out and I raised an eyebrow. **"I...was here...first. That bitch...with the purple hair...took...you away...from me."**

She gagged when I cut off her air completely and her nails were trying to claw my hand away, but her eyes were starting to roll to the back of her head. I could crush her fucking neck right now, kill her and never have to deal with any bullshit she could bring around here. It occurred to me that she's probably been watching the garage and she's seen me with Talia. I wasn't worried about my girl, but I didn't know what this whore was capable of. She knew my name and I wondered how, but I didn't pay it any mind.

 **"Stay away from my wife."** I growled in her ear and her eyes started to flutter shut, her fighting weakening.

I dropped Karly and she fell to the ground like a crumpled piece of garbage, gasping and choking as she fought to get her breathing back on track. Once she got herself together, she got up and looked like she was about to cry from the pitiful pout on her lips. I told her to get the fuck out and pulled one of the garage doors up, shoving her out. I heard her crying as she walked to a slate grey Hyundai Accent and I saw another woman waiting inside, probably one of her Junkie friends. I got a good look at the license plate and dashed into the office, writing it down on the first blank piece of paper I found.

If that bitch so much as texted me again, I was going to find her and break her fucking face.


	17. Chapter 17

**Saw a Review by** KelseyNicole08 **and it made me smile. Kaylee's been messing around with Tig basically the whole duration of Talia's leave and it's impossible not to get hooked on him. Oh, and I know my pot XD. Enjoy this chapter, things are gonna get pretty fierce in the next chapter.**

* * *

 **X~Juice~X**

I felt so cold. For a minute, I thought I was dying because I couldn't see anything and because of the lack of heat, but I managed to open my eyes. I was looking up at the fluorescent tube-lights of the bathroom and my arm was hanging on the toilet. I sat up a bit and there were half-eaten Butterscotch Krimpets all over me. I hated these things. I looked in the toilet and there were cheese curls floating around the blue water. My fingers were coated with the cheese too and my other hand was down my pants, loosely holding myself. This was a pretty normal state for the aftermath of a smoke session with Talia. Knowing her, she was dangling off the goddamn roof.

 **"You have some serious issues, Juice."** Kozik's voice came from the door and he was smiling at me. **"I've never seen someone masturbate with cupcakes and I never want to see it again."**

 **"Bhang Granddaddy Purple _and_ Blue Dream? That was one wild ride, man." ** I smiled and pushed myself up, making all the treats fall off me.

I felt sticky and knew I needed a shower, so I started heading to my room. I saw Miles waiting outside with Kozik, probably waiting to clean up the mess I made, and he shook his head at me, smiling. I wonder what I did this time. I took a quick shower and got all the stains of what High Juice did washed off me. I changed and met Kozik in the hall, but he raised an eyebrow at me.

 **"Talia wasn't in your room?"**

 **"No, why?"**

 **"She's not in hers either."**

 **"You lost her?"** I grinned and he paled. I scarcely remembered seeing he and Tig a little after we got stoned, so he must've asked Kozik to babysit us. Chibs usually kept an eye on us, but the guys must've gone out to put those guns on the market. **"How could you let her out of your sight?"**

 **"I had to keep you from drowning yourself in the toilet! You thought you were a goddamn fish or something! Tig is gonna kill me."** He groaned and started down the hall for Talia's room.

He looked in her bathroom and in her closet before he went to Tig's room. He searched in there and ran his hands over his face when he didn't find her. I knew a few places where Talia went when she was stoned, so I started looking. I went up on the roof first and she wasn't there. The next place was under the table in the Chapel and that was clear too. She wasn't behind the bar either. Rat was working in the garage and he told me the guys went out again, but he hasn't seen Talia. The only other place she'd wander off to would be to Gem's house to attempt to get in her pants because just like all of us, Talia had a crush on her too. I'm pretty sure all my brothers had a crush on my little sister too, but that was totally a different story that I never wanted to hear.

I called Gemma and she said Talia hasn't come by, but she'll keep an eye out. I called the Den next and Marco said the Devils were there, but Talia wasn't. I knew she wouldn't have gone home because she didn't want Rouge getting high, she wasn't here or at Gem's, so where the hell did she wander off to?

 **"Maybe she went to the park.** **She likes playing on the monkey bars.** **"** I thought out loud. **"Or she could be up on Elliott's ranch."**

 **"So call and see if she's there."**

 **"He wouldn't know. She only did it once, but she went missing for 2 days and Q** **uinn brought her back. He said she was on** **a horse and rode it all the way to Indiana Hills."**

 **"She could be anywhere between Charming and Nevada?!"**

 **"Dude, she could be anywhere between Charming and** ** _Arizona_** **by now. I wouldn't be surprised if we gotta call from SAMTAZ or SAMDINO tomorrow morning."**

Kozik started pacing and muttering about Tig having his head because he was supposed to watch Talia, but we didn't have the slightest clue where she could be. I was still worried about her because she could be anywhere, but she's been on a few runs with us and most of our other charters know her from that. Some of them reached out to us to hire her for a hit or to steal something for them.

We sat down for a second and contemplated on all the places Talia could've gone. She'd have a serious case of the munchies, so she'd go somewhere to get food and that narrowed it down to a few places, but she could find somewhere to relax to eat. That ranged from under bridges and anywhere in the Wahewa Reservation. The people there usually supplied Tal with Shrooms and they took it upon themselves to watch her until her high wore off. She'd usually be decked out in their tribal attire when she came back home, but she'd be in one piece. She could've found her way to one of the many spots we went to hide when we were running from the cops. This is why she needs to have a leash or a goddamn tracking device under her skin.

Before we could start a search, Kozik got a call and he said the guys were on their way back from another meeting with Cameron. That gave us about 20 minutes to look and that wasn't nearly enough time. Still, we were going to try. Before we could mount our bikes, the sound of a honking horn caught my attention and I looked to see who was pulling in. A cream Toyota Land Cruiser came in, but I was more interested in the metal trailer behind it. The driver got out and it was Elliot. He waved me over and I glanced at Kozik before going to him.

 **"Come to give us free pony rides?"** I asked with a smile, seeing the black horse through the holes in the trailer.

 **"Not today, Juice."** He chuckled. **"Someone spotted Renegade trotting around Mendota. When I found her, she was wandering around with your sister on her back. She found Fresno Slough and laid down next to the water with Talia like she was her foal, put up a bit of a fight when I separated them."**

 **"Tal's got a connection with animals."** Elliot laughed at me and pointed to the backseat of his car.

I looked through the window and a hand pressed against the glass, making me flinch. Another hand came up and Talia's messy purple hair started rising as she pulled herself up. She looked like she was still a little buzzed and she didn't have any shoes on, but she was still clothed for once. I opened the door and caught her before she fell out.

I started to hear Renegade nicker when she caught Talia's scent and I saw her press her nose to one of the slots on the trailer, sniffing. Talia mumbled something with a smile and reached out to the trailer. I couldn't imagine how connected she got to that horse in the few hours they were together. I thanked Elliot for bringing her back and he went to take his horse back where it came from while I took Talia inside. I stopped in the kitchen to get some cheese-whiz and yogurt cups for her impending hunger.

I took her to my room and set her down in bed, putting the treats next to her. I got my laptop and pulled the chair from her desk in front of the bed, setting it on top. I looked over my shoulder and Talia was already finished with the yogurt, starting with the spray-cheese. I logged on to our shared Netflix account and put on _Happy Tree Friends_ , knowing how much she liked the gory cartoon. It took a few episodes, but I eased up to the show and we'd always watch it after we got high. Her favorite character was Fliqpy and mine was Cuddles.

I laid down and heard the can spraying cheese. Talia came down to the end of the bed and nudged her head under my arm, offering me the nozzle. I opened my mouth and got some cheese. We watched a few episodes and once the cheese was gone, we went searching for more goodies. Somewhere between going to the kitchen, we decided that drinking would be good enough and stopped in the bar, hearing the guys pull in.

 **"Talia!"** Chibs called and she looked like she was about to duck behind the bar, but the guys piled in before she could. Nobody looked roughed up and I didn't see any blood, so nothing bad happened for once.

 **"I didn't do it. I don't care what anybody says. There isn't any proof and all the witnesses are dead."**

 **"What are you talkin' about?"** Chibs questioned. He looked a little happy before she said something. He was giving her that fatherly look now.

 **"...what were _you_ talking about?" **

They stared at each other and Talia leaned on the bar, a smile on her face. Nobody could lie to Chibs, it was something about his eyes, so Talia kissed him on the nose because she knew she couldn't. He sighed and narrowed his eyes at her, smirking.

 **"** **I need to check your stitches, but y** **ou get to start trainin' again. We're gonna get a couple matches booked after Sack's."**

 **"Awesome! Who's gonna be my sparring partner?"** Talia looked at all the guys with a huge smile on her face, but none of them dared to meet her eyes.

Excluding myself, Opie and the Prospects, everyone's gotten slugged by Talia and it was like getting into a brawl with a bodybuilder made of concrete. Other than that, we've been watching her fight since she was 17 and the woman was a goddamn beast. I couldn't imagine how she was when it was just she and Happy. I doubt he'd stop her when she needed to back off.

 **"You're all a bunch of pussies!"** Talia taunted, trying to get a reaction out of someone. **"How the hell can you be scared of a little girl like me? I'm 130 pounds and 5'5. All of you are double that, _tripped_** **in Bobby's case."**

 **"I'll spar with you."** Half-Sack answered and Talia clapped in joy, but everyone else was looking at him like he was insane. **"How hard could she it? Besides, I gotta start training too."**

Talia hopped over the bar and took Sack's hand, dragging him away while chattering a mile a minute about her fighting history; Chibs was following them out. Talia was probably going to coax Sack into the ring and I gave him at least 20 minutes before he was unconscious, 15 if he's lucky.

I saw Clay go into the Chapel with some papers, probably TM stuff, and I remembered the information he asked me to get him. It took a few days, but I got some personal information on a few names he asked for and I think this was going to get us one step closer to Jimmy. I went back into my room and grabbed the file sitting on my desk. I was in a half-jog down the hall when I almost crashed into Tig and he pulled me back into my room.

He had his hands on the door and his head was hanging between his arms. I felt like he was about to hit me, but I didn't know why he'd be mad at me because I haven't pissed him off lately. Still, I was getting a little nervous being trapped in a room with him and his weird temper. Talia wasn't around to keep him settled and that wasn't making me calm down either.

 **"Um...Tig?"** I asked cautiously, still unsure on how I should feel right now.

 **"I need you to do something for me."** He said and his voice was void of any emotion. Tig always had a bit of a sarcastic or teasing tone, but he sounded like someone just died.

He finally turned around and I tensed under his eyes. After a minute of just barely being able to stare back at him, I noticed he was holding out a sticky note to me and I took it. Reading it, I realized it was a license plate number.

 **"Is this about Jimmy or the Russians..."** I trailed off, hoping he'd give me a simple answer, but he didn't say anything and I did not want to look at him again because I could feel his eyes burning into my soul. **"I-it's just, I gotta know if this is Club related or personal or...you know, just in case you might need some help with whatever this leads to..."**

 **"It's personal."**

 **"O-okay..."** I retreated to my computer and started looking up the plate number in Charming PD's files, seeing Tig lean on the desk.

I wondered what he could want with this and why he seemed so...vicious. Maybe he had a lead on someone that could get us to Jimmy and he wanted to see where it went, but he could tell everyone about that. The only personal thing he could have to deal with would be something about Talia, but he wouldn't ask me to run her plates because she had nothing to hide and she hasn't done anything. Well, she did tell me about what she and Kozik did when they found those guns, but that wasn't anything to be worried about. Talia always cleans up her tracks when she does her work and the only thing left behind would be piles of burned wood and ashes.

The owner of the car was convicted before and their track record just came up. I furrowed my brows when I saw the woman though. She had black hair and green eyes. She reminded me of how Talia looked as a kid. Happy showed us some pictures he had of her tucked in his wallet and we got to see her natural black hair. This woman though, she wasn't anywhere as appealing as Talia, but there was a good resemblance. If she'd color her hair and throw on some makeup, she'd probably look like Tal's long lost sister.

Kaylee Megan Brewer's been convicted on drug charges since she was 16 and she owned a Hyundai Accent. I peeked at Tig from over the monitor and he was already staring at me, waiting really. He got up and took my laptop out of my hands, reading the screen. He set it down on the desk and put his hands on his belt, looking at the posters around my room.

 **"...did you..."** I stopped myself, but there were way too many questions buzzing in my head to keep quiet. **"When Tal was away...was** **she** **one of the women you hooked up with?"**

 **"Yeah."**

 **"...is she preg-"**

 **"Juice, you know how much I love her, right?"** He asked and his tone was lighter, but there was still something off about him. He still didn't look at me either. **"I'd do anything to keep her with me, keep her happy."**

 **"Tig-"**

 **"That gash comes around here again, you send her to my room and keep her in there. Don't let anyone see you, don't tell anybody who she is and not a word to Talia."**

 **"Are you cheating on her?"** Tig slowly turned around to look at me, but I wasn't nervous anymore and I stood up. His eyebrow quirked, but I stood my ground and had the most impassive look on my face.

This happened every time Talia was involved, I'd get so defensive and bold. I tried to be a laid-back guy because I didn't like anyone hating each other and I wanted to keep things calm within the family I was given. My brothers meant everything to me, but once Talia came along, she was my top priority. We had so much in common and it was impossible not to love her. She was just a bouncing ball of pure delight and she could make anyone feel better if they were having a shitty day. Of course, since we were closer to each other in the age genre, everyone was pushing me to start dating her and I thought that was extremely weird. I never had any amorous feelings for Talia, she was always my adorable baby sister in my eyes. One day though, we kissed each other just to make sure a relationship could never work and that was the most uncomfortable, awkward and atypical few seconds of my life.

 **"Don't ask questions, Juice."** Tig said and it sounded like a command. Another detriment about being one of the youngest people around here was that the guys always treated me like some artless toddler and they bossed me around all the time. **  
**

 **"You want me to sneak some whore into your room and I'm just supposed to be okay with that? You're fucking my little sister over, Tig."**

 **"You picked the worst time to grow some balls, kid."** He sighed and sat down, motioning for me to do the same, but I didn't. **"I'm not cheating on her. That gash is a leftover and I have to shut her up before she starts filling Talia's head with lies. I don't know how, but she knows my name and I think she's gonna do something really stupid. I'm just trying to keep the peace."**

 **"If you're not cheating and she's just some random girl who caught feelings, why don't you tell Talia that? She can handle it. She's gonna start fighting soon."**

 **"That's the hard way, Juice. The long, hard, painful and very destructive way. Tal doesn't need to know about this. Besides, my way is easy, quick and simple."**

 **"You've got a strange way of doing things _your way_ , Tig."**

 **"It works."** He shrugged and stood. **"Print that out for me and keep that pretty little mouth shut. We wouldn't want someone hot-gluing your lips together."**

 **"It's not smart to threaten someone who's got dirt on you."**

 **"I don't make threats, that was a promise and you don't have anything on me, kid. Tuck your balls back in your pants before they get cut off."** Tig walked out and I sighed, rubbing my eyes.

I hooked the printer up to my laptop and did as he asked, but I was still thinking about what just happened. I had to believe he was telling the truth because I knew how much he loved Talia. When she was gone, we had to hose him down to make him take a shower because he didn't bathe in weeks and he was walking around smelling like a garbage truck. He'd be in a really snappy mood too, having unpredictable episodes of anger when someone asked him a question. I haven't had a steady girlfriend since high school, but I knew he was going through the worst of things without her.

The other thing on my mind was what he'd do to that woman. One of the reasons why the Club kept Talia so close was because she could deal with any female problems we came across. We had a strict rule about not killing women, but she didn't apply to that and neither did Happy because he was Nomadic. Still, we never let him kill a woman when he was doing business for us, it was always Talia. She'd get them talking and get rid of them without another word.

That always fazed me about Talia. Happy's been in her life since she was a kid and his way of making a living obviously rubbed off on her, but we could all see how insane the Nomad was. There wasn't a light in Happy's eyes, he was a stone-cold killer and he knew it. Talia though, she's been buzzing around the Club like a happy little bee and she was probably the kindest person I knew. I admired how genuinely happy she always was, how at ease she could be.

The printer beeping pulled me back to reality and I took out another folder from my desk to put the papers in. I poked my head out of the door and saw what looked like Kozik rounding the corner going into the bar. I went to Tig's room and put the folder on his dresser, slipping out. This still didn't feel right and I felt like I was doing something wrong...that I was hurting Talia.

I went out into the bar and heard laughter getting louder. Opie just came in and he was laughing with Half-Sack hanging over his shoulder. The rest of the guys piled in after him and Tig came in last with his arm around Talia. She was blushing, but laughing and Tig was saying something in her ear that made her laugh more. He looked so jocund as he watched her, a small smile of his own growing as she leaned into him and he kissed the side of her head. He led her to an armchair and sat down first, pulling her in his lap with her legs over the edge.

Opie set Sack down on a sofa and everyone was still laughing.

 **"I kept tellin' you to guard your head."** Chibs chuckled as he peeled opened one of Sack's eyes and after looking, he started patting him on the cheek. **"A helmet isn't good enough to protect your noggin from Tal."**

Sack mumbled something and that made everyone laugh again. Chibs told him to shake it off and kept clapping his cheeks, still laughing. I could only guess that Talia got a few good hits in and the last one was enough to knock half his brain out. Half a sack, half a brain, the guy was going to be half of a human if he kept this up.

Everyone was teasingly chatting about the short fight and how Sack lost to a girl, letting me catch up to what happened. Jax got a quick call and he smiled when he flipped his Burner shut. When Opie asked where he was going, he said to Tara's which made everyone hoot at him...except Talia. I knew she didn't have any idea who Tara was or her history with Jax, but I could tell she didn't like her because she and Gemma have been giving Tara that predatory look since the first day she came here. Jax has been rushing off to be with her every time she calls and I was happy for him. He was with the woman he loved and he's been happier since she came back.

Most of the guys went to the bar and left Sack to get his brain to stop rolling around in his skull. Tig and Talia didn't move though and he wrapped his arms around her, lacing their fingers together over her lap. I knew he adored her and she did too, that's why he wasn't going to tell her about that woman. Apparently, the longer she didn't know, the better it was for them. That didn't seem right though because he was keeping a toxic secret from her.

If there's one thing I've learned from being a Son it was how deadly keeping secrets were. They tear you apart, turn you into to something your not and they kill bonds, destroy lives. They either put you in your grave and weigh you down closer to Hell or they get buried with you and they get dug up. Either way, someone gets hurt and they don't even know it until it's too late.


	18. Chapter 18

**X~Talia~X**

A horrid buzzing noise disrupted the peaceful quiet of our bedroom and I lightly groaned at it. It was morning now and I was in bed with Tig. He made himself comfortable on top of me. Last night, we came home together and watched a few movies. His eyes damn near shot out of his head when I told him I've never seen _Smokey and the_ _Bandit._ Once that was out in the open and I found out he had a copy of the movie, we watched it and I couldn't stop smiling at Tig. He was quoting the lines word for word.

Tig fell asleep laying between my legs, but he flipped over and his face was buried in my chest now. His arms were tightly wrapped around me and mine were around him, a hand in his hair like always. I was wearing a sports bra because Chibs has been making me do laps or practice on the punching bag every time he sees me. Half-Sack and I have been training for a few days now, but he knows better than to get in the ring with me after the first time. His first fight was a few days ago and I was seriously impressed with his skills. My fight night was next Friday and I couldn't wait to get in that ring.

That annoying buzzing still didn't stop and I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. Who'd be calling me at this hour anyway? If it was a client, they could wait because I refuse to be sociable before I've had a cup of coffee.

 **"Tig...the phone..."** I groused and he said something into my chest, but I didn't catch it. It made me smile though.

We were in the middle of bed and he reached over to the nightstand for his Burner, but his arm wasn't long enough. I felt him sigh and laughed when he rolled us over until we were on the edge of the bed. He almost fell out, but made sure I stayed on top of him and grabbed the phone.

 **"I don't have to be in 'till noon."** He muttered and flipped the phone shut, letting it drop out of his hand onto the carpeted floor.

I laid my head on his chest and his arms went around me, rubbing my back for a second. Of course, the phone started ringing again, but it was my Burner this time and I groaned, reaching on the nightstand for it.

 **"We're closed."** I sighed into the prepaid and I heard Chibs chuckle.

 _ **"Where's the spare key, lovey?"**_

 **"Bang on the space between the door and the window. It'll fall off the roof."** I shut the small device and heard a loud thud come from the living room. Rouge's head popped up from her cushioned pet basket next to the door and she growled, nudging the crack of the door open with her nose.

I heard a fierce warning bark from Rouge, but there wasn't another one and feet started piling inside. Tig chucked one of the pillows at the door to shut it and rolled us over again, his back to the door with me under him. I locked my legs around his waist and his boxer briefs got tugged down a bit, but he was nuzzling into my neck. I loved waking up with him. We'd always be in a cuddly mood and we'd roll around in bed for a minute.

 **"I love you, Tal."** He confessed into my skin and kissed the spot.

 **"I love you too."**

 **"...how?"** He whispered and slowly pulled back to look at me. Tig looked like he was on the verge of heartbroken tears and I sat up, sliding into his lap. A sudden mood change like that was never good. He hung his head and I wrapped my arms around him. He squeezed me back and I swear I could feel his tears on my shoulder. **"I'm a horrible person, Talia. I've done so many vile things in my life and they can't be washed away. I can't forget the things I've done, but you make them go away for a while and you make me feel like I'm not such a bad man...but it all comes back at night. I have nightmares about it all and you're always there at the end. Something horrible happens to you and I'm the one hurting you, but I wake up before you die. Every single night, something reminds me of the monster I am and that you...that you're gonna realize it someday and leave me..."**

 **"We've been through this, Alex."** I cooed in his ear, gently stroking his soft hair. **"You are a good man and I love you, I always will. I don't think anything could stop me from loving you. I'm not going anywhere either. You're all I know and I don't want anybody else."**

 **"I took advantage of you, Talia. You were a naïve teenager and I was basically preying on you."  
**

 **"Do you regret it?"** I asked and he quickly pulled back, shaking his head with his eyebrows pulled tightly together. **"Then it doesn't matter. I knew what I was getting into when this whole thing started and if I'm not mistaken, I came on to you."**

 **"But-"** I put my fingers on his lips and shook my head. **  
**

 **"I wanted to be with you then, I wanna be with you now and I'm gonna be with you in the future. Stop digging up old dirt, Alex. You're making yourself go crazy."**

Tig gazed into my eyes and I cupped his cheeks, putting my head on his. I told him I loved him again and he softly sighed, closing his eyes. For a moment, we stayed silent and close. Tig's been randomly doing this since I came back, suddenly becoming saturnine, and I was pretty used to it now. I already knew about the nightmares he had because when I didn't go to bed with him, I'd find him restlessly tossing and turning in his sleep. I'd listen to his little mumbles and my heart would break at every whimper or pleaded 'No' that fell from his lips. It'd always stop when he'd feel me next to him and he'd wrap himself around me as if I was going to be taken away if he didn't keep me close.

Those dreams would be about the things he's done for the Club, the murders. Happy told me of his Nomadic background and Tig had a few years on him in the SAMCRO charter, so he's been doing all the dirty work for a long time, probably since JT died and Clay became President. He had nightmares about that too, of the people he's butchered. That used to happen to me, but Happy taught me to get over it and I haven't seen a face of any of my victims since my second kill. The first time though, it was like a ghost was following me and every time I closed my eyes, every time I fucking blinked, I'd see their face and it almost drove me mad. That morbid presence would be the star of my nightmares and it'd be like I was drugged by Scarecrow's Fear Toxin from Batman. Happy was there to make me forget it though. Well, push it out of my mind. A person could never forget when they killed another human being, but Happy taught me to stop thinking about it, made me feel like I forgot.

It was different with Tig though. With his Marine background, death was something he was used to and I'm sure that was one of the reasons he was given the Sergeant-At-Arms patch. He had a lot bottled up inside of him though, stuff he couldn't let out because old bones needed to stay buried and dusting them off wouldn't do anything except unearth a lot of pain. If he told me, I'd probably find myself in a whole new world of danger and trouble. I understood that though, why he didn't tell me everything about the things he's done because I couldn't tell him some of the things I've done either. I'm sure he wanted to, but he _couldn't_. He had no other choice but to keep quiet. He told me what he could and I knew that release meant a lot to him.

 **"You okay, baby?"** I asked and kissed his cheek, pulling back to look in his eyes. He still looked melancholy, but he looked like he was thinking too and I hoped that meant he was taking my words in.

 **"...we make mistakes..."** He muttered. **"Everyone...nobody's perfect and we all slip-up, but we can be forgiven for our faults...right?"**

 **"Yeah."**

Tig kept his eyes downcast, but looked at me and seemed to be searching my eyes for something. He sucked in a deep breath and when his eyes met mine again, all I saw was determination. He had my full attention now because my interest in whatever he had to say was keeping me from thinking about anything else. Based on what he said before, maybe he wanted to confess something about his past to me and I was all ears. When he told me about his ex-wife and 2 daughters, I understood why he wasn't in their lives. Honestly, it was for the best because when problems arise in the Club, family gets caught in the mix and the last thing anyone needed was for someone's kid to loose a limb or their life.

A knocking on our door made Tig growl a sigh and his head went to my chest again. Nobody called us from the other side, but I knew we should be getting up and ready for the day. The boys probably needed Tig at the clubhouse for something, maybe Church, and I knew Chibs was here for me. I gave Tig a kiss and he smirked at me, but I pushed him down on the bed. I had his wrists pinned down, but I knew he could overpower me if he wanted to.

 **"Keep your eyes closed and don't move."** I whispered in his ear and pulled back, seeing his eyes shut with a grin on his face.

I started kissing down his chest and my hands slid down his arms as I went lower. When I got to the waistline of his tenting boxers, I glanced up to see if he still had his eyes closed and he did. I got off the bed and ran into the connecting bathroom, quietly closing the door behind me. After I had a very quick shower, washed my face and brushed my teeth, I heard the locked knob trying to turn and laughed.

 **"You can't keep teasing me like this, Tal."** Tig said through the door and I just finished fishtail braiding my hair. **"I've got a raging stiffy out here."**

 **"So, handle it."**

 **"I'm way too old to masturbate."**

 **"Not my problem, Tig."**

 **"Do you know how hard it is to piss like this?"** I shook my head with a smile as I grabbed my dark sapphire, silk Kimono off the hook on the back of the door. The robe was covered in orchids and was about the length of a mini skirt, stopping a few inches past my thighs. I opened the door and Tig's rambling about him having a morning boner stopped when he saw me. **"Have I told you how incredibly beautiful you are?"**

 **"Ass kissing won't work today, Tiggy."** I pat him on the cheek and started walking past him, but his arms went around my waist and one of them grabbed a handful of my left cheek. **"Tig!"**

 **"You never said anything about ass squeezing."**

I squirmed out of his grip and shoved him in the bathroom, quickly escaping our room. I went into the living room and heard the TV on. Chibs and Kozik were sitting on the couch, but Kozik had his feet up on the coffee table. I quietly went over and plucked the side of his head, making him hiss. He almost fell off the couch and Chibs was laughing at him.

 **"Keep your feet off** **goddamn** **my furniture."** I scolded and Chibs got up, coming over to get a hug.

I kissed Kozik on the spot when I plucked him and pranced into the kitchen to start making breakfast like I promised. I was humming away as I poured the batter to the last chocolate chip waffle into the iron and pushed the top latch down. My smaller plate of waffles and bacon was done. Tig had waffles, bacon, eggs and 2 hash browns. The flap to Rouge's doggie door got pushed open and she came in just when the iron dinged to let me know it was ready. I plated the food and set it on the table.

Rouge grumbled and I looked down at her, smiling when I did. She had her purple bowl in her mouth and her tail was wagging across the floor. I took her bowl and scratched her ear, getting on my knees to get into the lower cabinet next to the fridge. I opened a can of dog chow for her and she started enjoying her breakfast when Tig came in. He looked at the table and smiled, coming over to me.

 **"Thanks, angel."** He kissed my head and his hands settled on my hips while mine wrapped around his neck.

I felt him pull me into him and felt his hardness on my leg. He backed me into the counter and lifted me to set me down on it, coming between my legs. His lips were on my neck and I was weakly pushing him away, but that was a fight I was quickly losing. He pulled my leg on his waist and I felt him slowly pulling at the rope that was keeping my robe together.

 **"Ah, ah. None of that."** Chibs whistled and we looked to the entrance of the kitchen. He tutted at us. **"You've got a match comin' up. No booze, no weed and no fucking. That little episode you had with Juice was the last of it."**

 **"Are you trying to kill me?"** Tig and I said at the same time, glancing at each other before glaring at Chibs. The look he gave us back basically said, "Try me" and I sighed, sliding off the counter to sit at the table with Tig.

 **"Where's mine?"**

 **"No fucking for me, no breakfast for you."** I stuck my tongue out at Chibs and clinked my glass of orange juice with Tig as we started to eat.

Kozik came in a second later and asked where his plate was too. I asked him if I looked like a goddamn maid. I wasn't planning on making another set of plates, but after seeing Kozik and Chibs epically fail at trying to cook, I made them breakfast. I made the boys wash the dishes because they made a bigger mess than I did and I went back into our room to get dressed. Tig snuck in here a few times and tried to get rid of what's been bothering him all morning, but Chibs was always there to pull him out of the room. I think he was entirely too comfortable seeing both of us half-naked.

When I was dressed, I noticed the living room was vacant and the kitchen was cleaned. I heard Rouge barking and opened the backdoor to see her playing catch with Chibs and Tig. Kozik was watching from the door and the boys ended their game after another minute. We drove to TM and Chibs was already in my ear about training, what he wanted me to work on today. I had a gym bag stashed here, so I went into the locker room and slipped into my red and black Venum fight shorts. I took my shirt off and started wrapping my hands in feet in red boxing gauze.

Chibs was leaning on the side of the door when I came out and I actually saw Happy come in the bar. He's been keeping a very low profile lately and when he hugged me, he told me he's been working his ass off just like the rest of the boys. We needed money again. I knew Clay wouldn't take a penny I gave him if it was from the Den, but he didn't have to know where it came from.

 **"Where's Sack?"** I asked Chibs as we stepped outside.

 **"He's doin' laps today, kid's gotta build up his leg strength. Speakin' of legs, you're gonna be workin' on your kicks today. Lucky for us, I found someone willin' to be your test dummy."** He pat my shoulders and turned me to face the ring.

There was a woman doing heel taps as she jumped rope and my interest with her was just as high as the hang-arounds watching her chest bounce through her sports bra. She was wearing a grey and lime sports bra with matching shorts and she had her hands and feet wrapped with green gauze. Her caramel blonde hair was braided in cornrows and her amber eyes were fixed straight ahead. I think she was pacing herself because I could hear her mumbling something as she exhaled, but I wasn't sure.

 **"Where'd you find her?"** I asked as the woman slowed her jumps until she stopped.

 **"Recommendation from Rostislav, he called a week ago. He trained her a few years back, but she never went into the series. She's kept up with them though and he said you 2 would be good sparring partners."** Chibs whistled and the woman looked over here, smiling as she came over. **"Lucia Reid, Talia Lowman."  
**

We shook hands and I couldn't stop smirking at this girl. It wasn't a common sight to see an attractive woman fighting, yet here she was. I sat on the edge of the ring with Lucia and we talked for a minute, getting to know each other. She was the same age as me and according to the WKA, we were both in the Middleweight class. Ros approached her like he did me, he watched her fight a few times and talked to her trainer before presenting her with the opportunity to fight in his Moscow tournament. She didn't go because of the whole fight to the death part, but I told her about my time there and that I won. I don't that made her ease up to the idea, but she seemed interested to hear it.

Chibs stopped our chattering and coaxed us in the ring. Today, he didn't want us to do any grappling or take-downs, just punches, kicks, knee and elbow strikes. Lucia and I bumped fists before Chibs whistled and we got into our stances. For the first 10 minutes, we were laughing at each other and barely putting any force into the jabs we threw. Chibs was entertained by us for a minute, then he told us to get focused and I dodged Lucia's first real right cross.

There was no more playfulness between Lucia and I. Her punches were hard, but a bit slow and I could dodge them. Mine were just as powerful, but quicker and she was having a bit of a hard time avoiding them, but she always managed to parry them. I got her on the ropes a few times and she backed me in a corner once. Her strong suit was her knee strikes and my burning thighs were proof of it. Chibs was throwing me pointers and telling Lucia to keep up with the goddamn knee techniques, which was irritating the shit out of me.

Lucia had a shining coat of sweat over her tan skin and there were loose strands of my hair sticking to my face, so I knew I was drenched too. I wasn't sure how long we've been at this, but we took 2 short breaks and got back to it. Chibs was pretty quiet now and I wasn't sure if that meant he was aggravated or if he was just watching us to take notes on what needed to be improved.

Lucia just threw another jab and I dodged it, coming at her with a cross-counter that connected with her cheek. She almost collapsed and kept distance between us, so I had a feeling she was getting worn down.

 **"Kick her ass, Tal!"** I heard Tig's voice and all my focus was gone. I turned to where I heard him cheer and briefly saw the hue of his eyes before I saw Lucia's fist out of the corner of my eye. I managed to bring my arm up to block the hit, but she threw another one and almost hit me in the temple, making me stumble backwards.

 **"Alright, that's enough!"** Chibs was in the ring before I took my first step to Lucia and he was standing between us. She had this smug ass smirk on her face and it was not helping my temper.

 **"So, Miss Queen-of-the-Underground's weakness is a cute guy cheering her on. That's pretty pathetic."** Lucia chaffed and I quickly ducked under Chibs' arm, getting in her face.

 **"I'd love to hear you say that when I kick your fucking teeth out."**

 **"We've gotta ring right here, baby. Get your trainer out and we can go until someone's unconscious."**

 **"I said enough."** Chibs pulled me back and was between us again, but that didn't stop me from scowling at Lucia. **"We're done, Lucia. You can use the shower in my room and go home."**

Lucia smiled at me again before she went to the ropes where Tig was and slid out. Chibs separated the ropes for me and I jumped down, watching as Lucia quickly unbraided her hair. Her crinkly locks fell to her shoulders and she flipped her hair behind them.

 **"Maybe you could wash my back."** She cooed to Tig in a sultry voice.

Lucia's back was to me and Tig was looking down at her with narrowed eyes, like she was insulting him, but he took a huge step back. Lucia turned around just in time to be greeted by my most powerful roundhouse kick. For me, that move was a surefire way to end a match and Lucia fell into a limp pile at my feet. Due to the spin, I was facing Chibs now and he shook his head at me. He said he wanted me to work on my kicks, but I think they were just fine.

 **"That's why I want you distanced from her and that,"** Chibs said to Tig and he pointed to Lucia. **"Is why** **you aren't allowed ringside.** **One word from you and she looses composure and her temper goes through the roof. Tal, hit the shower and check your stitches."  
**

Like I was told, I went to my room and washed the stink off me. I managed to find a bandeau bra and changed into a navy Reaper Crew shirt that I made into a muscle tank with jeans. I checked my stitches and was relieved to see they didn't pull, they should be able to come out now, but my legs were littered wwith tender red spots. When I came out of my room, smelling like powder deodorant, I saw Juice coming out of...Tig's room. That was strange. He looked like he was sneaking around and he jumped when I tapped him on the shoulder.

 **"Hey, Tal."** He smiled and tried to block the door without me noticing, but I did.

 **"What are you doing?"**

 **"I heard you were sparring today. How'd that go?"** He ignored my question and I narrowed my eyes, folding my arms over my chest.

 **"Juice, what the hell is up with you?"  
**

 **"What do you mean?"**

 **"You're acting weird, you look like you just kidnapped the First Lady and why were you in Tig's room?"**

 **"Oh, um...he asked me to get him some info and I just put the file on his bed."** Juice forced a smile on his face, but I didn't believe it for a second.

Something was up with him and I was going to figure it out. He didn't have any fresh bruises on him, so the boys weren't hurting him. Why was he acting so strange then? I was about to drag him into my room and start my interrogation, but I heard Jax call me from down the hall. He rounded the corner and Juice took the opportunity to bolt down the hall, possibly out of the clubhouse.

 **"What's with him?"** He asked, jabbing his thumb in the direction Juice just ran off in.

 **"Hell if I know. He's acting weird."**

 **"When has Juice ever been normal?"** He questioned and I huffed, smiling. **"You done training for today?"**

 **"Considering I just knocked my sparring partner unconscious, I think so."**

 **"You gonna be busy tonight?"**

 **"I'm gonna go check on the Den, but I shouldn't be. Why, you wanna take me out on a date and bang at your place?"**

 **"Once you go Jax, you never go back. Are you sure you're ready for this?"** He presented himself and I laughed, playfully shoving him in the arm. **"I just wanted you to hang out with Tara."**

 **"Who?"**

 **"Tara, my..."** He trailed off and pulled me to the end of the hall. He pointed to the kitchen and I saw that brunette in there with Chuck. **"Can you just hang with her? She just came back to town, she doesn't have many friends at work and** **Mom's not gonna open up to her anytime soon** **."**

 **"So you came to me as a replacement?"** I scoffed and walked away, headed for the bar with Jax in tow.

Bobby was sitting on a stool and I gave him a peck on the cheek before sitting on the bar. He had a bottle of whiskey out and I grabbed a shot glass from behind me, pouring one as Jax came to me. Tara poked her head out of the kitchen and gave me a small smile, but I didn't give her one back and she stood behind Bobby. He turned around and squeezed her hand, smiling.

 **"C'mon, Tal. She even said she'd like to get to know you. Wouldn't it be nice to have a girlfriend?"**

 **"First off, I've had more girlfriends than you and I know what it's like. Second, I don't need anymore friends and third, I'd soon give Bobby continuous blowjobs for a month before I gave your pet the time of day."**

 **"Ask her what time it is."** Bobby murmured and tapped Tara on the arm. He winked at me when he looked at me again and I couldn't help but smile. He was such a dirty old man.

 ** _"Tara_ is not my pet. She's my girlfriend."** Jax corrected and the new tone in his voice made me raise an eyebrow. Bobby took the bottle and grabbed another cup before coaxing Tara to one of the couches. **"She's family, Tal, and she's gonna be sticking around. I don't know what bullshit Gemma fed you-"**

 **"Gemma didn't _feed_ me anything, Jackson. I formed my own opinion about your 'girlfriend' and I'm sticking to it."**

 _ **"You're**_ **judging someone?"**

 **"What's that supposed to mean?"**

 **"I'm just sayin' you're not little miss perfect either."**

 **"And I'm not trying to be. You're far from flawless too, Jax. Have you told your little girlfriend about the Cara Cara cunt you've been stuffing-"**

 **"That's not important."** He cut me off and I smirked knowing that I had some dirt on him. I could tell stories as long as the Riot Act about Jax and Ima. I'm sure Tara would _love_ to hear about their little side relationship. Jax glanced over his shoulder at Tara and Bobby chatting on the couch before he turned back to me and sighed, running his hand through his hair. **"I want her around you because I know you can protect her if something goes wrong. She's seems really skittish lately and I don't know why. I think something's wrong, but she won't tell me. We're still...establishing our relationship, but I wanna make things right with her. She makes me happy, Tal."**

 **"What does that have to do with me?"**

 **"Oh, come on. Tig makes you happy and I've never said anything about how wrong that is."  
**

 **"And just what the fuck is so wrong about me and Tig?"** I hissed a bit too loudly and narrowed my eyes at Jax.

 **"Seriously, Tal? You were like 16 when he was fucking you. I mean, compared to dead bodies, I guess an underaged girl is a huge upgrade."**

 **"Go fuck yourself, Jackson!"** I snapped and shoved him in the chest, sliding off the stool. I didn't know what that dead bodies comment was about and I hoped it was just a joke, but he didn't know jack shit about me and Tig. **"You wouldn't know the first thing about relationships because you have a new whore sucking your dick every goddamn night and I know your precious _Tara_ wouldn't even look at you if she knew who your regular was!"**

 **"Watch it, Talia."** Jax warned and I saw Bobby get up, coming over to us with Tara.

 **"Has he told you about the porn star slut he fucks every other day?"** I asked her in a mock polite voice and her eyebrows furrowed.

 **"Shut the fuck up, Talia!"** Jax butted in, but I smiled at his rage.

 **"Oh, I'm just gettin' started, Jackie Boy!"** I laughed and turned back to a confused Tara. **"Did he tell you about his junkie of an ex-wife? Oh, I mean _current_ junkie wife _._ Legally speaking, they're still married and I don't think he filed for divorce yet, but we now we know who's fueling her fix."**

 **"Are you fucking kidding me?!"** Jax screeched and he looked like he was about to charge for me, but Bobby was keeping him at bay.

 **"I wish you would put your fucking hands on me, Jackson! I'm not Ima, I will fight back and I will end your fucking life!"**

 **"Ima?"** Tara's soft voice contradicted our screaming ones and Jax looked at her. **"The Saffron Sister, Ima? Y-you been having sex with a porn star, then you come home and get in bed with me? Don't you know what she does for a living, Jax?"  
**

 **"She's a human cum-dumpster who takes 3 dicks every half hour and she's probably got Chlamydia, Syphilis or Gonorrhea."** I chirped, smiling at a livid Jax. **"I'll leave you 2 alone. I can tell you need to 'establish your relationship'."**

I turned my back on the 'couple', but I heard Tara asking about Wendy now and Jax was trying to get her mind off it.

Kozik was coming in as I was going out and he asked me what was wrong. I told him that the Prince was being a brat and asked if he could take me up to the Den. When we arrived, I was greeted by some of the Devils and all the girls were happy to see me. David told me business was running smoothly like always and I went to go find Lyric for Kozik. Thankfully, the champagne blonde's schedule was cleared for the moment and I told her to take care of my brother. From the way Kozik was drooling over her as she led him upstairs, he was grateful for my little gift.

I helped Marco and David with booking appointments and kept our business flowing as well as it usually did. I couldn't get that little altercation out of my mind though.

Jax and I had playful arguments all the time and that's how we showed our love for each other. We'd get into harmless scraps and Gemma or Clay would usually break it up, scolding their son for hitting a girl. I've never gotten into a deadpan serious argument with Jax and I'd never think he'd put some woman over family. What he said about me and Tig was a low blow too because he knew just as well as the rest of the boys did that I was legal and consenting when Tig and I started fooling around. Tig had a bit of insecurity towards the age gap between us, but I've been telling him it wasn't a problem. He was just as vigorous as a 20 year old and he had the stamina of one too.

If Jax wanted to act like a selfish jerk, so be it, but I wasn't going to stand by and let him stomp all over me.


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm sorry about the delay for this chapter. I had so many ideas on how to continue the story and decided on this. Thanks for being patient and for all the Reviews, Favorites/Follows**

* * *

 **X~Talia~X**

After that little incident with Lucia, Chibs has been 'testing my temper' as he says. He's been putting me in the ring with another girl, Savannah West, and basically building my tolerance by letting her have at me without letting me fight back which was such a huge pain in the ass. I did see the greater good in his technique though. When it came to me and fighting, I'd be ready to kill as soon as I took a hit to the face. Chibs was trying to get me out of that mindset, but it was a contradicting process due to Happy's upbringing and my training with Ros in Russia.

The Prince of Charming was still on my shitlist and I've been avoiding or ignoring him as best as could. Jax could really act like a snot-nosed brat and it was so fucking irritating. When I absolutely had to interact with him, the only thing that came out of my mouth would be sarcastic comments about his casual flings, mainly how he was a man-whore, and we'd usually start arguing. I'd notice how Tara would listen to me though. I'm sure she's done her research on Ima and Wendy because I've seen her having seemingly intimate talks with Gemma. Honestly, I had nothing against the brunette. She was a pretty little thing and she hasn't killed anyone, so she was the most innocent thing I've seen around the clubhouse since Lowell's son, Moby. He was the cutest little kid.

Tara seemed to understand that Gem favored me over her, because Gemma actually said it, and she didn't try to cuddle up to the matriarch. When she comes around the clubhouse, she's around the guys and they treat her like they'd treat a member's Old Lady, but I didn't know if they were doing it because she really was Jax's woman or if they were just being polite. Jax was right about her wanting to get to know me because she comes to spark up a conversation every now and then. I knew the intimidation factor was set in when she saw me sparring, so I didn't have to worry about any problems there.

When my Friday Night Fight Night came around, I was so pumped to be brawling again and I was 1 round away from winning when Chibs told me to take a goddamn dive. He didn't tell me to just get knocked out, but he wanted my opponent to win and that was easier said than done. It took a lot of self-restraint, but I just barely managed to allow my competition to win and not only did I walk away with my first loss in my entire fighting career, but I had a black eye to top it off. After the fight, Chibs explained that the Club bet on my opponent because there was a bigger reward for whoever could beat me. He already set up a rematch and he gladly told me I could knock someone unconscious.

Gemma was having a family dinner tonight and that meant everyone was coming or else they'd get their head bitten off by the Queen. Happy was even coming back into Charming to attend. I spent the whole morning at the Den to make sure things up there were fine and to clear my schedule for the night.

I smiled at my reflection at my hair. I just finished making a feather braid to keep my loose curls in check and behind my shoulders. I always wore a dress for Gemma's dinners and tonight, I was wearing a sleeveless white dress with a scoop neckline and I had a leather obi belt around my waist to match my cut. Black calf-high moccasin boots were on my feet and the fringes would sway every time I took a step. I wasn't too heavy on the makeup and I kept the colors a warm neutral to complement my outfit. My black eye was nothing but a fading crescent under my right eye and it was hardly noticeable.

I had a drawstring crossbody bag equipped with anything I might need for tonight, including a pink, white and gold Taurus PT-22. This was the first gun Gemma gave me to carry and the girly piece grew on me. With a final spritz of a lovely strawberry perfume, I was ready to go and I walked out of the bathroom to the living room. Tig was waiting in there and I whistled when I saw him. He was wearing fitted slate-gray dress shirt with the sleeves cuffed to his elbows and black cargo pants. He was leaning on the wall with his cut draped over his shoulder and he smiled when he saw me.

 **"Hello, gorgeous. You look amazing."** I turned around when I realized the compliment didn't come from Tig and was greeted by Kozik's smiling face. He was wearing a blue button up and trying to fasten the studs on his cuffs. I had mercy on him and fastened the buttons, doing the same to the ones on his neckline and cuffing his collar. **"Isn't she the sweetest? She primps her man for perfection and makes sure I'm looking the best."**

 **"Since when did you become her man?"** Tig questioned and I grabbed Kozik's cut from the armchair, sliding it on him.

 **"C'mon, Tig. We've been dating for 3 years now. She's the love of my life."** He put a hand on my lower back and smirked at Tig, opening the door for me to step out.

Tig had his eyes playfully narrowed at Kozik as he opened the passenger door to my car and helped me inside, getting in the driver's seat as Tig revved his bike next to us.

 **"He's gonna kill me."** He chuckled when we started driving and I laughed with him.

Kozik and I talked on the drive to Gemma's and when we got there, Tig opened my door was was jovially glaring at Kozik as a sign to keep away; Kozik just smiled at us. When we got inside, the boys were going back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room while some of the Crow Eaters Gemma tolerated helped prepare the rest of dinner with Chuck. Tig and Kozik set off into the other room while I peeked over Gemma's shoulder to see what she was mixing in her bowl. It was something with a chocolate base and I tapped her other shoulder to dip my finger in the mix.

 **"Damnit, Talia!"** Gemma laughed as she shooed me away and I sat on the counter next to her. **"Juice has been doing the same thing."**

 **"Ma, what is that? It tastes like the meaning of life."** I asked and Gemma laughed again.

 **"It's called Chocolate Lasagna. Crushed Oreo's, peanut butter cups, whipped cream, chocolate pudding and chocolate chips. Everyone's gonna have the shits tonight, but it'll be worth it."**

I had a feeling I was drooling because Gem pat my chin to make me close my mouth. Of course, she forbid me to get anywhere near her and that delicious batter, but I helped with the vegetables or anything else.

 **"Unfortunately, Tara's here."** Gemma said in a hushed tone and I stopped cutting the cucumbers when she said that, handing them off to one of the women. Gem had a glass of what I guessed was wine and she leaned on the counter next to the fridge, kicking back the rest of the pale gold liquid. **"The invite was exclusively for family, yet that little gash is sitting at my table. I didn't know what Jax saw in her through high school and I still don't understand what he sees in her now, but I'm getting sick of seeing her face. I heard you and him have been nipping at each other again."**

 **"I'm telling you now, Gem, your son's mouth is gonna get his teeth knocked out."**

 **"What's going on, baby?"** I sighed and Gemma put her cup down, coming closer to me with a concerned expression on her face.

 **"Since his _girlfriend_ got here, he's been acting different, changing. He's putting her over everything and he got pissed when I didn't wanna be her best friend."**

 **"So you told her about Ima and Wendy."** Gem finished my sentence and I peeked at her from the corner of my eye, feeling like I did something bad. This wasn't a normal sibling rivalry going on between me and Jax though. Whenever we got mad at each other, which was a rare thing, we'd be back to normal by the end of the day. This wasn't blowing over though and it's been weeks. **"I would've talked Ima up first, told her to come by the clubhouse while Tara was there, let the Cum Queen flirt with Jax and possibly sleep with him, told Tara it happened, then brought up Wendy. You just went in trying to kill a bird with 2 stones."**

When Gemma chuckled, I smirked too because I was relieved. I thought she was going to chew me out for that, but she seemed proud of what I did. It was the truth and knowing Jax, he probably wouldn't have ever told his precious Tara about either of those women. It wasn't my place to butt into their relationship, but there wasn't even a connection to begin with and Jax shouldn't have butted into mine.

 **"When Clay's time is up being President, you're gonna be the next head Old Lady. You know that, right?"**

 **"What about Tara? Isn't the President's girl the head of the hen house?"**

 **"Tara wouldn't know a cluck from a croak."** She scoffed, a bit annoyed. **"She doesn't know jack shit about how Jax's life is now because she's trapped in some high-school-sweetheart dreamland and she doesn't wanna wake up. She's a prissy egghead with a medical degree, big whoop. School smarts don't outwit street smarts and books can't do shit when it comes to Club business. You know that, I know that, but she doesn't. This life is something you're made for or you learn to live with it. Tara does not belong with us, she's an outsider. When Clay's time is gone, I'd feel at ease knowing that a strong woman like you, who knows how to bring our boys together and has her shit together, is running things from the sidelines. Those men, this Club, needs love to keep it going and that's what Old Ladies are for."**

 **"We keep everything from bursting at the seams."**

 **"That's right. We're the bricks and plaster keeping a roof over our happy home."**

Gemma glanced at me and I nodded, letting her words sink in. The fact that she would never accept Tara was clear, but that wasn't enough to keep Jax away from her and I had no idea why. It couldn't be that high school sweethearts bullshit. She leaves him after high school, doesn't contact him for almost 11 years, suddenly pops back into his life and he's head over heels for her? This wasn't some gushy romantic comedy. Stuff like that doesn't happen in the real world. I was glad to hear Gemma had faith in me to take over when Clay's time is done. She's been teaching me to avoid the mistakes she's made and to make better decisions for the Club since I was a teenager. She's been my Mother figure all these years and I loved her.

We finished preparing the rest of the food and I took a few _hors d'oeuvres_ trays or beers out to the boys a few times. The girls started piling out and I was filling the plates or bowls with the prepared food when I saw Chuck tugging his jacket on.

 **"Where are you going?"** I called before he walked out the back door and he opened the door a bit.

 **"I was just here to help cook. I don't wanna impose or intrude on a family event."**

 **"You're family, Chucky.** " Gem said and came to my side, smacking my hand away when I tried to get the dessert in the pan she was holding. **"Go grab a seat next to the Prospects."**

Chuck looked surprised that we wanted him to stay, but he smiled at us and closed the door. When he went into the living room, Juice was coming into the kitchen and he smiled when he saw me, giving me a hug. We both got one look at the dessert dish sitting on the counter and started stalking over to it, but Gemma put it in the fridge before we got close.

 **"Out, both of you!"** Gemma started pushing us out and Juice managed to grab us a pair of beers. When we peeked out heads back in there, Gem was clutching a broom and threatened to stick it where the sun don't shine if we stepped foot in the kitchen again.

 **"Can I have a minute?"** Juice asked and stopped me on my route to the table where our family was laughing and chatting away. We went out into the backyard and sat on the steps, clinking our bottles together.

 **"What's up, bro?"** I asked as he slung his free arm around my shoulders and took a sip of his beer.

 **"How have you been, Tal? Everything okay?"**

 **"Yeah, why?"**

 **"I just...just wanna make sure you're feeling okay, you know? There's too many lies and bullshit in the world. I don't wanna see you sad because of it.** " Juice took another swig of his bottle while I was staring at him in confusion. I had a feeling he wanted me to know something, maybe use me as an outlet, and I was fine with that. He could've just said he wanted to vent though.

 **"You wanna get something off your chest?"**

 **"...it's not my chest."** He sighed and took his arm from my shoulders to scratch the side of his head. **"Okay, this is a totally hypothetical situation and it has nothing to do with anyone we know."**

 **"Okay..."**

 **"So...you know in the animal kingdom, once a lion finds his lioness, they become King and Queen. The King Lion doesn't care about any of the other lionesses because he has his Queen Lion who loves him and he loves her. All the lions in the King Lion's pack know that they're perfect for each other and that they need each other. One day, the Queen Lion went hunting and the King Lion got seduced by another lioness and he makes a really bad decision off instinct. After it's done, he feels really bad about what he did and he regrets every second of it because he betrayed his Queen. The King Lion wants to clean up the mess he's made, so he asks one of his pack members for help, but nothing's changed and the pack member wants to tell the Queen Lion what the King Lion did, but King Lion's gonna maul him if he does, but the Queen really needs to know."**

 **"Juice, what the...what?"** I asked, nervously laughing because I had no idea what the hell he was going on about. **"What was the point of telling me all that? Is this about Clay and Gemma?"**

 **"No, no, it's...do you think the pack member should tell the Queen Lion what her King did?"**

 **"Well, yeah. It's never good to keep secrets. They eat at you and make you go nuts."** I took a long drink from my bottle because Juice was such a complicated man that it was hard for him to normally express what he was feeling sometimes.

 **"What if the Queen Lion gets unbelievably pissed at the pack member?"**

 **"If this were me, I'd be more pissed at the King Lion for being disloyal to his Queen. The pack member should be concerned about the lifespan of the King Lion 'cause the Queen's gonna watch the vultures pick his bones clean and bask in the sound of his painful roars."**

 **"The vultures are gonna eat him alive?"**

 **"Yup. The Queen's gonna rip his legs off, so he can't run away or fight back."**

 **"Why are you so graphic?"** Juice and I turned around and saw Opie there, shaking his head at us. **"C'mon, kiddies. Dinner's ready."**

We followed Opie back into the house and washed our hands before taking our seats at the table. This was different from how I'd see the boys in the Chapel. Clay was still at the head of the table with Gemma on his right and Jax on his left. Next to Gem was Bobby, then Tig, me, Juice, Half-Sack, Miles, Rat, Chuck at the other end of the table, Opie, Happy, Kozik and Tara. Plates were passed around and the beer was steadily flowing as everyone filled their plates.

Everyone was talking to each other and having about 4 conversations at once. Half-Sack and I were telling Happy about the fights he missed while Bobby was having a debate with Clay on music. I think it was Elvis vs. Johnny Cash, but Gemma ended it by saying something about The Highwaymen. Kozik and Tig were talking about their time in service while Juice and Rat were engaged in the latest phones or video-games that just came out. Jax was talking to Opie about their childhood and Chibs was in a serious discussion about alcohol with Miles. The only person who was silent at the table was Tara. She'd answer whatever question Jax asked her and he'd pass it off to whomever he was talking to, but she never held a conversation.

 **"So, Tara."** Tig asked and she picked her head up. **"Me and Tal were watching _Hannibal_ the other day and it got me wondering. Have you ever cut someone's head open and took out their brain? Like, have you ever opened someone's skull and ripped their brain from the stem?"**

 **"I specialize in neo-natal and prenatal care. I'm a pediatric doctor, not a brain surgeon or a cannibal."** She smiled.

 **"So you could give a baby cow open stomach surgery?"** Juice asked and that got a few laughs from the table.

 **"Don't cows have 3 stomachs?"** I asked.

 **"Aye, they do."** Chibs answered and quietly burped. **"And a baby cow is called a calf. The woman said she works with babies, _human_ children."**

 **"Okay, but what if a cow ate a 5-month-old?"** Rat asked from the end of the table. **"She could cut open all 3 stomachs and get the kid out or she could force the cow to go into labor. Either way, I think that'd be pretty awesome to watch."**

 **"Have any of you ever witnessed a woman give birth?** " Kozik asked and Rat, Miles and Juice shook their heads.

 **"Imagine trying to push a balloon full of tomato paste that's the size of a chicken through a Fruit Loop."** Tara gave them a visual and the boys took a minute to think about it.

 **"Okay, instead of a cow, imagine the baby was in a sheep, but it wasn't in the sheep's stomach."** Half-Sack started this weird chain of questions again and totally disregarded the pregnancy talk.

 **"Where the hell is the baby?"** Clay asked and Gemma dropped her fork on her plate, clearly done with wherever this conversation was going.

 **"I'm guessing it's behind the stomach."** Opie pondered and Half-Sack nodded. **"So Tara would have to cut the sheep open, take out all its insides, give the heart, liver and lungs to Chibs to let him make a disgusting plate of Haggis-"**

 **"Hey!"** Chibs rebuked and flung a pea at the tall man, which he skillfully dodged with a smile.

 **"Then she'd take the baby out and use the sheepskin for, I don't know, a lamp shade?"**

The Prospects all agreed on what Opie explained and Tara was keeping her laughter quiet. To think, this whole conversation started with a brain and we traveled down to the intestines of another life form. What a strange bunch we were.

The rest of dinner was pretty uneventful, but Tara joined in on the loads of conversations and seemed more comfortable now than she did before. When the burps started and the last bone clattered on the empty plate, I collected the dishes with Gem and Tara. I stayed in the kitchen to wash the dishes and Tara was drying them while Gemma served dessert. The silence between us was a bit awkward, but it didn't get to me.

 **"How long have you been fighting?"** She suddenly asked and I looked at her. She dried another plate and pointed to her eye. **"I've been hearing about your's and Half-Sack's matches."**

 **"Since I was a kid."**

 **"Did Happy teach you when you were younger? I mean, Chibs said you went to Moscow for an underground series and won, so you must've been training since you were a child."**

 **"Happy's not my biological father."**

 **"He's not?"**

 **"No, he adopted me when I was 8. My real parents are dead."**

 **"Car accident?"** I blew out a breath and grabbed a paper towel to dry my hands. **"I'm sorry. I shouldn't pry."**

 **"My Dad was a junkie and he made dope. He didn't get a shipment to one of his clients, so they kidnapped me and my Mom. They roughed her up, drugged her and my Dad got beaten to death after watching some sick bastard defile his daughter. That shit went on for months, almost a year I think."**

 **"Oh my God."** She quietly breathed out and I looked at her. Tara just put her hand over her mouth and she turned away from me for a second. I could see the tears in her eyes when she looked at me again, but I wasn't sad about talking about my past. **"You just...you're so confident and strong."**

 **"It's all thanks to Happy. He saved me, taught me not to be afraid of anything and that everyone should be terrified of me. Then I met Tig and..."** I trailed off and smiled at the history of Alex and I. Such sweet memories.

 **"I wanted to thank you."** Tara said and I raised an eyebrow in question. **"What you said about Ima and Wendy, it made Jax open up. He tried to hide it, but he told me everything after a few days. He hates this little feud going on between you 2."**

 **"Did he send you to say that?"** I asked with a half-sarcastic tone and it took a second, but Tara caught on to it, smiling.

 **"No, I didn't."** Jax's voice came from the entrance of the kitchen and I turned to it. He smiled at Tara and she left, letting us be alone. **"What I said about you and Tig was out of line."**

 **"And so was what I said about Ima and Wendy."** I admitted and he smirked.

 **"No, it was the truth and Tara needed to know. I just realized how much of a cheap shot that was and I'm sorry, Tal. I know how much you love him and I know he loves you too...I want that with Tara. Years of love and happiness. I guess I'm a little jealous."**

 **"You should be. No man's better than my Tiggy."** I smiled at him and he gave me one back, holding his hand out.

 **"We good, little sis?"**

 **"We're good."** I grabbed his hand and shook it, but he pulled me into a tight hug. **"Alright, piss off, you soft pile of Care Bear shit."**

I pushed Jax away and he scoffed, but followed me back into the dining room. When Gemma saw us coming out together, she smiled at me and gave us each a piece of that Chocolate Lasagna she was making. It. Was. Amazing. I managed to get another piece to take home and everyone thanked Gemma for having us over. When we got outside, Kozik came to Tig and said they had to go, so Jax asked me to drop Tara off at her place.

On the drive, I noticed how Tara was constantly looking at the mirrors for something and I'd steal a glance just to make sure we weren't being tailed. She seemed a bit paranoid though. She asked me to park a few houses down from her place and I did, but watched her go inside. She kept looking over her shoulder as she unlocked the door. Is that what Jax was talking about, why he wanted me around her so much?

I didn't like the feeling I was getting, so I pulled my keys out of the ignition and waited to see if Tara would come out or something. After 10 minutes of no activity, I was about to go home, but I saw a car pull up to Tara's house. A man got out and he casually walked to the side of her house, going around the back. When he didn't come back, I got out of my car and made a beeline to the path he took. When I got to the back door, I heard something heavy fall and a short scream that got cut off. I could still hear the muffled yells and I took my gun out, setting my bag down.

 _Guess there's no use in hangin' 'round_  
 _Guess I'll get dressed and do the town_  
 _I'll find some crowded avenue_  
 _Though it will be empty without you_

 _Can't get used to losin' you_  
 _No matter what I try to do_  
 _Gonna live my whole life through_  
 _Loving you_

What kind of sick hell was I in? That song was terrible and I wanted to rip my ears off. I was at the bedroom door now and the music was playing from in there. Either Tara was having an affair with that guy and this ungodly tune got her in the mood or she had a late-night yoga buddy that liked to meditate to this crap. I was about to find out.

I cracked the door opened a bit and I could see the head of the bed. There was a pair of feet tied at the ankles and from the manicure, it was Tara. I didn't hear anyone moving around in there, so I opened the door more and Tara was in her underwear spread-eagle on the bed. Her hands were tied to the bed's post at the foot and there was a black cloth around her mouth, muffling her screams. She looked at me and really started freaking out.

 **"Calm down. I'm gonna untie you. What the hell's going on?"** I asked and tugged the cloth from her mouth.

 **"He's behind you!"** She screamed and before I could turn around, something was around my neck, choking me.

 _Called up some girl I used to know_  
 _After I heard her say "Hello"_  
 _Couldn't think of anything to say_  
 _Since you're gone it happens every day_

 _Can't get used to losin' you_  
 _No matter what I try to do_  
 _Gonna live my whole life through_  
 _Loving you_

I was clawing at the rope strangling me and using all my body weight to push back against the unknown man. I managed to shove him into her dresser and stop that godawful racket, but he pushed into me. The angle made me involuntarily arch and the man used that to hoist me up a few inches from the ground.

 **"Stop it!"** Tara shrieked and was desperately trying to tug her arms free, but the grip didn't ease up from around my throat.

 **"First, you send your bad boy biker to try to scare me away. Then you think this crazy bitch would be able to finish the job? Nothing's gonna stop me from being with you, Tara."**

 **"Let her go!"**

 **"We're gonna start over and have a family! I'm not gonna lose you again!"**

My legs were frantically kicking and my vision was blurring with tears, starting to fade. I couldn't kick the man and I'd pass out as soon as I let go of the rope. I started to really panic and did the only thing my half-working brain could think of. I jerked my head back and heard the man yell, letting me fall to the ground.

 **"You worthless biker whore!"** The man wailed and I felt him grab my leg. He flipped me on my back and I got to see his face for a split second, then I got slapped. I saw my gun under the bed and kicked the man in the chest, grabbing for it. I didn't think twice when I fired a shot and I got him right in the head, the blood starting to roll down the bridge of his nose.

 **"What the fuck?!"** I snapped, coughing. **"What kinda maniac attacks people like that?! Are you fucking mental you- oh, right. You're dead."**

I took a second to get my breathing under control and once it did, I felt fine. I was about to untie Tara, who was bawling, but I felt the heat build in my stomach and my throat started to tingle. Oh, geez.

There was a connecting bathroom in the room and I ran in there, managing to hold the barf in until I got to the toilet. I chucked up all the delicious food I ate at Gem's and there was a horrid aftertaste left in my mouth. Why the hell was I puking? Since my first hit, I've never gotten queasy after seeing a newly killed body or anything gory. I didn't even do anything stomach-churning to that guy, just a quick bullet to the head. Maybe I was coming down with something or I ate too much at dinner.

I flushed the toilet and pulled myself up on the sink. I rinsed my mouth out with toothpaste infused water and grabbed the white bathrobe on the door before I went back into the bedroom. I untied Tara and wrapped her in the robe, standing her up. She was quivering and sunk to the floor, her back against the wall as she stared at the dead body.

 **"Who the hell was that dick face?"** I asked, stripping the bed of the thick blanket. When Tara didn't answer, I nudged her in the leg with my foot and she flinched, yelping.

 **"J-Josh."** She mumbled. **"We were dating when...in Chicago..."**

Tara started crying again and I rolled John's body into the cover. I used the rope from the bed to tightly wrap him up and I dragged him out of the room, setting him in the backyard. Thankfully, there wasn't a trail of blood. I brought my car into Tara's garage and stuffed Josh into the trunk. I knew there were stains in the bedroom, so I grabbed the rubber gloves sitting on a small bench in the garage and thankfully, Tara had a bottle of Iron Out in here too.

I went back into the bedroom and Tara was in a fetal position now, but I went into the bathroom in search of Hydrogen Peroxide and rubbing alcohol. I got to cleaning and when I finished, Tara was sitting up again, watching me.

 **"...you're not used to it?"** She asked as I went into the kitchen. I took the gloves off and tossed them in the sink. I took the small bottle of acetone from Tara's bathroom and I poured it on the gloves, using a ling-reach lighter to ignite them. I kept an eye on the small flames, but turned to Tara and she was blankly staring at the fire. **"...you just killed Josh and you threw up after..."**

 **"This ain't nothin' new to me. I think you forgot about Happy having me in his custody all this time. I'll have to let you see my criminal record sometime."**

 **"This is what Jax does now...his Club..."**

 **"Yeah and there's 2 things you can do now."** I turned the faucet on and drenched the burnt rubber, sitting Tara down at the table. **"You can either run back to Chicago, find another man to start a new life with and forget tonight ever happened...or you can stay here with Jax and be his Old Lady 'cause this is what comes with being his woman. You can learn how to deal live with the Club or you can turn your back on your man and leave him again. Jax is starting to feel for you again. If you're gonna break his heart again, do it now and let him start healing."**

Tara still looked fazed by what happened and I expected that. I was telling her what she was getting into, what she was going to have to be okay with if she wanted to be with Jax. Even with him being VP, he's made enemies that could send people after the ones he love and Tara had to be prepared to do or die. Jax obviously had some deep feelings for this girl, so I didn't want her to be in the dark any longer because that was going to put her in her grave.

 **"I'll get the Prospects or Happy to help me dump the body tomorrow."**

 **"Won't they ask questions?"**

 **"I'm a mercenary, Bounty Hunter if you will. When I need help with a body, the Sons don't ask any questions. I'll come check on you to-"**

 **"Please don't leave."** She choked out and the tears started up again. Jesus Christ, I never knew a woman could cry so much in one night.

I agreed to stay with Tara for the night and I told her to go take a long shower. When she got out, I got in and she let me borrow something to sleep in, but she didn't go back into her room. She got more blankets from the hall closet and made a bed on the couch. I pulled an armchair to the window and was keeping my focus on the dark streets.

Tara was sleeping and I knew she'd be a little nervous, but I'd get the whole story on Josh tomorrow and I'd have to start giving her gun lessons. Jeeze, I just hated this woman and now I was looking out for her. Families are such a strange machine.


	20. Chapter 20

**X~Talia~X**

* * *

I was having a lovely dream and I was probably smiling like a dope in my sleep. It was a memory of Happy and I when we were in Oregon.

I had to be 9 or 10 at the time and Happy was ignoring me for some reason, probably because he had some Nomad work to do, but I wasn't having it. I went out into our backyard and saw a cat digging through our garbage cans. I managed to lure the kitty away and into the red charcoal grill with a drumstick. While it was tearing the meat off the bone, I filled the grill with a few of the black squares, poured some lighter fluid in there and placed the lid over the top. I heard the confused mewls of the cat, but I opened the vent on the top of the grill and dropped a lit match inside. The cat's calm meows turned into screeching yowls and I could start to smell the burning flesh. It was a husky scent.

When the smell of something burning reached the house, Happy came bolting out the door and he took the top off, letting the burning cat jump out. It took a half hour and I was laughing my evil little head off, but Happy managed to hose the cat down. For the rest of my childhood, he's never let me out of his sight for more than 5 minutes because something would be burning if he did. I think that was the beginning of my so-called pyromania.

...

I let out a soft sigh when I peeled my eyes open and the sunlight was seeping through the red curtains. As nice as that dream was, it always felt strange not waking up next to Tig. I had my legs over the arm of the chair and my arms were folded over my stomach, one hand clutching my gun. With a stretch, I let my head dangle back and didn't see Tara on the couch. I noticed her blanket was over me too. I got up and thought about checking in her room, but decided to look in the kitchen first. Tara was sitting at the table sipping a cup of coffee and there was another cup next to her. She smiled when she saw me, but I knew she was still uneasy from last night.

I sat across from her and she pushed the other mug to me.

 **"Josh Kohn."** She started and I stopped pouring the milk to add sugar. **"I met him when I was in Chicago. He was a sweet man, a good guy...at first. He started intimidating me and I felt like he was obsessed with me, like he was going to lock me in a basement until I died. When I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant, I knew he'd force me to stay with him if he found out, so I..."**

 **"Got an abortion."** I offered and she slowly nodded.

 **"...do you think I was wrong? I feel like less of a woman for what I did, but...what else could I do?"**

 **"I think abortion is wrong period. If you don't want a baby, take the necessary precautions to prevent a pregnancy from happening and if that doesn't work, give the kid to a family who'd want it instead of depriving it of life. There's too many women in the world who can't have babies for the women that can to be murdering them. In your case, I understand why you did it."** I took a sip of my coffee and looked at Tara. She looked like she was thinking, but she nodded at me. **"You left Chicago to come back to Charming because of him?"**

 **"I didn't have anywhere else to go. All my family's dead or scattered across the globe and I figured Jax could protect me."**

 **"You were using him."** I said bluntly and Tara stiffened, closing her eyes for a second as she took in a breath.

 **"At first...yes. I was scared that Josh would find me and I hoped that just being around Jax, being around the Vice President of vicious biker gang-"**

 **"Motorcycle club."** I corrected.

 **"Sorry. I thought being around a _motorcycle club_ would make him keep his distance. Jax and I started spending time together and those old feelings started to resurface. Jax isn't the same guy he was in high school, he's changed and I have too, but he's still so familiar." **She smiled to herself, looking at me. **"** **He was there when I was a teenager and my Dad was a drunken mess. I spent almost every day with him and Opie, shared a holding cell with them a few times.** **He's all I have now...I love him, Talia. I don't think I ever stopped..."**

 **"Does that mean you're not gonna run off again?"**

 **"I'm staying."** Tara's tone went from nervous to confident and I nodded. **"So...what you did last night, something you picked up from Happy?"**

 **"Oh, yeah. Made the DNA untraceable and the blood won't show up on a UV-Light. Learned that little trick when I was 10."**

 **"You helped him clean up blood when you were 10?"**

 **"I had to learn sooner or later and it my mess, so I cleaned it up."**

 **"You _killed_ at _10?"_**

 **"No, I shoved a pair of scissors into someone's ass and he was bleeding out until Happy came home."** Tara was looking at me like I was insane and I put my mug of coffee down. **"The guy broke into our house and we didn't have a dog, so I had to do something."**

 **"That makes it so much better."** She scoffed and I smiled.

 **"We should head over to TM. I think you'd feel safer around the Sons while I get rid of Joshie."**

 **"You're a pretty hardcore woman, Talia."** Tara said as I got up and was headed to her garage. I smiled over my shoulder at her. Since she was already dressed for the day and I was in sweatpants with a tank, I could find something to wear at the clubhouse. **"I don't even think Jax would be ballsy enough to off a fed."**

 _ **"Off a fed?"**_ I stopped and Tara bumped into me, flinching when she saw the Hell in my eyes.

 **"Uh, Josh. He worked for the government as an ATF agent. I-I found his badge behind the dresser this morning."** She dug into her pocket and pulled out said badge. As if I were Satan and that was the Bible, I flinched back and almost started hissing at her. How the hell didn't I see that goddamn thing last night? **"I-it's not a problem, right? You cleaned up the blood and I'm not gonna have the police in here. W-we're okay, right?"**

I didn't say anything, but grabbed her wrist and was mindful to keep my flesh far away from that brooch. I popped my trunk and Tara gagged at the smell starting to come from the corpse, but I made her tuck it into the blanket. I pushed her against the wall and had my hand around her throat, my body weight keeping her pinned from the waist down.

 **"Listen to me very carefully, Tara.** **I am a stone-cold killer and from what you saw yesterday, I have no problem with taking a life. I am also an expert at making people scream for God to save their pathetic souls from the torture I bring. If you even think about going to the cops and _ratting_ on me, I will find you, drag you out into the middle of nowhere, skin you alive, break all your bones, take those pretty eyes out with my fingers, eat them and burn you to death. I know a million places to bury your body and nobody will ever find you. Do not cross me, m'kay?"**

Tara gagged, but nodded and I let her go. She braced her hands on her knees and coughed while I was patting her back. We got in my car and the drive to TM was pretty silent, but it wasn't as awkward as I expected. I thought Tara would try to tuck-and-roll out of the car and scream bloody murder, but she didn't. She kept her focus ahead and glanced at me every time we stopped at a red light, but she seemed calm enough.

When we got to TM, the gate was closed and I looked at the clock on my car's radio. It was going on 11am, business has been open for a little bit.

 **"Is the shop closed today?"** Tara asked as I honked my horn.

 **"Only on Sunday. Worst case scenario, we're on lock-down."**

 **"What's that?"** The gate was pulled to the left and I didn't see who opened it, but I drove though to let him close it.

 **"Lock-down is a protection protocol the Club calls when shit's about to get real nasty. It's like when a riot breaks out in a prison. All the inmates go to their cells, nobody gets in and nobody gets out until the Sons declare everything's okay."** I pointed to all the unknown, but armed Sons on the roofs of the garage, the clubhouse or pacing along the fence and Tara took note of them.

Tara looked curious about the whole thing and we got out of my car. I saw more unfamiliar members milling around the lot and they smiled or waved to me. I didn't see any of the boys from our charter until Tig came out of the clubhouse with Chibs. They came over and gave us hugs, Chibs going off after, but Tig stayed.

 **"Oh, baby. What happened?** **That looks worse than it was yesterday.** **"** He gently titled my chin up to look at the side of my face and his eyes went down to my neck. **"And where the hell did _that_ come from?"**

 **"Jax asked me to take Tara home and I got a call from a client, needed a witness to shut up. I found the guy's house, broke in and things got a little rough. Are the Prospects around? I've got his body marinating in my trunk."  
**

 **"Yeah, they should be inside somewhere. We're going on lock-down in a bit, so they'll take care of it, but I need you to stay here."**

 **"What's going on?"**

 **"Honestly?"** He sighed and let his head hang. He peeked up and smirked at me. **"With Happy back for a while, we're about to piss off a very dangerous green, the same one that ordered the hit on** **McKeavey. We've had eyes on one of his associates and we're gonna go have a nice talk with the guy."**

 **"A nice talk with you and Happy means blood and pain, _lots_ of blood and pain." **Tig gave me a guilty shrug and I smiled at him. **"You sure you don't need me to come?"**

 **"Not this time, angel. This is pretty high-risk and I wanna make sure you're safe."**

Tig's hands came to caress my cheeks and his eyes scanned my face. I saw the twitch at the corners of his mouth when he looked at my new bruises, but overall, his eyes held a gentleness and deep attachment. Now, I started to think about how hostile things were going to get today because we were about to go on lock-down.

This has only happened a handful of times, me not tagging along on Club business, and it's been like that since I came back. I knew Chibs wanted me to focus on my fighting and Tig always lunged at the first opportunity to have Happy take my place when our explicit services were needed, but Clay would usually convince him to let me come. Tig said they were dealing with a green too, so this threat to the Club was an Irish foe. I wondered if the True IRA was involved, but doubted it because Cameron wouldn't be selling SAMCRO guns if that were the case.

 **"When are you leaving?"** I asked and Tig's fingers migrated to my hair.

 **"Next 10 minutes or so. Everyone's saying goodbye. Lock-down's just for immediate family this time, so the clubhouse shouldn't be packed."**

A sudden feeling washed over me then and it almost made me feel like...crying. Just like last night, something wasn't sitting well with me and I wasn't getting any symptoms of vomiting, thank Christ, but I didn't want Tig to leave. Without knowing what else to do or why the hell I had that weird change of mood, I wrapped my arms around Tig's neck and tightly hugged him. We were pressed so tightly together that I could feel his heartbeat through his cut and softly thumping against my chest.

 **"You okay?"** He asked in a gentle voice and his arms tightened around my waist.

 **"Just...come back."**

 **"You know I will. I'm gonna be fine, baby."** Tig promised and pulled back, his blue eyes still soft. **"I love you, Talia."  
**

 **"Love you too."**

With a smirk, he lifted me to be face level with him and I couldn't stop smiling. I kissed him and melted into it, savoring the softness of his lips. With me still elevated, he hugged me and my head was resting on the crook of his neck, breathing him in. I went snooping yesterday before dinner and was searching for whatever cologne he wore, but I didn't find it. That sage and lemongrass was _naturally_ him and I secretly hoped his scent would sink into my clothes.

Tig set me down and smiled at me, but his attention snapped to the gates as did mine. One of the Sons on the roof looked over the gate and a string of messages went from the roof to Bobby on the ground before another Son at the gate pulled it open. An off-road jeep was stopped by a member, was allowed past the gate and I got to see the details of the ride. A lifted 1976 Ford Bronco came to a stop near us and it had a paint job to make it into one of Charming PD's rides. When the man got out, I got a sense that I've met him before, but I stayed far away from the police, so it didn't make sense.

 **"Talia."** The man greeted with a tip of his hat and a polite smile.

 **"We've met?"**

 **"It's been a while since we first saw each other, but you were with Jax and Mr. Trager when I came to visit."**

 **"Oh, that's right. There were 3 of you before."** Remembering him now, David smiled again, but his eyebrows pulled together in confused concern.

 **"Those bruises look fresh. Is everything alright?"**

 **"She's fine."** Tig growled next to me, but David merely glanced at him.

 **"And she's fully capable of speaking for herself."**

 **"I'm okay, really. I go down to Lumpy's to train every week and getting a few blemishes after sparring is normal."**

 **"That explains the eye, but what about your neck? It looks like someone tried to choke you and last I checked, strangling isn't a fighting technique."**

 **"She doesn't have to explain anything to you."** Tig spat and his arm went around my waist, tugging me to his side. David's hand was resting on the holster of his gun and his eyes were narrowed at Tig. **"Why the fuck are you here anyway?"**

 **"Ms. Knowles wasn't home, so I came here to look for her."**

 **"Is something wrong?"** Tara asked, stepping next to me. David kept his glare on Tig and he was glaring right back at the cop. I started to pull him away, but David asked me to stay and I told Tig to give us a minute. He went to a nearby picnic table and I saw Chibs over there too. He had his shades on, but I knew he was watching us.

 **"I just wanted to know how things with that Restraining Order were going."** David said and I raised an eyebrow, stealing a glance at Tara.

 **"I think I was overreacting. The man I wanted it against hasn't even called me since I left Chicago. I just wanted to make sure I'd be safe if he followed me here. Thank you for your help. I know it was a bit of extra effort to get it."**

 **"Of course."** David smiled and turned to me. **"And if you need anything, I'd be happy to help you."**

 **"How did you know my name?"**

 **"After I left, I did a little research on you."**

 **"Find anything interesting?"**

 **"Only that you take the 'burning down bridges' saying to a very serious extent."** I tried to bite back my smile, but I couldn't and laughed a bit because I literally burned down a bridge. Happy and I had a lot of good times up in Oregon. David took a small card from his pocket and gave it to me. **"This is the direct number to my office and my personal phone."**

 **"I'm flattered, but my boyfriend's right over there."** I smirked at David and he chuckled, but got serious.

 **"I know how rough these men can be and the last thing I'd want is to see a woman getting hurt because she's involved with a Son. I helped Tara and I hope you'll reach out to me if you need anything."**

David bid Tara and I goodbye and got back into his ride, driving out of the lot. I tossed the card away and shook my head at what had to be going trough that pig's mind. Tig would never hit me. Sometimes, the man treated me like I was a goddamn flower and I don't think I could piss him off to the point of him even thinking about abusing me. The only time Tig got rough with me was in bed and it was because we both liked hair pulling, ass slapping, scratches on your back kind of sex. Another thing that kept that idea out of his mind was the fact that he saw me knock a 24-year-old man unconscious and I was _17._ All the Sons knew not to step to me for a fight, not that they ever would, because they knew I'd win.

I grabbed Tara's wrist and pulled her into the clubhouse, waving off Tig and Chibs before they could start worrying. Like Tig said, I saw a small crowd of family members and close friends of the Club in the bar, but I was tugging Tara back to the dorms and into mine.

 **"You went to the cops?!"** I snapped and slammed the door, making her flinch. **"Do you know how fucking stupid that was?!"**

 **"I-I didn't know what else to do!"**

 **"When you came back to Charming, you knew Jax was a Son and you knew they _do not_ get involved with the police! David's been sniffing around here for months looking for an opening to weasel his way in and get Clay booked! If he's gone, shit starts to unravel and everything goes down! You know what's gonna happen now? David's gonna start double-checking all the shit the boys have done, he's gonna start talking to the Club's contacts and having patrol cars posted all over Charming to tail them! That's gonna fuck up business!"**

 **"I didn't know, Talia! I'm sorry!"**

 **"You should be! That was such a stupid move! You're with Jax now and that means every decision you make could effect him, could get this Club into some seriously deep shit! There's a domino effect to _everything_ we do, Tara!"**

Tara went to the pull-out and sat on the couch. She was probably holding back her tears and I heard her sniffle, wiping some of them away. I sighed and sat next to her, rubbing her back. She was still learning how things worked around here and she made a mistake, but the blowback was already done. She talked to David and he must know she's with Jax, so he's probably been watching the MC for some time now.

 **"You don't _ever_ talk to the cops." ** I instructed in a calmer tone and Tara nodded. **"That Restraining Order was for Josh?"**

 **"A few days after I came to see Jax, he called me at St. Thomas. 2 weeks after that, he was waiting in my office and he said he'd make me realize that we were meant to be together. 3 days later, I got a bunch of** ** _explicit_** **pictures of Jax with Ima. With you fighting with him and those pictures, he told me about it. He thought I didn't want to get serious with him, so he went to her."**

 **"He doesn't love her."**

 **"You don't know that."**

 **"She's a porn star, he's a man, you see where the attraction comes from. Jax knows she's just a call away when he wants to get laid and she's had sex with Opie, so there's no way in hell he loves her. You've gotta let that bitch know he's your man."**

 **"What do you mean?"**

 **"There's parties here almost every night and some of the Cara Cara girls or my Kittens come over, but the Crow Eaters are here all the time. They're jealous of us because they want to be Old Ladies, so they try to manipulate our relationships. None of them have the guts to even look at Clay and the last time one of those whores rubbed up on Tig,"** I started laughing a little then and if Tara didn't think I was insane before, she knew I was fucked in the head now. **"It's your job to put that bitch in her place, crack her in the face with a bottle if she tries anything with Jax."  
**

 **"You sound like Gemma."** She muttered and I smiled. It probably wasn't a complement, but I took it as one. **"She said the same thing to me, but Ima would be the one kicking my ass.** **Violence doesn't solve anything.** **Why can't I just talk to Ima? You know, woman to...lesser woman."  
**

 **"'Cause it'll be like talking to a brick wall and talking's for schoolgirls. Old Ladies handle Crow Eaters the only way they'll understand: with a nasty bar fight. If you see some bitch pushing up on your man, you slug that bitch in the face. You have to let her know that Jax is yours, that his delicious dick is yours and that she'll never taste it-"**

 **"Talia!"**

 **"That she will not take him from you and that you'll rip her fake tits off she tries to."** I continued and Tara was blushing through a smile. **"It shows dominance and once Jax sees you fighting, he'll be all over you. If there's one thing that get these men riled up, it's** **seeing** **their Old Lady fighting."  
**

 **"Because it shows we'll fight for what we love."** She said and I nodded, smiling because she was getting the hang of this.

For a few minutes, Tara asked about the Crow Eaters and if they knew their boundaries when it came to Old Ladies. I told her everything and how to handle it. We even worked on her best Bitch Face glare. I asked her if she knew what Runs were and she didn't. I wasn't going to break that news to her just yet because she still had a chance to change her mind and get out of Charming. When she was ready, I'd tell her. Tara asked about the very few encounters I've had with Tig and they were _very scarce._ Since I came back home, I've had to rough up a bitch or 2 because they thought he was a free man, but it was handled just as quickly as it started. I really started feeling like Gemma as we talked. I was an experienced Old Lady and she was coming to me for guidance.

A knock on my door stopped our conversation and Juice poked his head inside with his hand clamped over his eyes. He told us that the Sons were about to leave and we followed him outside. He looked a little surprised to see me within a 10 inch radius of Tara, but he smiled at us. When we got outside, Juice got the first hug and I made my rounds to the boys, telling them to look out for each other. Jax found Tara and she looked totally at ease when he hugged her.

When I got to Tig and we were hugging, I saw Clay doing the same thing to Gemma. The President gave his wife a kiss and called the Sons to get on their bikes. With our last seconds together, I was kissing all over Tig's face and he started laughing at me.

 **"Be careful."** I said between my last batch of kisses and pulled away to look at him.

 **"Always."** He assured me and gave me a firm pat on the ass. He kept our fingers intertwined as he walked to his bike and kissed my hand before he let go.

Tara came next to me and we watched the Sons rev up their engines to signal they were leaving. Another member opened the gate and the boys piled out in their tight formation. I helped with herding everyone back inside the clubhouse and I was sweetly greeted by the women as I checked on everyone. The bar wasn't packed to the top, but we had a nicely sized crowd and I knew Gemma would be busy playing hostess, so she wouldn't have time to pick at Tara. Chuck would probably be making something to eat and treats for the kids.

Speaking of kids, one of the women stopped me. I've seen her before and I think her name was Vega. She had turquoise died hair and we complemented each other on our hues before she asked me if I could watch her daughter while she rounded up her other 3 kids. I gladly accepted and she pulled the diaper bag off her arm to slide it on mine. The little girl had to be around 4-months-old and her wisps of golden brown hair complemented her sparkling cognac eyes. She had a green dress on and a white headband with a sunflower on the side.

 **"Hey, darlin'. How are you today?"** I sweetly asked the child and tickled her stomach, making her laugh as her little feet kicked.

 **"How did you do it?"** Tara asked and sat next to me. **"When Tig asked about your face, you lied like it was nothing."**

 **"Old Lady rule #1: Your man handles his shit and you handle yours. You keep him on a need-to-know basis, let him get some sweet lovin' a few nights a week and everyone's happy."**

 **"And that works?"  
**

 **"When it comes to pussy, everything works with Tig. Jax'll be the same way. Don't tell your Mom I said 'pussy' in front of you."** I whispered to the child and Tara giggled. **  
**

For the next hour or so, Tara asked about me and I told her what I wanted. I highly doubted she'd want to hear about the murdering sprees I've had with Happy or an episode of sadism when I'd be torturing someone for the Club, so I had to censor out _a lot_. She asked what I meant by that Kitten reference and I told her about my brothel. I promised to take her up there to meet the Kittens, Marco, David and the Devils one day.

When Vega came back, her 2 boys and another girl were trailing behind her like ducklings following a goose and she thanked me for watching her baby. With the opportunity, I went to check on the rest of the families and they were okay. The women always asked Tara if she was Jax's Old Lady and it took a couple tries, but she finally welcomed the name.

As the hours passed, I'd usually be stealing the babies from their parents to cuddle their youngest child and they didn't have a problem with it. A group of 14-year-olds remembered me from when they were kids and asked if they could see my guitar. As soon as I brought the damn thing out, I was getting requests by the pound and I kept everyone entertained for some time. When I had a free minute, I called up to check on the Den and when I couldn't get through, I started worrying. I called Felix next and he picked up after the first ring. He assured me that everything was fine and that all my girls were accounted for. With it being Friday night, business was going through the roof, so Marco and David were swamped with callers booking appointments.

Gemma and Chuck came to pass out some finger food and beers for everyone. Tara and I sat down to munch on the appetizers and Gemma joined us. At first, Gemma was just having a simple conversation with me and we'd laugh from time to time, but I saw how she'd look at Tara from the corner of her eye. Tara wasn't backing down like I saw her do before and I was half-curious, half-nervous about how this little episode would turn out.

 **"What's up, doc?"** Gemma asked in utter sarcasm. **"Are you enjoying yourself, not feeling like an outcast or anything tonight?"**

 **"As much as I'm sure you'd like to see me sulking in a corner, I'm having a nice time with Talia. She introduced me to some of the women and we played with the kids."**

 **"The little doctor made a friend, eh?"** Gemma's eyebrow was quirked and she glanced at me, but fully turned to Tara. She put her folded arms on the table and I knew the light mood was gone. **"And just how did that come about? Last time I checked, you 2 were acting like strangers at dinner. Not even 24 hours later, you're _besties?_ I'd say you had sex, but Tal's got standards and she wouldn't stoop to your level if she wanted to get laid."**

 **"Are you jealous?"** Tara asked with a smug smile. **"Afraid that the _younger_ generation of Old Ladies are going to exclude you from all the fun because we don't think you'll be able to keep up?"**

 **"You'd better watch that mouth of yours, princess."** Gemma stuck a finger out at Tara and the doctor's lips went tight, her eyes narrowing. **"You brainwashed my son with that tainted cunt of yours and I don't know what the hell you did to my daughter, but you'd better learn your goddamn place."**

 **"Or what? You're gonna shove your stiletto up my ass?"**

 **"Don't tempt me."** Gemma hissed and took her beer before getting up from the table, leaving.

 **"When I told you to stand your ground and not to take anyone's shit, I was kinda limiting that to when you had to deal with the Crow Eaters."** I said and turned in my seat, a little shocked that Tara spoke to Gem like that.

 **"She's the one that needs to be put in her place."**

 **"No, _you_ do. Gemma is the boss around here and you do not talk to her anyway you please. I'm not saying get on your knees and kiss her ass, but there's gotta be respect. You can hate her all you want, but pulling some ballsy shit like that is gonna get you fucked up." **Tara looked like she didn't believe me, so I nodded to the side of me. We both looked over and a group of women I introduced her to were glaring at her now. They looked like a pack of cats ready to start clawing out eyes and Gemma next to them with the evilest smile on her face.

 **"They're back!"** Half-Sack announced from the door and everyone cheered, rushing out into the night to see the Sons.

I lost Tara in the crowd, but I managed to get to the bikes and the boys were getting off them. I didn't see Tig or Happy though and I went to Chibs. He didn't have any blood on him and no new wounds, so they had a safe trip. I gave him a hug.

 **"Where's Tig and Happy?"** I asked.

 **"They're havin' a very long conversation with that new friend of ours."** He explained, slinging an arm over my shoulders as we headed back to the clubhouse. I could hear the music blaring and laughter already. **"They should be back around midnight, no worries, lovie. C'mon, let's party!"** **  
**

Chibs howled and grabbed a brunette, putting his face in her chest as she squealed. A blonde took the space of his free arm and they led him inside, but I stayed to see where Tara was. She was with Jax and they looked like they were about to leave. I didn't stop them because they were probably about to go home and spent time together.

I went inside the clubhouse and was greeted by the classic rock blaring from the speakers. Juice found me and gave me a beer, leading me to a table where Half-Sack, Miles and Rat were. The subject of a drinking game came up and I went to the bar to make us a tray of Liquid Cocaine shots. Chibs came with me to the table and the game started with Sack.

 **"Never have I ever had sex against a washing machine."**

 **"You're missing out."** I winked and took a shot back as did Chibs, Miles, Rat and Juice. **"Never have I ever had phone sex."**

Chibs was the only one who drank again and we were all hooting, telling him to spill the details on that story.

 **"Nope, you're too young for that."** Chibs chuckled. **"Never have I ever...Christ, what the hell _haven't_ I done? Ahh, never have I ever measured my dick."**

 **"With or without a boner?"** Miles asked.

 **"Both."**

As suspected, all the boys took a drink and I was debating on taking one myself because I've measured Tig's before. I guess I got a free pass because Miles was thinking of a question now.

 **"Okay, never have I ever had to go to the hospital to get something taken out of my ass."**

 **"Under what circumstances did something get stuck up there and what was it?"** Juice asked. **  
**

 **"Under sexual circumstances and fingers don't count. I'm talkin' foreign object."**

 **"So, like a toy car or a dildo?"** Rat said and we all looked at him as he raised the glass to his mouth. When Miles nodded, he took it back.

 **"You've had a toy car _and_ a dildo stuffed up your shitter?" ** Chibs asked.

 **"...not at the same time."** In a fit of teasing laughter, we asked for the story behind it. It was the typical experience of having too much to drink and picking up a drop dead gorgeous girl who was into some kinky shit. **"Never have I ever had sex with more than 3 girls at once."**

As soon as the question was out there, they were all looking at me, but I didn't take a glass. Chibs and I both agreed that more than 2 was too much to handle. After a prolonged moment, Juice took a shot back and had the biggest grin on his face.

 **"At my patch-in party, I had sex with 5 girls."**

 **"Did you actually bang all of them or were 3 of them fucking each other while you had the other 2?"** I asked and Juice shook his head.

 **"My dick was in 5 girls that night."**

 **"That's my boy!"** Chibs praised and pat Juice on the back.

The boys kept playing, but I stopped because I didn't want to be passed out when Tig came home. I told Chibs I was going outside to have a smoke and left. Compared to the humidity inside the clubhouse, it was pretty cool out here and I walked along the wall until I found a good spot to lean against. I took out my cigarettes and put a stick in my mouth, but I couldn't bring myself to light it. The smell of the nicotine was making me feel a bit queasy and I guessed it was because I was drinking on a partially empty stomach.

 **"Hey, you gotta smoke to spare?"** My head turned to my right and I woman was there. It was too dark for me to see her face, but she looked like a Crow Eater from her skimpy clothes. I held my pack of smokes up and tossed them to her, prompting her to come over to get the lighter. **"You're Talia, Alex's Old Lady, right?"**

I handed over my lighter, but the woman didn't use it and I was thinking about what she just said. Nobody called Tig by his first name and from what he's told me, the only people who knew it were the Sons, Gemma and myself, but they never called him by it either. It was weird hearing it from someone else and it was even stranger that this unknown woman knew it.

 **"Yeah, that's me. You know him?"** I decided to play along with whatever this woman's angle was.

She finally lit her cigarette and the flickering light still wasn't enough for me to see her features. She held it out to me and when I grabbed it, her other hand closed around my wrist. She pulled me into her and I was about to punch this crazy gash in her fucking jaw, but I felt that pain again. Getting stabbed is something you never get used to, but your body gets familiar with the sensation. To me, it felt like I just got punched in the gut by a child throwing a tantrum and it still took a second to process, but I came to the conclusion that she just stabbed me.

I could see every detail of the woman's face now. The strange discoloration of her eyes had to be from years of drug use because what I guessed used to be a vivid shade of emerald green, were verging on pistachio. I could see her black hair and it looked like it suffered from extreme heat damage due to her flat-ironing it every night. I probably had that shocked, paling, 'Is this really happening?' look I've seen people get when I'd stab them and I knew my expression was the same. The tables have seriously turned and if there was a God watching, He had a seriously sick sense of humor.

 **"He's mine."** The woman hissed at me and pushed me back. She watched me sink down to the ground and when I lifted my hand to my darkening vision, I saw all the blood coating it.

The woman started walking away and it turned into a sprint when the door of the clubhouse opened, the music seeping out. I couldn't keep my eyes from closing, but I heard a bottle shatter and someone's muffled voice. Other than the skin crawling feeling of my blood making my shirt stick to me, I felt hands on me, but I was getting colder. I didn't know if I was being dragged on my feet, carried or laying down, but it felt like I was falling into noting and my head wouldn't stop spinning. My heart was so confused because it didn't know if it wanted to sporadically thump until it slowed to a stop or hastily thump to the point of hurling out of my chest. That coldness was coming a serious problem because it was starting to take over. I'd occasionally feel spots of warm on my face or arms and I guessed it was someone's hands, but this icy feeling was starting to coat my body from head to toe.

So this is what dying feels like.


	21. Chapter 21

**X~Happy~X**

 _ **"Wake up! C'mon, it's time for breakfast!"**_ _The small weight climbed on the bed and started bouncing on my back, it's cheerful little voice still ringing in my ears. "_ _ **Get up already!"**_

 _It had to be 9am, maybe 9:30, but I_ did not _want to get up. I was on a stakeout since 9 last night and I didn't get home until 6. 3 and a half hours of sleep wasn't going to get me through the day, but with this kid, I didn't have another choice. She'd light something on fire if I didn't get up and I really didn't want to see another scorched animal._

 _Sighing, I rolled over and practically crushed the little girl under me, but she was laughing too much to be in any kind of pain. She managed to squirm out and jumped on me, wrapping her tiny arms around my neck. I chuckled and sat up, giving her a warm hug back. I basked in the fondness of this, of having something close to me and not being afraid of hurting it or it being afraid of me. Children were fearless, but this one didn't know what fear was anymore. I taught her that, taught her not to be scared of anything._

 _I got out of bed with her and followed her bouncing head of red hair down the stairs to the kitchen. Maybe I was just the type of Father that spoils their little princess, but her favorite movie was_ Who Framed Roger Rabbit _and I'll be damned if she couldn't sing just like Jessica. After we watched it for the 50th time, she asked if she could have red hair and I colored it for her. There were black streaks leftover, but she loved it._

 _I got the pancake mix off the top of the fridge and watched her pull the lower drawer out to use it as a stepping stool to climb on the counter. She got the bowl and whisk while I got an egg and a cup of water. When we started mixing, the white powder was all over the counters and my black tank was splattered with the wet mix. She had a splat on her cheek, but she was stirring the batter while I was cooking the meat and kept an eye on the coffee maker._

 _Once the pan was free, I scooped her up and she was giggling as she poured the mix. I got 3 and she got 2. The mess could wait until after we were finished and we sat down to eat. As usual, I was listening to her tell me about the dream she had last night. She's been having the same one for a few days now. She'd be in a meadow and she was running with a pack of Timber wolves. She never told me if she befriended them or if they found her as a baby and raised her like one of their own. They'd run and howl until the moon came out, then she'd see a woman rise into the sky in front of the moon. She was a fairy or an angel, but she was made of fire. The fairy would tell her to come with her and before she could take her hand, the fire woman would explode into little sparkles and she'd wake up._

 ** _"Are we bad people?"_** _She asked as we washed the dishes. She was sitting in a chair now and I was behind her. She tilted her head back on my stomach to look up at me with those sparkling gems she had for eyes_ _ **. "**_ ** _My teacher said bad people take stuff that's not theirs and they hurt other people. We do that sometimes. Are we bad?"_**

 ** _"Ain't nothin' bad about what we do, it's how we get by. You're teacher's a just stupid bitch who needs to learn to keep her goddamn mouth shut."_**

 ** _"Oooh, you cursed."_** _She giggled and I saw her little smile. Her bottom tooth was growing back and her delighted face made me smile._ _ **"It's 10 o'clock, Jenny's on TV!"**_

 _She hopped out of the chair and pushed it back to the table, impatiently waiting for me to put the plates back. She dragged me into the living room and I plopped on the couch, closing my eyes. She got up here with me and was against my chest, flicking though the channels in search of_ My Life As A Teenage Robot _. I opened one of my eyes when I heard the theme song playing and she started bouncing, joyously singing along. I doubted I'd be going back to sleep this morning, but seeing her so cheerful made loosing sleep worth it._

 ** _"I love you, kid."_** _I kissed her head and she turned around to hug me, giggling._

 _ **"Love you, Daddy."**_ _I realized it then. She never called me Happy a day in her life. She's been saying_ Daddy _all this time._

* * *

I sighed when I woke up. Like always, I always thought I'd wake up in that cozy house in Oregon and have a tiny little girl pouncing on me early Saturday morning. I hated having those dreams, but I loved them too. Those memories were unforgettable and they meant the world to me just like my little girl did. I never regretted bringing her back to Charming, but I would've liked to stay upstate for a few more years.

I felt a leg over my stomach and I threw it off me, making the blonde stir next to me. I didn't usually bring my one night stands home, but I did get pretty drunk last night. It was always pretty fun to beat the crap out of someone with Tig and that's exactly what we did for most of our night. I was downloaded on SAMCRO's newest threat and we went to go kidnap a close friend of Jimmy's. According to Juice, the man's name was Donny and he was Jimmy's right-hand man. He got stripped of that title when I took his right hand off. The rest of the night was the typical back-and-fourth with us asking questions about what the fuck Jimmy wanted, why he was trying to get us out of gunrunning and where he was operating from. After a few progress reports to Clay, he told me to send Donny back to Jimmy. That's when the real fun started.

For the next half-hour of the night, Tig and I took turns cutting Donny's limbs off with a chainsaw. We wrapped the rest of him up and took a picture of his severed head to send to all the unsaved numbers in the phone he had on him. One of them had to be Jimmy. After that, I wanted to turn in, but ended up stopping at a bar on my way home and picked up this broad. With what little conversation I allowed, she told me she hung out around the clubhhouse, but she's never been with a member. Considering how attractive she was, that was pretty shocking.

 **"Hey."** I shook her shoulder until she opened her sleepy blue eyes. **"Get up and get out."**

 **"...I can't."** I heard the woman mutter and I narrowed my eyes at her backtalk, but she pulled her arms forward and they were stopped by handcuffs shackling her to the headboard.

I never liked when whores touched me when I picked them up for sex. It made me feel dirty and I didn't necessarily like scratches on me either. I just wanted to get sucked off, fuck and pass out in that order. _No touching._

I usually hid the key under my pillow and it was right next to my gun. I uncuffed her and after she rubbed her red wrists, she got out of bed to start gathering her clothes. By the time I lit my cigarette, she was out the door and the silence of my house sunk in. I looked on my nightstand and gazed at the framed picture of Talia. She was 15 or 16 and she her hair was a pastel shade of mint green. She was sitting on my bike with her feet up on the handle bars and lighting a cigarette, looking like a little badass. I _never_ let another female on my bike, but she was the only exception and she rode just as wild as I did.

I decided that we could have a day to ourselves. I've still been doing my nomadic work and since Talia's been home, we haven't spent much time together. I knew she'd love that over sized cotton ball I won at the Carnival, but I knew how much she liked being with me. If Tig could bare to have her out of his sight for a few hours, we'd probably watch horror movies and she'd stay the night. We could make pancakes in the morning...

I was still undecided on patching into SAMCRO, but I was more accepting to it now and I know Tal would be happy to have me home more.

It was going on 11, so I took a shower and got dressed. I locked up my place and mounted my bike, headed for Talia's house. I made sure not to be too far from her and the drive was a little over 20 minutes, but I didn't see her car in the driveway. Tig's bike wasn't out front either, so I started for the clubhouse next. Maybe she was getting stoned with Juice. I stopped at a red light and I felt my Burner buzzing. I flicked it open and there was a text.

 _Code Omega-St. Thomas._

Jesus Christ, I don't think anybody's called a Code Omega since John died. That meant someone was bleeding the fuck out in the hospital.

I shoved my phone back in my pocket and took off, flipping off any car that honked at me for disrupting traffic. When I pulled up to the hospital, I saw a few bikes parked along the side and I lined up with them. I didn't recognize Clay, Bobby or Tig's rides and I wondered who the hell could've gotten hurt. I didn't ask for directions from the assistant at the front desk and I went straight down the hall, following the signs on the wall until I saw Jax run down a corridor. I followed him and found Rat, Kozik and Chibs in a lobby. Chibs was sitting in a chair and he was leaning on his knees with his head down, slightly rocking. It wasn't until I got closer that I saw how bloody his shirt and hands were.

 **"What's going on?"** I quietly asked Kozik and he shrugged.

 **"I got here a few minutes ago, nobody's told me anything."**

 **"Where's everyone else?"**

 **"Clay, Sack and Tig are at a deal with the Mayans for those TEC-9s and MP5Ks. Bobby's at Cara Cara keeping Luann off our back."**

 **"She** **lost a lot of blood** **...she** **'s** **so small** **..."** Chibs gravely muttered and caught my attention. **"...she was bleedin' out on me...it was late...Tara didn't answer...had to bring her in..."**

 **"Tara went to some meeting in Napa when we came back, just got home this morning."** Jax said and he kneeled in front of the Scotsman, but Chibs still didn't look at him. **"What happened, brother? Did Mom get hurt?"**

 **"...I don't know if she made it. They haven't told me anything and I've been in here since last night."** He muttered something else and finally picked his head up, looking at me. His eyes were full of sorrowful tears. **"I did everything I could...it was out of my experience."**

 **"Jesus Christ."** Jax sighed and ran his hands over his face. **"What happened to Tal?"**

 **"We were at the clubhouse last night. Lock-down was over and a party was startin'. Tal told me she was goin' out to have a smoke and when she didn't come back in, I went lookin' for her. I found her bleedin' on the ground, saw a car speedin' off. I sent Juice after it, don't know if he caught 'em."** He sniffled and looked at me again. **"Hap, I'm-"**

 **"How did you check her in?"** I cut him off and he looked confused. **"Her ID, Chibs. What ID did you use?"**

 **"The only one I found on her, her real one."** His voice was echoing in my mind and I swear the world stopped because I think my heart did.

I was scolding myself for not making sure she had a few fake IDs when she came home. I always made sure she had at least 3 new ones just in case something like this happened, but she always made sure she never had to get checked into a hospital because Chibs could usually handle any of her injuries. I came back to reality and Kozik was shaking my shoulder.

 **"What room?"**

 **"215, Miles is at the door."** Chibs answered and I was already halfway down the hall when he stood up to follow me.

I could hear the guys asking each other what the hell was going on, but I wasn't really paying attention. I went down the hall for the 200-220 rooms, but I didn't see Miles standing in front of a door or in one of the chairs. When we passed 214, he rounded the corner and chucked a paper towel in the garbage. I asked him how long he's been gone and he said he just went to the bathroom. He assured me nobody's been in her room other than nurses and that they locked the door after they came out, but he didn't know why.

I tried the knob and it opened. I glared at Miles and he shrunk under my gaze, but I went inside the room. The bed was empty, but the blankets were spilling over the edge and the bathroom was empty too. Before I could start panicking, I noticed the other side of the door. There was a bobby-pin sticking in the lock and I sighed in relief. She got out on her own. I felt the bed and it was barely warm, so she got out of here about an hour ago. She wouldn't stay in the hospital, so she was outside and on the move.

 **"Happy, what the hell is going on?"** Jax asked as the guys followed me down the hall. **"Talk to us, man."**

 **"Talia can't be checked into a hospital under her name."**

 **"Why? She doesn't have a warrant out."**

 **"Nightingale Psychiatric Center has an involuntary mental health warrant out for her and if she ever checks into a hospital, they're gonna send someone from Klamath Falls to come get her. That's why they had the door locked, she wasn't supposed to get out."**

 **"Wait, Talia was in a _mental_ hospital before? She's crazy for real?" **I groaned when I realized he'd keep asking questions until I told him the whole story, but we didn't have time for that right now.

We rounded the corner and the entrance was down the hall, but I stopped dead in my tracks. A pair of men were talking to the receptionist and they were wearing dark sea green scrubs. One of them had that goddamn tranquilizer gun strapped on his back and I had to force myself not to think of the day Talia stumbled home scared out of her mind with one of those darts in her. They must've explained who they were and why they had the gun because the woman hasn't called security yet.

 **"Oh, fuck me fuchsia."** I muttered. This is just not my day.

When the woman pointed down this hall, I pushed everyone into the hospital's chapel and had my back pressed against the wall. I was waiting for the pair to walk pass and when they did, I saw a black nightingale stamped over the pocket on their shirts.

I poked my head out and waited until they rounded the corner before I emerged and went outside. I saw the center's van parked a few spaces from our bikes and I made my way over there, unsheathing my knife. I popped their back left tire and took a second to think. The guys were waiting for me to tell them the next move because they didn't have any idea how to handle this situation. Hell, I don't think _I_ knew how to handle this.

 **"You checked her in last night, so they probably got to Charming this morning."** I thought out loud, starting to pace to get my mind going. **"She lost blood and they probably drugged her, so she'll be looking for food and shelter.** **She's in Most Wanted mode right now. She's not gonna go home or to the Den.** **Those men were Rounders from the Center. They know I broke her out of there and the first place they'd go looking would be the clubhouse and my place."**

 **"Maybe she's hiding with that wetback, her guard dog."** Jax added and I thought about it for a minute, but dismissed the thought.

 **"She doesn't trust him enough. Where's Juice?"**

 **"Haven't seen him since last night."** Chibs answered. **"I've been blowin' his phones up all mornin', hasn't picked up."**

 **"And Tig?"**

 **"Just got finished selling the guns."** Kozik answered and flipped his Burner shut. **"They're gonna be here-"**

 **"Now."** Rat cut him off and pointed out of the parking lot.

I heard 4 engines, but 1 rider zipped down the road while the other 3 slowed down. Sack, Bobby and Clay were waving us to follow them and I guessed Tig was leading. We piled on our bikes and nobody could keep up with Tig. He was running damn near every red light and was an inch away from getting run over a few times, but he seemed like he knew where he was going. After almost an hour of driving, I noticed we were en route to the cabin and when we parked, Tig jumped off is bike, barely putting the kickstand down. He ran on the porch and right inside with us tailing behind him. He was frantically calling Juice, but nobody answered and I went to check the bedrooms with him.

The door I opened was the jackpot and I whistled to rally everyone. Talia was still in a hospital gown, but in bed and Juice just locked the bathroom door. He didn't say anything when he saw us and put the key on the nightstand before sitting in the chair next to the bed.

From her deep breaths, Talia was probably under whatever drugs she was given at the hospital, but she looked so frigid and...spectral. Her paleness had to be a result of her losing plasma, but my poor little girl looked like she'd turn to dust at any given moment. She didn't have that glow to her skin and it broke my heart. It was like death draped a blanket over her and was waiting for her to succumb to the coldness.

Rouge's head poked up from behind Talia's still body and she looked so dismal. She sniffed near Talia's head and I heard a sad whine when she sighed, putting her head back down. Tig came in and kneeled next to the bed, moving the hair out of Talia's face. She didn't respond, didn't move a muscle, and he looked back at Juice.

 **"She's fine. It's protocol to keep 'Red' patients heavily sedated."** He stated in a deadpan tone and Tig sighed, setting his head down on the bed. He put Talia's hand on his cheek and was whispering something to her that I couldn't catch. **"I took the liberty of tying up your loose end."**

 **"You found her?"** Tig asked, his head snapping up to the strangely calm man. Juice looked at ease with the situation, but he also looked furious as hell and something was telling me his anger was targeted at Tig.

 **"She's in the bathroom. I've been slipping 20mg packets of Oxy under the door keep her settled."**

 **"Juice, man, I can't thank you-"**

 **"Don't."** Juice hissed and that took me by surprise. What the hell was going on between them? I had a feeling Tig felt like he was just disrespected and he slowly stood up, glaring down at the younger man. Juice got up too and he looked pretty intimidating, also surprising. **"She wouldn't be lying unconscious and missing 2 pints of blood if you would've kept your dick in your pants."**

 **"Stop showing your ass, kid."**

 **"Fuck you, Tig!"** Juice snapped and the intensity of his voice made Tig flinch a bit. I saw a small amount of his confidence shrivel away too. **"You just piss on everything good that comes into your life! You're always preaching about how everyone else better not hurt her, but you fucking cheated on her and look what happened! You told me you were gonna take care of Kaylee and that's why I locked her in your room, why I lied to Talia's face, but you still didn't handle that gash! Talia could've died, Tig, died because of your mistake! Do you know what that would've done to Happy, loosing his only daughter because of you?! Chibs would've taken the blame if she died and he never would've forgave himself! Gemma would've been in pieces!** ** _I_** **would've lost my goddamn mind and it would've been** ** _all your fucking fault!"_**

Juice was heaving now and his nose was flaring with his heavy breathing. The moods escalating in this room were so chaotic, I didn't know how to feel. I didn't miss when Juice said Tig cheated on her or how Tig made him keep his mouth shut, but now wasn't the time to talk about that. I looked over my shoulder and everyone had the same shocked or confused look on their face. Tig was staring at the fuming Juice and I couldn't tell how he was going to react or if he was going to at all. The last time someone yelled at Tig, the guy got his nose bitten off and I was there to see it. Right now though, Juice looked like a rabid and severely disturbed animal and I never knew he could get so angry.

 **"Alright, let's just settle down."** Kozik tried to mediate and stepped between the men. **"We got Tal somewhere safe, she's fine and we just gotta keep her here until those Rounders go away. She doesn't need to wake up and see both of you trying to kill each other. She might be unconscious, but she can probably hear you screaming."**

 **"She's been stabbed before, Juice."** I added, trying to support the calmness. **"When she was in Juvie, she got shived a few times."**

 **"And that daft junkie nicked her in the leg a while back."** Chibs included. **"This isn't anythin' she hasn't experienced before. Just calm down, lad."**

 **"How the hell am I supposed to _calm down_ when my little sister got stabbed while she's pregnant?!" ** Everyone looked at him then and I heard them all hold their breath, but Juice never took his seething eyes off Tig. **"I hacked into the hospital's records before I erased them and sent a false alarm to the Center. They gave her an ultrasound after they patched her up. She's about a month along, probably didn't even know."**

 **"Is the baby alright?"**

 **"Just fine, knife didn't come anywhere near them. She's just gotta stop drinking and smoking, but she hasn't been doing much of that anyway because Chibs told her not to."** Juice was still sneering at Tig, but he went to the dresser and lifted his laptop. There was a maroon folder under it and I saw Talia's name on the tab.

He opened the file and took out a black picture, handing it to me. It took me a minute, but I figured out it was an ultrasound and I didn't see the figure of a tiny human forming because it was too early. What did catch my attention was the 2 black, misshapen holes with small white circles in them. I wasn't a doctor, but it didn't take a goddamn genius to know what that meant and I just realized Juice said 'them'.

I tore my eyes from the photo and to Juice. He was waiting for me to look at him and he smiled when I did.

 **"She's having twins."**

With the good news, the boys started sighing or laughing in relief and the ultrasound picture started passing around. Tig was still rooted in place and I couldn't tell if he was relieved or terrified. He still didn't move when I went to the bed and tucked a strand of hair behind Talia's ear. She still looked too pale and I started to wonder if we needed a blood transfusion.

 **"She's been in and out."** Juice said from my side and I heard the door close. Tig went to the other side of the bed and pet Rouge, still looking like he was in a state of disbelief. **"She comes to every half hour or so, called for you a couple times** **...s** **he's scared.** **S** **he's gonna be fine though. It's the drugs keeping her under."**

 **"I know."** I sighed a bit gently stroking the end of a strand of her hair. I couldn't help but worry about her, but I knew she'd be fine and the babies would too. She just needed to rest. **"Where'd you find her?"**

 **"She got out of St. Thomas on her own and called me from a payphone, told me to go to her house. I thought she went home, but she went to the house she grew up in. It's all boarded up now. I got her, went to her place to get some stuff and changed the plates on her car just in case. She had some stiff from a job in the trunk and I got rid of him."**

 **"Thank you, Juice."** I turned to him and was biting back the tears. He saved my little girl from something she was terrified of and that meant something to me. Talia was a shattered mess after I broke her out and she wouldn't let me out of her sight for a minute because she was so scared those Rounders would find her.

Juice nodded and stood, briefly glaring at Tig before he quietly left the room. I pulled the blanket up to Talia's shoulders and kissed her head, sighing. I saw the key to the bathroom on the nightstand and took it, going to the door. I unlocked it and cracked it open enough to poke my head inside. I didn't see anyone at first, but a pair of legs were dangling over the edge of the tub and I saw the foil packets littering the floor under them. I knew Juice wouldn't let that bitch overdose, so she was probably just too high to notice anything.

I locked the door and put the key back on the small table. I didn't sit down though and I was staring at Tig over Talia's body. His head was hanging and he ran his fingers though his hair before he looked at me. There were tears running down his cheeks and his eyes were getting red already.

 **"I gave her to you and your promised you'd take care of her."** I started in a stale tone. **"You told me you were gonna protect and love her until the day you died, that she was gonna make you into a better man. You told me she wasn't gonna be like your ex-wife."**

 **"She's not-"**

 **"Really?"** I hissed and cut him off, making him stiffen. I was trying my damnedest to keep my voice down. **"'Cause to me, it looks like she's halfway down the road you've already been on** **, but you didn't have the fucking decency to marry her _._ What are you gonna do now, Tig? You gonna runaway from her, leave her to raise ****_your_** **kids like you abandoned your daughters with Colleen? You wanna be a deadbeat Dad for the rest of your fucking life?"**

 **"No!"** He choked out and bolted to his feet, tears still pouring from his eyes. **"I didn't mean to...she was...we never talked about kids, but I do want to make a family with her. I wanna marry her, Hap. I fucked up, I know I did, but I didn't think any of this would happen. That gash was just a leftover that got way out of control. I made Juice help me and he wanted to tell her, but I made him keep quiet about it. I thought I could handle this without her knowing or getting hurt. I'm sorry, Hap, I swear I am."**

I didn't say anything after that and Tig took a second to get himself together, but he'd choke up every time he'd glance at her. I didn't know what to do with or to him right now. My fatherly instincts were screaming at me to rip him to pieces until he was nothing but a mushy pile of bloody muscle tissue, but something else was telling me to do the exact opposite and I was having a mental war with myself. I knew the day would come when Talia would fall in love and bring the man to me, but I really didn't expect it to be Tig.

When I brought Talia back to Charming and we got settled with the Sons, I thought she liked Juice because they were so close. For the first week or so, she stuck to me and didn't talk to any of the guys unless they said something to her first, but there was no stopping the laughter when Juice would come around. The instant liking between them was something I wanted after I decided I was going to keep her, but I had to work for it. She was totally comfortable around Juice by the end of her first day in Charming and I saw how attached he got to her. If they got into a relationship, I would've welcomed Juice with open arms because he was a good man and they were alike in so many ways. They were both naive kids who got into trouble and couldn't care less about anything. I saw how they protected each other and spent time with one another. I could see them growing together, experiencing love. But she had other plans and that's where Tig came into play.

I've known Tig for years and I knew how much he loved women. After Colleen, he didn't seem like he was ever going to get tied down again or even have a girlfriend because he could have all the pussy he wanted whenever he pleased, but he had his eyes set on Talia from day one. With her innocent mind, I thought he filled her head with sweet nothings just so he could tap a younger girl, but he told me he loved her and I believed him. When she left, he was in shambles and he could barely function on his own. When she came back, it was like a new life was breathed into him and I'd see how he'd gaze at her, how euphoric he'd look when she'd smile.

We got a day to ourselves when Talia came back and we went out for a day in Charming. I bought her some clothes, she picked some out for me, we stopped by my gunman to get some new firepower and went to lunch after. She told me all about Moscow and her Russian trainer, how he set up that cathouse for her months before she came home. Then, we started talking about Tig. I kept my mouth shut about all the feminine attention he got on her leave because I'm sure she already knew, but didn't want to go into details. It was then that she told me much she loved him, that she didn't want to be with anyone else, and what she said next made me realize how much my daughter grew up.

 _You can't fight all my battles, Daddy. I'll always be your little girl, but I gotta grow up and do things on my own. You gotta let me experience life without a safety net._

Letting go was the hardest thing, but it was easier knowing how devoted Tig was to her. I knew that gash was a mistake and I knew he was trying to protect Talia, but he shouldn't have brought Juice into it. I knew he probably felt like shit for lying to her, but he knew Tig would beat his ass if he said anything. Still, Tig had _a lot_ of cleaning up to do.

 **"Don't tell her."** I grumbled and Tig looked at me. **"When she wakes up, do not tell her that gash was some whore you cheated on her with. She doesn't need any stress while she's carrying those babies, today was more than enough."**

 **"You're not gonna..."** He cautiously trailed off, a confused look on his face.

 **"It's not my call, it's hers. You're gonna get your shit together and be a damn good father to those babies though. After the kids drop, you can confess or I'll tell her myself. It'll be her decision if she wants to stay with you or not. Either way, I expect to see a ring on her finger. She's a lady and she deserves to be a married woman when she has her first kids."** Tig nodded and he was probably about to thank me, but I shook my head. **"Outside."**

I heard him sigh a little, but he locked his jaw and nodded again. I looked down at Talia and saw that she was getting some of the color back into her skin, so that was a good sign. I quietly left the room and the boys were waiting in the living room with drinks scattered on the coffee table; Opie joined us too. They all got up and followed me out the back door to the open space surrounded by pine trees. Like Juice said, Talia's car was out here and most of the guys went over to lean or sit on it.

I took my rings off and put them in my cut's pocket, sliding the leather off next. Juice draped it over his arm and I gave him my knife. Barely a minute later, Tig came out and he did the same thing, knowing what was coming next.

Talia wanted me to cut the safety net and I was, but I was going to kick his ass first. Grown woman or not, she was still my little girl and Dad does not fuck around when it comes to his kid.


	22. Chapter 22

**X~Kozik~X**

I already knew Happy was going to have a goddamn field day on Tig and I could stand the first 10 minutes of the brawl, but that was it. Tig was barely fighting back and I didn't expect him to. I knew this is what had to be done and I knew there was nothing in this world that could stop a father from protecting his daughter, but I didn't want to see such a bloody fight.

I could still hear the blows landing and Tig grunting in pain, but they were silenced when I closed the back door. I heard Rouge barking though. I went into the room Talia was in and almost had a stroke when I saw her. She was on the floor and trying to pull herself up with the support of the chair, but she couldn't have been strong enough to. She still looked pretty weak. Rouge was at her side and she seemed to be grumbling in protest to what her owner was doing.

 **"What are you doing out of bed, Tal?"** I asked as I placed her back on the mattress.

 **"...didn't feel right."** She muttered and could barely keep her eyes open. I thought she was feeling sick, so I grabbed the trashcan from the corner of the room and kept it close to the bed. I saw Talia briefly shake her head. **"...not me...where's Juice?"**

 **"He's here, we all are. We're at the cabin and you're gonna stay here for a few days. Juice said he handled everything with the Center and we're gonna wait to make sure you're off their radar. Everything's fine."** She nodded and sighed, closing her eyes. Rouge climbed on the bed again and laid on Talia's stomach, making her smile. She gently pet the dog and she nuzzled into her hand. I took her other one and put it between mine to assure her she was safe.

The silence set in and I heard the boys pile back in the house, the light noise making Talia stir a bit. Juice poked his head inside and looked at her before going to the dresser. He pulled out a med kit and I shook my head. I thought about going out there to see how bad Happy maimed Tig, but I decided to stay in here. The last thing anyone needed was Talia trying to get out of bed again and she'd probably get scared if she woke up alone.

With a moment of peace, I started thinking. From that explosive episode starring Juice, it was clear that Tig seriously fucked up with Talia and the woman responsible for hurting her was locked in the bathroom. I've known Tig for a long time and I know he wouldn't purposely put someone he loved in danger. From how I've seen him with Talia, he loved her more than he cared about himself and that spoke volumes. He told me how much he loved her, basically said she was the reason he keeps going everyday.

Now I was thinking about his newest pair of kids. The man hasn't had the best track record when it came to his children and he's stayed out of his daughters' lives to protect them from the madness that the Club brings. He loved them though, he wasn't a good father and he was less than barely ever present in their lives, but he truly loved his girls. Talia was different, I could see it. She meant the world to him and it really was surprising to see that he didn't put a ring on her yet because the man was very possessive about what he deemed as his.

An hour passed and the each of the guys came to check in on Talia, Juice and Happy poking their heads in more often. I was wondering if Tig was unconscious now. Happy came in again and asked if she woke up. She didn't and he took Rouge, probably to let her answer the call of nature. After another few minutes, the door creaked open and I turned around when I didn't hear it shut.

Tig was using the doorframe to keep himself up and he had a lot of white bandages specking his face. Dried and cleaned cuts were scattered everywhere too, but he didn't have a black eye. He looked exhausted.

 **"She okay?"** He asked and I nodded.

 **"She woke up about an hour and a half ago. Her breathing's getting stronger, so I'm gonna try to get some food in her next time she's up."**

Tig gave me a curt nod and I could see him nibbling at his lip where there was a cut. I heard his quiet groan when he pushed off the frame and staggered over to the other side of the bed, plopping in the armchair. He slid the chair to the edge of the bed and took Talia's hand, lacing his fingers with hers. His other hand went to her hair and she turned to him. I heard her take a big breath and when Tig smiled, I knew she was awake again.

 **"Hey, angel."**

 **"You look like shit."** She weakly laughed and he chuckled. **"I knew something was wrong. What happened?"**

 **"It's not important, just me and the guys getting rough. Sweetheart, I gotta tell you something."**

 **"Am I dying? It's Cancer, isn't it? It's always fucking Cancer."**

 **"You're not dying, Tal."** He smiled. **"It's good news, really amazing, wonderful news."**

 **"Kurt Cobain faked his death and Nirvana's getting back together?"** Tig laughed and I did too. Talia had to be fighting to keep herself awake, but she didn't want us worrying about her and was getting our minds off it.

 **"You're pregnant, Tal. We've got a pair of little devils on the way."**

Tig was still smiling at her, but he took his hand from her hair and gently put it on her stomach. Talia didn't say anything. She didn't laugh, she didn't start crying, she didn't ask to see the ultrasound picture. I had to guess she was staring at Tig because his smile was gone and he looked a bit worried now.

 **"...well, that explains a lot."** She finally said something. **"Did they give me an ultrasound at St. Thomas?"**

Tig nodded. He looked to me and I got up to get the sonogram picture from her file. I gave it to him and he showed it to her. She was silent as she scanned the achromatic rectangle.

 **"We're having twins, baby. They're just fine too, didn't get hurt. There's something else I need to tell you though."** Tig set the picture down and slid out of the armchair to get on his knees on the wooden floor. I was still standing at the foot of the bed and I could see Talia's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She couldn't see his hand, but I saw it go into his pocket and take out a navy box, flicking it open to reveal the white inside. **"Talia Rae Lowman, I love you so much and there's nobody else on this planet I'd rather be with. I should've asked you this a long time ago, but now's better than never."  
**

He finally let her see the box and I saw a very impressive ring sitting in there. I wasn't expecting Tig to pick out something traditional for her because they were both unconventional people and I was right. The black band split into 2 before they got to the princess-cut diamond in the middle and there were a smaller pair of round diamonds on either side of the larger stone. There were smaller, silver gems lining the bands and no matter which way he held it, they'd always sparkle.

 **"I just got stabbed, there are mental health employees looking for me, I probably look like a ghost, you look like roadkill and you thought _now_ was the best time to propose?" **Talia laughed and there were tears spilling from her eyes. Tig just smiled back at her and nodded, making her laugh again.

 **"Will you marry me?"**

 **"Y** **es,** **Alexander, I will marry you."**

Tig leaned up and hugged her. I could hear both of them laughing and sniffling, but they detached from each other when they heard the clapping. The boys were all gathered at the door and they started cheering when Tig put the ring on her finger. I decided the newly engaged couple could use a minute alone and I piled out with the rest of the Sons. Everyone had a seat in the living room and kicked their feet up on the coffee table. Rouge was laying on the rug and she was pretty close to Opie, so I guess she was trying to get used to him.

 **"I sent Rat to go get Tara."** Jax announced. **"He'll bring her up here to check on Tal, make sure she's recovering right and get her some vitamins."**

 **"You think she can bring some equipment to check on the babies?"** Happy asked from the armchair next to Bobby. **  
**

 **"I'm not sure. She said she'll bring what she can, but it's gonna be pretty hard to get a huge machine out of the hospital without anyone seeing."**

 **"Call me if she wakes up."** Happy pat Juice on the shoulder and damn near pulled Miles over his chair to drag him outside. I heard their bikes start up and drive off, so I could only guess the grandfather-to-be was going to miraculously _find_ an ultrasound machine.

 **"Is anyone else terrified about this whole thing?"** Clay asked and we all smirked at him, questioning looks on our faces. **"I'm happy to get a pair of kids around here, but _think_ about it, boys. You've got Tig's genes mixing with Talia's and they're both ****insane,** **psychotic, deranged, _severely_ unbalanced individuals. Just _try_ to imagine how their kids are gonna turn out."**

 **"She's gonna give birth to the next Antichrists."** Jax added and that made everyone laugh. **"One of those kids is gonna be just fine, maybe even relativity normal. The other one's gonna be some demented demon that managed to escape the darkest depths of Hell."**

 **"Not to dampen the good mood, but what are we gonna do about that gash in the bathroom?"** Bobby asked and everyone got serious again. **"Juice's had her on a strict Oxy diet for a couple hours now. It's only a matter of time before she overdoes."**

 **"Nobody's gonna come look for her, if that's what you're worried about."** Juice answered. **"She's a junkie whore, Bobby. She doesn't have any family or friends that care about her. I'll cut down her Oxy intake, but we can keep her up here until Tal's on her feet again. I'm sure she'd love to meet the ballsy gash that stabbed her."**

 **"She doesn't need to be fightin'."** Chibs rebuked and the look he gave Juice made no room for argument. **"I'd love for Tal to get hers too, but that's not gonna be good for her or for those kids."**

 **"And we don't kill women."** I spoke out and damn near all the boys turned their heads at it. **"I understand how pissed off everyone is at that woman for all the shit she's caused, but that doesn't mean we go against our rules. That's not what we do."**

 **"We'll talk about it later."** Clay ended that discussion and everyone seemed to drop it at that. **"Right now, we should be getting ready to talk to our neighborhood Cossack leader. Viktor reached out to me this morning, said he'll sit down with us and he was _kind_ enough not to charge. ****Sack's gonna stay here with Tal** **while we head down to to the Jelly Bean Lounge."**

 **"What is it with Russians and strippers?"** Jax asked with a shake of his head.

 **"Have you ever been to the Jelly Bean?"** Opie questioned and he had a mildly disturbed look on his face. **"Those girls are bloated hippos slugging around in g-strings."**

That got a laugh out of everyone, but Opie was the only one who still looked uncomfortable at the meeting place. The idle chatting started up again, but Tig finally emerged from Talia's room and Juice zipped in there as soon as he came out. He got a few pats on the back and congratulations on proposing. There were a few serious threats thrown in about not fucking up again, but everyone seemed to be at ease with what happened.

I asked Chibs if he thought Talia would be ready for some solid food and he said soup should be fine. I went into the kitchen and pat Tig on the shoulder on my way. I rummaged around the cabinets for a can of soup and got a pot to put on the stove, stirring the broth. I noticed Tig at the entrance.

 **"She likes you."** He broke the silence and I raised my eyebrows at what he said. He leaned on the counter next to the stove and was looking down, but glanced at me. **"She said she likes being around you, that you're a good man, some hippy shit about you having an aura that compliments hers...and that she was gonna kick my ass if I didn't stop acting like a stubborn jackass and patch you in."**

 **"As flattered as I am to be on Talia's good side, I don't think even she's enough to convince you."** I chuckled and grabbed a bowl from the overhead cabinets to pour the soup in.

 **"...guess you'll just have to wait 'till the next vote."** I looked up from the drawer, hand over spoon, when he said that, but he didn't look at me again.

I thought about teasing him about how much of a soft Care Bear he's turned into since he's been with Talia, but I bit back all the witty comments I had piling up and smirked at him. If I would've known she was the key to getting him to vote me in, I'd have asked her to convince him a _long_ time ago.

I really was happy to hear that Talia liked me because I liked her too. We were family now. I knew she was going to be out of her goddamn mind if she was with Tig and I've gotten to see just how off she is, but she was such a sweet girl. She reminded me of Gemma. She was an intelligent, dangerous, strong woman who protected her family and she'd do anything for the Club. Not to mention, she was a very beautiful woman and just like Gem, I don't think there was anyone who could come anywhere near to how charming she was. Talia's been around since she was a kid though and I already knew Gemma's been putting her through Old Lady boot camp. Our matriarch had a way with knowing which women would fit into our lifestyle.

Tig came with me into Talia's room and she was out again, Juice at her side with his hand in hers as he typed away on his laptop. I set the bowl on the nightstand and heard Clay call everyone into the living room. Of course, Tig and Juice were having a goddamn standoff until Juice walked out and Tig gave Talia a kiss on the head. He and I didn't leave until Half-Sack came in. With everyone rallied, Clay told us it was time to go.

The ride to the Jelly Bean Lounge was very quiet and everyone looked pretty somber as we rode. When we got there, Viktor was waiting out front for us with a pair of men guarding him. He shook Clay's hand and we followed him inside, getting tailed by more muscle. We were led to the door of a private room and were pat-down, being stripped of our knives, phones and guns. Clay, Tig and Jax were the only ones allowed in with Viktor and 3 of his men. Opie, Bobby, Juice and myself were waiting with more Russian bodyguards. They were staring at us and we were glaring right back at them.

The meeting with Viktor lasted a good hour or so and by now, everyone was leaning against a wall or sitting on the carpeted floor. The door finally opened and our guys came out with the Russian leader. He shook Clay's hand again and we were given our belongings back. When we got outside, Clay looked like he was about to tell us what happened, but my Burner was buzzing. I took it out of my pocket just as it stopped and I looked at the small message screen, seeing 12 missed calls from Rat. Before I could dial his number, he called again and I answered.

 _ **"Finally someone answered."**_

 **"What's wrong?"**

 _ **"It's Talia and Sack. I just got to the cabin with Tara and...everyone needs to get down here. Miles and Happy are already on their way."**_

He ended the call before I could ask him what the hell was going on. I didn't like how unnerved he sounded and I wondered what the hell could've happened at the cabin. We've only been gone a little over an hour.

 **"We gotta get to the cabin."** I announced and all the guys looked at me. **"Rat just called, said something happened with Tal and Sack."**

I knew Tig was about to ask what happened, but I told him I didn't know before he could. Quickly, everyone mounted their bikes and we were dashing down the streets, constantly breaking the tight formation we usually stayed in. Between Tig and Juice, I didn't know who was going faster because they were blurs whipping around the cars. Happy and Miles joined us halfway, but the Nomad was going faster than all of us.

When we got back to the cabin, Tara was sitting on the chair on the porch and she had her head in her hands, crying. The front door was wide open and it looked like it was kicked in. Jax went to his girlfriend and started to softly ask her what happened while the rest of us went inside, seeing hoe messy the living room was. The room Talia was in looked like a goddamn stampede ran through here from the broken or misplaced furniture. Rat was sitting next to the bathroom door and he had a steady look of grimness on his face.

Nobody took the first step towards the bathroom. It was opened a crack and the light was on, but nobody moved. The one thing we were all thinking was that Talia was in there and she was dead. The only person who could ever figure out where this cabin was and would want to hurt us was Jimmy'O. The Irish made a huge mess when it came to hurting someone because that's how they got a message through. From what I've been told, the guys have been on his ass and were leaving behind a trail of bodies to let Jimmy know we weren't backing off. Cameron was sticking with SAMCRO for sure and he hasn't been getting any threats from Jimmy, but he always keeps an eye out. This though, him coming into a place we considered safe, could be him telling us that the games were done and the surefire way to do that would be to hurt family, someone's Old Lady, sister and daughter.

It took another second, but I found the audacity to start moving and I gently pushed the door open. The half of the bathroom I looked at was fine. There wasn't anything wrong, no mess anywhere. It was the left side of the room that made me cringe. The shower curtain was halfway hiding the tub, but it was almost filled to the top with blood. I saw a pair of legs hanging out of the bath, but they were unevenly sized. It dawned on me then, one of them was a man's leg and the other was a woman's...

I didn't want to, but I slowly stepped closer to the tub and started to see the streaks of plasma running down the sides. I grabbed the clear curtain and took a breath before I yanked it back. I gagged at the sight and stepped back, bracing myself on the sink in case I puked. Half-Sack was in there. Well, his _head_ was for sure and I think it was severed. His arms were flanking either side of him, but there was another head under his left one. I saw green eyes fixed in a death stare and the first thought that came to mind was Talia.

But that wasn't her. It was that junkie gash and she had a Squealer's Scar gouged into her cheeks.

 **"Sack's dead."** I coughed as I came out of the room and everyone was in here. Jax was near the door with Tara and she turned into his chest, crying. **"That woman is too."**

 **"So where the hell is my daughter?"** Happy growled. **"He fucking took her?!"**

 **"I don't know, Hap. Sack could've been protecting her from whatever happened and she managed to get out, but she wasn't in that bathroom."**

 **"Why would he take her?"** Tig asked and his voice was steady, but his eyes were chaotic. **"He wouldn't know the slightest thing about her, she can't do anything for him. What the hell does he want her for?"**

 **"Leverage."** Clay said and all eyes turned to him. He was staring at the ground as he thought, but picked his head up. **"Nobody else finds it a little strange that we just went to see the Russians for a prolonged hour and not only is a Son dead, but Tal's missing?"**

 **"They ratted."** Bobby sighed. **"Viktor probably told Jimmy he was gonna sit down with us today and had someone trailing us up here. He took her to keep us at arms length. They must've planned this."**

 **"Her file's gone."** Juice said and I noticed he was at the dresser, that somehow managed to stay upright unlike the other overturned furniture.

 **"That's why he took her."** Chibs said and walked to the dresser, running his fingers over the top. **"He just backed us into a corner, lads. He took a wounded, pregnant woman captive and he knows we aren't gonna do anything 'cause he's got her. Every move we make could put Talia's life at risk and he knows that."**

 **"We can't just stand here and wait for him to demand something."** I barked and caught everyone's attention. **"She's _pregnant_. We need to get her as far away from that maniac as possible."**

 **"It's not like we can just call him and ask where the hell he is."** Clay sighed and muttered something as he ran his hands over his face.

With the idea of calling in the air, I heard a phone start to ring. The boys all looked at each other and pulled our Burners out. None of them were ringing, so we took out our personals and they were silent too. My ears perked at the sound and I turned back to the bathroom. As much as I didn't want to, I went back in there and the ringing got louder. It was hard to pinpoint where it was coming from because the sound was echoing off the walls, but it got louder when I got to the tub. I glanced in there and saw the blood rippling under the severed legs.

 **"Miles, get in here!"** I called and he appeared at the door, but looked at the scene in the tub and took a step back. **"You want that patch, don't you?'**

 **"Um...y-yeah?"**

 **"Then stick your hand in there."** I visibly saw the gulp he took and Tig poked his head inside, looking at the bloody mess. He didn't look phased by it and when heard the ringing, he shoved Miles inside.

 **"I-I really don't..."** Miles gagged and covered his mouth.

 **"Are you disobeying a direct order from a patched member?"** Tig questioned.

 **"I thought-"**

 **"All in favor of patching Kozik into Redwood, say yea."** I heard a hasty 'yea' from the rest of the guys in the bedroom and Tig was glaring at Miles now.

Tig came next to me and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for Miles to do as he was told. Honestly, the kid looked like he was about to shit himself, but he rolled up his sleeves and reluctantly dipped his hand into the mass of blood, cringing as he did. I heard his soft grunts of fear as he fished around for the phone and when he pulled something out, it was a blood soaked plastic baggie.

There was a phone buzzing inside it and I could see the light through the red. Tig took the bag and rinsed it off in the sink while Miles ran to the toilet to puke. We left him to get himself together and went back into the bedroom. Tig flipped the phone open and pressed a button.

 _ **"Be gentle with her, she is a Mother-to-be."**_ Due to the heavy cadence, I could only guess that Jimmy was on the other end. He chuckled, but we couldn't hear anything in the background. No doors opening, no screaming, no commotion. It was silent. **_"Am I speakin' with a Son?"_**

 **"You're speaking to all of them."** I answered plainly, no emotion in my voice. There was another moment of silence and I thought he hung up, but the timer on the small screen said otherwise. **  
**

 _ **"Herman Kozik, yeah? How's your brother?"**_ Before I answered, insulted him really, Chibs shook his head and I kept my mouth shut. _**"I take it you've seen the surprise I've left for you all?"**_

 **"The small massacre in the bathroom? Yeah, it was hard to miss."  
**

 _ **"**_ _ **The woman fulfilled her part and was no use to me anymore, but the Son was payback, a**_ _ **n eye for an eye as the sayin' goes. A dear friend of mine, Donny, was brutally beaten and severed into multiple parts. I'm still gettin' the rest of him sent to me in the post. I'd suspect that was the work of Mr. Lowman or Alexander. By the way, congratulations on your engagement! Talia and I will share a glass of sparkling cider for your good luck. We can't have her drinkin' while she's gravid. Tell me, Alexander, are you going to leave this beautiful woman to raise another set of your kin like ya' did with your daughters or has she changed your heart?"**_

 **"Where is she?"** Tig demanded, but he didn't yell. His voice held a deep dominance, but he didn't raise it. **  
**

 _ **"At the moment, she's getting those godawful chemicals rinsed out of her. Might I add, Alexander, you truly know how to pick a woman. She's like a piece of art and I'm utterly captivated. She reminds me**_ _ **a bit**_ _ **of Fiona. Filip, would you like to hear how Kerrianne's doing? She's grown up so fast."**_

 **"I'd like to hear what the hell ya' want from us."** Chibs tried to keep the snarl out of his voice, but some of it came out and Jimmy chuckled. **  
**

 _ **"All in due time, Filip. For now, I'd like for your little Club to lay low and let my deal with Mr. Putlova complete. That means, no more dead bodies. Once Donny's all here, I'll call again or perhaps**_ _ **...**_ _ **I'll send a part back."**_

 **"You'd better not fucking touch her!"** Happy yelled and snatched the phone from Tig's hand. **"If one hair on her head is missing, I'll cut you up just like I did your friend! I'll drown you in your own fucking blood, you dirty fucking Turf-Cutter!"**

 _ **"My, my,**_ _ **such vile statements could only come from**_ _ **Mr. Lowman. Tell me somethin', do ya' see**_ _ **Austin every time you look at her?"**_ Happy was about to snap again, but what Jimmy said made him go totally still. _**"You haven't told her yet, have ya'?"**_ Jimmy tutted, laughing. _ **"Tell ya' what, I'll break it to her as gently as I can. She's a big girl now, I'm sure she can handle it...she is? Good, let the doctor see her. That's all the time I have for you today, gentlemen. Remember, be good lads and the little miss doesn't get hurt."** **  
**_

The call ended and Happy was still frozen in place as the silence sunk into the room. Nobody moved or blinked. Hell, I don't think anybody was breathing right now. Suddenly, the small phone was hurled against the wall near Juice and it was pretty close to colliding into his shoulder. Happy stormed out of the room, but I think he hit something else on his way because a hard thump came from the living room.

With no other option, Clay told us to keep things PG-13 and try not to cause too much trouble until Jimmy called again. Miles finally stumbled out of the bathroom and Tara regained her composure, so she led him into the kitchen to get something for his nausea. Rat was still slumped next to the door, but Chibs closed it and pulled the younger man to his feet with the promise of a hard drink. Juice mumbled something about his computer and jogged away, probably going to get it off his bike. Tig and I were the last ones standing in the messy room. I didn't know what was going through his head, but I knew he was hurting. His pregnant fiancé was just abducted and we couldn't do a goddamn thing about it because we could get her hurt or killed.

 **"Who's Austin?"** I asked, remembering how the name fazed Happy. **  
**

 **"** **Talia's** **biological father. He died years ago and nobody ever found his body, so he couldn't have ever met Happy."** He sighed. **"Jimmy's got a lot of dirt on us already, personal shit."** **  
**

 **"The man knows how to do his research, I'll give him that. He's already got Tal, so I doubt he'll go after anyone else. We just gotta wait this out. She'll be fine, Tig."**

 **"Yeah...I hope so, brother."** He pat me on the shoulder before he stalked out of the room and I knew he was going to be pretty down without his lover around, but there wasn't much we could do at the moment.

I didn't realize it until I was about to leave, but he just called me his brother. The vote he called earlier was totally unofficial, but I'm sure the guys were tired of going through this debate with him not patching me in every week and they didn't give a damn about the rules. Right now, I didn't either.

I was back in Redwood Original and my first priority was getting it's princess back.

* * *

 **I hope you guys are enjoying the story. I recently found out that links don't appear in my profile, so I made a Pinterest account and found pictures to give you guys visual representations of my characters from this story, Come Waste Away With Me and Never Let Me Go. My username's in my profile and I hope you'll take a look at it.**

 **I'm starting the rough-draft on another SOA story too, look to the future :3**


	23. Chapter 23

**X~Tig~X**

Jimmy's had Talia almost a month and a half now and these weeks without her have been fucking unbearable. Things within the Club were pretty calm too, just like Jimmy fucking wanted. We haven't interfered with anyone in or associated with the Russian Mafia, but we had Miles and Rat watching that grimy mudak 24/7. They knew Viktor's every move, but whenever they heard any talk about that green, they knew to back off.

Jimmy's called like he promised, but we never got to hear Talia to see if she was still alive and that made all of us snap on that bastard. Of course, he was enjoying making us squirm, but he kept telling us to trust his word on Talia still having a goddamn pulse. His calls were usually instructions and a name of someone he needed us to off for some unknown reason, probably favors for Viktor. We got our hands dirty and he'd check-in to see how we were progressing. That got us a small package sent to the clubhouse. Everyone thought the same thing: Jimmy cut off one of Talia's fingers or toes or took her eye out or cut one of her ears off. He didn't though, he gave us a positive pregnancy test with a baby carriage ornament and once we cashed in a favor, we got it sent to a lab for identification purposes.

That's how we communicated now. Jimmy would call us to do his dirty work, tell us Talia was still alive and send us something of her. A lock of her hair or something that could hold her DNA. We were getting sick of being his bitch and just when we were about to track down that crazy green, he called again. Along with instructions to meet at Santa Ynez airport, Jimmy told us to scrape up some cash and we'd trade off. He'd give us Talia and leave the states. Considering we didn't wipe our asses on 100 dollar bills and Jimmy's price was in the millions, we didn't know what to do. Everyone pulled every penny they had and Clay took everything from TM, but it still wasn't anywhere near enough. We weren't even close to half a million, nevertheless, filling 2 duffle bags full of stacks.

Chuck came to our rescue then. He said he kept a shitload of counterfeit cash from the Chinese and we blended the real money with the fake. Chibs pointed out that if Jimmy was leaving, he'd have a lot of armed muscle to make sure we didn't try anything and they'd kill us after they got the cash. It'd take too long to rally the other charters, but Juice had an idea of who'd be willing to help us. The 20 hardcore wetbacks Talia had tucked in her pocket. We met with Felix, explained our ordeal and his posse almost started a goddamn revolution upon hearing of Talia's abduction, but after a bit of degrading ass kissing on my end, they agreed to aid us.

We supplied the Devils with the AC556K and M4A1 Carbines we had stashed in our warehouse and Felix sent them to the airport at the crack of dawn. We were scheduled to meet with Jimmy at noon and that gave us all morning to mourn at Half-Sack's funeral. Thankfully, the kid wasn't cut up into a billion pieces like that gash was, just decapitated, and the mortician did one hell of a job stitching his head back on his shoulders.

After Half-Sack's burial, Miles and Rat went up to the cabin with Gemma and Tara. We started the 3 hour drive to Santa Ynez and we piled in the solitary hanger like Jimmy instructed. The building looked like it was a cargo hold now, wooden crates being the only thing occupying the space, but I did see a black Lincoln MKT parked in the far back. I didn't see the Devils anywhere and I briefly wondered if Jimmy's goons caught them sneaking in here. The last thing Talia or her cathouse needed was their protection to vanish because those wetbacks were keeping Caruso away. He got off Luann's case after we trashed his set, but he was still lurking around.

I didn't get to dwell on the thought or check my cell to see what time it was because the sound of another metal shade scraping open echoed though the place. Like expected, Jimmy had 10 bodyguards with semi-automatics and I didn't see any blood on their clothes, so the possibility of the Devils being alive was still active.

 **"Well, don't you all look high in spirits."** Jimmy said sarcastically. He stopped about 7 feet from us and his muscle made a line on either of his sides. **"Not to sound rude, but you all look like you've just came from a burial."**

 **"We did."** Jax snarled. **"It was for that kid you senselessly butchered."**

 **"I could've sworn I explained my reasonin' behind that. Oh, I do have a bit of good news to share. Donny's all gotten back to me. I had him cremated. I'm gonna spread his ashes today and I'd invite all of you, but it's a one-way trip to Chile. Enough about the dead. This is supposed to be a joyous moment. We're both gettin' what we want toady."** Jimmy clapped and smiled at us like the sick bastard he was, putting his attention on Opie. **"Now, if you could bring the money over...Harry, is it?"**

Opie didn't say anything and it was probably for the best. The last thing the man needed was for Jimmy to bring up his ex-wife and kids because he probably knew where they were. Opie looked to Clay and he nodded, but he didn't move until Chibs gave him a nod too. Slowly, with Jax and myself flanking him, Opie started walking towards Jimmy. The green had 3 of his men accompany him and he took the bags, giving it to the pair of guards on his right. The men took the bags to the nearest crate and opened them. They took out a few stacks and quickly thumbed through them. I could tell they weren't thoroughly looking at the cash and I highly doubted they could spot a counterfeit bill because they looked like meat-headed idiots drooling over their next pay, but I wasn't complaining.

They turned to Jimmy and nodded, zipping the bags up. One of the men took both of the bags to the car in the back while the other joined the lineup. I had to guess Jimmy wasn't leaving from this airport. As cocky as the man was, he wouldn't have let us watch him fly off because we'd try to stop him.

 **"Go fetch the lovely lady."** Jimmy waved to his only ginger bodyguard and he looked a bit hesitant, but left the room.

The dead silence lasted for a good 3 minutes, then we heard a very pissed off voice getting closer and the sound of shoes scuffling against the floor with the occasional male grunt echoing off the walls.

 **"Get your goddamn hands off me, ya' thick-mick, sid! I'll bite your fucking ears off!"** I sighed when I heard Talia's voice, but I've never heard her like _that_ before. I've heard her snap the fuck out when she was angry, but this was a whole new level of rage. She sounded stronger too, like she was in good health, and that was so much weight off my mind. **"I'm gonna shove you back up your Mother's tainted cunt, you over-sized fucking leprechaun!"**

 **"She's got a very animated character."** Jimmy smiled. **"I** **'ve actually become very fond of her. She's quite the charmer.** **As promised, Talia'** **s unscathed, but I can't say the same for some of my men. One of them had to be put in intensive care a few days ago.** **The little miss has** **been gettin' any necessary medical attention as well, lots of water, supplements and vitamins for the state she's in. I've made her stay with me as comfortable as possible."**

The ginger man came back and and was struggling to keep a grip on Talia. He had some bleeding scratches on his face too. He had her over his shoulder and she was still cursing as she pounded at his back, trying to kick at his gut. He put her down and had to rip her claws from his hair, but managed to position her in front of him. She looked unscathed, but highly pissed off and I was making sure I didn't miss any damage by slowly running my eyes over her body starting at her feet. It looked like Jimmy's been taking good care of her like he said because she was clean and had new clothes on. There weren't any stains of blood on her jeans and she was wearing a dark olive open-shoulder pullover, so I couldn't see her arms, but I doubted anything was wrong.

When I got to her neck, I quietly sighed when I saw her necklace and I went up to her beautiful face. She was still glaring something ghastly at the ginger man, but there wasn't a ring around her throat, weren't any cuts on her face and her black hair wasn't messy. I had to blink a few times, but it never changed. That comely shade of lavender wasn't on her locks anymore. Her jet black hair looked sleek and soft. Her wavy locks had a bang covering her forehead and stopped at her chest in the front now. The dark color made the shade of her eyes stand out, and the redness in her face from how aggravated she was, but I don't think I've ever seen her look so beautiful a day in my life. Hell, she was glowing.

That's what Jimmy meant by getting the chemicals out of her, taking the dye out of her hair? Why the hell did he care about her well-being so much? She was his captive, all he had to do was keep her alive or at least, make us _think_ she was still alive. He did say he liked her and I wondered if he actually talked to her like a pair of normal people would. Neither of them could be considered normal, but who knows.

 **"I've greatly enjoyed your company and as much as I'd love for you to stay, it's time for us to part ways."** Jimmy smiled at her and motioned over to us. Talia harshly shrugged out of his muscle's grip and sneered at him, but was walking backwards to us.

 **"I got your face, asshole."** She pointed at the man who brought her in here and Jimmy raised an eyebrow in amusement. **"I'm gonna find your wife, cut her throat and make you drink her blood. You fucked with the wrong girl, ya' greasy, potato sucking, spud-fucking, bog-trotting, overcooked Hot Pocket!"**

 **"Christ Almighty, lass. Where'd ya' learn to speak like _that?"_** Jimmy commented with a smirk and Talia stopped halfway between us. **"** **That mouth needs to be thoroughly scrubbed.** **If I was your Da, I'd have ya' over my knee 'till your backside was screamin' red."**

She walked right up to him, giving me a goddamn heart attack, but I saw him wave at his men to not shoot her. Talia calmly started saying something in Russian and Jimmy looked interested in it, but I doubt he knew what the hell she was saying. Her tone got more aggressive and she motioned with her hands in a hack off gesture before spitting near or on his shoes. She turned on her heel and stuck her nose in the air, leaving Jimmy smiling as she came to our side. The balls on this woman. She went straight to Juice and he tightly hugged her, but tucked her behind him, acting as a human shield.

 **"Would someone care to translate what she just said?"** Jimmy asked, still smiling. **"This is the first time she's spoken in a different language."**

 **"She wished a horrible plague upon your family, threatened to take all your fingers off with pliers, fill ya' with** ** **Nitromethane** , throw you in an open fire and called ya' a hibe, cat-lick cross suckin', dickhead." **Chibs gravely translated and Talia barked something else in that foreign tongue that made him raise an eyebrow. **"That last bit was a bit too explicit to translate, lot of religious slurs that'll send her on a one-way trip to the inferno."**

 **"Guess I'll see you in Hell then, sweetheart."** He winked at Talia and she smiled back.

 **"Go cuddle a cactus, you provo sack of pig bile."** Jimmy put his hand over his heart and mouthed 'ouch' as if she said something that hurt him.

 **"Nice seein' you, Filip. I'll be sure to tell Kerri and Fi that you're well."**

Jimmy smugly started walking away with his men and they rounded the corner, but started coming back. Their backs were to us as they had their hands up and 20 masked wetbacks were pointing guns at them, barking orders in Spanish. I heard Clay whistle and guns started firing, Jimmy's muscle getting pumped full of bullets. their bodies jerking with every one they took. Once the gunfire stopped, the bodies started dropping to the ground and blood was seeping from them. Jimmy was the last man standing and he looked at all of the dead bodies around him. One of the Devils, whom I guessed was Felix, grabbed him by the shoulder and brought him over to us. He positioned Jimmy in front of Chibs and the Scott already had a pair of knives clutched in his hands.

The rest of the Devils made a barrier behind Felix and had their guns pointed on Jimmy in case he tried to run off or try something. Chibs wasn't scowling like I thought he would. He looked very calm, but it was a dangerous tranquility and I knew his eyes were raging with fires hotter than the ones in Hell.

 **"I got this."** Chibs said and Clay gave his shoulder a squeeze before motioning for us to pile out.

Felix said something in Spanish and his guys closed Chibs inside their circle, blocking out our view. He went to the car and grabbed the bags of half-fake money before he followed us out. When we got outside, Opie had Talia in a hug and since she was so short, he had her a few feet off the ground as he spun her around a bit. She was laughing and kissing his cheek in between. He set her down and Juice didn't run over to her, so I guess they already had their moment. Bobby, Clay and Jax got hugs and she gave a long one to Kozik. Her back was to me and she must've said something to him because he smiled and whispered something back to her.

When Talia turned around, her eyes locked on mine and it felt like we were the only 2 people in the world. Nothing else mattered except her and I couldn't think of anything more important. She slowly started walking over to me and I followed suit, forcing myself not to run to her. Once we were close enough, her small hand caressed my cheek and pulled me down to her face.

The second I shut my eyes, I felt like someone just cracked me in the face with a metal baseball bat and I was thrown off balance. The first thing I thought was that Jimmy's sneaky ass managed to slip away from our Mexican barricade and he just shot me in the face. My jaw was stinging and burning, but my vision focused again. Talia was still in front of me, but I only saw her for a second because she slapped me and I heard the sound echo.

 **"You sneaky, lying son of a bitch!"** She growled and started punching me. Jesus, she was trying her damnedest to try to break my goddamn bones. **"How dare you?! I gave you everything!"**

 **"Ow, shit! Will you stop hitting me?! What-ow! Goddamn it, woman!"**

Talia kept beating my ass and all I could do was try to shield anything important. If I tried to grab her, she'd break my arm and I wasn't guessing either. I saw it happen a few times. After what felt like an hour, Happy intervened and managed to detach his daughter from my now tenderly aching body. I think I was internally bleeding. Happy had Talia's arms locked behind her back, but she looked like a demon freshly brewed from Satan's worst nightmare and her raging eyes were on me.

 **"He told me his little plan."** She panted. **"Jimmy's had eyes on the clubhouse weeks before I came back and he's been gathering info on everyone. He was gonna sever all the relationships SAMCRO has in the gun business, but you guys caught on and he needed leverage. When I came back, he saw how everyone was around me, pegged me as someone important to the Club, thought I was Gemma's daughter or niece or something. He had his angle and was going to pay someone to Prospect for the Club, but found _someone who was already inside_ and got them to put me in the hospital. Ringing any bells, _Alex?!"_**

 **"He-"**

 **"Sent Kaylee, _your fucking mistress,_ to stab me! Jimmy had some fucked up idea that there was some kinky love triangle going on! If the whore wasn't already dead, I'll kill her myself!"**

 **"Busted."** I heard Juice tease and I glared at him, but he didn't seem intimidated by it. I made the mistake of taking my attention off Talia and she almost got out of Happy's grip, managing to free one arm that she balled into a fist.

 **"Jimmy saw you with her all the goddamn time, saw Gemma talking to her and he picked her up, promised to shower her in all the Oxy she could dream of if she got me in the hospital! She was in the clubhouse and snuck into Juice's room to bug his laptop! That's how he knew everything about everyone! Jimmy paid off the Rounders to take me to him when they came! So not only did you cheat on me, you fucking piece of shit, but that psycho bitch could've killed** **me** ** _and_ ****your goddamn kids! You fucked up being a Dad the first 2 times and you're gonna do it again?! And _you!"_** Her guttural growl was for Happy and her foot curled behind his ankle, making him fall. **"How could you?! After everything I've been through, after all we've done for each other! Why has everyone been lying to me?!"**

 **"What are you talking about?"**

 **"When'd you get custody of me, _Happy?"_** She hissed his name and he looked confused to hear it, but stood up.

 **"When you were 9. I waited until the shock wore off and the heat died down."**

Talia stared at him then and the silence that came with it was chilling. Happy ducked a swing from her and he managed to evade every punch she threw, always being one step ahead of her. Kozik stopped her this time and reminded her that she needed to calm down.

 **"You got custody of me when I was 16, before we came to Charming."** Talia explained and with a hostile calmness. **"After you filed for custody the first time, you didn't do it again because one of my parents was still alive. You _couldn't_ get custody because I wasn't orphaned."**

 **"Jimmy lied to you. You know your parents died that day."**

 **"My Dad didn't. He wasn't beaten to death, he was battered unconscious and dumped unceremoniously in a ditch on the side of the road. Someone saw him and got him help. He was in a coma for years, but the doctors had nothing to ID him by. When he woke up, you found out where he was, Happy. You tracked him down and killed him, you heartless bastard."**

 **"Talia-"**

 **"That's not my fucking name!"** She snapped, but took a breath to calm herself. **"My name is... _was_ Natalia ****Rayne Langdon. My Mom used to call me Talia all the time and you kept calling me that** **so I wouldn't notice when you** **shortened it. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that's not true. Tell me Jimmy fucking lied. Tell me the newspaper article he showed me was bullshit. Tell me the mausoleum I saw at Greenwood Memorial Terrace wasn't my Dad's."  
**

Happy said nothing, just stared at her. His impassive face was contradicted by the...fear in his eyes. All my life, I've never seen Happy afraid of anything and I was pretty sure he didn't know how to be scared of anything. He had no fear factor and he taught Talia that; it made her into such a cheerful person. Happy was the master of horror and pain, so the only thing that could possibly make him nervous would be Satan spawning in front of him.

I was taking in what Jimmy told Talia now. I thought back to the day she got taken when Jimmy called us and asked Happy if he thinks about Austin every time he looks at Talia. I didn't piece it together then, but it was clear now. Happy told me her father's body was never found and I'm sure he believed it up until he tried to get full custody of her. From that moment, he was doing everything in his power to find that man and I remembered the 3 months Happy went ghost because that was a few months before he came hurdling into Charming with Talia. He usually keeps us up-to-date on where he is and when he'll come back to Charming, but he was practically dead to the world. He spent that time finding her Dad and killed him...

 **"W** **hen you were kidnapped, t** **hey took you to Waldport."** Happy finally said something and his voice had no emotion in it. His head was hung a bit and he wasn't looking at Talia, but she was still glaring at him. **"I drifting and had a place in Corvallis. That's where we were living at first, were I took you after I found you. Your...Austin was all the way in Spokane getting recreational and physical therapy at St. Luke's. When he woke up and after he was able to talk, they got his info...I found him."** He huffed, smirking a bit and looked at her. **"I told him I was a reporter doing a story him."**

 **"What did you do?"** Talia spat and Happy lost the light mood he was going for, hanging his head again. **  
**

 **"I spent 2 of those months trying to get my hands on some Propofol."**

 **"Anesthesia."** He curtly nodded at her.

 **"That last month...I got to know him. He told me how much missed you and Juliana, how much he loved you both...how sorry he was for everything that happened. He thought you were already dead and I saw that opening, slipped the drug into his IV and waited. He died in his sleep, autopsy said lack of oxygen induced by the drug and his nurse was held responsible.** **It was quick, painless. I bought him the crypt and limited to family. You weren't supposed to be allowed to get in until you were dead...you weren't supposed to find out."**

 **"How could you?"** Talia asked and I figured she'd be crying by now, but she wasn't. Her lip wasn't quivering, her voice wasn't trembling, there were no tears glossing her eyes. Honestly, the only time I've seen her like that was on the handful of times she asked me to help her with her Bounty work and she was about to kill her target. She was phlegmatic, shut down any and all emotions.

 **"** **I wanted to send you off to whatever family of yours turned up, but you grew on me and I got attached to you.** **I watched you grow up, Tal. I couldn't let you go. I knew you'd run off if I told you what I did, probably kill me. I just...I had to keep you with me. I love you, Tal, you're my little girl."**

 **"No, I'm not."** She coldly replied and the clicking of a gun made me alert.

Talia had my gun in her hand and she had it steadily aimed right on Happy's head. She wasn't even a foot away from me and I didn't feel when she took it. She was always a sneaky woman. Happy slowly brought his head up and for the first time in possibly forever, the Nomad was crying. His eyes were reddening from holding them back, but the tears were steadily streaming down both his cheeks.

 **"I had nothing until you found me. I was a scared, broken little girl and you saved me. You were all I had, I called you my Dad...but you lied to me about _everything._ You're a kidnapping murder, Happy. ****You made me into you, made me into the freaky little Frankenstein I am now, because I made you feel like something good.** **I'm not supposed to be this way. I'm not supposed to think killing is okay, I'm not supposed to be used to it and it's your fault."**

 **"I'm sorry."** He choked out. **"I'm so sorry, Talia."**

 **"** **You should've killed me like I asked you to.** **"** She continued, not regarding his apology. **"Don't even try to make me believe that killing a child is below you 'cause you're the lowest of the low** **, Happy** **. _Nothing_ is too much for you. Lying and cheating are things I can forgive and forget, but you've done way too much damage. ****If you would've told me my Dad was alive, I wouldn't have gone back to him, but you didn't and now you're losing me.** **You're dead to me** **and** **I hate your fucking guts. I swear on Chibs' Catholic God, if you so much as _look_ at my kids, I will rip your beating heart out of your fucking chest, Son or not.** **"**

Happy managed to steal a glance at her and she lowered my pistol, letting me take it out of her loose grip. Taking a look around, the boys looked as heartbroken as Happy probably felt and the Nomad was still rooted in place. Talia just stripped him of his Father and Grandfather roles. I knew how excited he to be a granddad and have the little family of his grow. Talia was the light of his life too, the only thing closest to blood he had other than his Mother and Aunt, but it was all taken away from him in a matter of. He had to be crushed now.

Talia made her way over to Juice and he led her to his bike, waiting for us to join him. I turned around and Chibs was already out of the hanger with the rest of the Devils behind him. They had their masks pulled up on their heads and they even looked a bit sad at what they just heard. Felix went around the back of the hanger with them and they came back in their lowriders. We thanked them for helping us and Clay tried to toss them a few stacks to show our gratitude, but none of them wanted to be paid.

The drive back to Charming was painfully quiet and nobody so much as looked at each other for the entire drive. We drove up to the cabin and Tara ran out with Gemma to hug their men, sighing in relief that they were okay and in one piece. Gemma went to Talia and showered her in love too, tugging her inside. Gemma, Tara and Talia went into a bedroom and I heard a few beeps coming from in there, so I had to guess Happy managed to _find_ a sonogram machine to bring up here.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence and passing around a bottle, Tara and Gemma came out. Gem went over to Happy and gave him a long hug while Tara came to me with a fresh ultrasound picture, giving me the rundown on how Talia was doing. Now, she was about 11 weeks along and the pregnancy was progressing well. She warned me about the stress factor, that she could miscarriage if put under too much strain, and I heeded it, thanking her.

 **"You should go see her."** Tara said and pat my shoulder before going to the armchair Jax was sitting in, letting him drape her over his lap.

I got up and went to the the room the girls came out of, poking my head inside the cracked door. Talia was sitting up in bed and smiling at Rouge. The happy mutt was on her back and softly grumbling in serenity as she got her belly rubbed, paws splayed in the air with her tonged leaking out the side of her opened mouth. I knocked on the door frame to let Talia know I was here and I stepped inside, taking the spot at the foot of the bed. I noticed the huge tomography machine next to the dresser and wondered where the hell Happy got that thing from.

 **"You feeling okay?"** I asked and she nodded.

 **"Tara said the babies are fine, but I had a sudden increase in stress today. She wants me to take it easy. Jimmy didn't do anything to me either. He had me locked in a hotel with his goons and a doctor all those weeks. We came down from the cemetery early this morning. He was so nice because he thought I'd rat and tell him something that could hurt the Club or that I'd kill all of you after he told me the truth. I wouldn't, ever."**

 **"I know you wouldn't...I'm so glad you're okay..."**

She stopped petting Rouge then and sadly stared into nothing. I had to guess she was letting everything that happened today sink in and I stayed quiet while she was processing it all. I've never been so tight-lipped around her before. It felt like all the words I knew were foreign to me and if I said any of them to her, she wouldn't know what the hell I was talking about.

 **"...I think I need to be by myself for a while."** Her voice cracked and that heartbreaking sight of her crying sent thorny chills down my spine. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes, but I still saw the tears. **"With what happened today with Happy and you, I just...I gotta get away from all this stress, Alex. I can't- _I will not-_ loose these children."**

 **"I understand. You gotta do what's best...what about us?"** I faintly whispered.

 **"You're gonna be a Dad again and I want our children to have 2 parents that love them. We're gonna be a family, Alex. You're gonna be the Dad you always wanted to be. You're not gonna walk out on our kids and I'm not gonna take them away from you. I'm not gonna keep them away. I'm gonna talk to Gem about finding a solemniser who'll do a quick ceremony and we'll put something together."**

 **"After all this, you still wanna marry me?"** I probably sounded shocked, but I was beyond relieved to hear it.

 **"I love you, Alex, and I always will. There's nobody in this life or the next that I'd rather be with. You seriously fucked me over with that Kaylee shit and h** **onestly, this is the first time I've ever thought about killing you. I literally had a foolproof, step-by-step plan to tie you down and send you into an excruciating episode of Cardiac Arrest when you went to sleep tonight."** I let out a little laugh at that and she did too, still crying a bit. Talia took a breath and looked at me. Tempted, I reached out to wipe her tears away and she let me. **"But I don't care about any of that anymore. All I care about is our children. I want them to have the childhoods we should've had."**

 **"And they will. We'll do this however you want, angel."**

 **"Good...because I'm picking the names."**

 **"Fair enough."** I chuckled, thinking about how 'creative' I was when I named my daughters. I moved up to the head of the bed and Talia was hugging my side before I could attempt to put my arm around her. She wanted comfort and if she wanted me to give it to her, so be it. I was just happy to hear that she wasn't going to take our children away and leave me. I couldn't go through that again, especially not with her. **"Does Tara know if they're boys or girls?"**

 **"They're the sizes of kumquats. I don't even think they know what gender they are."** She giggled. **"Tara said we won't know until I'm 15 to 18 weeks. I gotta find a bigger place to move into."**

 **"No, you don't..."** I muttered and she looked up at me. **"I already found one, planned out our future together. I should've asked you to marry me a long time ago, Tal."**

 **"Yeah, you should've."** She smiled. **"What's the house like?"**

 **"Oh, it's perfect. 4 bedrooms, 3 and a half bathrooms and a huge backyard for Rouge and the kids. There's day-cares and elementary schools in the area and the place isn't too far from the clubhouse. We can go see it after the ceremony or when we leave here, whenever you want. I don't know what's gonna happen between you and Happy-"**

 **"If I'm left alone with him for 10 seconds, nobody's ever gonna see him again."**

 **"You're not gonna give him a chance to-"** I started to try to convince her to let Happy earn that grandfather title back, but the way she looked at me made me clam up. I thought she'd reconsider because of their history and because of how forgiving she was to me, but her mind was set. **"You can take however long you need to be away from me and the Club. Maybe when your settled...I could come back and we could work things out...if you want."**

 **"Yeah...maybe we can."  
**

Talia brought her hand up to my face again and for some reason, I thought she was going to hit me and tell me to get out. Expecting that, I locked my jaw, but her thumb swiped over my cheekbone and caught a tear I didn't even know was there. I gently put my hand over her stomach and hers came over it.

I started to think about all the second chances she's given me and I was so grateful for her forgiveness. As soon as Jimmy told her about Kaycee, she could've decided she was done with me and that would've been the end of us, the end of _me._ I really couldn't live without her, she meant too much to me for her to suddenly disappear from my life. I'm sure any other woman would've left my ass after being told they were cheated on, getting stabbed by some junkie _and_ getting kidnapped, but Talia wasn't just some woman.

She was my Old Lady.


	24. Chapter 24

**X~Tig~X**

SAMCRO's been running very smoothly lately and thanks to our growing history with Cameron, our gun shipments have been coming in sooner. We could sell them at an earlier date or store them for safe keeping and know they'd be protected because we had a few new faces around here. Former Nomad President, Rane Quinn, got patched in a few weeks after Happy split. He didn't tell anybody he was leaving and nobody knew where the hell he was now or where he could be going, but we put the word out to all our other charters to send us a head's up if they see him. We just wanted to know he was okay and **alive.** Quinn brought Montez along and he was patched in too. Clay, Bobby, Chibs, Jax, Opie, Juice, Kozik, Miles, Rat, Quinn, Montez and myself now sat around the Reaper for the Redwood Original charter.

Clay's been listening to Jax on his thoughts about getting SAMCRO's hands clean. VP wanted to get us into more legit businesses, but he wasn't trying to get us out of gunrunning. If anything, he was trying to give us a better cover to keep Charming PD and the occasional ATF agent off our asses. With that in mind, we became Luann's business partners and got a nice pay from her porn studio. Quinn and Montez or Rat and Miles would usually be at Cara Cara for protection, and fucking, purposes; they'd keep an eye out for prospective women to recruit. With a bunch of men in her corner, Luann was very interested to hear all the kinky ideas we had in mind for her films. They were mainly girl-on-girl fantasies with a few sex toys, oils or whipped cream thrown in the scene, but our creativity was bringing in lots of profits and publicity.

Speaking of Jax, he finally got around to divorcing Wendy and he put her in a Rehab center. It was the type that patients couldn't check themselves out of and they didn't release them until they were as sober as a goddamn saint. He and Tara got married and the reception was beautiful. I've never seen Jax look so happy and Gemma kept a stoic face throughout the ceremony, that she planned perfectly, but I knew she was happy for her son. She still kept Tara at arms distance and they have a fairly 'polite' relationship, but it was clear that they did not like each other. Since the wedding, the newlyweds have been trying for a little Teller and everyone was waiting to hear the pregnancy announcement.

Speaking of pregnancy, Talia and I have been on pretty good terms too. Like she wanted, we had our small ceremony with all our family watching and I showed her that bigger house I picked out. She fell in love with it when she saw it. The place was a teal and white Craftsman cottage with 2 levels, a front porch and fenced backyard. The Sons and I helped her get settled and she took her leave of us, only being in immediate contact with Juice or Gemma. She always called me when it was time for her ultrasound appointments and like I hoped, we were getting a pair of boys. Austin Gabriel and Jayden Alexander Trager.

Talia spent most of her pregnancy away from the Club and it was for the best. She didn't need the stress and we didn't need an enemy trying to kidnap her again. Juice even took the initiative to stop visiting her so much and Tara replaced him with bi-weekly visits, always coming to me with a little progress report on how Talia was doing. My sons weren't too keen on coming out of their mother anytime soon though. When Talia's due date rolled around, she wasn't getting any signs of going into labor and that meant daily trips to the doctor to make sure everything was fine. To make matters worse, when my sons finally decided they were ready, the Club was on a run and we drove all night to get to St. Thomas. Austin was out in no time and after 15 minutes of prying Jayden's stubborn ass into the world, I got to see my beautiful boys that night.

They both had black hair like their parents and honestly, it was damn near impossible to know which was which. It wasn't until I got to see their eyes that I saw the difference. Austin had a darker shade of Talia's sea-green eyes and Jayden had my eyes, but they were much lighter and on the icy side. I've never cried so much in my entire life than when I saw my boys.

Talia let me help her with our sons in their early months. I was always at her house and I'd only leave when I absolutely had to which was limited to going to work or handling Club business. For some reason, the boys took an immediate liking to Chibs and it was probably because of the way he talked. Jax was another story. Almost every time he held Austin, he'd start crying and Jayden would always throw up on him, so VP kept his distance. Bobby gets his beard tugged on a lot and Juice doesn't have to do anything for them to start laughing at him, but they always try to scratch off his head tattoos. Opie's the only one who's had baby experience and he handles them just fine. Kozik loves being around them and Gemma cried the first few times she saw them. She always said they they were just so beautiful. Miles and Rat loved them too, even built a little playground at TM for them.

With the boys growing up and Gemma always wanting to babysit, Talia and I got some much needed alone time to talk about us. She told me that she wouldn't ever divorce me, but that she wasn't too sure about us being together again and I understood that. If anything, I'd say we were separated, but I wanted so much more and that's when our sex life was revived. That woman was sexually _starved_ of intimacy and I was happy to be her release, euphoric to see her alluring faces of pleasure again. Even after having our sons, she still looked beautiful and her baby weight went to all the right places.

As time passed, Talia brought our sons around the clubhouse more and I got to have them every weekend or when she had to go on a Bounty trip. She let SAMCRO come back into her life and we'd always go visit. She never said it, but I knew she had me on a pretty tight leash. If I screwed up, I knew she'd prevent me from seeing my sons and that was the last thing I wanted. I wasn't going to mess up again, not with my boys. Being in their lives was something unexplainable and I cherished every milestone.

* * *

I was so fucked. Talia was going to chew me out and I couldn't imagine when she'd so much as speak to me again.

Austin and Jayden were 6 now and they're personalities are starting to kick in. Jayden's a little goofball and he's a pretty bubbly kid while Austin's more on the quiet side, but he likes reading and drawing. Apparently, the kid was a goddamn genius because he got bumped up to Second Grade. The boys are in elementary school and they're on the school's soccer team. Jayden knows how to call me and he keeps me up to date on all the moves they're learning at practice or when their next game's coming up. So far, I haven't missed one and I'd be cheering right next to Talia in the crowd of parents. The boys loved the sport and they were amazing at playing.

But back to why I was in such deep shit.

I asked Talia if I could have the boys for a few days because she recently got back from a Bounty trip in Vegas and I wanted to cut her a break. I told her I'd be there to take the boys early _yesterday_ morning and here I was, speeding down the road _2 days later_ at mid-noon. Like any sorry asshole who wanted to apologize to his lady, I had a bouquet of pale coral Gardenias and mauve Peonies because they looked like 'I'm sorry and I love you' flowers.

I pulled into Talia's driveway and parked my bike next to her car, gently taking the flowers out of my satchel. When I took the key out of my cut, I froze for a minute and started thinking. I knew I earned this key and I knew Talia could take it away from me just as quickly as she gave it to me. Sighing, I sucked up my fear, held opened the white screen door and quietly unlocked the front door. It could've been mistaken for a creaking floorboard, but I knew it was a growl and I smiled. I heard Rouge's nails tapping on the wooden floor as she got closer and she rounded the corner from the hall leading to the kitchen.

 **"Hey, honey."** I kneeled down and she came to me to get a pat.

Rouge was cutting it close to her elderly years and I wanted her to have puppies, so I asked the nice old lady down the street from my place if her Husky, Kenai, would be up for some doggie love; she said he'd love to. She told me when Talia used to take her for a walk, Kenai would always be waiting for them to come back because he wanted to see Rouge.

Rouge usually shadowed the boys, so I started heading for the kitchen and found them in there. Jayden was sitting with his back against the sink's cabinet and playing with some action figures. Austin was standing on a little stool and just opened the microwave. He grabbed the cookie printed oven-mitts from the counter and took out a steaming bowl of food. Carefully, he took it to the table and set it down in front of a chair.

 **"Go wash your hands, Jay-Jay."** Austin instructed and his brother got up, sliding the stool over to wash his hands like his sibling told him. There was a short towel hanging off the bar of the oven and he wiped his hands off on that before climbing in the chair. Austin reached for the napkin holder and tucked a few in the neckline of his brother's shirt before pushing his chair closer to the table. **"Don't forget to blow on it real good 'cause it's hot and it'll burn your tongue."**

While Jayden was loudly cooling off his meal, Austin went to the fridge and got a juice pouch. He poked the straw in and set it next to his brother's bowl. When he turned around, he noticed me and I smiled at him, going over. I caught Jayden's attention and his mouth was covered in red sauce, but he waved at me with a spoon sticking out of his mouth. I kissed both of them on the head.

 **"What happened to your face, Daddy?"** Jayden asked with a mouthful of food and pointed to one of the bandages I had on my face.

 **"Me and all your Uncles got into a fight with some wannabe tough guys."** Jayden looked star-stuck and he smiled at his brother, starting to go a mile a minute about how amazing the brawl probably was.

I managed to answer a few of his questions, which made him ask 10 more, but Austin told him to finish his lunch or he wouldn't get to watch TV afterwards. That got Jayden focused. Austin's had no problem with taking responsibility for his little brother and he acts like an adult sometimes. Jayden always listens to him though.

 **"Where's Mama, little man?"** I asked Austin and he took my hand to lead me away.

We went upstairs and let my hand go when we got to the top. He went around the railing to the end of the hall and put his finger to his lips before poking his head inside the cherry-wood louver door. He waved me to come in and he quietly went to the side of the bed. Talia was tangled mess of sprawled limbs in the red and brown patchwork blanket, her wild hair the only thing telling me which end her head was at.

 **"Mommy."** Austin whispered and softly poked her cheek, making her eyes open. She brought her head up and looked concerned, but saw me and relaxed. **"I made ravioli for me and Jay-Jay and I finished first. Daddy's here now, so you can sleep all day."**

 **"Oh, thank you, baby. You're such a good big brother."** She smiled at him and ruffled his hair, making him giggle. He went back downstairs and Talia sat up, rubbing her eyes. She still looked exhausted and I felt even worse for being so late. **"Don't apologize to me."**

Talia stretched and ran a hand through her hair to push it out of her face, looking at me after. I was about to tell her I was sorry for basically bailing _and_ not calling, but she obviously didn't want to hear it. Without anything else to do, I set the flowers on her nightstand and sat on the edge of her bed. I couldn't bring myself to look at her because I knew she'd probably look so disgusted with me, so I kept my eyes on the burgundy carpeted floor or the linen walls. I could feel that leash tightening around my neck.

 **"I know you don't wanna hear it, but I really am sorry."**

 **"They were so excited to see you."** I forced myself to look at her then. Talia was leaning back on the rosy-brown headboard and her head tilted to the side a bit. **"As soon as we got off the phone, Jayden went to pack his bag and was waiting on the doorstep all morning. Every time he heard an engine, he'd get so hopeful that he'd see you coming down the street, then he'd get so sad when he'd see it was just a car passing by. He was prepared to pitch a tent and stay out there all night. When it was 2 in the afternoon, Austin figured you weren't coming and he got over it, tried to get his brother's mind off it. You're not doing too good with that one."**

 **"I'm sorry."** I said again because nothing else sounded right. There was nothing else I could say. **"I wanted to come, told Clay a few days in advance, so he could clear my schedule. Some assholes rolled into Charming a few weeks ago and they're trying to make changes. They're working with Jacob, David's brother, because he thinks he can run the MC outta Charming with their help."**

 **"Who are they?"**

 **"Some Neo-Nazi scumbags called LOAN. That's why I didn't- _couldn't_ come. There was a pretty big fight, Hale broke it up and I was sitting in a cell with the guys for 2 days. Fuck only knows what those assholes did when they got out."**

 **"I thought something like this is what Clay didn't want."**

 **"It's just an old problem with a new face."**

 **"It's a potential war on Main Street. Once bullets start flying and someone's kid gets nicked in the crossfire, everyone's gonna turn their back on the Sons and Jacob gets what he wants. When he's mayor, the MC is only gonna be able to do so much. He's not like Elliot."** She was right.

This little back-and-fourth between us and LOAN has been going on a few days after they setup a cigar shop on Main Street. It wasn't a major problem, but it was still something that needed to be settled. They wanted us to stop selling guns to our brown and black packs, but that wasn't happening anytime soon. The Mayans were loyal customers and we were getting pretty peachy with Alvarez. They'd invite us to Club parties and we extend our invitations to them too, mainly inviting them to a screening of Cara Cara's latest film. Talia's even seen a few of our brown buddies at her cathouse and she says they get along with the Devils. Hell, the Mayans even attended Jax and Tara's wedding. We called on each other when more muscle was needed or to protect a family member or close friend from some bullshit until the heat died down. They had ties in prostitution and Alvarez was talking to Clay about some brothels that were looking for protection.

The One-Niners were the same too, no problems on that end. They weren't as warm and welcoming as the Mayans were, but we always got paid on time and that's all that mattered. We'd usually call T.O. when a deal happened to let him do all the talking and to let Laroy see that we weren't racists assholes, but the waves between black and white were calm. The Grim Bastards started hanging around Niner territory and they'd spread good words about SAMCRO to get our clients to ease up to us.

The Lin-Triad was another thing. They were sometimesy when it came to buying from us and Henry would call a few times a year to see if we had anything. I think we were their last resort, but we didn't know who else they'd be buying guns from. So long as it wasn't from some ballsy assholes doing it under our noses from Charming, we were fine.

To suddenly cut black _and_ brown off would probably start another goddamn war and we didn't need that, Charming didn't need that heat. What we really didn't need was the FBI or ATF sticking their noses in our business either. They keep their backs turned to our outlaw shit until it starts making headlines.

This LOAN problem was taking a toll on the Club, putting a lot of strain on us. I wouldn't say that trust is the main problem between my brothers, but it's definitely on the list and that was bad because that's exactly what LOAN wanted. They wanted us to turn on each other, so we could break apart and they'd pick off what was left of us. They wanted to break the legs of our foundation and we needed to squash this before our barriers started to crack.

I sighed and laid back, my head on Talia's stretched legs that were covered by the blanket. We've kept her out of what we were doing because I didn't want her or my boys to get involved with any of our bullshit. It was the same with Tara, but Jax had that woman boxed in a world of ignorant bliss. She was just like the people around town. She knew we were the big, bad neighborhood biker gang and she formed her own opinion about us. Talia though, she knew _exactly_ what we really got into and just how dangerous shit could get. Still, she always knew how to help us or at least get us on the right track.

I didn't want to think about any of that right now. I was with my family and I wanted to enjoy the time I had with them. I always felt like I had a time-frame to be with them and the window of opportunity was always closing, but I was going to make the most of it.

 **"Maybe you and the boys could come stay with me for a few days."** I offered, coyly glancing at her. **"The guys would love to have them running around the clubhouse and I wanna experience the hell of getting them ready for school in the morning."**

 **"Spare yourself from that torment."** She smiled, but it slowly faded. **"You need to spend more time with Austin. Jayden says your his hero and he wants to be just like you, but Aus...he seems distant when you're around. I know you're trying, but don't pull a no-show again, Alex. You're gonna crush the kid."**

I nodded and her hand came to my cheek, her thumb softly rubbing the skin. I did notice how Austin wasn't as excited as his brother when he saw me and the same thing happened after I missed one of Fawn's birthdays. She was probably 5, but I don't think she ever forgave me. I turned my head to kiss Talia's palm and kicked my boots off, crawling in bed. I was laying on her and she had her arms around me, our fingers intertwined over my chest as she periodically gave me kisses on the side of my face. She knew I was trying not to fuck up being a good parent and I'm glad she was giving me a chance.

 **"They usually take naps after lunch?"**

 **"Jayden does sometimes, but Austin started growing out of it when he started Second Grade. Kid's growing up too fast."** She pat me on the chest and I leaned up to let her move. When she got out of bed, I got to see what little clothes she was wearing. A dark red tank, black socks and indigo boyshorts with a lace trim. She walked over to her dresser and started brushing her hair. **"Did you wanna go out?"**

I didn't answer her and she didn't seem to mind because she was rummaging through her dresser for something while my eyes were glued to her ass, _my_ ass. Separated or not, she was still my wife and neither of us were going to change that. I sure as hell wasn't. I wondered if she's been with another man. She had the right to and she didn't have to tell me either. Since the boys were born, I haven't been turned-on by any of the Crow Eaters at the clubhouse and it would take a lot, and I do mean a lot, of alcohol for me to fall into bed with them. That wasn't a frequent thing either. Just looking at them, I'd remember the gorgeous woman I had as a wife and I'd want her. Fantasying about her didn't cut it anymore and I'd always find myself creeping over here to crawl in her bed damn near every night.

Talia peeled her tank up and off and my cock started to stir to life when I saw her bare back. From the looks of it, she got her dreamcatcher touched up recently, but I noticed a few changes. Dangling between a pair of cyan beads and a feather was 'Jayden' written in cursive. Next to that on a slightly longer feather was 'Austin' and my name was on the longest quill. It looked like our names were acting as the string holding the pellets and plumes together. It was beautiful.

With the opportunity, I took note of just how curvier she got. Before she had our sons, Talia sported a thin and athletic build. She was a petite girl, but not lanky and twiggy. She was still tiny, but her maternity weight just filled in everything and she was exercising to get it in the right places. Her hips and waist were curving into that beloved hourglass shape and I just wanted to run my hands along her sides. Her legs were still slim and soft as were her arms. That delicious ass got more into that heart-shaped figure and her breasts weren't D-Cups, thank God, but fuller C-cups and they were perfect. Her hair wasn't waist-length, stopping a bit after her shoulder blades, but I remembered that she told me she was thinking about cutting it again, pixie cut short. She could pull it off, but I never liked when her hair was even in a ponytail and I'd usually tug it out. I wanted it to be long and flowing, so I could run my fingers thought it.

 **"...you're staring."** Talia muttered and I was pulled from my episode of admiration. Jesus, she was so beautiful.

I saw an outfit atop the dresser, but I noticed Talia had her arms wrapped around herself, covering her torso. She was partially looking over her shoulder at me and I could see the red on her cheeks from here.

 **"I can't help it. You get more attractive every time I see you."** I heard her small huff and she turned her head, making the black curtain of her hair fall behind her shoulders to partially shield her tattoo. It dawned on me that she was probably insecure about how she looked since she had our boys and seeing her lose that alluring confidence she's always had was strange.

I got up and walked behind her, gently setting my hands on her hips. I rested my chin on her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her, molding her into my frame as I kissed her neck.

 **"You're just as** **gorgeous** **now as you were before."**

 **"I'm fat now."** She grumbled and I frowned at her dismissive tone.

 **"You're not fat. You're as curvy as a Coke bottle."** She laughed at that and it made me smile.

 **"...you still think I'm pretty?"** She asked in a whisper and breaking my heart because she thought I wasn't attracted to her anymore.

 **"I never thought you were pretty."** I admitted and I felt how rigid she got. I turned her around and cupped her flushed cheeks, making her look up at me. **"You're too good for pretty. You were always** **beautiful** **to me and you still are."**

She was still covering herself and her flush had spread across her cheeks now. I thought that was adorable. I gently took her hands and tugged them around my neck. Gliding down her silky legs, I pulled her on me and turned us around to walk to the bed. I never took my eyes off her and when we fell on the mattress, I was already kissing her sweet lips.

Honestly, I think Talia and I have been stuck in the honeymoon phase our entire relationship. Well, it was true on my end. Every time I see her, I get warm and fuzzy inside to the point where I start to think I'm queer because it feels like I could shit out a goddamn rainbow with leprechauns doing the Irish Two-Step on it. I'd never get tired of or bored with making love to her and I feel that connection every time. This hasn't ever happened to me with another woman, not even after Colleen had Dawn and Fawn. I knew that meant I loved this woman to pieces, probably more than I cared for myself.

When I heard Talia's soft moan, I realized that my mouth was working on her neck while my hands had intentions of their own on her breasts.

 **"Alex..."** She sighed, gasping when her nipples got tweaked, and she arched into me. I could feel her tingling. Christ, I was ready to blow.

I've never unfastened my pants so quickly a day in my life and my eagerness made Talia smile. I shoved my jeans down and tugged the bottom half of her to the edge of the bed. I kissed down her stomach and slipped my hands under her panties, eager to get to that delicious part of her. Rouge's barking made my ears perk and Talia shot up. I could faintly hear Austin and Jayden giggling and...water splashing on the floor. That can't be good.

Talia wrapped herself in a robe and I was dashing right behind her, calling the boys. They weren't in the bathroom, so we went downstairs and into the kitchen. They weren't in there either, but Rouge's barking was closer and we ran down the steps to the basement. There were bubbles _everywhere,_ hordes upon mountains of white suds, and it smelled like lilacs.

I could still hear Rouge barking, the boys were screaming with laughter and the humming of the washing machine was the newest sound.

 **"Austin, Jayden!"** Talia called and they were hysterical now. I could pinpoint where they were and I ran into the abyss of foamed soap.

It took 10 minutes to get the boys and Rouge out of that mess and find the machine to turn it off, but the bubbles started going down. Now, Austin and Jayden were sitting in their underwear on the folding table and one of wicker baskets underneath them was holding their soaked clothes. Talia and I took turns drying them off, moping up the floors and getting Rouge dry too. I went to check to see if the washing machine was totaled and thankfully, it survived that mess.

 **"What were you doing down here?"** Talia asked and I realized she had a 'Mom' voice. It was just like when Gemma would scold Jax for fighting with her.

 **"We gave you the day off from being Mommy."** Jayden started. **"So you could go to sleep and be with Daddy 'cause Nana said if Mommy and Daddy get enough alone time, we could get a little brother or sister and that means _I'll_ be a big brother."**

 **"We were taking care of the house."** Austin explained. **"We let Rouge go outside to make her poos and cleaned it up."**

 **"And we made lunch for school tomorrow."**

 **"And we got our clothes out, but we didn't touch the iron 'cause you told us not to."**

 **"And we cleaned our rooms and washed all the dishes in the sink."**

 **"Then we saw the baskets next to the door and wanted to wash them for you."**

 **"We used all the soap in the house too!"**

 ** _"All_ the soap?"** Talia asked warily and they both nodded, grinning like the little demons they were.

The boys explained that they wanted the clothes to smell, and I quote, 'better than a unicorn's throw-up', so they put bubble bath, dish soap, laundry detergent and fabric softener in the load, thus making that legion of froth. Talia thanked them for trying to give her a break, but they were forbidden to touch the washing machine without her. The boys seemed to understand and they didn't get in trouble for trying to help out.

The cellar had a few windows and we opened them to let it dry out. Talia announced that we were going to my place for a few days and Jayden's excitement made his brother get pepped up. I went to help them get dressed and made sure they had everything packed in their backpacks while their Mom got ready. We piled out of the house and Jayden was begging me to let him ride on my bike with me. He's rode with me twice and I always make sure he's safe, but I asked Talia if she was okay with it anyway. Austin took the opportunity to get his booster seat and strap himself in the passenger seat of her car while I made sure my spare helmet was tightly secured on Jayden's little head.

When we started riding, Jayden had his hands on my cuffs and I made him think he was steering because he seemed so damn happy. We got to my place and the boys unloaded their bags in the room they shared. We went to a nearby playground and played with the boys for a good 2 hours. After stopping for frozen yogurt, we went to that lake I took Talia to when we had our picnic date. At first, we taught the boys how to skip stones and had a contest to see who's could go the furthest. Then their shoes came off. Austin and Jayden were trying to collect frogs or tiny turtles while Talia and I were snapping all the pictures we could on our phones.

With our mud-coated kids, we went back home at nightfall and hosed them down in the backyard before giving them a good scrub-down in the tub. It was messier than that bubble mountain stunt. After our sons were cleaned, _again,_ we ordered a pizza for dinner and watched _Teen Titans_ because it was the boys' favorite cartoon. Jayden's favorite character was Beast Boy and Austin's was Robin.

Everyone was out light a light on the couch. Austin was curled up in Talia's lap and her head was on my shoulder. Jayden's legs were stretched across Austin's legs and his head was in my lap while Rouge was sleeping at our feet. I managed to get Austin and Jayden into their room in one trip. Once I tucked them in their beds and kissed them goodnight, I carried my wife into my bedroom and drifted off...only to be woken up a few hours later. Jayden told me he had a nightmare and I expected it. He always had it rough the first night he'd come over and I was used to it by now.

I let him get in bed and his back was on my chest. It was then that I noticed Austin in bed too and in the same position with his Mother. Talia peeked at me and smiled. She reached over our sleeping sons and took my hand, lacing our fingers over our boys. If I knew these kids, I knew they'd be all over us by morning and I didn't mind it one bit. This was what a family was supposed to be like and I loved it.

 **"Tal?"** I whispered.

 **"Hmm?"**

 **"Let's have another baby."** Even in the darkness, I saw her eyes snap open and I smiled at her. I told her I wanted a big family and apparently, Jayden wanted to be a big brother. **"You've got that spare bedroom at your house and I'll get a bigger place if I need to, but we need a little girl."**

 **"We don't _need_ another child."**

 **"I want another kid and so do the boys. Please, Tal?"**

I heard her sigh and I smiled at it, but I didn't know if that was a yes or a no on another baby. Talia went quiet, but I was basking in this moment, having this perfect family of mine.

 **"I think Mommy and Daddy are gonna give us a baby."** Jayden suddenly whispered and I saw Talia's eyes open again.

 **"Nana said they gotta be alone at night."** Austin whispered back, his voice low like his brother's. **"C'mon, we gotta leave them alone. Be quiet."**

Austin and Jayden slowly slid out from under our arms and off the bed, quietly leaving the room. When I heard them go into their room, I started laughing. I pulled Talia closer to me and rolled on top of her, seeing her narrowed eyes.

 **"Convince me to give you another baby."**

 **"First and foremost, you're still young and we should be trying to have all the babies we can before I'm a dry well."** I admitted in my best political voice and she smiled. **"I want another _daughter_ because she'll be a mini version of you. You can teach her to sing and you'll talk about boys and ****I'm gonna spoil her rotten.** **I want her to be my second chance, how I redeem myself...I won't let her slip away like I let Dawn and Fawn."**

 **"Name."** Talia prompted and I thought for a second, secretly excited that she was considering.

 **"Jessica."** I decided. **"Jessica Faye-"**

 **"Try again."** Talia's arms came around my shoulders and her lips were on my neck, her chest pressed against mine.

For a minute, I tried to come up with a combination of names I thought Talia would like and she'd either take something off and did something that made me tingle or she'd back off. I guessed she wanted a short middle name and I was saying all the one-syllable names I could think of. Just when I thought it was a lost cause, I said the right thing. Perfect is a better word because Talia was ready to finish what we started earlier and get a head start on our daughter.

Jessica Blaire Trager was in the making.

* * *

 **To KelseyNicole08, I'm sorry for breaking your heart, but I have some glue and Northern Lights to inhale and mend with you. If you caught that reference, I love you ;3**

 **To the Guest review about how Talia should've made Tig grovel more, I just couldn't write anything good in a situation where he had to and I felt like it would be a bit boring. I like to base Tig and Talia off of Clay and Gemma. Just roll with the punches, forgive and forget, because there's more important things to worry about and Talia's main concern is her babies. She and Happy? That relationship is dead. Like Talia said, if Happy would've told her that her father was alive instead of running off and killing him, she wouldn't have left him.  
**

 **Then you've got to think about what was going through Happy's mind when he found out Talia's Dad was alive. He took this shattered kid in, gave her a home, loved and raised her like she was his own. I don't think Happy's ever been in love romantically or had something that he could keep close without it being scared off or killed by what he does or the Club. Talia was the first thing he let in and that's a pretty big deal.**

 **Oh, and Talia purposely named her son Austin as a constant reminder to Happy about what he did. Happy's still out there, but I doubt he'll make another appearance.  
**

 **Like this chapter, I'm going to be skipping through the years and giving you all a dose of Papa Tig.**

 **Then I'm gonna break your hearts again 'cause it's what I do.**

 **Keep in mind what Mr. Sutter said: _"If you want a happy ending, go watch Cinderella"_**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	25. Chapter 25

**X~Tig~X**

After I fell in love with Talia, I didn't think I would ever see such a beautiful person ever again, but my daughter was runner up. Jessica Blaire Trager came out with chestnut brown hair and the prettiest sapphire eyes I've ever seen. She was the most precious thing on this planet and Talia let me move in after she was born. Austin and Jayden just turned 16 a few months before she was born, because it took _that_ long for Talia to agree to give me another child, and I'll be damned if Jayden didn't try to keep her attached to his hip all the time. Just like his Mother, he had one hell of a singing voice and he'd be singing his little sister to sleep when Talia didn't. I've never heard Austin sing, but he does rap when his brother asks him to and he can make some impressive beats on just about anything. I was going to get the kid a drum set soon.

The boys were still hooked on soccer and I'm proud to say that I haven't missed a single game. They've won quite a few trophies and Talia decided to trade her muscle car in for a Ford Explorer because she was officially a Soccer Mom. According to her, she had 6 sons. Our boys, Damien, Scott, Raymond and Hayes. When it was her days to carpool, I got to meet the boys' friends and they seemed like a good bunch, but my God, they could eat everything in the house in under an hour.

Other than Jayden having to go to Summer School in 9th grade, the boys do pretty well in school. We've gotten called up there a few times and it was usually because they got into a fight, pranks or because Jayden managed to get a month's worth of detentions in a day, mainly for being inappropriate. That kid loved women just as much as I did. Talia got him a ukulele or some kind of tiny guitar that he usually has strapped on his back all the time and that gets the girls going. Austin's had the same girlfriend since his freshman year and he's introduced Aria to us. The strawberry blonde was a bit peppy, but she was very sweet and she got along with Talia. Austin seemed very happy with the little miss and I was glad he found a nice girl. Jayden hasn't brought home a girl and he said he wasn't getting tied down until he was 29.

* * *

 **"C'mon, princess. Go to sleep for Daddy."** I pleaded with my daughter, but she was still fussing.

It was time for my little doll to go to bed, but she had other plans because I've been in here trying to put her down almost a half-hour. One of the hardships of Talia accepting Bounty jobs was me taking over as the head parent and having to deal with a very cranky baby girl. The boys were nothing. They could do everything unsupervised and they only came to me when they needed a little cash or to tell me they were going out with friends. Jessica was a different story.

This girl loved me and it was probably because I always stole her from her Mother. I could get this kid laughing so much, she'd have hiccups for a few minutes and she always came crawling to me when someone scared her because she knew Daddy would kick their ass. With this being our only daughter, Talia kept her close and was very over-protective of our little girl, coddled her even. Jessica was a very cuddly baby and at 9 1/2 months, she accepted the transition from getting food from her Mother after the first few attempts. Jayden didn't want to let go until he was damn near a year old, but Jessie was like Austin and was fine with moving on to real food.

I fed her dinner at 6:30, got her washed up at 7 and she finished her bottle at 8. She went down for a good half-hour, then I heard her crying. The boys didn't make much noise and they were in the backyard with their soccer pack when Jessie was sleeping, came in at 9. They usually turned in a bit early on a school night or when they had weekend soccer practice and were probably in bed now.

It was 10:07 and I was pacing along the nursery rocking Jessica. I checked her diaper and she didn't need a new one. I tried giving her a bottle again and she didn't want it; that goes for her binky too. She couldn't be in pain, so I could only guess she knew her Mother was gone and she wanted her. Talia's been gone almost a week and she wasn't coming back until tomorrow. Her daughter picked the perfect time to be a Mommy's Girl.

I turned around when I heard the door open and Jayden was there in his boxers, his eyes not even slits. His golden blonde hair was wild with bedhead and I still couldn't believe Talia dyed it for him. He looked like a little Nazi now, but Jayden was always the strangest one of all us and his strange was in a good way. He liked to stand out and that's probably why he wanted to be a blonde. Until we saw how Jessica turned out, he was considered our normal child because Austin inherited his Mother's fixation with fire. Needless to say, he has to be closely watched when the 4th of July rolls around.

 **"Listen here, you adorable little noise monster,"** He said, wagging a finger at his sister, and she looked over my shoulder at him. She was still blubbering, her hand in her mouth now, but her cries got quieter. She called him Ja-ya because she couldn't say his name yet and pointed to him, looking up at me. **"The noise stops right now. I've got practice tomorrow and I need my unneeded beauty sleep."**

Jessica's bawls got louder as soon as he stopped talking and I sighed, starting to pat her back again.

Jayden tapped my shoulder and motioned for me to give him Jessie. He held her up at his eye level and sleepily glared at her. Noticing it now, Talia did the same thing when Jessica would start fussing for attention and our baby girl learned to pipe up when Mom gave her that look. There was obviously something wrong tonight because she was crying again and Jayden sighed before cradling her in the crook of his arm. He started singing _I Swear This Time I Mean It_ to his sister and sat in the rocking chair to sway with her. He was halfway though the song when he glanced down at her.

Jessica's hand was on the side of her face, but I could see that her eyes were shut and I sighed in relief. Carefully, Jayden gently set her in her crib. He watched her for a second and she stirred a little, didn't wake up.I thanked him for getting his sister settled down and shuffled off into his room. I went into my bedroom and plopped into the mattress without taking my clothes off, quickly falling asleep.

...

I felt something wet on my ear and it woke me up, but I didn't open my eyes. I could see the sun through my eyelids and now that I thought about it, I related the feeling to someone nibbling on my ear. I smiled a bit. Talia must've come home early. When I felt the too hard tugging of my hair, I opened my eyes and Jessica giggled. She was on the side of my face and she started her better babbling when she noticed my eyes were open.

 **"How did you get out of your crib?"** I asked and grabbed her, holding her up above me. She was laughing and those 2 little bottom teeth were making me smile.

I got up from bed and yawned, munching on Jessie's little hand when she tried to stick it in my mouth. She's never had a problem grabbing for things. I noticed she was wearing a denim jumper and pink shirt, so her brothers were up. They probably sicked her on me this morning.

With Jessie on my arm and me responding to the conversation she was having with me, I carried her downstairs and found one of my shirtless sons in the kitchen. Austin looked like he was making something on the stove and he left it to stick his head in the fridge. Jayden crept from the other side of the icebox and to the stove, taking the pan. He put salt, pepper and ketchup in it, so I think he just stole his brother's eggs. He got a fork and started tiptoeing out, only stopping to kiss his little sister on the nose.

I set Jessie in her highchair and Austin finally got out of the fridge with some bacon and cheese in his hand. He shot me a nod and I pat him on the back when he passed, looking in the fridge for a bottle of pumped milk.

 **"Jayden, you little theif!"** Austin yelled and I heard a plate and silverware clatter on the counter before he stormed into the living room. I heard them start to bicker and the pan that Jayden took clanged on the ground.

I found one of the pre-made bottles and stuck it in the microwave for a few seconds. I pulled out an applesauce container and ripped the wrapping off, sticking Jessie's tiny pink spoon in it. When I set it on her table, she was trying to see what the hell her brothers were doing, but turned to me.

 **"Da-Da."**

 **"Yes, princess?"**

 **"Ja-ya..."** She grunted and pointed over her chair, probably trying to inform me that her brothers were trying to kill each other. She couldn't say Austin at all, so she usually grunted when she was talking to or about him.

I put the plastic spoon in her hand and she started eating, still interested in the commotion coming from the living room. The microwave dinged and I took the bottle out, pouring the almost lukewarm milk into a sippy cup. I was already on to making french toast sticks for us when I heard a very loud thump and what sounded like the sofa scraping against the floor. I would've let it pass because the boys get into minor scraps every other day, but I kept hearing that damn pan and it sounded like they were throwing it at each other.

I glanced over my shoulder at Jessie and she had most of her mouth coated with applesauce now, but she was pouting and looked a little nervous, cringing with a hard blink when she heard another loud noise from her brothers. That was the I'm-about-to-start-crying-for-20-minutes-and-be-in-a-super-shitty-mood look. Mindful that Talia would emasculate me if Jessie's first word was a curse, I covered my daughter's ears.

 **"Austin, Jayden, stifle yourselves. Stop making so much goddamn noise!"** I warmed and took my hands off Jessie's ears.

The noise stopped, but I could hear the boys grumbling at each other. Looking at Jessie, she had a few stray tears on her chubby cheeks, but she didn't look like she was going to pitch a fit and I plated her smaller french toast sticks. I gave her a little syrup and sat next to her to eat, smiling when I saw that she was getting the hang of holding things better.

Jessie suddenly screamed, but it turned into a laugh and I looked under her highchair. Kip was licking her bare feet and I saw applesauce on them. How the hell the kid managed to get her food on her feet was a mystery to me. Kip was our 2 year old Husky x Rottweiler mutt from Rouge's litter and he was ash grey and black with her mismatched eyes. Rouge didn't have a big litter and she passed a few months after. We kept Kip and gave his 3 siblings to the Husky's owner.

Jessie was talking to me again, but I heard that scraping noise and I was about to make her an only child. Her brothers came in here and Austin looked like he was about to make a bowl of cereal while Jayden washed out the pan.

 **"Ja-ya!"** Jessie chirped and Jayden turned around, smiling when he came to her side.

 **"Hello, my little lovebug."** He kissed her cheek and made her giggle. She pat her little table, pointed to me and Jayden looked like he could understand everything she was saying in her baby language because he was nodding. **"We both had pretty nice breakfasts, huh? I had a delicious pan of eggs and you had boob milk. You got the good stuff too. You know, when I was your age, I drank from that same boob and Austin did too. We're boob bros."**

 **"Stop talking about my Mother's breasts to my sister."** Austin said from next to me, eating a bowl of Lucky Charms.

 **"Next to Dad, I'm pretty sure Jessie's _well_ acquainted with them. She could probably spot those things a mile away. And what do you mean _your_ Mother and sister? She's _my_ Mom and sister too."**

 **"I came out first, so they're my Mom and sister before yours. I still think you were switched at birth and my real brother is being raised by another family or that you were abducted by aliens and they picked your brain, turning you into the drooling monkey your are."**

 **"Excuse you, but this evolved fetus knows who's umbilical cord it was attached to and you should too because I tried to strangle you with it a couple times. When I saw that _bright_ light, I kicked your ass out and enjoyed all the free space." **Austin scoffed, but he laughed when I smacked his brother on the back of the head.

 **"Stop cursing in front of her."**

 **"Mom said if it's in the Bible, it's not a curse word and it's in there."**

 **"Have you ever read the Bible?"**

 **"I've...skimmed through it."**

 **"Lair."** Austin butted in.

 **"Bite me."** Jayden said in a sing-song voice, glancing at me to see if he was going to get scolded again. Austin downed the milk in his bowl and went to the sink, taking mine and Jessie's plates too. I got her un-sticky and took her into the living room, seeing everything still in one piece.

I propped a few pillows from the couch behind Jessie and spread out her colorful blanket, getting some toys from her playpen. We played with her blocks first and she was getting better at stacking them on top of each other. When she noticed her rattle ball, she crawled over to it and laughed when she grabbed it. Austin and Jayden came out of the kitchen and they looked like they were going upstairs, but Jessie called Jayden and threw her ball, making his go chase it.

Jayden sat down to play with his sister, so I took the time to relax on the couch and watch TV. I was thankful it was my day off because I didn't want to leave this couch. The boys had soccer practice from 12 to 3 and it was one of their friends' Mom turn to carpool. I wondered if I was going to have a house full of teenage boys later on and that would probably open the opportunity for a sleep over. Dear God, I did not want to go through that madness again.

When the boys were 10 or 11, I made the mistake of letting them have their friends over for the weekend and Talia took Jessie over to Gem's to let us have a Boys Only slumber party. I didn't think it'd be too hard or anything chaotic. Talia dropped the pack off, we ordered pizza, played videogames, watched movies and I let them eat all the junk they wanted. That's where I fucked up. From 9 o'clock Saturday night to 10am Sunday morning, I had to deal with barfing or shitting tweenagers and a house that smelled like roadkill.

I didn't realize I drifted off until one of the boys was shaking me awake. Jayden was standing over me in his soccer uniform and he had Jessica on his arm. He told me Scott's Mom was outside and kissed his sister goodbye. He grabbed his duffle bag from the floor and left. It was noon, so I figured I could take Jessie to see Gemma or to the clubhouse if the Sons were there. Gem said she was at TM with a few of the Sons and forbid me to even attempt to ride there with Jessie on my bike. I would've put her in her carrier, had her strapped to my chest and drove to the garage, but I guess that wasn't 'safe' enough.

I went up to Jessica's room and started packing her baby bag. When I came back downstairs to get some bottles, I heard Gemma honking outside and she came in. I barely got a peck on the cheek and she took Jessie away, going to get her carseat from Talia's car. I locked up the house and saw Gemma telling Kip that if he pissed in her car, she'd skin him alive. She let him get in the backseat and I put Jessie's bag in.

We made the short drive to TM and Gemma was cooing at Jessie as we went to the clubhouse. Kip ran past our legs and right to Kozik, jumping in his arms. I don't know why that dog likes him so much; Chibs, Opie and Juice were here too.

 **"Where's Clay?"** I asked Kozik as he sat down with Kip occupying his lap, scratching behind his ears.

 **"He and Jax are out doing something, making a deal I think. Bobby's been getting hassled by his ex-wife and he's trying to get that settled. Miles and Montez just went up to Cara Cara, so Quinn and Rat should be here soon."** **  
**

 **"When's Tal coming back?"** Juice asked from the pool table. **  
**

 **"If I'm lucky, today. She called last night and Jessie talked to her nonstop for a half-hour."**

 **"Aw, she misses her Ma."** Chibs chuckled and smiled when Gemma handed Jessie over to him, leaving. Jessie took a second to recognize his face and laughed when she did, giving him a hug. She called him 'Chee'. **"Boys gone to practice?"**

 **"Yeah, they'll be around by 1."**

To pass the time, I hung out with the guys and they were all gushing over Jessica like always. Based on what Kozik said, I had to guess Jax went with Clay to make sure we didn't have anything to worry about with LOAN. Things were calm now, but that could mean anything. Those supremacist could be laying low to plot what they were going to do next and we had to be prepared for it. The guys were telling me anything I might need to be updated on, which wasn't much, and Juice told me there was still no word on Happy.

Quinn put the word out to _all_ the Nomadic Sons and told them to keep an eye out for Happy and we got a call about a possible sighting maybe twice a month, but the locations were all over the map. Happy could suddenly go dormant and not come out of incognito mode until he was damn ready. Nobody was going to see him for sure, but I knew he was still out there and probably still working. He had to take care of his Mother and I thought about sending Rat or Miles down to Bakersfield to keep an eye out for our lost friend.

 **"Tig."** I heard Gemma call and I got up. I went outside and Gemma waved me over from the gate, leaning on it. She pointed down the block and I saw Jayden walking backwards to us with a brunette in front of him. He was playing that small instrument of his, but I've never heard that tune before. **"Your son's flirting again. Cute brunette, honey eyes, nice rack on her. The song's a new one, but I think it's working."**

Tempted to see my son in action, I put my arm around Gem's shoulder and watched. The brunette laughed and put her head down, so she was probably a little shy. Jayden bent down to look at her and that made her pick her head up.

 _ **"Cold sweat, goosebumps**_  
 _ **My insomnia, it just jumps**_  
 _ **My blood pressure rises a**_ _ **nd I can't feel my legs**_

 _ **My stroke could happen at any moment**_  
 _ **My heart beat flies through the room**_  
 _ **Flies through you**_

 _ **All the aches, they're pain in me**_  
 _ **And my panic is freaking out**_

 _ **I'm fiending for you, babe**_  
 _ **I can feel you in my veins  
**_  
 _ **Fiending for you, babe**_  
 _ **I can feel you in my veins  
**_  
 _ **Fiending for you, baby**_  
 _ **I can feel you in my veins"**_

We watched Jayden sing another verse and the girl laughed again, but he pushed his instrument on his back. The girl did something that we couldn't see and Gemma directed my attention to Austin and the rest of their friends. They were across the street, leaning on someone's car and watching. There was probably a bet going on. Jayden just got a hug from the girl and she walked off, only turning around to wave at him. The boys came from across the street and as a rowdy bunch, started hooting at Jayden.

When they got to us, Jayden and Austin's friends kindly greeted Gemma and I saw the number scribbled on Jayden's hand. Jay explained that their friends wouldn't be here long, but Scott's Mom was running late and asked if they could use the showers in the clubhouse. By the time they were all clean and Gemma made them lunch, Scott's Mom was waiting outside to pick them up.

 **"So Dad, when can I Prospect?"** Jayden asked. We were in my dorm and he was still trying his hair off. **"I know Nana really wants me and Tin-Tin to join the Club, but he said he doesn't want to."**

 **"Why not?"** He shrugged. **"Did you talk to your Mom about this?"**

 **"I don't think she'll let me. She probably wants me to go to college or join the army like Austin's planning to. I wanna stay in Charming and be part of the family business."**

 **"Austin wants to join the army?"**

 **"Dad, where have you been the past 2 years? Austin's _obsessed_ with getting into the military. He's been getting all kinds of pamphlets in the mail and going to get his tests. He's graduating a year before me and he's planning to go straight to war after our 18th birthday."**

 **"He never told me..."** I muttered to myself, thinking about how I could've possibly missed out on something so important. I didn't notice anything in the mail and I rarely went into Austin's room because I didn't want to invade his space. I've never even heard him talking about it at dinner or something. I looked up at Jayden and he just stuffed his towel back into his duffle bag. **"You can Prospect when you're 19. _Hopefully,_ you'll be out of high school and don't even think about dropping out because I'll ship you off if you do."**

Jayden let out a whoop and bolted from the armchair to come hug me. He's always been interested in the Club and once he was old enough to understand it, he wanted to be a member. Jayden was always a bit of an adrenaline addict and I could only guess he thought he'd be having the time of his life as a Son.

Someone knocked on my door and Rat opened it, telling me Clay was back. Jayden and I started heading out to meet him and he was parking his bike with Jax when we got outside. Before anyone could welcome them back, a honking car stopped Quinn from closing the gate. He went to the driver's side of the blue Chevy Impala and stuck his head in to see who it was. He let the car come in, so I could only guess Felix was coming to see if Talia was around, but his lowrider was red.

The passenger door opened and my wife poked her hear out, smiling at everyone. She got out and the first thing I saw were those mile long legs of hers. She was wearing denim jumper shorts, a black shirt with 'Nirvana' printed in bold yellow letters over top their signature smiley face and cowgirl boots. She grabbed a bag from inside the car and leaned inside it, probably talking to whomever the driver was. She pat the hood and the driver honked before leaving.

Jayden left me to go hug his mother and Austin joined him a second later, getting smothered in kisses. I was next and we were kissing up until the boys started complaining, then she found Jessica with Chibs. Jessie wouldn't stop smiling and Talia was steadily showering her daughter with love. The Sons got a one-armed hug from her and Juice offered to take her bag inside.

 **"Who was that?"** I asked when we stepped inside the clubhouse again. Talia sat down on one of the couches and set Jessie down on the floor where her blanket was down and her toys were out.

 **"Nero Padilla, my newest associate."**

 **"What is it with you and making friends with wetbacks?"** I teased and she smiled.

 **"Felix came to pick me up and he said he wanted me to meet someone I could do business with, a guy he used to run with when he was a** **Byz Lat. He invited Nero to the Den and we talked. He's got a cathouse of his own called Diosa. It's just as nice as the Den and we talked about making something together, _Diosas del Amor._ It's still just an idea, but I think we're gonna open a business together in a year or so."**

 **"Luann should be willing to trade some of her girls for yours, maybe the Saffron Sisters for your best Kittens."**

 **"Ebony and Ivory, those girls could get a man to prematurely cream himself with one look."**

For a minute, Talia and I talked about some potential business deals she could do with Luann. She was more welcoming to the idea now that Luann's Caruso problem was handled. Speaking of changes, I noticed that she hasn't stepped inside the ring since our boys got here and I asked her about it. She said she was in the process of cutting off all the dangerous things she used to do and her Bounty work was next. She said she had to do another job or 2 before she had enough cash saved up to put our boys though college and I thought that was a smart idea. When Talia was pregnant with Jessica, I got a little trust fund started for her and she'd be set for the future too.

 **"Austin wants to join the army?"** I asked. Talia was on the floor with Jessie now and she looked up at me. **  
**

 **"Yeah, wants to be a Navy SEAL. He's been going on about it nonstop. I thought you knew."**

 **"No...he didn't say anything about it."  
**

I rubbed the back of my neck and Talia called Jax. He came out from the dorms and took Jessie back to his room, already making her laugh as he walked down the hall. Talia came to me and I set her in my lap, nuzzling into her chest.

 **"Oh, Alex. I'm sorry. I thought he was going to you to get all that information."**

 **"Why would he? You're the one he loves. He hates me."**

 **"He doesn't hate you and he's never said anything like that."**

 **"He hasn't called me 'Dad' since he was a kid and he barely says 2 words to me now. He tells you _everything._ He told you when he started dating Aria, when he got his driver's license. The kid told you the day smoked his first cigarette, Tal. He was gonna get enlisted in the army and I wouldn't have known until it was time to send him away. I have to hear about all the things he's doing from you or his brother because he doesn't want me in his life. I don't know what I did wrong. I love him. I've been trying, Tal. I really have. I've tried to get close to him and he just keeps me out."**

 **"Have you asked him why?"**

 **"No. Have you asked him why he doesn't want to Prospect?"**

 **"Said he doesn't wanna join, simple as that. Jayden wants to. Maybe that's why Austin pushes you away."**

 **"What, Jayden?"**

 **"Maybe he feels like you favor his brother over him. You gotta _talk_ to him, Alex. Don't wait for him to come to you because he won't."**

I took Talia's words in, but what she wanted me to do was easier said than done because I highly doubted Austin would be willing to have a conversation with me.

I couldn't pinpoint when he started distancing himself from me, but I've really started to notice it when he was a teenager. I thought it was just a phase or something to do with hormones, but it wasn't. I've been doing a pretty good job being present in the boys' lives though. I never missed a birthday, I'd dress up with them on Halloween, they were drowning in presents on Christmas and we've had little family trips to theme parks or the aquarium, wherever the boys wanted to go. Talia warned me not to, but I did miss a few visits and Jayden would forgive me as soon as he saw me again, but I don't think Austin ever did...

I tried not to show favoritism with my sons either. I loved both of them and treated them the same, but Jayden always wanted to be around me more than his brother. He was more like me and Austin was more like his Mother. He could talk to her about any and everything without being nervous or afraid that she'd be upset with him. He's never done anything too bad though. He got busted with his brother for having fake IDs and trying to get into a concert's after party, but that wasn't anything too bad.

I didn't want to stall having some time to talk to my oldest son and figured I'd attempt it tomorrow. Right now, I wanted to spend some time with my wife and show her how much I missed her being gone for those few days. In a swift motion, I was up and had Talia over my shoulder.

 **"Tig!"** She laughed and I started walking down the hall to the dorms. **"What are you doing?"**

 **"I'm gonna be doing you a few minutes."** I promised with a pat on her ass and that got another laugh.

I went into VP's room first and he was sleeping. Jessica was sitting on his chest and looked like she was trying to unfasten the sheath to his knife or pull his belt buckle off. This is exactly why Jax isn't allowed to be alone with her. I picked Jessie up and had her sitting on the palm of my hand. She was laughing at her Mother and from being up so high. I found Opie and asked him to watch my little princess, then asked him to keep the boys from coming home for a hour or so.

 **"If you guys have another baby, I get to pick the name."**

 ** _"Babies._ " **I corrected and Ope raised an eyebrow. **"I'm aiming for triplets this time, brother."  
**

 **"What the hell do look like, a breeding horse?"** Talia protested, but I was already out the door and going to my bike.

The ride home was accompanied with Talia's temptations. She'd rubs her hands over my chest and make her way down to the crotch of my jeans to give it a provoking squeeze. It was bad enough I was already aroused by the rumbling from the engine and feeling her chest pressed to my back. Tempted enough, I got us home in 15 minutes and almost broke the goddamn door down. Talia and I didn't make it to our bedroom, but that was fine because the sofa, the floor, the wall, the kitchen counters and table we're good enough for us. Modesty was the most foreign thing to us sometimes.

That hour turned into a few and after a round or 2 in the hallway, we finally made it to our bedroom. We were on the floor with the blanket wrapped around us, but still in our room. This is how it usually was when Talia's Bounty trips were longer than 3 days and I loved it.

 _ **I'm the son of rage and love**_  
 _ **The Jesus of Suburbia**_  
 _ **The bible of none of the above**_  
 _ **On a steady diet of**_  
 _ **Soda Pop and Ritalin**_

 _ **No one ever died for my**_  
 _ **Sins in hell**_  
 _ **As far as I can tell**_  
 _ **At least the ones that I got away with**_

The upbeat song was muffled through our door, but we could feel the vibrations from the drums and guitar.

 **"Your children are home."** Talia mumbled with a smile.

She gave me a kiss and we started getting dress. Looking at the time, it was going on 8pm and I was a little surprised that I managed to go _that_ long with her. Then again, she was one hell of a woman and she would always be the most attractive being I've ever seen. Once presentable, we went downstairs and found our sons playing on the game system we had down here. Jayden had the guitar-controller and Austin was behind the drum-controller. I didn't understand these goddamn things, but the boys and Talia could play it for hours. I saw Opie come out of the kitchen and Jessica was drinking out of her sippy cup. Talia thanked him for dropping our sons off and went to start on dinner while I took Jessie. The boys asked Oto join in on their game and I watched as the giant managed to slide the toy guitar over his shoulders. He had to get a few pointers from Jayden, but he got the hang of it and he really got into it when they started playing Mötley Crüe. Jessie was clapping along and trying her best to sing, which was horribly cute.

Talia called us for dinner and after smacking our hands away for not washing them first, she let us sit down. She made cheese burgers and fries for us while Jessie got tiny meatballs with her fries. Throughout dinner, the boys were telling us about today's practice and Opie took a plate of leftovers home. The routine fight for the bathroom started and Jayden managed to get in first for once while I was getting Jessica cleaned in our bathroom. She could stay in here for hours just playing with the bubbles.

After she was cleaned and dressed, Talia got her down in a few minutes. The silence of our house was always strange to me because I was used to the boys playfully yelling at each other as they played a game or hearing their friends or Jessica's babbles. It always took a second for me to get used to the peacefulness. I appreciated the silence and with Talia next to me, sleep came easy.

...

I shot up and had the gun I always keep under my pillow clutched in my hand, aimed at the door. It wasn't until I saw the low glint of silver in the moonlight that I realized Talia was up too. My arm was around her and she had her gun out too. We heard something fiercely pounding downstairs and Kip started barking. I got out of bed and headed downstairs while Talia went into Austin's room. It was pitch black in the living room, but I knew my way around the house and I went to the door. I felt Kip at my right leg and I could hear him huskily sniffing at the crack of the door. The thumping started again and I yanked the door open, gun aimed on the person on my doorstep.

 **"Where's Talia?"**

 **"Felix?"** I squinted in the darkness and turned on the porch light. Felix was there and he looked like he just crawled out of some rubble because there were streaks of black grime scatted on his tanned skin. He looked frantic, but scared and that was new.

 **"Where is Talia?"** He asked in a more forceful tone and I felt a hand on my back. Turning, I saw Talia there and her eyebrows furrowed at her Spanish companion. **_"Lo siento mucho. No sé lo que pasó. Matias llamó y dijo que algo estaba mal en el burdel._** ** _Llegué allí y que era un puto desastre-"_**

 **"Felix, _English."_**

 **"...you gotta come to the Den, both of you."** The quiver in his voice threw me off and he took a step back, mumbling in his native tongue as he ran his hands over his face.

Talia was wearing one of my shirts and shorts while I was just in my boxers, so I went to get some jeans and my cut. I went into my sons' rooms and they weren't in there, so I went into Jessie's room and they were in their sleeping bags on the floor. I saw Austin's air rifle propped against the window and knew they'd be fine because he was a damn good shot. When I came back downstairs, Talia was already in Felix's lowrider and we pulled off together.

One by one, I noticed the Sons joined us and the bad feeling I was getting never left. I didn't know why the hell we'd need to come to Talia's cathouse because the Devils could hold the fort down without us and Clay didn't want us to push them out. Her brothel wasn't under our protection or on our turf, so why the hell were we involved?

The sirens and flashing lights stopped my thought process and the Den was in our sights. Well, what was left of it. The firemen were still dousing the burnt foundation and there were squad cars or ambulances all over the place. Talia got out of Felix's car and slowly walked towards the ruins. I spotted David and he sent us a particularly ugly glance before following after her. There was something about that pig that made my skin crawl and I loathed when he was around her, so I managed to get to her before he did. The look I gave him was a warning to back off and I'd knock his ass out if he pushed it, to hell with his badge.

I saw a few of the Devils on the back of one ambulance and they all looked like they had some minor nicks. Felix went over to them while Talia sadly stared at the destruction. The Devils came over to her and Felix had something in his hands now. It was black and it almost looked like a shirt. He held it out to Talia, but she didn't even turn his way. He turned to me and I took it in my hands, immediately recognizing the feeling of leather.

I turned around and looked at the Sons. I was sure everyone was here, but I did a head count just in case.. Clay, Jax, Bobby, Chibs, Juice, Opie, Miles, Rat, Quinn, Montez and...Kozik wasn't present. I didn't want to believe that he wasn't here. I just saw him a few hours ago and he was holding my daughter, smiling at her and making her laugh.

I dug in the pockets of the cut and my fingers closed around something rectangular, made of paper. I pulled it out and held it up to my eyes. Even in the darkness, I could see what the picture was and I remembered it so well because I was the one that took it.

Kozik was sitting in a chair, holding a newborn Austin and Jayden in either of his arms.


	26. Chapter 26

It's been a week since I found out the Den was burned down. I was still so shocked that it was gone, that the only thing I had closest to a legit way of making money was just **gone.** I really thought I could have that place for a long time, but The Kitten's Den was a memory now. Marco and David were fine, thankfully. Felix told me 5 of his guys got burned and 3 of my Kittens got a little bruised too. I went to visit all of them at St. Thomas and my girls were fine. They got minor scraps and cuts or sprained something, but they'd be fine. The Devils were a tough bunch, but Felix didn't let me see them. He said they got some serious burns, but they'd live. That just made me feel horrible.

I really started hurting when I heard that Kozik was in there and I didn't know how things would be without him. The guy replaced Jax as my favorite blonde and I loved him so much.

Like we said we would, he's been with me when I went to do my Bounty work around California and he even came on a road trip to Salt Lake City with me. When I get long-distance clients, the pay is doubled and I happily got piss faced drunk with Kozik. What we did those few nights before coming home would make all _The Hangover_ movies look like child's play. We hung out a lot too and Juice even told me he was getting a little jealous from how much time I was spending with Kozik. I thought that was cute, but we started including him on our fun and games.

Tig was taking the loss pretty hard too. When I came back home, I could feel the tension between those 2 and Tig was so stubborn that he wouldn't drop whatever they were angry at each other about. He never told me what it was that made him resent Kozik, but he said it had to do with love and that's when I went to the other man. I was dying to know if they both fell in love with the same woman and I wanted to hear all the kinky stories about them _sharing_ her, but I was way off. Kozik told me about Missy, the most beautiful German Shepard that ever lived, and how attached Tig was to her. I knew my husband was a dog lover and he was very attached to Rouge, even cried a little when she died.

Tig and Kozik were roommates long before I came into the Club and since Kozik was still a member of the mother charter, he and Tig did almost everything club related together. They were the best of friends and they decided to get a dog. They found Missy in a box in front of a pet store and she was the last one.

They had to go on a run and they kept Missy in the large basement of their house with _buckets_ of food and water because Tig said kennels were horrible places for dogs. She could run around, play with her toys and be comfortable. Since Kozik was the last to leave the house, he was responsible for making sure the doors were locked and they were off. When they came back, Missy was digging up the front lawn, but she heard their motorcycles and ran down the street to greet her owners. A pickup truck came down the road and Missy got run-over right in front of them, really tore Tig up. Since that day, he blamed her death on Kozik because he should've made sure the doors were locked. Kozik left for the Tacoma charter to ease his guilt and let Tig simmer down.

When Kozik came back, it took some time, but they got closer and that brotherly bond was revived. I was happy to see it too. I think Kozik was the only one of the guys that could really understand Tig on another level. They were both Marines and for a long time, all they knew was death. They both had little to no family that they barely saw, but had a bigger one within SAMCRO. They were so much alike and Kozik brought out another side of Tig that I didn't know was there. He made him kinder, made him think about the things he was going to do before acting. I'm sure he knew about that dark side of my husband because he probably has one of his own, but he found a way to quiet those demons and I would always love him for that, for seeing something good in Tig.

Austin and Jayden were sad to hear that one of their Uncles passed, but they've been getting better as the days go by and I was happy to see them recovering so well. Kozik was close to my boys. Whenever they were around the clubhouse or if he came over, they'd teach him what they learned at practice and play for _hours._ My sons always looked so happy to be running around with their Uncle and as much as I tried to push it out of my mind, I would always wonder if Happy would do the same thing, if he'd tried to get so close to them.

Happy still hasn't shown his face around the clubhouse, but I know he heard of went to Kozik's death and went to his grave. He said dead people were easier to talk to than the living and I understood that. When we first came back to Charming, he'd sit and talk with my Mom for hours and he'd get that same connection I did.

I was taking the blame for Kozik's death too. The Sons kept telling me otherwise and Tig blamed himself for some reason, but I felt responsible. Kozik was at _my_ brothel to see one of _my_ girls and that made him _my_ responsibility. I was going to find out who did this and I'd burn them alive for what they did to the Den, for hurting the Devils, scaring my girls and for killing my brother.

* * *

Felix gave me some time to calm down that happened and he said he'd be coming over my house to talk today. The boys were still in school and Jessie was down for her nap when he knocked. Tig was home too. He's refused to leave me by myself because he thought someone would try to kidnap me or something. I didn't know how having he and Felix in the same room again would play out, but I really wasn't in the mood to hear them argue.

I let Felix in and he looked like he was doing much better than he did that night. He gave me a little smile too, so I knew things were looking up. I led Felix into the kitchen and he asked for a cup of orange juice. I made a pot of coffee this morning and had a mug of that. I heard Tig come downstairs and when he came into the kitchen, I gave him a warning glare. I sat down and he leaned on the counter, arms crossed.

 **"How are your guys?"**

 _ **"E** **l problema de inicio."**_ Felix chuckled and I smiled. **"** **Trust me, they're just fine. Some of them are sharing rooms and they're giving the nurses a good time.** **I'd give them a few days to another week and they'll be back in action. Your girls okay?"**

 **"Yeah. They're a little shaken up, but they're fine. They miss you guys."** Felix nodded to himself, smiling. After a heartbeat of silence, the seriousness sunk in and I knew it was time to get down to business. **"Were there any new faces coming around the Den? Any guys that looked suspicious?"**

 **"We got a few newbies, but they seemed harmless. They-"**

 ** _"Seemed_ harmless? Are you fucking kidding me?"** Tig butted-in and I sighed in annoyance. **"Isn't it your job to keep all the sketchy looking guys far away from the Den and it's girls?"**

 **"What the fuck do you think we were doing?"** Felix spat back and I saw how his muscles flexed, but Tig got closer. He put his ringed hand on the table and leaned into the man's space. I briefly thought about stabbing him with the goddamn spoon, but I settled for taking a swig of my coffee instead.

 ** _"Obviously,_ you weren't doing what you were there for!"**

 **"I was _in_ there!" ** Felix slammed his fist down on the table and the force even shook me a bit. **"I ran into a _burning building_ and almost _died_ from breathing in all that fucking smoke, but I got 4 of those girls out before I almost suffocated!"  
**

 **"And while you were busy being the Burrito Boy-wonder, Kozik was burning to death!"** Of course, _that's_ where his temper was coming from. I decided to let Tig vent for a second to blow off some steam and Felix needed to let some out too.

While the men were arguing, I just went to my quiet Happy Place. As a mother, a place in your mind forms and you go there when you're about to strangle your kids for screaming their heads off. I was there now, enjoying the peaceful obscurity. That's all I've wanted all day. Jessica didn't get too much sleep yesterday because she kept calling me every 20 minutes. She didn't want Austin and she even turned down her beloved Jayden. Nope, our tiny Queen demanded _Ma-Ma_ 's attention and I had to give it to her or she wouldn't stop. We ended up sleeping on the couch and she finally went to bed at 4:30, when Tig decided to come home, but I had to get up at 7 to make sure the boys were ready for school because _Daddy Dearest_ was out cold.

Tig's gotten our sons ready for school a few times when they were kids, but only once or twice when they were teenagers and it's a little easier. It's still a chore though. Jayden literally has to be pulled out of bed or he won't get up and he'll be late for school; the kid's got more than enough detentions. Austin gets up after the 2nd try, but he'll fall asleep standing up in the bathroom, so I have to constantly make sure they're awake and moving. My mornings were always hectic. Getting 2 boys ready, making them breakfast and having Jessica on my hip was a crazy act to balance, but I always did. Tig was _never_ up in the morning.

I could almost always rely on him to take over with Jessica at night or whenever I needed to drop the boys off at the clubhouse, but not 24/7 like I _needed_ to. I was the head hen making sure her chicks were prepared for the day every morning and getting them to or from practice. Oh, don't even get me started on when I'm Mom to _6 boys_. Tig's never been _Soccer Dad_ for a day, but I'd _love_ to see how he handles that madness. I have to pick up 6 boys that smell like a sumo wrestler's mawashi and they're always _starving,_ so we go out for pizza. We go to Papa Louie's and they order 2 extra large meat-lover's pizzas that they devour in 20 minutes. Then, we drive to the truck stop 20 minutes away and they all get cleaned before we come home. They do their homework first, then they're free to do whatever they want and I can rest for a minute.

I loved my sons and I was happy they found a hobby that they enjoy. I treated their friends like my own, but taking care of a pack of kids is tiring. Add the toll of the Den being gone along with Kozik and I was _exhausted._ I didn't know if it was a mental, emotional or physical fatigue, but I just wanted a bubble bath and a long catnap. Apparently, that was too much to ask for because _my children's father_ was always off playing outlaw biker and he could barely stay with his family for an entire day.

 **"H** **ow am I supposed to know when someone's planning on committing arson when they walk into a fucking, brothel?!"** I heard Felix aggressively bark and came out of my Happy Place. I figured it was time to settle them down before a fight broke out because I cleaned my kitchen this morning and I expected it to stay that way until my sons came home. **"** **Nobody seemed like they'd start any trouble! Everyone seemed harmless!"**

 **"A rapist _seems_ harmless until he's-"**

 **"Enough, Tig."** I scolded and he took his hand off the table, but was still glaring at Felix. I never got sensitive when that 'R' word was thrown around, but it felt personal this time and I was not going to let that slide. I couldn't understand how he could be so rude at a time like this. I knew how tight the Devils were. Just like the Sons, they were a family, brothers, and some of them got hurt. I knew Felix had to be going though the same shock and pain I was, but his cut deeper. I was trying to figure out why and Tig wants to act like the jackass he is, hurting the situation more than helping it. **"This has nothing to do with you, just go and let me handle it."**

 **"This has nothing- your business was burned to the ground a week ago, Talia. You could've been in there, you could've _died_ with Kozik. Why the hell _wouldn't_ I be involved with this?!"**

 **"Because it was _my_ business, Alex!"** I snapped and stood. ** _"I_ have to worry about 5 men with 1st and 2nd degree burns! 3 of _my girls_ got hurt in that goddamn fire and that's _my_ burden to carry! _I_ am responsible for getting all those girls jobs, so they can take care of their families and _I_ have to explain to them why they were almost killed after I promised them they'd be safe! Kozik's death is on _my_ hands, _not yours!_ This has _absolutely nothing_ to do with you, so stay out of it and keep your goddamn Club out of it too!"**

 **"I'm trying to help you, Talia!"**

 **"You wanna help so badly? Then do me a favor and _leave!"_**

 **"Tal-"**

 **"Just _go!_ " **When my voice settled down, I heard Jessica crying upstairs. Great, her nap was disturbed and she was going to keep _one of us_ up all night if she didn't get put down again. **"You wanted something to do and there it is. Go take care of your daughter, give me a break from raising 3 of _your kids_ and go be a parent for _10 seconds_. _"_**

Tig stared at me then and I noticed the faint red on his face start to fade as he simmered down. He looked like he was about to say something, but he didn't and left, going upstairs. When he got to Jessie's room, she was crying for another few minutes, then she started to settle down and I sat down. Jesus Christ, I had a goddamn headache and _that man_ was making it worse.

 **"Felix, please."** I sighed.

 **"The new people we got didn't look shady."** He started, calm now. **"It was a couple Navy guys that came down from Stockton and the girls were all over them, but most of them didn't even go upstairs. They just wanted to talk and be near a woman. The ones that did get laid didn't scare any of the girls. No rough stuff, no weird shit."**

 **"What about our nighttime creeps, the guys who try to slip in when we're closing?"**

 **"That's the thing. We don't let any clients come in when we're closing up shop. After that creep tried to run off with Cleo, we stopped letting the clients in a half hour before we close for the night and the girls don't take any out-calls an hour before closing. It gives us time to check the rooms, make sure the girls are accounted for and get them home safely."** I nodded at Felix's information and I was glad he took that precaution after what almost happened with Cleo.

All the girls were assigned a Devil to check-in with and Cleo's was Rosario. He was one of those guy's that's been in lockup most of his life and that's the only thing he knew, so he sorta acted like he was still inside. Felix says he's been out almost 2 years, but he was in since he was 19. Rosario had some tattoos on his face and he was one of those guys that would make your cross the street to avoid close contact, but he was very quiet. He settles for nods or a grunt instead of actual words and the Devils started calling him Caveman. Cleo was out on a date with her guy and when his time was up, Rosario was waiting outside of the motel he took her to, but they didn't come out. He called her a few times before he went in and that crazy son of a bitch was trying to stuff an unconscious Cleo in a goddamn suitcase to do God knows what with her.

Felix and I talked for another half-four or so and neither of us could pinpoint who could've done this. I thought about the video cameras around the Den and wondered what could've happened with them. The cops. Shit. David hasn't come knocking on my door or pulled up next to my car, so I think he was giving me some space too. It was probably because of Tig. I saw the look he'd give the future Chief of Charming PD and that was the predator look I saw when some guy would be gawking at me in public. David seemed like he was a smart guy and I knew he'd be around soon enough. I'd probably take the first step and go see him. I know the Club was on a hiatus with Unser, but he could probably help.

Felix told me he was going to St. Thomas to check on his boys and I saw all the lowriders following after his red one when he pulled off. He was taking precautions too. The possibility of someone destroying the Den to hurt the Devils was something I didn't think about. Felix said they didn't have any serious problems after we got Brandon from those black guys and any trouble they did get stayed on the street. That was something Felix promised me wouldn't be a problem if his men protected my brothel. I wouldn't have to worry about their enemies hurting my business.

 **"Tal."** I came out of my trance and Felix's car was long gone. I turned around and Tig was holding Jessica's carseat with her pink baby bag on his other arm. Her bumblebee blanket was over it and Kip was sitting next to it with his nose close, so she was probably in there. **"Juice just called, Church in 10."**

 **"Go on then."**

 **"He wants you there too. It's about the Den. We might know who burned it down. Tara's at TM, said she'll watch Jessie.** **I talked to the boys. They'll come to the garage if we're still there, Quinn will make sure they get there safe.** **That okay?"**

 **"It's fine."** Tig looked to the ground and switched the weight from one foot to the other. His free hand went to his head and he rubbed the side of his finger against his eyebrow.

 **"...I'm sorry about...you know, with Felix."**

 **"Why can't you ever apologize to him? You argue or fight every time you're around each other. Why can't you just be civil?"**

 **"I just don't like him. I don't like how close he is to you, Tal. He's the leader of a street gang and he's around you a lot. Whatever heat the Devils have could blowback on you. I don't want you to get hurt because of him."**

 **"Clay's the President of a infamously dangerous motorcycle gang and I can't count how many people want to see his head on a stick, but you're perfectly fine with me being around him."** I waited for him to _try_ to argue against that fact and Tig looked like he was thinking of something that could discredit what I said, but I knew he wasn't going to find anything.

I was already dressed for the day and I took Jessica's carseat, heading out. I gently put her in the backseat and peeked inside. She was sleeping and had her green binky in. She always went to sleep when we took a car trip, so I knew she'd be snoozing for the ride. Tig didn't come out of the house and I figured he was putting Kip in the backyard. He came out and put Jessie's bag in my car before mounting his bike.

We drove to TM and business was open, but I knew none of the Sons were working if Clay called Church. I saw all their bikes lined up and I parked next to Tara's cutlass. I heard Jessie cooing in her carseat and I peeked at her again. I saw her beautiful blue eyes and she smiled when she saw my green ones. I ran my finger over her soft cheek and stuck my tongue out at her. She giggled and clapped. I knew Tig was behind me and he was probably watching her over my shoulder, but Jessie grabbed for him when she noticed he was there. Tig put his finger in her tiny hand and tapped her nose, making her laugh again.

Tig held the door open for us and the Sons were spread out around the bar. I saw Jax and Tara sitting on a sofa together, but she got up to come hug me. Tara and I have been getting along, much to Gemma's disliking. Gem was probably manning the office. Tara's babysat Jessie a few times and she loved my little girl, not that Jessica pitched a fussy fit all the time.

 **"She just finished her nap in the car, so you can give her a bottle when she spits out her binky."** I sat Jessica's carseat on the pool table with her bag and Tara was unbuckling her, smiling. **"There's some jarred food in there too. Make sure she gets some fruit. She loves pears. There should be some diced up in her bag. Tig packed it, so everything could be missing. Chuck usually brings in fresh fruit. Is he around?"**

 **"Yup, helping Gem manage the garage. I'll ask him if he went grocery shopping."**

 **"You sure you're okay with watching her? I don't wanna unload her on you or mess up your schedule."**

 **"I offered to babysit, Tal. We're gonna be just fine. Right Jessie?"** I looked at Tara and Jessie was interested in her necklace, but I knew she'd be fine with Tara. I gave my baby girl a kiss on the cheek and went into the Chapel, the Sons following after.

 **"You can take the seat next to Quinn if you want."** Jax said and squeezed my shoulder before going to his chair. Looking at the seat next to the former Nomad President, I realized it was Kozik's. I usually sat on the loveseat behind Juice, but I decided to sit with the guys. Quinn even pulled my chair out for me. He was a pretty quiet guy, but he was very kind and his smile was just as sweet.

 **"I'm gonna get right to it."** Clay said. **"Larory and the One-Niners burned down the Den. Juice managed to get into Charming PD's evidence room and he found some footage from your security cameras. They pulled up in a Rover, had ski masks on, saw them strapped with a couple MAC-10s. Juice ran the plates and he's jumping through a few hoops, but he'll track down the owner."**

 **"Why would they do that?"** I asked, confused.

 **"We think they're trying to start a war and we've been tipped off that they're working with LOAN. Alvarez heard about what happened and sent his consolation, but he told us that Ethan Zobelle-"**

 **"The Hitler of the 21st century."** Jax added on cue.

 **"Approached him with one hell of a proposal."** Clay continued. **"Zobelle was going to give him a couple crates of AKMs and Glocks in exchange for pumping Heroin into the local prisons. Alverez doesn't take handouts and felt insulted, told Zobelle to fuck off in a very nasty way. The Mayans are allies to SAMCRO, they got our back and we got theirs. But black is still lurking in the shadows and Zobelle's pasty white ass was like a goddamn beacon to the Niners. They took the bait and got turned into bitches."**

 **"But** **I don't have any problems with Larory or his guys. Actually, I offed a couple guys for him.** **The Den wasn't even associated with SAMCRO. You guys barely came to visit."**

 ** _"Some_ of us were _very frequent_ customers." ** Bobby said and all the older men looked down the table. I followed their gazes and saw Miles and Rat with their heads down, rubbing the back of their necks or scratching their heads.

 **"They couldn't have been there _that_ much." ** I tried and Bobby raised an eyebrow at me.

 **"You ever see how much pussy a guy can go through after he's been in lockup for 5 years?"**

 **"Yeah."**

 **"Double that and multiply it by the 2 dickheads that were constantly stuffing their dicks into your cats. They were probably where half your income was coming from. How they managed to get their hands on that kinda cash is still being questioned..."** Bobby glared down the table, making Miles and Rat sink down in their seats a bit. **"But it better have been legit and when I check the safe after this, I'd better not see a penny out of place."**

 **"'Cause when you catch a thief, you cut a finger off for everything they stole."** Tig drawled dangerously and the younger pair seemed to sit straighter at his cold voice. **"Once you run out of fingers, you go to the toes, then the ears, then the tongue, then the eyes."**

 **"Worst part is, you'll still be alive afterwards."** Jax added and took a drag from his cigarette, but he didn't look at Rat or Miles. **"You'll be blind, cripple, tasteless and won't be able to hold or grab anything again, but at least you'll have your life. That's the most important thing, right?"**

As if all their minds were connected, every Son glared down the table at the former Prospects and Miles looked like he was about to puke because he was so pale. Rat looked a little uneasy too, but he seemed more together than his friend.

 **"Miles,** **Rat, tell Mama T what you've done.** **"** Clay instructed and I looked at the youngest members. **  
**

 **"...I used to go see Callie a couple times every week..."** Miles mumbled, stealing a glance at me before averting his eyes. **"Even when we were up at Cara Cara...I'd go down there when we traded shifts. She sometimes spent the night at the Den and..she'd sneak me in..."**

 **"I'd go see Destiny almost everyday."** Rat spoke next in a firm tone and unlike Miles, he kept my eyes. **"She'd text me her schedule and I'd go see her when she was taking a break, take her to lunch. I'd drive her home most nights and she'd let me crash with her. I'm sorry about what happened, Talia. I didn't think anything like this would happen."**

 **"That's your goddamn problem."** Chibs barked and while he looked calm, his tone was harshly scolding. **"You 2 were too busy thinkin' with the head between your legs and not the one on your fuckin' shoulders. Both of ya' knew we were still wary about those creeps and we told ya' not to stay in one place 'cause they could be watchin'. Did either of you knuckleheads listen to us?"**

 **"No, sir."** Rat and Miles said.

 **"Ya' disobeyed an order from your superiors then?"**

 **"Yes, sir."**

 **"And look what's happened because of it. Ya' let those patches get to your heads. I thought ya'd be mature enough to handle the Reaper, but you're not and I oughta' slice 'em off your sorry backsides right now."** With that, Tig took his knife out and staked it into the table, his Ka-Bar Big Brother. Miles and Rat looked at the black blade and Miles looked pretty nervous, but Rat seemed to be prepared for the punishment he could possibly receive. **"A Son is dead 'cause you 2 wanted to get your dicks wet, 'cause ya' wanted ta' act like ignorant kids! This life has no room for childish shit like that! When we tell ya' to do something', you do it! You don't find any shortcuts around it! There's people hurtin' in the hospital 'cause of you idiots!** **The both of ya' practically killed Kozik yourselves, struck the match that sent the whole place up in flames! That man's done right by this Club since before you were even seeds swimmin' in your Da's sacks!** **So tell us, lads, what do ya' think the best punishment is for what you've done? Take a second to beg Christ for mercy before ya' answer."**

Christ Almighty, I've never heard Chibs yell like that before and he was turning red. His brogue was as thick as ever. Of all the stupid things Juice and I have done, he's never raised his voice like how he was to Miles and Rat. Then again, Juice and I have never done anything like this. It wasn't their faults though. They knew there was a place where they could have gorgeous women and they did what any man would do. They went and had a damn good time with my Kittens. It sounded like Rat and Destiny were on the verge of starting a relationship though. I could tell that Miles wasn't looking for a girlfriend because he was still goo-goo eyes for all the used Crow Eaters prancing around the clubhouse every night.

I heard someone's chair scrape against the floor and looked up to see Rat standing. He gently took off his cut and set it on the table. Miles got up and did the same thing, but I could tell he was more nervous. He seemed to be following Rat's lead too. Tig yanked his knife from the redwood table and slid it down. Rat stopped it with his hand on the grip and grabbed it. He stared at the Reaper on the back of his leather for a moment and looked up at all the Sons who were silently watching. Rat nicked the tip of the knife under the scroll with SAMCRO on it and I heard him take a breath as is he were preparing himself to do something unthinkable.

 **"Get out."** Clay ordered with a sneer and the younger men looked at him, confused. Rat put the knife down and grabbed his cut, but Clay tutted. **"Leave them here."**

Without another word, the pair quickly and quietly left. Opie slid Tig's knife back down the table and he sheathed it.

 **"We think LOAN wants the Niners to start a black vs. white war."** Jax explained and after looking at his fellow members, he turned to me. **"They saw us posted at Cara Cara, then saw Rat and Miles at the Den, figured we were starting to pump pussy. They watched us for a few days, maybe a week, to figure out the schedules and they picked your place because it was an easier target."**

 **"What happens now?"** I asked. **"Are you guys just gonna gear up, head over to Oakland and kill every black guy wearing purple?"  
**

 **"We're gonna end this war before it stars."** Clay said and I almost scoffed at him. **"We're gonna find Larory and ask him why the fuck he thought it was okay to sellout to LOAN. That's getting squashed next. We're gonna find the Niners that lit up your place and do the same to them."**

 **"Because that's gonna solve everything."** I shook my head, looking at the President. **"You find Larory, beat the shit out of him, get your answers and kill him. You go after LOAN and let's say you end that too. What's gonna happen? That war you were talking about gets kickstarted 'cause one of Larory's boys is gonna replace him and they're gonna want blood."**

 **"What do you want us to do, Tal?"** Juice asked. **"We can't just let this slide. We gotta send a message and that's do not fuck with the Sons of Anarchy."**

 **"My girls are hurt, the Devils are seared, Kozik is already dead and more Sons are gonna die if this _'solution'_ of yours plays out. T** **hat is _not_ what I want.** **"** I stood up and left the room, sighing when I was out of the Chapel doors. Nobody came after me, so they were probably in there planning how they were going to 'teach' the One-Niners a lesson.

I didn't see Tara in here and I poked my head in the kitchen, but she wasn't in there either. I figured she'd be outside and I was headed for the office. I found Chuck at the desk and he looked up from the service form he was filling out to smile at me. He always got so happy when I'd come around and it was a nice feeling.

 **"That's a good girl. Eat up all of Nana's yummy meatloaf. I made a whole bunch for your Daddy."** I heard Gemma giggle and looked to the couch. She had her legs spread out on it and Jessica was between them, eating something from a plastic container with a bib around her neck. **"Tal doesn't feed this kid enough. The poor thing's practically starving."**

 **"Gem."** Chuck said, smiling.

 **"All she had in her bag was milk, fruit and some jar crap. Fruit makes you _loose_ weight, kid needs something to stick to her bones. When I was Jessica's age, I was tearing the meat off drumsticks the size of cow legs with my 2 teeth. Austin and Jayden probably eat all the food in the house. Oh, you poor thing." **She took the bib and wiped Jessie's cheeks off. **"** **Don't worry, sweetie.** **Nana Gem's gonna get you nice and fat."  
**

 **"So you can stick her in your oven and eat her?"** Gemma turned around and innocently smiled at me. **"Where's Tara?"**

 **"She got a call from work and rushed over. Someone's kid must be sick or something. Are the Demons doing okay?"**

 **"Devils, Gem."** She rolled her eyes and I smiled. **"Felix says they're fine. Another week or so and they'll be out."**

 **"Someone's been calling for you. Um, Norman?"**

 **"Nero."** Chuck answered and he got up from the desk to rummage around in the filing cabinets. **"You were in Church with the guys when he called. I wrote his number down and he gave me another one to a place called Diosa."**

After getting a box down from a shelf, Chuck went back to the desk and gave me the paper he scribbled Nero's numbers down on. I called him and the first thing he did was ask me how I was doing. He knew about the fire and the few people that were in the hospital, probably due to Felix. I started talking about that partnership we were talking about and by the end of our conversation, we were dead set on making _Diosas del Amor_ a dream come true. Nero said he was already looking into some places we could by and he'd round up a few offers for us to look over.

Due to her full belly, Jessica was ready for another nap and Gem took her inside the clubhouse to let her sleep on Tig's bed. I don't think I had a room in the clubhouse anymore. After that madness with Jimmy, I cleaned all my stuff out and told Rat or Miles that they could have it if they got patched in. Juice said that even with their new members, nobody's claimed my room yet and I wondered if they thought I was coming back.

I told Tig that I was changing the way I live and it was for our family. I couldn't be that wild, crazy woman anymore because I had kids to look after and be a role model to. If Jayden were to see his Mother fighting, good Lord, he'd probably go out and start street fights and be sitting in a cell almost every night. Turning in my cut was a hard process, but I got it done and Clay said I could have it back whenever I wanted. The first few weeks without it were strange. That leather was like a second skin to me and I felt exposed to the world, but it started to ease away as I watched my sons grow. Now all I had to worry about was Jayden wanting to Prospect because I didn't know if I wanted him in the Club now. I always knew that SAMCRO could get into some dangerous situations, but I didn't want to lose one of my kids to this life.

Gemma said Rat was watching Jessica and that the Sons just wrapped up Church. I started seeing them change into their mechanic uniforms and go into the garage, so this was going to be a work day. Gem and I were a great team at managing the office. She even said she missed me being around and with the spare time on my hands, I'd be in here more often.

Juice poked his head in the office and Gemma just went out to lead a customer to their car.

 **"Tig just got back with Austin and Jayden. Chibs picked up a SUV on the tow-truck."**

I nodded and got up with the clipboard in my hands, ready to take down the report on the new car. Juice walked with me and I saw all 3 of my boys piling out of my car. Jayden had Tig's cut on and he just kept feeling it.

 **"You're creeping me out, Jayden."** Austin carped. **"You look like you're molesting yourself."**

 **"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like to feel me up instead? I know I was sexy before, but this makes me irresistible."** Jayden started making kissy-faces at his brother while seductively caressing himself and they playfully pushed each other a few times, laughing. They both came to give me hugs and Austin went inside to see if his sister was awake. **"Mom, can I work in the garage today? Dad said he'd teach me the basics, but I had to get the OK from the boss."**

 **"I'm the boss, huh?"**

 **"Yes, ma'am, you are."** I smiled at Jayden and looked behind him at Tig. I didn't expect him to go get the boys, but it was a nice gesture and I appreciated it. **"Yeah, you can work today. Don't come crying to me when you get scraped up on some gears."**

 **"Me, crying? Mother dearest, I am incapable of doing such a thing."**

 **"Which is exactly why my fearless son was bawling when he scraped his knee on his cleats."**

 **"I could've tore out my kneecap, Mom! That was a near-death experience and I'm traumatized!"**

 **"But you're still playing soccer."**

 **"The best way to** **concur** **your fears is to** **face** **them head on, no stalling."** Jayden said in a mock attempt at being serious. **"And we're _so_ gonna win the championship next month."**

 **"C'mon, Jay."** Tig chuckled and put his arm around his son. **"First thing we're gonna learn is how to unload a car from the tow-truck."**

Tig led Jayden away, but he glanced back at me and I smiled at him. He was trying. I wondered if he talked to Austin about that distance problem because it seemed like nothing changed, but I'd ask him about it later. Juice nudged me and poked me in the cheek, so I knew I had to be blushing. I punched him in the arm and he laughed before going to his station in the garage.

I heard the phone ringing in the office and stepped inside to answer it. Before I could say "Teller-Morrow Automotive", I heard an unbelievably loud noise and it shook the entire office. I had to brace myself on the desk, but the computer and phone fell off it. Did we just have a goddamn earthquake? I could hear everyone frantically asking questions and outside, but that high-pitched wine started blocking them out. I called for someone, anyone to tell me what the hell just happened, but my own voice was muffled in my ears.

On wobbly legs, I managed to get out of the office and the first thing I noticed was the smell in the air. Something was burning...

Chibs grabbed my arms and he was dirty now, but it wasn't oil or grease coating his cheek and work shirt. It looked like soot or something. He was talking to me, but I still couldn't hear him clearly. I saw the black smoke cloud puffing behind him and I looked over his shoulder.

The green SUV was the source of that burning musk and I could see the fire inside of it. The driver's door was open, but someone was in the seat. I saw the leather on his back and immediately thought it was Tig...but I saw a head of blonde hair...a pair of blue eyes

Jayden was in there. His bloody head was against the steering wheel and the red left a streak down the side of his face. His lightly tanned skin had dark patches of grime scattered all over as well as burnt skin. His unique blue eyes were fixed in an unblinking stare and there was blood leaking from his slack mouth.

Chibs was holding me back, but I tried with all my might to get away from him and to the car. We ended up falling to the ground, but I didn't care and I was still trying to get out of his hold. I still couldn't hear much of anything, but I knew I was screaming my goddamn lungs out.

The irony of my words hit me like a brick wall. I warned Clay that this violent road the Club was on would soon thake the life of another Son, but I wasn't expecting it to be _my_ son.


	27. Chapter 27

**_X~Talia~X_**

 ** _"Queen Mother, King Father, Prince Tin-Tin, I assume you are all wondering why I've summoned you in the room of living."_** _Jayden was talking like a snobby fat man and he had his sneakers on his hands,_ _pacing in front of the couch we were sitting on._

 _He told us that there was something unbelievably important we had to see and it was in the living room._ _I was in the middle of Austin and Tig. I was leaning on Tig and had my legs folded under me. Austin was on my other side and he had a book in his lap that he was reading._

 _We've been sitting here for a few minutes, waiting to see what was so important. Jayden's been doing this since he was a kid, gathering us for a show. He loved having an audience to perform for and when he was younger, he used to put on magic shows for his family. When I got him that guitar, he started playing for us and that's when we discovered that amazing voice of his. I didn't know what he wanted to show us today, but I had a feeling it was going to be funny because Jay was a clown.  
_

 _Jayden stopped pacing and pressed h_ _is shoe-covered hands together. When he saw that his brother wasn't paying attention, he clapped the shoes together and I don't know if Austin looked away from his book. His hair was covering his eyes and he didn't move his head. He marked his page and set his book on the end table, motioning for Jayden to continue._

 ** _"Do not fret. I shall enlighten you on today's entertainment."  
_**

 ** _"Why are you talking like King Arthur?"_** _Austin quipped and Jayden took one of his shoes off. A tube sock was in there and he chucked it at Austin._

 ** _"Silence, lowly peasant!"_**

 ** _"Dude, your feet are rank!"_** _Austin groaned and got anothe_ _r sock thrown at him that almost went in his mouth._ ** _"Jayden!"_**

 ** _"Silence thine noise hole or the putrid stench of my foot stank will penetrate thine nostrils and cause bile to churn in thine stomach. Another disturbance and thy will force my hand to release the hound that hail from the blazing inferno of Hell upon thee!"_**

 ** _"He's reading some of Shakespeare's books in his Literature class. He's really into it."_** _Tig whispered to me and I nodded. I started to think Jayden was going bonkers._

 _ **"The reason for this gathering is none other than to witness the lovely Princess Jessica charm us with her delightful wiles."** Jayden continued and Austin looked like he was about to say something, but Jayden had another sock ready to launch. I didn't know how many were in those sneakers, but it seemed like he was stocked. **"Kip, bring fourth the darling Princess!"  
**_

 _Kip was laying behind Jayden, but he picked his head up and wagged his tail when he heard his name. Jayden turned around and probably told Kip to go get Jessica in modern English because the mutt stretched before taking off. I could hear Jessica laughing and it was getting closer. Kip pushed Jessica in and she was in one of the wicker laundry baskets. She waved to all of us and Jayden took her out to set her on the carpeted floor. She was wearing her pink ballerina costume from Halloween and she had her birthday crown on._

 _Jayden bowed to her before he leaned on Austin to grab at something behind the sofa and was smashing his brother under his weight. I heard the unmistakable sound of a jack being plugged into an amplifier and Jayden flipped over the couch. Austin was laughing at him, but Jay told us not look look behind the couch because Tig and I were about to.  
_

 _Jayden started strumming his guitar and I noticed how Jessica perked up at the sounds as if she's heard it before. Jayden finally came back in front of us, but his back was to us and he scooted Jessie behind him with his foot. He was still strumming too. He usually asks me to give him some pointers when he's learning a new song, but I've never heard him play this one and it was lovely._

 _ **"Fall into your hands**_  
 _ **Fall into my voice**_  
 _ **Fall into your hands**_  
 _ **Fall into my voice  
**_  
 _ **Don't be scared**_  
 _ **I'll be there nowhere**_  
 _ **Don't be scared**_  
 _ **I'll be there**_  
 _ **It's writing on the fall"**_

 _Jayden started harmonizing and he turned to us, still shielding Jessica from our sights. With him facing us, I could see that he was playing a bigger guitar, the_ _Fiesta Red Mustang Bobby gave me._ _I didn't even know Jayden was practicing on it._ _I couldn't remember the last time I played that thing, but the fun memories of being in that little band with Dylan, Josh and Ethan started resurfacing._

 _ **"Stand**_  
 _ **Stand behind me if you care**_  
 _ **Stand behind me if you dare**_  
 _ **I lie to keep you there**_

 _ **Stand  
Stand behind me if you dare  
Stand behind me if you care  
I lie to keep you there"**_

 _Jayden slid to the left a bit and we got to see Jessica...standing on her own. She was up on her chubby legs and she looked very interested in what Jayden was singing because she was looking up at him as she attempted to copy his singing with her little coos or babbles. Jessica was still in her crawling stages and she always fell on her butt when Tig or I would try to coax her into walking. We figured she just needed some more time to work on her motor skills, but I guess we were wrong because our baby girl was doing it perfectly._

 _ **"**_ _ **Fall into your words  
I let them speak for us  
As long as you decide  
My voice is where you'll land  
**_  
 _ **And if you follow me this time  
I'll show you what I am  
If you follow me this time"**_

 _Jayden started to tiptoe away from Jessie, but made sure that she noticed he was moving away. She grabbed on to the low pocket of his cargo pants and sashayed along with him. She was laughing with each tiny step and she'd bounce every time her foot came down, so I think she was dancing. She was enjoying herself though._

 _For the rest of the song, they trotted in front of us and Jessica fell a few times, but Jayden always sang to her to stand up. She'd get up, hang on to him and try again too. She got better with every try and I was on the verge of tears. This was a beautiful moment. It got even better when Kip joined in and started walking on his hind legs next to Jayden. When the song was over, Jayden bowed and Jessica stared at him for a moment. She giggled and sat down. She laid face-down on the floor and covered her head with her arms. We clapped for the show and went to congratulate Jessica on taking her first batch of steps._

 ** _"That was amazing."_** _Austin smiled._ ** _"How'd you get her to start walking?"_**

 ** _"It was a freak accident."_** _Jayden said._ ** _"I was trying to teach Kip to walk on his hind legs and kept saying 'Stand' to get him up. Jessie would always be around watching us. She started pulling herself up on me or my bed or the bookshelf and I got this little act together."_**

 ** _"So basically, you trained our baby sister a new trick like she's a dog."_**

 ** _"She acts like a puppy anyway. Look at her."_** _Jayden pointed to Jessica and Kip was going into the kitchen, probably to get_ _a drink of water. Jessica bowed her head, put her hands down and had her butt in the air. She started following Kip and she did look like a little pup walking like that. She'd always try to eat the dog food from his bowl too..._

 _Jayden went behind the couch and rolled out the amplifier to my guitar and had the camcorder sitting on top of it, so he recorded that incredible moment. That was one thing Jayden could always do, bring his family together for a bonding experience.  
_

* * *

 **"...you would've loved him so much."** I sniffled and picked my head up from my knees to look at the headstone I was bawling in front of. There was a small picture of Mom over her name and I could feel her smiling. I just told her about that amazing day and a few more memories about her youngest grandson, but the thoughts were making me cry. **"He was... the light of our lives, Mom. He always had everyone smiling and he was so talented and creative. He loved Jessica to pieces. He almost treated her like she was his daughter. She knows he's gone too, knows that he's missing from her life. She calls him and when he doesn't answer, she'll start crying. She misses him and I can't do anything about it, Mom. I can't help her. And Austin, oh my poor boy. He's a mess without his little brother. Now that Jay's gone...I just can't. It's so damn hard to function. I see him everywhere, you know? Everything reminds me of him and I start crying when I think about him. It hurts so bad, Mom. I've never felt like this before, so...weak. I feel lost and I don't know what to do."**

I wiped at my eyes and got enough oxygen into my system before I passed out because I was taking little gasps of air when I cried. I wasn't sure how long I've been here, but I didn't really care because talking to my mother always made me feel better. It was a slow process, but I was getting the waterworks under control and I was connecting with Mom after all this time. I've never gone so long without coming to visit her and I was making up for it by spending these long hours with her. I told her about everything that's happened since I came back from Russia and we were on to Jayden now.

It's been a month and 4 days since my son's burial. A lot of kids from his school came to the service. It wasn't just Hayes, Raymond, Scott and Damien. It had to be at least _half_ of the entire high school students along with others Jayden knew from the neighborhood and the kids came to put flowers, teddy bears, candles or pictures on his grave. Jayden was a good, friendly kid. He had lots of people that liked him and he got along with just about anyone. He was far from shy and socializing was as important as eating. He loved having a diverse sea of people to be around and interact with, but I had no idea where he could've gotten that from. I kept to myself and Tig's version of being sociable was on a very intimate level that most of the Crow Eaters understand. Jayden got his father's charms though. There was a horde of heartbroken and weeping teenage girls at his funeral.

Austin was wrecked about his brother's passing. He locked himself in his room for a few days and he only came out because of the funeral. He tells me that he's hurting too and he's cried with me a few times. He missed his kid brother and he just wanted him back. He's gotten quieter, but he still plays soccer and before every game, his teams has moment of silence for Jayden. Austin was really determined to get enlisted in the military now, but I think his reason for wanting to go has changed. When he first came to me with the idea, he said he wanted to join because he wanted to do something that would make the world a better place. He wanted to help people in need and protect the things he loved. Now, I think he wanted to get drafted just to get away from home...and from Tig.

When the explosion happened, I was so focused on Jayden that I didn't notice Tig lying unconscious a few feet away from the car. Tig had to go to the hospital and thankfully, he didn't have any serious trauma or brain injury. His leg got scraped up and he had to wear a cast for a week. We took him home and he was supposed to be on bed-rest for another 3 weeks, but he was up and moving around after 4 days. Of course, he said he was fine and that nothing was wrong. He'd pop half a bottle of painkillers and get on his bike like that was okay. Our son just died and all he could think about was that goddamn Club.

Speaking of the Club, the Sons were crushed when Jayden died. They all got a new patch put on the lower right comer of their cuts to remember him, "In memory of Jay-Jay", and I thought that was nice of them. Gemma was _beyond_ distraught. You'd think she just lost her son because she was crying just as much as I was. Austin freely talks to Gemma and I'm glad he doesn't ignore her because she needed her family. It's what keeps her going.

Austin doesn't talk to Tig _at all_ now. He told me that they sat down to talk about the problem between them and it wasn't much of a problem at all. Austin was a bit of a lone wolf and he didn't need to be as social as his brother was. Now, the problem is what Tig thought the first time. Austin hated him and he's said it, screamed it really. Austin convinced himself that his father's Club was the reason his brother's gone and he wanted nothing to do with it. He refused to go anywhere near Teller-Morrow or the clubhouse and he won't say a word to any man wearing the Reaper on his back. Whenever my boys do talk to each other, it quickly turns into an heated argument and it's getting worse. I haven't seen them get physical with each other and I didn't want that to happen, but something was telling me it was coming. What was left of my family was falling apart...

I've been feeling so empty since Jayden died. Nothing seems to make me happy anymore. I think Tig is 'giving me space' because he rarely comes home at night and when he does, he always stays in Jessica's room. Austin's been in his brother's room the past few days. He told me he was going to get Jayden's stuff together to keep or give away to his best friends and he'd put the rest in storage. I knew him cleaning out his brother's room was part of his healing process, so I didn't interfere with the matter and I gave him the key to our storage unit. We got one after Jessica was born, when I allowed Tig to move in with us. I wanted him to be close to his family, but he hasn't been doing too much of that lately...

I didn't know if Tig was staying away from home because he didn't want to fight with Austin or because he didn't want to think about Jayden. I haven't seen him cry since the funeral. Maybe he knew that I was going through this steady episode of sadness and was keeping away to let me do what I needed to. I didn't want him to do that. I wanted him to be around and hold me for a minute. I wanted him to tell me that everything was going to be okay and that we were going to get through this _together._ With him gone, I was left with my thoughts and that just made everything worse because I'd think about all the horrible things that have happened since that Jimmy incident.

Half-Sack was dead and he died for me. When Jimmy came to ambush the cabin with his goons, Half-Sack was fending them off with all his might. Once everyone ran out of bullets, he locked me in the bathroom and went out there to fight until he took his last breath. That kid put his life on the line for me, but he didn't have to. He could've left me in that cabin and hopped out the window, but he didn't. He gave his life to keep me safe, to protect my boys, and he died for his loyalty, died for the Club.

Happy walked out of my life without so much as saying 'goodbye' or leaving a goddamn note. He could confront any man with balls of steel, but I was close to him and he figured that it'd be easier to leave without anyone knowing. I knew how Happy worked, how he functioned. He was probably back in Tacoma and he made the charter keep their mouths shut about his whereabouts. Happy was the infamous Enforcer within the Sons of Anarchy and I'm sure every patched member from here to Ireland knew who he was. Nobody would dare get on his bad side, President or Sergeant-At-Arms. I knew he was keeping tabs on the mother charter though. I still hated him for lying to me about everything and for murdering my father, but I still loved him and I missed him like hell right now. I needed him and I felt even more stupid for telling him to stay away from me. I didn't think he'd leaving Charming though. After I lashed out, I thought he'd wait for me to settle down and we'd rebuild our relationship because no matter what...that man was my Dad and I was his little girl...

Then Kozik died, a dear friend of mine and brother. I felt like I knew the guy for as long as I've known Juice and we were just as tight. He told me everything about his life from when he was a junkie, through his service days, how he got involved with the Sons when he was decommissioned and how he formed a bond with my husband. I told him my life story too and he took in every detail, committed every word to memory. Kozik always told me that I was good for Tig, that he'd need me more than anyone else because I loved him and that's what he really needed.

Miles and Rat were on my mind too. Thankfully, they weren't dead, but they probably wanted to be. After they got that harsh scolding from Chibs at Church, they got piled on by all the Sons and Clay forbid them to be within 3 feet of Teller-Morrow. They couldn't wear their cuts for a few weeks and when they were allowed back in the Club, they were demoted. It was back to grunt work for them. That was a rare thing to happen in the MC, a patched member getting his title stripped and being downgraded to Prospect status.

I was a goddamn omen. Everyone I loved was dying and it seemed like the reason was just me existing, just because I was still around. If I would've told Jayden to go do something, _anything else,_ he wouldn't have gotten in that car. I would've gotten that SUV unhooked instead and would've died, but my baby boy would still be here.

If I would've pissed Jimmy off, I knew he would've gotten sick of my shit and put a bullet in my head. Instead, I gave in to what he told me and I thought he was lying up until he showed me his proof. I should've been stubborn and said that I didn't believe him. He or his goons would've killed me...or Kaylee would've. Jesus Christ, her death was my fault too. She might've been a whore, but she was still a person with feelings and she obviously had some for Tig. He confessed to hooking up with her a few weeks after I was gone and he kept her around until I came back. It was hard not to get attached to Tig's rough charm. His eyes screamed danger and he could look at a woman like he was about to devour her. That's what draws them in and Kaylee took his bait. She was just a confused junkie who thought she met a man that would change her life. She probably loved him, the poor girl.

Before that, I should've been killed in that goddamn fighting competition. It was a stupid thing for me to agree to do in the first place. I was so close to succumbing to Death's call while I was in Russia, but I never found the strength or perhaps, the cowardice to allow myself to let someone kill me. I had something to fight for and it wasn't just the money or the fact that my name would be known throughout the underground. No, I pushed forward because I had a family waiting for me to bring home the gold. I promised Chibs I would make him proud of me, even after he told me he already was. I felt like I had a debt to repay the Scotsman because he was like my sponsor. If women could be members of the Club, Chibs would've taken me on and been responsible for making sure I learned the ropes around SAMCRO.

It goes further back though. It begins and ends with Happy. He tried to make me into an exact copy of what he was, a heartless murderer that showed no emotion. I could never be like that and he ended up making me split into 2 people. One Talia was the heartless savage he wanted and the other Talia was his loving daughter. If he would've just offed me when he found me, none of this madness would've happened.

I didn't have my fight anymore, didn't have much of a reason to do anything anymore...I have to search for a reason to get out of bed in the morning because it didn't come automatically anymore. It seemed like the world just stopped and was waiting for me to decide if I was going to get it spinning again or leave it stationary.

 **"** **Alex is trying to get away from me and I think I should just let him go.** **"** I sadly muttered. **"I try to talk to him and keep him around, but I don't want to trap him. If he wants to leave me, he should. It'll make things easier. I'll take Austin out of Charming and he'll get better. Jessica doesn't need to be around this kind of violence, but I know Alex won't let me take her away. I just wish I had you or Happy here to help me...I'll come visit again soon. I love you."** I took the bouquet of roses from next to me and propped them on her headstone. I kissed my hand and put it over her picture.

I sighed and stood, wiping the tears from my cheeks. I always came to talk to Mom when the cemetery was empty and I was glad I did. I didn't want another mourner to try to talk to me and ask who I was visiting. It was none of their business. I went to see Jayden before I came here and he was buried in a cemetery in Charming, the same one that John's buried in. I went to see the patriarch of the Sons of Anarchy and I asked him so many questions that I would never get answers to. Before I left, I asked John to lookout for my son in whatever world their souls are living in now.

The drive back home was silent. I didn't turn on the radio or roll my windows down and the only thing that disrupted the quiet was my Burner, but I chucked it out the window. Juice and Chibs have taken it upon themselves to text or call me every 5 minutes. Chibs would ask me if I was okay and he'd try to keep me updated on what was going on in the Club, but I never listened because I didn't care. I wanted nothing to do with their _activities._ Juice would come over and try to hang out with Austin or he'd be with Jessica. He tries to talk to me, maybe get me to open up, but I never did and he'd leave. Gemma came over almost everyday to take Jessica and she'd ask if I was doing alright, but I usually didn't answer. I was shutting everyone out because they weren't who I wanted. I needed my husband.

When I got home, I shuffled inside and let my keys slip out of my hand to the floor. The house was quiet, but tidy and I went into the kitchen. There was a note sticking to the fridge. _"_ _Going to Damien's house after school, b_ _e back before dinner~Austin."_

I regarded the note and made a pot of coffee. I debated on calling Tig just to hear his voice, but I didn't. I felt like I'd be bothering him. When the timer dinged, I heard a knock at the door and I went to answer it. Waiting on the other side were 2 black men. One was bald and tall while the other man had a small bush of hair as well as facial hair. Both men were wearing suits and they looked like they were important, either business men or involved with politics. I looked behind them and saw 4 more men. They were much beefier than the 2 in front of me and I pegged them as bodyguards.

 **"Talia Trager?"** The shorter man asked. **  
**

 **"Yes?"**

 **"My name is Damon Pope. This is my head of security and right hand man, August Marks."**

 **"Ma'am."** The man next to him held his hand out, but I didn't take it and he tucked it into his pocket.

 **"Mrs. Trager, I am the CEO of Pope Partners Incorporated."** Damon started again. **"It's a construction industry and-"**

 **"If this is Jacob trying to win the hearts of** **Charming's** **residents, you can go tell him to piss off. I don't care about what his plans are for Charming and I'm not gonna vote for him."** I started closing the door and I saw August share a look with Damon.

 **"I'm here on behalf of your son, Mrs. Trager."** The door was barely a slit, but I heard Damon and I slowly opened it again. **"Your second youngest, Jayden, just passed, right?"  
**

At the simple sound of my baby boy's name, I felt my throat well with a sob that desperately wanted to come out, but I wouldn't cry in front of these men. I didn't know them, but they obviously knew about me and my family.

 **"Mrs. Trager, could we come in?"** August asked and his tone was just as polite as Damon's.

 **"You and Mr. Pope can come in."**

 **"Please, call me Damon."** Damon smiled at me and I briefly nodded.

 **"The rest of your friends can wait out here. I'm sure you can understand why I wouldn't want a group of men in my house without my husband here."**

August put his hand up and did a motion that made the men behind them step back to the black Rolls Royce Ghost. Damon must wipe is ass on hundred dollar bills because that car costs half of a fortune. I wasn't afraid of the outnumbered aspect, but it would be better to try to take down the boss, then deal with his buddies instead of trying to take them all on at once.

I closed the door behind the men and led them into the kitchen. I motioned for them to sit down at the table, but I heard a growling and Kip put his front paws on the chair August was about to sit in. He must've come in from the backyard. He was growling at August, teeth bared and ears flat. August put his hands up in a nonthreatening manner and took a step back.

 **"You have a gun."** I stated and both men looked at me. **"You fired that gun recently and he** **can smell the gunpowder. He** **feels like you're going to attack me. Take it out, put it on the table."**

August looked a bit surprised, but Damon looked like he was proud or something. That was a bit strange and he looked totally calm, also strange. August looked at Damon and he nodded. Slowly, August opened the jacket of his suit and took his silenced pistol out of a black holster. He before he could set it on the table, Kip jumped up and I thought he bit the man because August jerked his hand back while Kip ran away. August wasn't holding his hand and I didn't see any blood on it. I didn't see the gun on the table and figured Kip took it from him to go hide it.

 **"Should I expect to get that back?"** August asked as Damon sat down and they were both smiling.

 **"I wouldn't get your hopes up."** August chuckled at me and sat down. I asked them if they'd like something to drink and they both asked for coffee. I poured them mugs, putting milk, sugar and spoons on the table.

 **"Mrs. Trager-"** Damon started.

 **"Talia."** Damon smiled at me and nodded.

 **"Talia, I'm not sure if you know this, but I recently lost my only child. Veronica, my daughter. She passed 2 weeks after the death of your son."**

Damon dug in his pockets and took out his wallet. I saw all the black, platinum or gold credit cards he had tucked in the slots of the leather holder and he pulled out a picture, showing it to me. The woman looked like she could be in college and she had long brown hair. Her eyes were like little chocolates and she was smiling. She looked like a very sweet girl and Damon flipped the picture to face him. He smiled at it, but it was a sad one and I knew it because I was the same way when I'd look at a picture or video of Jayden. **  
**

 **"I'm sorry for your loss."** I said to Damon and put my hand on his free one after he put the picture of his daughter back in his wallet. He smiled and pat my hand. **"Is that why you came here, to talk about our dead kids?"**

 **"I came to enlighten you on what your husband and his Club have been keeping you in the dark about. I know that you're also involved with the Sons of Anarchy. You participate in their fights to get them money and you're like an Enforcer, doing the dirty work whenever you're needed."**

 **"I haven't worked for the Club in a long time and I haven't been in a fight since I found out I was pregnant."**

 **"You tried to get out of their life, the only life you knew. I know that had to be a hard process for you. Back to the topic at hand, your husband's Club supplies guns to the One-Niners, formerly led by Laroy Wayne."**

 **"Formerly?"**

 **"He's been decommissioned and replaced by Tyler Yost. He's doing a better job than Laroy was and with my guidance, they'll stay on the right path. After your son died, your husband took matters into his own hands and went to get revenge. Your Club believes the Niners planted that bomb and he went after Laroy with intentions to kill him. Laroy was on a date with my daughter when your husband came hurdling down the road and attempted to run him over, but guess who was killed instead?"**

I knew what Damon was talking about with the Club pinning that explosion on the One-Niners. It was that black vs. white war Clay was talking about before. Once they had someone to blame for what happened to Jayden, I knew Tig would've done anything to get his hands on the person who killed his kid because his Jayden meant everything to him and he was going to get revenge.

What I didn't know was that Tig went out and ran over some poor woman because he was being reckless. What the hell happened to their strict 'We don't kill women' rule? Damon was right about me pushing the Club away too. I knew how dangerous things could get and that's why I started distancing myself when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want my kids to get hurt because their father was the Sergeant-At-Arms for an outlaw biker gang with hordes of bloodthirsty enemies. I was trying to keep them safe long before they came into the world, but it still wasn't enough because Jayden was gone...my baby boy...

 **"Mrs. Trager."** August said and I blinked, feeling the tears in my eyes. I looked to Damon and he just took a sip of his coffee.

 **"I'm sure you can understand the pain I was going through when I heard my daughter had been murdered in broad daylight."** Damon said and he was looking into the mug. **"I came down from Oakland and gave her a beautiful funeral, dealt with Laroy afterwards. After some digging, I found out that your husband was the one responsible and I made my presence known to the Sons. They were having trouble with a group of white supremacists, LOAN if I'm not mistaken, and I offered my assistance to get closer to them. It's come to my attention that LOAN ordered the Niners to burn down your brothel because they knew a Son was inside. I'm sorry about that and I wish I could've dealt with them before it happened."**

 **"Mrs. Trager, you've been put through a lot of pain because of the Sons of Anarchy."** August said and put his bigger warm hand over mine. **"Their enemies become threats to you and what's left of your family. The reason behind Mr. Pope and I coming to see you today is to extend our deepest and most heartfelt apologies for the loss of your son."  
**

 **"I can assure you that under my control, the One-Niners** **won't hurt another one of your children, especially not that beautiful baby girl of yours.** **"** Damon said and took another sip from his mug before he stood, smoothing out his tie. **"** **My daughter was taken from me, but I couldn't take that little angel away from _you._ It's come to my understanding that your husband has 2 daughters from his previous marriage and one of them just so happens to be in Charming. She owes one of my associates quite a bit of money and she went to her father for help. I'll be meeting with her tonight. ****Your suffering is over, Talia.** **Unfortunately, you're husband's is not."**

Damon pushed his chair in and started to walk around the table, squeezing my shoulder before he left the kitchen. August stayed for a minute and gave me his sympathy for my loss again before getting up to leave. I stayed right where I was, frozen with pain and sadness.

My child was murdered because of that goddamn Club. Even after I told them to keep my family out of it, after Clay promised me my boys wouldn't get hurt. This is exactly why I didn't want Jayden to Prospect. If he got in, he'd have to start killing and I didn't want any of my kids to know what that was like. I promised myself I wouldn't raise them like Happy raised me. There wouldn't be anymore bloodshed, no more bodies. Jayden wanted to be like Tig so much that he would've done anything to get in the Club and I never understood why he felt like he had to show Tig that he was devoted to SAMCRO. Maybe he just wanted to be closer to his father, but they were as close as a father and son could get. When Austin told me he didn't want anything to do with the Club, I was so relieved to hear it and I knew he was trying to persuade his brother to rethink his decision.

Knowing why my son was dead, I didn't know what to do. After that Jimmy bullshit, all I wanted was honesty and I was still being lied to. Tig knew what he did and he didn't even tell me. That's probably why he's been keeping away from me. He knew Damon was going to spill blood and he didn't want me to be targeted. I couldn't trust any of them, could I? All the Sons cared about was their stupid Club. They didn't care about a mother losing her goddamn mind over the death of her child, but I was going to get mine.

Gemma's been taking Jessica off my hands since Jayden's passing and I knew she was at home because I her to bring my daughter around that clubhouse ever again. I didn't know where the Sons were though. I didn't want to talk to any of them, but I called Juice and asked him were everyone was. He told me everyone was about to rally at TM, but Clay was already there with Rat. He tried to spark up a conversation, but I hung up on him and called Kip. He came to me and I wondered where he put that gun. I asked him to go get it and he brought me one of his toys. He ran into the living room when he took the gun, so I went in there and started looking under the furniture. I found the gun between the couch cushions and it was loaded. I put him in the backyard and locked the house up, going to my car.

I quickly drove to TM and the gate was closed, so I honked a few times. When it slid opened, Rat waved at me and I parked my car near the clubhouse. Rat came in with me, but he split from me while I headed for the dorms and into my old room. It was still vacant. I grabbed the chair from the desk and stood on it, knocking for that square cutout. Once I found it, I took my bags out and looked around for the block of C4. I found it and it's detonator.

I put the explosive under my shirt and called for Rat. He came jogging down the hall and I gave him the bag of my handguns.

 **"Making a donation?"** He asked with a smile and I smiled back, nodding. **"Thanks, Tal. We were running low on firepower and we're broke again."**

 **"Anything for the Club, right?"**

 **"Right."** He smiled at me again and took off to add my guns to the ones stored in the back.

I went into the kitchen and Chuck wasn't around. I rummaged through the drawers and found a roll of duct tape. I didn't see Clay outside or in the office, so I knew he was in the chapel. I knocked and heard him tell me to come in. He was at the head of the table with some papers in front of him, his reading glasses on. He glanced up at me and smiled.

 **"Hey, Tal. It's good to see you around here again."**

 **"What are you doing?"**

 **"Ah, TM shit. I let it pile up and Gem decided that your daughter deserves her full, undivided attention, so I'm on my own."** He chuckled.

Clay motioned for me to sit in the chair on his left, Tig's seat. I got closer to him, but I didn't sit down and was behind him, watching as he scribbled on the papers. He asked me if I could help him and when I didn't answer, he turned around. His eyes widened a bit when he saw that he was looking down the barrel of a pistol.

 **"Tal-"**

 **"Don't."** I growled.

In the next 5 minutes, I had Clay tapped to the chair and the block of C4 was strapped on his chest, right over his heart. I sat on the table and traced the huge Reaper as we waited for the rest of the Sons to get here. I knew Rat wouldn't come in here without being invited in because he and Miles were still on thin ice.

 **"Why you doing this, Tal?"** Clay asked and I almost missed the small quiver in his voice. I looked up at the man and saw so much hurt in his baby blue eyes.

 **"Why is my son dead, Clay?"** I retorted and he looked away from me, but his ears perked at the sound of motorcycles pulling in. **"Keep quiet."**

Clay blinked at me and I took that as him understanding. I closed the Chapel doors behind me and waited for the Sons to pile in. When they did, they were all talking to each other and were headed for the bar. They probably just got finished killing someone.

 **"Clay just called Church."** I announced, getting the attention of all the men. **  
**

I slipped inside the Chapel again and went behind Clay, turning his chair around to face me. He still looked beyond crestfallen, but I didn't feel anything towards him. The Sons piled in and took their respective seats, none of them being able to see the President.

 **"So, what's going on?"** Jax asked and his eyes were on Clay. The older man looked up at me and I slowly turned him around to let the Sons see the condition he was in. I saw immediate panic on all of their faces and Jax stood up. I took the detonator out of my pocket and flipped the little hood that shielded the button. **  
**

 _ **"Sit down."**_ I hissed and Jax looked at Clay before he took his seat. All eyes were on me and I looked into the eyes of every member sitting around this table, feeling like they were strangers to me. My eyes fell on Tig and he looked heartbroken too. **"I got a visit from someone today, one of your little playmates. Tell me, boys, does the name Damon Pope mean anything to you?"**

 **"Talia..."** Tig pleaded and I felt like that was the first time I heard his voice in years, but it didn't give me the comforting feeling I hoped it would.

 **"Because it means something to me."** I continued, completely ignoring him. **"Mr. Pope and his hitman knocked on my door and I let them in my house. We talked and I found out that he was a grieving parent just like me. He also told me why my son is 6 feet under. Jayden is dead because of this Club, because of what _you_ did." **Tig blinked back the tears in his eyes, but I was as cold as ice.

 **"He was trying to avenge his son, Talia."** Clay said and I cocked my head at it. **"It was a reckless move, but he had the best interest at heart and I gave the 'OK' on it, so if you wanna blame anybody, it should be me."**

 **"And that's exactly why we're all gathered here today. You're the root of everything this Club does, Clay. You're the reason why this Club has so many enemies. This isn't the path John wanted this Club to be on."**

 **"JT was weak and confused, Talia."** Jax said with a stone voice. **"He didn't know what he wanted and he didn't know how to run this Club. Clay's been keeping us afloat over 30 years."**

 **"And how many Sons have died in those 30 years? How many people have been killed by a Son in those 30 years? How many people have _you_ murdered since you've been in this Club, Jackson?" **He didn't say anything, looked away from me. I watched Jax evolve over the years and at first, he couldn't stomach offing someone, but he got into the drift of things. Clay taught him to kill or be killed, taught all the Sons that. If you don't shoot, you're dead and if you run, you'll be hunted down like the scared animal you are. Once you accept the leather, the only way out is death and nothing can change that. Even if you get stripped of your patches, you will always have a past as a Son and that follows behind you for the rest of your life. **"When does it end, the bloodshed, the death? I thought being part of SAMCRO meant that my family would be safe from anything. I thought this Club would protect my kids."** **  
**

 **"We're all hurting, Tal."** Juice said. **"We loved Jayden, he was our family too."**

 **"You don't know what hurting is. You don't understand a goddamn thing I'm going through."**

 **"So what are you gonna do? You're gonna kill Clay for something he didn't want to happen? It's all our faults that Jayden's gone, but this isn't going to solve anything."**

 **"Maybe we should all die then."** I said with a small laugh and I felt the tension in the room coil like a snake. **"You've all lived the life, got a taste of the danger. Everyone in this room has done something horrible and the world of law, the only acceptable punishment would be death. We're all a bunch of lying murders, so what the hell?"**

Nobody said anything and I took in how every man at this table looked like they were about to piss out their souls. None of them were familiar to me anymore, none of them seemed like family. I've been around these men half my life and they all were like strangers to me. All they've done is use me for their own benefit and set me aside until they needed to use me again. I've never asked for anything from this Club, but when I do, they can't even keep their promise.

Doing this, destroying every Son in the mother charter, would effect all the other charters. It would take years, _decades_ to recover from this and some of them would probably shut down. Wars would start, arrests would be made, Sons would die or strip themselves of their leather. The entire foundation would fall apart and that seemed like the only retribution acceptable for what's happened.

Without the Sons of Anarchy, another Old Lady's child wouldn't die because of their father. If I did this, I'd finally stop living in so much pain and I wouldn't have to worry about this damned Club anymore.

This was _my_ way out.


	28. Chapter 28

**I thought that _Let It Go_ by James Bay was a good song to listen to while reading this chapter.**

* * *

 **X~Talia~X**

Tears. Everyone had tears in their eyes and I let mine slide down my cheeks, but I wasn't scared. Unlike every vicious, hardcore biker in this room, I was the only one that didn't have an ounce of terror or panic in me. There was no uncertainty in my mind. I felt at ease and Jayden was in my thoughts. My sweet son with his charming smile and big heart. He was so kind and helpful. He loved his family and Jessica was all he could think about. From the minute he held her, I knew he had a deep attachment to his sister and he got to be a big brother like he wanted.

I remembered when Austin and Jayden started their first days of First Grade. Jayden was so excited to be around other kids and he was bouncing around all morning. He was asking Austin a million questions about what school would be like and what he thought they would do. He didn't cry and attach himself to me when we got to the building either. He gave me a hug and ran into the doors. In the middle of the year when Austin got moved up a grade, Jayden didn't think anything of it. He wasn't sad to be separated from his brother or jealous that he was moving up. Austin was the one who didn't like the change at first. He wanted to stay with his brother and he cried on his first day of Second Grade. He started to accept the separation from his brother when he realized he'd see him everyday at lunch and recess.

My boys were polar opposites though. Austin's always been quiet, but Jayden was more vocal and often spoke for the both of them when they were kids. When they grew up, Austin got a bit more talkative, but Jayden was a social butterfly. Austin would come home and have a story to tell about his brother flirting with the girls at school or how he managed to get detention for something. On parent-teacher nights, every one of Jayden's instructors would tell me that he questioned _everything._ It was as much of a blessing as it was a curse because his questions would either be too advanced for them to answer or he'd get the class laughing at him. My son almost started a riot in his history class when they were learning about the American Revolutionary War. The teacher divided the class into 2 groups: Redcoats and Colonists. Jayden was put in the Redcoat army, but he refused to support either side. He wanted to be the Native Americans that were caught in the middle of the war and decided to make his own army with students who saw eye-to-eye with him. They called themselves the Wahewa Warriors.

Jayden was so unique and he tried to make his life just as peculiar as he was. He loved all kinds of music, he wanted to travel to places in the world that people have forgotten, he wanted to see all the mysteriously bizarre things that lurked in the shadows of life and I loved how adventurous he was. He would've grown up to become something amazing and he would've loved the excitement he got from his job. He'd probably try to go pro with soccer or he'd take up BMX-ing because that was his latest fascination. He wanted to learn all the current tricks and invent his own. We were going to go pick out a bike for him on the weekend...

A smile grew on my lips and I knew it was full of unadulterated happiness, but I probably looked like a deranged animal. Based on how the Sons were still looking at me, I'm sure they thought I had to have lost what was left of my sanity. I wasn't crazy. Despite being detained in a mental hospital, there wasn't anything wrong with me and I could normally function in society. Just because I killed people and thought that fire was an amazing thing, and that it was a bit on a turn-on, that didn't mean there was something wrong with me. The Sons were the ones who had problems, they were the ones who needed to be evaluated and seek help. I faced my demons head on while they avoided and buried theirs. My latest fiend was made of lies and pain that stemmed from these men. There had to be some form of punishment for what they've done because that was another one of their problems. There's no discipline. These men were just wild and lawless without a sense of what's right or wrong.

I looked at each member again and when my eyes fell on Quinn and Montez, I did feel slightly bad about what was about to happen to them. They didn't have anything to do with Jayden's death because they've been doing grunt work since their patch-in. I briefly thought about letting them walk out of here, but I decided against it. Just because they were new to this charter didn't mean they weren't Sons before. They both had blood on their hands.

 **"Don't do this, Tal."** As if he knew I was thinking about him, Jax's voice disrupted my thoughts and I looked at the blonde man. **"This isn't the way to solve your problems. Doing this is gonna cause a shit storm of trouble in all the other charters and think about who else you'll be hurting. Fiona and Kerrianne, Donna, Kenny and Ellie, Precious and Tiki, _Gemma_ and Tara. She's pregnant, Tal. She just told me this morning. This is gonna be my first kid. You want him or her to grow up without a Dad?"  
**

 **"Without a _Son_ for a Dad? Yes. If it's a boy, you'll expect him to join the Club and he will. He'll kill for it and be killed by it. If it's a girl, she could grow up to be a Crow Eater or worse, she'll be a Son's Old Lady. This destructive lineage needs to stop breeding, Jackson. Don't you understand that?"**

 **"What about _your_ son and daughter, Talia?" ** Opie said from his seat and I tilted my head a bit. **"What about Austin and Jessica? I think about my kids everyday and I would do anything to get Donna to come back to me. What are your kids gonna do without their Mother, Tal?"**

 **"They'll live."** Was all I said and it was self-explanatory.

Austin would be 18 in a few months and I know he'd get into the Army, so I didn't have to worry about him. He'd be able to get away from this awful town. Jessica would be taken care of too. Tara would get custody of her if I died. When I talked to her about it, she said she wouldn't let my daughter be raised by the Club like I was. She'd have a normal life without Harleys and guns. At first, Gemma was going to be the person to take care of Jessica, but I actually thought about what that would mean. Gemma took me under her wing and taught me how to be an Old Lady since I was 16. She prepared me for anything the Club could go through and how to help them, but she didn't prepare me for how to deal with my child being killed by this damned Club. She would've done the same thing to Jessica, groomed her to be an Old Lady. I didn't want that. I wanted my daughter to fall in love with a righteous man that didn't have a track record or a warrant or has ever taken someone's life. I didn't even want her to grow up in Charming anymore. I just wanted her away from all the insanity this Club brings before she got destroyed by it like her Mother did.

I didn't have any resentment to the matriarch. I loved Gem as if she were my Mother and I called her Mom. She took me in and showed me how to be a strong woman that men drooled over, but other women were jealous of. She made me put myself of the highest pedestal and think I was flawless. Until Tara came along, she was the only woman who I considered a friend and she knew me as well as she knew the Sons.

I heard Clay start to talk again and he was trying to convince me that he was responsible, but his voice started to fade until it was silent. Nothing was changing my mind and I was going to be as selfish as the Sons were. Even with me starting to tune out everything, I did hear someone knock on the doors and they opened.

 **"Clay, David's outside looking for-"** Gemma stopped and her eyes went wide at the explosive on her husband's chest. She looked at me and her expression changed to painful horror. **"What's going on, honey?"** She asked in the gentlest voice.

 **"Gem, just get outta here. We got this under control."** Clay said in a firm voice and Gemma's thick lashes batted as her eyes filled with tears.

 **"I wasn't talking to you, Clay."** Her husband must've tried to say something else because she put her hand up to stop him. She looked out into the bar before closing the leather door. Her eyes met mine and she had the same anguished look from when she was at Jayden's funeral. **"What's all this about, Talia?"  
**

 **"...it hurts so much, Gem."** My voice quivered and more tears streamed down my cheeks. My throat was burning from trying to keep myself under control and not start bawling.

 **"** **Jayden?"** She asked and I nodded. **  
**

 **"** **All the time, everyday...it hurts."** I looked to Tig and Gemma's eyes followed mine. **"He killed our son and he doesn't even care, Gem...everything I love is being taken away from me because of him or this Club and I'm sick of it."  
**

 **"It's not Tig's fault. He didn't want that to happen."** Gemma cooed and I looked at her. **"I know you're in pain and you're gonna be hurting for a long time, but it's gonna pass. I was hurting when my Thomas died and I blamed everyone. JT acted like our little boy didn't die and I wanted him to feel some kind of pain. Men don't hurt and grieve like women do, but Tig cares. He loves you and he loved his son. It took a mistake for me to figure that out and you're about to make the same one I did. I taught you better than that, Tal. You can't sulk in sadness. You've got to pick yourself up and get stronger. If I could do it, you can too, sweetheart."**

 **"I can't...it's too much."** I shook my head and Gemma did too.

 **"I know you've never been through this kinda pain, but you can do it. C'mere, baby."** She opened her arms to me. **"I'm gonna be there with you for every step and I'm gonna help you through this. Take the first step, Tal."**

I was silently bawling now, little whimpers escaping. I didn't know how to deal with this kind of pain, but Gemma did and I should've gone to her for help. Gemma's been through every kind of pain a woman could experience and she could write books on how to get through the darkest days. She was the all-knowing healer. She was going to give me what I've wanted to get from Tig. She'd be my solace because Gemma wouldn't ever turn her back on me.

I sniffled and lowered the gun from the back of Clay's head. Gemma nodded and I slowly inched my other hand down until it was leveled with the table. Gem smiled at me, but I felt something around my wrist and everything was a whirlwind of blurs. I knew Jax grabbed my wrist and began to wrestle the detonator out of my hand while managing to get me on the ground. I heard all the Sons bolt from their seats and some of their chairs got knocked over in their haste, but their boot covered feet were stomping everywhere. Jax got the detonator out of my hand and I re-tightened my grip on my pistol while he straddled me. His electric blue eyes locked on the gun and without thinking, I pulled the trigger.

Everyone was yelling now and Jax was off me, slumped against the wall next to the loveseat. When I got on my feet, I aimed the gun at the first leather-coated back I could focus on. Gem wasn't at the door anymore, but I had a Reaper in my sights. It was about to be open season for me and the game was the Sons. This had to be Quinn or Opie due to their height and when I fired again, I missed, but was slammed against a wall...by Juice. I never knew how strong he was, but Jesus Christ, I really noticed it now. He was almost as strong as Happy.

Juice had my free hand pinned up, his chest was keeping me trapped against the wall and he was trying to get the gun out of my hand. He was forcing me to bring it up and I knew he was going to bang my hand against the wall to make me drop it. I attempted to kick him in the nuts, but my knee came up to his gut and he let out a small grunt. I got my free hand from his grip and raked my nails over his face.

Juice yelped and I shoved him off me. He landed on his back on the table and I had the gun pointed on his head. His cheek was bleeding from when I scratched him and from the blood trickling down his throat, I cut pretty deep. Clay was gone, but I didn't care about him right now. I'd find him and he'd get his, all the Sons would.

 **"Tal."** Juice sadly called me.

 **"You turned on me too?"** I growled through my panting. **"I thought I could trust you, Juice. You told me I was your sister and that you'd do anything for me. It was just you and me, remember? We're the strays and you told me we had to stick together though thick and thin."**

 **"You're trying to kill everyone, Talia!** **You expected me to just sit back and wait my turn?!** **"** He snapped.

 **"You should've. Maybe I would've let you go."** I sneered.

I didn't even have Juice anymore. This Club turned him against me and I realized that I was on my own, that I always have been. It's always been kill or be killed, but I'd never think that the one man I once considered blood would turn on me. Juice was a stranger to me now and I had a job to do. I'd make him the prime example that I was not fucking around. I locked eyes with Juice and his clenched shut when I pulled the trigger, but all I heard was a click. I didn't even have a round in the chamber. I should've checked how many bullets were in the pistol before I came in here. The damn thing wasn't even mine.

Another hand clamped around my wrist and it pulled me into something hard. As I struggled against it, I started to smell something...sage and lemongrass. Tig pried my hand open and tossed the gun out of my hand, only needing one arm to keep me subdued. He turned me around and my back was to his chest. He locked my hands in front of me and lifted me, pushing the chapel doors open. When we got into the bar, I saw Bobby and Montez cutting clay out of the tape while Opie had the C4 in his hands. Gemma was struggling to get out of Quinn's hold and screaming at Tig to let her talk to me, but he was ignoring her.

I was thrashing in Tig's hold and screaming threats. He was taking us down the hall of the dorms and I somehow managed to use enough power to make him slam into the wall next to JT's bike. With a growl, he tossed me over his shoulder and didn't seem to notice me punching at his back with all the force I could muster. He kicked a door opened and we were in his dorm. The door slammed against the wall and he slammed it shut, but it sounded like it cracked a little.

Tig threw me down on the bed and was trying to keep my hands away from him face because I was trying my damnedest to hit him. He got on the bed and was straddling me, limiting the movements of my flailing legs.

 **"What the hell is wrong with you?!"** He barked and pushed my hands down into the mattress. His eyes were seething with rage. **"You could've killed someone, Talia! You could've gotten yourself killed!"**

 **"What the hell does it matter to you?!"** I snapped back. **"You don't care about me! All you care about is this stupid Club!"**

 **"I _love you,_ Talia! I don't put anything or anyone over you!"**

 **"You haven said a word to me in weeks, Alex! It took a death threat to your precious Club for you to even _look_ at me! That's how you show how much you love somebody?!"**

Tig and I screamed at each other for what felt like days, his Club and Jayden being the base of it all. He didn't let me up, but he did let my wrist go and he'd push me into the bed whenever I tried to get up. This would mark the first time this man has ever gotten angry with me and I thought I'd never see the day he snapped. I never gave Tig a reason to be mad at me. I cooked for him, made sure he came home to a clean house, I did the things he liked in bed. When I put on a lot of makeup, he _told me_ to take it off because he didn't like it. I didn't dress like a whore and I never flirted with another man. I have been the perfect girlfriend and wife to this man, but what have I gotten in return? A half-assed father who knows what he's doing in bed and a dead son. That was my reward.

Tig let me up because he started pacing around the room and we just kept yelling at each other. I noticed how he'd hit the wall every few minutes and back away from me, but I'd always get in his space again. I was provoking him because this was the most display of emotions I've seen in weeks. He's been this cold, statue and I hated it, but I was getting a reaction out of him today. I was feeding off his rage. Things got a little more physical and I started pushing him or punching him in the chest. That would get a rise out of him, but he never even raised his hand to me in a threatening way. Was it bad that I wanted him to hit me? I didn't want to get into a physical fight with him and Tig's never laid a finger on me, but for some strange reason, I _wanted_ him to.

 **"You're not the only one in pain, Talia!"** Tig barked. **"I lost my son too! Don't you think I'** **ve been going through the same shit you are?!"**

 **"I wouldn't know! You don't come home, you don't talk to me anymore! You stay away from what little family you have left to run around playing bad boy biker!"**

 **"I grieve differently than you do, Tal! I've been though this before, I've lost people all my life! I'm sorry that I don't come crying to you every time I think about Jayden! That's now how I cope with death! I haven't been coming home because I don't wanna see you hurting, angel! It fucking hurts to see you cry and I can't stand it! Then Austin's always screaming at me-"**

 **"So you completely give up on him?!"**

 **"Austin doesn't want me in his life and I'm doing what he wants me to, staying out of it! I knew he hated me and I tried to tell you that your son-"**

 _ **"My son?!**_ **The kid is in pieces because he lost his little brother, Alex!"**

 **"So it's okay for him to take it out on me?!"**

 **"He has the right to! Jayden would still be here if it wasn't for _you!_ You decided to be reckless and ran down Veronica! That was so careless and you knew it was, Clay knew it was a stupid move! You know what? He is my son! Just like ****Jayden _was my son_** **and** **Jessica is _my daughter_ _!_ You didn't raise those kids, Alex! I did! I have been Mom and Dad to them since the days they were born!"** I threw my hands up and turned my back to him, trying to simmer down. **"I knew I shouldn't have done this."**

 **"Shouldn't have done what?"** Tig questioned and I rolled my eyes. **"You shouldn't have married me? Are you fucking serious, Talia?!"**

 **"Yes!"** I turned back to him, rage boiling over. **"I shouldn't have married you, I shouldn't have laid down with you and I sure as hell shouldn't have given you kids because you don't deserve them! You don't deserve anything or anyone! I knew you were bad news and I knew you were going to fuck me up even more than I already was, but I still fell in love with you! Why the hell didn't you push me away, Alex?! I was 18, a stupid,** **naïve _teenager,_ but you didn't care! I bet you would've slept with me if I was 16! You'll sleep with anything that has a goddam pulse! Jesus Christ, you'll sleep with something even if it _doesn't_ have a pulse! Where the hell do you get off, Alex?! When do you stop?!"**

Tig looked a little shocked when I brought up his apparent Necrophilia, but I knew about it. After it slipped out from Jax, I started noticing all the jokes from the Sons about Tig having sex with a corpse and I asked Clay about it. Of course, I got the President drunk as ever, but he told me about his Sergeant-At-Arms dark fetish and it was egregious to say the least. I wondered if Tig was doing this when we were together and the thought of him being with me after he's been with a dead body sent stomach churning chills down my spine.

I was letting out all the things I've been keeping bottled up. Tig wanted to be a Dad, but he didn't understand that he had to actually raise his children to attain that title. I've been raising our kids, I've been teaching them life lessons, I've been keeping them on the right track. What has he done? He buys them gifts and if I'm lucky, he'll spend an entire weekend with them. That wasn't being a father.

After more cursing, I just slapped Tig and I thought that would be his breaking point, but it wasn't. He warned me not to do it again and in an act of stubbornness, I hit him again. I was acting like a child, but I was feeding off of the emotions coming from him. I was basking in hearing his voice again because I missed him. After the second hit, Tig just stared at me for a minute and his eyes were black, his pupils deeply dilated.

I expected Tig to hit me back now and when he grabbed me, I knew he was going to. He proved me wrong and roughly kissed me instead. I halfheartedly pushed him away and he wrapped his arms around me, locking my arms at my sides. All the anger started to melt away. All the pain and despair were leaking out of me and I started crying again. Tig stopped kissing me and I just sobbed into his black shirt. I started sinking down and he got on the floor with me, pulling me in his lap. This is what I wanted. I wanted him to be close to me and let me know that he was there for me, that I still had him. When he just shut me out, I felt like he died too and I couldn't take it.

 **"I love you, Talia."** Tig muttered into my hair and held me tighter. **"I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. Even being together all this time, I'm still not used to someone loving me and I didn't know what to do, so I left. That's what I'm used to, running away. I'm not gonna leave you, angel. I'm here, always will be."**

We sat there for the longest time and Tig kept saying the sweetest things or apologizing to me, but something wasn't clicking. I was getting the affection I've been craving from him and it made me get a little buzz inside of me, but there was nothing now. I stopped crying and was just listening to his heartbeat. Of all the times I've gone to sleep on his chest and heard the soothing thumping, it wasn't doing anything for me right now.

Tig stood up with me in his arms and set me on his bed. I didn't notice it until he went to his closet, but he had Jack in there and he gave the big teddy bear to me. Jack was the only thing I had left of Happy and I had the bear locked in my embrace, remembering him. Tig told me he'd be back and he left. I heard the click of the lock, but I wasn't trapped in here. There was a sliding window in his bathroom that I could get out of, but I decided to stay in here and wait.

I knew Tig was out there inspecting the damage I caused and figuring out what was going to happen with me. Maybe the Club would vote for me to leave Charming and never come back. I'd pack up my kids and be gone before the sun set. We wouldn't ever come back. Then there was a possibility of a Mayhem vote. I took the President hostage and was seconds away from killing him. I probably killed Jax or I hurt him pretty bad. Juice got hurt too and I was about to blow the entire charter to pieces. 3 strikes and I'm out. When Mr. Mayhem was involved, the Sons put aside any and all feelings to make the vote legit. I wondered if that's what they were doing now.

I stared at the door and waited for Tig to come back. I couldn't even hear anyone talking out there. Eventually, I heard the lock click again and the door opened. Tig came in and he sat at the foot of the bed, putting his hand on my leg. He didn't look sad or upset, but serious.

 **"You almost killed Jax."** He informed me, but I didn't respond. **"The bullet grazed his temple, knocked him unconscious. And Clay, Jesus, you scared him half to death. I think he was crying a minute ago. Juice has got some deep scratches on his face, might have to get stitches. Everyone else is seriously shaken up about that little episode."**

 **"What's the verdict?"** I asked and Tig's eyebrows furrowed. **"The Mayhem vote. What did they say?"**

 **"Jesus Christ."** Tig sighed and ran his hands over his face. He fully turned to me and took my hands in his. **"There was no Mayhem vote and there's not gonna be one. Opie said that C4 was a dud, so it wouldn't have exploded. Chibs is working on Jax and he'll be fine. You didn't do anything to deserve a Mayhem vote, Talia.** **You're hurting over Jayden and I get that, we all do, but there's something else wrong.** **You almost blew up the MC. That's-that sounds like suicidal shit and that doesn't sound like you."**

 **"You don't know me anymore, Alex. I don't even know who I am anymore."** I mumbled. **  
**

 **"I do know you, Tal. I know that you don't want to kill yourself because if you wanted to die, you would've done it after Happy found you. You wouldn't have waited all this time."**

 **"...take me back to Oregon."** I pleaded and the tears instantly filled my eyes because I thought of Happy. I looked at Tig and I saw how pained he looked to see me about to cry. **"I'd rather be sitting in a padded cell getting pills stuffed down my throat than staying here. I can't do this anymore. This life isn't working for me anymore."**

 **"You just need some time to heal, Talia. A lot's happened to you recently and it just keeps piling on. If you need to go somewhere else for a little while or if you think you need to see someone, I understand. I'll get you whatever you think you need and the boys wanna help too. You've got people here for you, angel. We all love you and we wanna help you."**

Tig pulled me to him and hugged me, but I didn't wrap my arms around him. What I _needed_ was for my son to be alive and for this Club to stay out of my life. When Tig let me go, he told me that he wanted me to stay here for a few days and that someone would be here to get whatever I needed. He told me that David was here looking for me too. I guess he finally wanted to get some information about the Den burning down. Tig didn't say if I was allowed to talk to the Deputy Chief, but I knew I was supposed to keep the Club out of it if I did.

Tig gave me a kiss on the head and said that Tara had Jessica at her house, leaving afterwards. Austin was going to be out late after school and he'd probably call me when he was on his way in. I was going to ask him if he could spend the night at Damien's just so he wouldn't have to be home because I knew he didn't want to be there.

Here I was again, alone and with my thoughts of death or disappointment. I couldn't even destroy a motorcycle clubhouse or even cause a bit of damage. All of the Sons were still in once piece and Jax would probably be pissed at me when he woke up, but that was going to pass. I didn't know how Juice would be, but I honestly didn't care. I wanted out of this life and I wanted to be free of this Club. I was tempted to slice this goddamn Crow off me.

I was still thinking about Happy though. I wondered what he was doing and how he was dealing being away from Charming. Maybe he found a woman and fell in love with her. I had to laugh at that thought. I think Happy was incapable of falling in love with someone, but that didn't mean he had no feelings. He loved his brothers in this charter and he loved me. He's never met my kids, but he probably loved them too. The big question on my mind was what he'd do if he saw me again. Would he run or just be silent? Would he tell me to stay away from him or would he tell me he missed me and hug me? Anything could happen and I wanted to know.

I knew the Sons probably had Miles and Rat guarding the door to keep me in the clubhouse. That was fine because I wasn't going to waltz out the front door. Where was the fun in that? I knew Tig had a gun stashed somewhere in here and I found one in his dresser. I clicked off all the lights in the room and tucked Jack under the blankets. In the dark, it looked like someone was sleeping. I went into the bathroom and opened the window, standing on the toilet to give me a boost. I slid out and landed on my feet. I looked around and I realized I was behind the clubhouse where the stacked tires were along the gate. There weren't any cameras back here.

I climbed one of the tire mountains and hopped the gate. The first thing I needed to do was get a car and that'd be easy enough. I walked down 2 blocks to put some distance between me and the clubhouse. When I came to a crosswalk, I waited until the light changed to red and walked in the middle of the street. A blue Honda Civic blared its horn at me, but came to a stop and the driver got out. It was a man that looked like he just started hitting the gym, but he was still pretty skinny.

 **"What are you doing, lady? You could've gotten hurt."** The man got closer to me, still voicing his concern about almost hitting me, and I pulled my pistol out. He clammed up and started to raise his hands, but I told him to put them down.

I got in the car with the startled man and tied his seat belt around his hands, attaching it to the hook on the car's door. I knew how to get to Bakersfield from Charming I'd make it there in an hour from how fast I'd be driving. The man stayed quiet as we drove, but I could hear him muttering under his breath and I think he was praying. When I actually listened, I could clearly hear him citing verses from the Bible.

 **"You believe in God?"** I asked and the man stiffed a yelp. **"The Christian one?"**

 **"Y-yes."**

 **"Why?"**

 **"H-He's helped me get through some of the darkest days of my l-life. I confess my transgressions a-and he forgives me. My faith in Him has been rewarded with p-protection and good luck. C-could you...please."**

I looked at the man and he pointed to the rear-view mirror. Hanging on it was a rosary with blue and white beads. There was a wooden cross dangling on the end and I took it off to give it to the man. He clutched it in his hands and kept muttering his prayers. I wasn't too thrilled to hear them, but I didn't want to sit in silence.

For the rest of the hour, I sometimes asked the man questions and found out that his name was Noah. No surprise there. His father was a preacher and he ran a church with his mother. Noah's gone to catholic school all his life and he's been dating a woman, Abigail, for 2 years. He was planning on proposing to her and was on his way to pick up her ring from the jeweler until I stopped him. Noah cautiously asked me if I was going to kill him and I didn't answer. He's seen my face and I knew he'd go snitch to the cops, but I was still undecided. If I let him go, the cops would come for me. Being back in lockup seemed like a good thing right now. I'd be away from the Club and Austin could come visit me...

When we got to Bakersfield, I found the quiet neighborhood with lovely houses and we were parked across the street from a white one with a porch. This area was mainly populated by elderly residents and it was almost always quiet. A brunette came out of the house and she was wearing violet scrubs. She was the caretaker Happy hired. She came down the steps to the mailbox and headed back inside. I turned to Noah and he still had his eyes shut, grasping that cross. I struck him with the butt of my pistol twice and reclined his seat to make it look like he was sleeping in his car.

I got out and skipped up the steps of the white house. I rang the doorbell once and stepped back, waiting for the woman to answer. When she did, she smiled at me.

 **"Can I help you?"**

 **"I need you to call your boss."**

 **"I'm sorry?"**

 **"The man who hired you to take care of his mother? Call him."** The brunette looked like she was about to ask another question, so I flicked my shirt up to let her see the pistol tucked in my waistband.

Stiffly, she let me inside and I locked the door behind us. I had the gun on her back as she led us into the kitchen and took the phone off the wall. She took a paper out of her chest's pocket and dialed the number with trembling fingers.

 **"M-Mr. Lowman, it's Chrissy. I know you told me only to call if there's an emergency and there is one. Could you come to Bakersfield today? Okay...I'll see you soon."** Chrissy kept a pretty clear voice during the call, but she let out a gasp when she hung up. **"H-he said he'll be here in 20 minutes."**

 **"Good. Is his Mom sleeping?"**

 **"Y-yes...she just took her hourly medication."** The woman began to cry and I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to hear her blubbering. **  
**

I sat down at the kitchen table with the brunette and just stared as she wept. I've done enough crying for one day and I didn't want to see or be around more of it. When the woman began to calm herself down, I started to hear the beeping of what sounded like a heart monitor in a nearby room. I've never met Happy's Mom, but he's brought me to this house when we were living in Oregon. I always picked a bouquet of flowers for her, but I stayed outside on the porch when he'd come to see her on his short visits.

When I heard a motorcycle roaring down the road, I got a nervous spark of happiness and I heard keys jingling. The door opened and heavy feet stomped through the house, going in the direction of the beeping. His raspy voice called for Chrissy and he found us in the kitchen. There he was and he looked exactly the same. His brown eyes were hard and forever held a frighting dominance, but I wasn't afraid of them. He was still just as muscular and I could see his tattoos poking out from the neckline of his wife-beater. His jaw was set and I saw it clench more when he looked at me.

 **"Hi, Happy."** I tried and smiled a little. Happy didn't say anything and he didn't take his eyes off me when he stepped in the kitchen. He pulled Chrissy out of her seat and took her out of the room. I heard a door close and the beeping noise was silenced. Happy came back into the kitchen and sat across from me. **"I wanted to see you. I didn't hurt your Mom and Chrissy's a little scared, but I didn't do anything to her either. I just...I miss you..."**

 **"You on the run?"** He asked in a low voice and I just took a minute to appreciate the sound of it.

 **"No. Not yet, at least. I almost killed everyone in the clubhouse today. I took Clay hostage, tapped him to a chair and stuck a block of C4 on him. Turns out, the damn thing was a dud."** I scoffed, smirking. **"I did shoot Jax though. The bullet scraped his temple, he'll be fine. Juice got a piece of me too."**

 **"Was there a Mayhem vote?"**

 **"No and apparently, there won't be one."** I barely heard it, but Happy sighed and leaned back into his chair. He closed his eyes and rubbed one of them. I remembered he'd do that when I was a kid and I'd be pushing his buttons. Happy barely disciplined me as a child and I rarely needed it because he'd give me this look that told me to cut it out or else. **"...did you hear about the Den?"**

 **"Yeah. Kozik's dead...and so is Jayden."** A bolt of pain struck through me and I bit the inside of my cheek as the tears filled my eyes again. Happy cleared his throat and I noticed him picking at the wooden table. **"...I put flowers on his grave...Jayden's...I thought that'd be okay."**

 **"Thank you."** Happy nodded at me. **"You've been up in Tacoma?"**

 **"** **Nevada, sometimes** **Indian Hills. I'm drifting again, trying to stay close to her."** He inclined his head and I knew he was talking about his Mother.

 **"You're not gonna come back to Charming."** Happy glanced at me before setting his eyes downcast. I knew he wasn't and he did too. **"...I shouldn't have told you to stay away from me."**

 **"Yes, you should've. I shouldn't have done that to your father. I should've let you decide what kinda life you wanted to live."** When I heard his chair creak, I looked up at him and his arms were on the table now. **"Why'd you try to blow up the clubhouse?"**

 **"** **Nobody knows I'm here, none of the Sons or Gemma, so you don't have to worry about anything.** **"** I ignored his question and smiled, feeling the tears stream down my cheeks. **"** **I miss you, Happy. I really do.** **I just really wanted to see you again, make sure you're okay."**

 **"What are you planning, Talia? It feels like you're saying goodbye."** He asked in a deadpan tone and I just smiled more.

I got up from the table and Happy did too, mimicking my motions as I headed for the front door. Before I opened it, I turned to him and hugged him. I felt the warm skin exposed from his shirt's neckline on my cheek and I breathed him in. Happy always smelled like... _home._ I couldn't pinpoint what his scent was, but the smell of cigarettes and just hard work always clung to his leather. I pulled away from him and saw how hard he was looking at me. He knew something was up.

 **"I love you, Dad."** Happy's steel eyes went totally soft and I kissed him on the cheek.

I walked out the door and I didn't even glance back at him. I did what I needed to do, got my closure that he was taking care of himself. When I got back into my hijacked car, Noah was still out cold and I started driving back to Charming. I dug in Noah's pockets and found his phone. I memorized Nero's personal number and dialed it. After 2 rings, he picked up.

 _ **"Talia? Hey, how are things going? You been doing okay?"**_ He was such a sweet man.

 **"I've got a present for you, Nero."**

 _ **"Oh? What's that?"**_

 **"20 eager, hard-working, sexy girls looking for jobs."**

 _ **"You mean your Kittens? You wanna give them to me?"**_

 **"Technically, they were already yours. We're business partners, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine, remember? "  
**

 _ **"It kinda sounds like you want me to take over your half of Diosas del Amor, Tal."**_ He let out half of a chuckle. _**"We picked out a new house and everything's coming together. You trying to tell me you don't wanna work with me? Is it because I'm Mexican? I'm a legal U.S. citizen, you know!"**_ I laughed at Nero and heard him join in.

 **"I know you'll be able to take care of my girls and the Devils are ready to work, so you don't have to worry about protection. I'm not selling you my half either, Nero. I'm _giving_ it to you. All I want in return is that you promise me you won't let the Sons get involved with the new cathouse."**

 _ **"Talia-"**_

 **"Promise me, Nero."** I heard him sigh and he muttered something in Spanish.

 _ **"...o-okay, Talia. I promise."**_

 **"Thank you, Nero. I'll have all their paperwork for you tomorrow. Can you stop by the clubhouse?"  
**

 _ **"Yeah, that's fine. I'll come by at around 1...are you sure you're alright, Talia? I-I know the pain from losing Jayden must be-"**_

 **"I'll see you tomorrow."** I hung up and took the battery out of the phone, then the SIM card, tossing them both out the window.

When I got back to Charming, I went to my house and it sounded like Austin was up in his room watching TV. I crept to my room and got the box of my copied documents on all my Kittens. I unlocked the safe from under my bed and took a few grands out, putting the stacks in a bag. When I was leaving, I peeked into Austin's room and saw him in there with Aria. They were sitting on the floor at the foot of his bed and Aria was laying on him, her back to his chest. Their fingers were tightly intertwined as they watched TV and I smiled at them. She made him happy and that's all I could ask for.

I went into the kitchen and got a marker from the drawer. I found a pen and wrote a little note for Austin, telling him that there was something in this bag for him with instructions on what to do with it before I set it on the counter. I snuck back out and drove to the clubhouse, going to the back gate. I thought about what I was going to do with Noah and felt for his pulse, but there was no beating. I guess I used too much force when I knocked him out. I decided to leave him right where he was.

I climbed over the gate and pushed one of the tires to the window, climbing back inside. Tig's room was still as I left it and if anyone checked on me, I knew they didn't realize I wasn't in here. I got back in bed and snuggled with Jack.

Tomorrow was going to be a big day for me.


	29. Chapter 29

**TRIGGER WARNING**

 **The following chapter contains sensitive content that some will find provoking. Read at your own risk.**

 **It took me a minute to write this chapter because it's pretty emotional and I kept getting frustrated when things weren't connecting the way I wanted them to. I'm happy with this though. I was heavily debating on what song I should use too.**

 **At first, I was going to go with Nirvana's _Dumb_ due to the meaning behind the chill vibes. Then, _When It's Time_ by Green Day was considered, but it was too lovey for the mood of this chapter. Three Days Grace's _Last To Know_ was almost picked, but I ended up going with a different Green Day song.**

 **Anyway, I hope you guys sadly enjoy this chapter and thanks for all the Favs/Follows and Reviews. I know I'm killing you guys and this is going to add fuel to this fire, but it's not over yet. :)**

* * *

 **X~Talia~X**

Gemma came to talk to me this morning. She went in depth about how men are a completely different, simpleminded and underrated species as compared to the supreme beings women are. She told me that since women can experience the ungodly pain of childbirth and are actually the vessels that give life, men will never be as attached to their children as a woman is. If their child dies, they'll be sad and they'll be in pain, but it won't be anything like a mother's suffering. From the way she teared up and the passion in her voice, I had a feeling she was talking about how John was when Thomas died.

Tempted, I asked what she did when her son died. I wanted to know how she got through it, how long it took for the pain to stop and how she healed. That was when I learned that there was no remedy for the suffering a mother goes through when she looses her child. Gemma said the heartache from losing Thomas never passed and she carried it in her heavy heart everyday. She told me that's why she has her birds, her plants and the Sons. They make her forget and they partially fill the void in the pit of her soul that was left after Thomas passed.

After that, after knowing I'd be in a world of sadness and I was just supposed to ignore it, I didn't listen to another word Gemma said. She was my last hope for recovery and now that I knew nothing could make this ache go away, I knew I was supposed to do this. I knew I was supposed to go see Happy yesterday to say goodbye and he knew it too. I just had a few things left to do now, make sure everything was taken care of before I left.

...

For the first time in weeks, I didn't wake up alone today. Tig's strong arm was draped over my waist and he was sleeping on his stomach. His head was facing me and my fingers were in his hair. I did miss feeling it, grabbing his soft twirls. I noticed how older he looked when he slept, when he was just staying still. This man's very being was created from hard work, dexterity and plain toughness. I gently traced the lines etched into his face and rested my hand on his cheek. As I stared at this man, the father of my children and the person I've decided to settle down with, there was one question in my mind.

 _Do you even love him anymore?_

And I thought about it.

When I was a teenager and had a crush on him, I never thought I'd actually tie him down. He was a man old enough to be my Dad, he was the definition of a sex symbol, he was a sly as a snake and had a bite that was just as toxic. He was rough, dominant and a sarcastic jackass. He could make people piss themselves with one intense look and he could have a woman on her knees begging for him if he wanted to. He's killed more people than I have and he's done things I've never even thought of doing.

Even back then when I knew that if I somehow managed to get him, even for just one night, I thought he was going to just treat me like a sweetbutt. He'd have an _inexperienced,_ willing piece of young tail in his pocket and still be able to fuck a porn star whenever he wanted. He got the best of both words, things that most men dreamed about, but he _picked_ me. I didn't understand why. He had to sneak around and teach me _everything_ about what it was like being with a man. He didn't have to worry about me flirting with a guy my own age, but I had to worry about him about to go to jail for almost beating someone to death mainly because _**"He was looking at you like you were an easy piece of ass."**_ The one thing he constantly reminded me was that I was _his_ and I liked how protective he was of me. It showed me he cared and that he didn't want to lose me.

But when I came back, I wasn't that simple-minded kid anymore. I was a grown woman that understood more things in the world. Granted, I was acting like a dumb teenager because I didn't notice the on-going fling Tig was having with Kaylee, but nobody just cheats out in the open for their partner to see. That one girl and how clueless I was made me think about if he's cheated on me before. He's certainly had the opportunity to. As soon as I came back to Charming, I was getting back into my Bounty work, running the Den and starting to fight again. I never ignored Tig or his needs and if I did, he made sure to let me know if he was feeling neglected. I think I needed more affection from him than he needed from me. If Tig felt like we weren't spending enough time together, a trip to the bedroom was all it took for him to be satisfied. I needed intimacy, but that wasn't limited to sex. I craved hugs and sweet kisses and hand holding, typical things a woman wanted, but those little things meant more to me.

My first intimate experience was savage and premature. I was _far_ from ready to explore that topic, but it happened and it messed me up. Happy showed me that I could still be loved, but it wasn't on _that_ level. Tig showed me love in the way I needed. He was the first man to show me that I could forget the past and make a future with him. And it was for that reason that I was questioning if I truly loved him. I loved him for giving me a family and for taking me out of that dark place, but did I still love him? Was I _in love_ with him? When he told me he loved me yesterday, I heard it, but I didn't _feel_ it. Maybe we needed to make love for that connection to come back. I don't think I could get in the mood though. I was willing to try it out, but I was pretty sure nothing would happen.

Tig made a quiet grumbling noise and I thought about...Jayden. When he was a baby, he'd wake up with his butt sticking in the air and and he'd grumble like a tiny, old man when he was waking up. He was not a morning person. Tig told me that after his service days were done, he'd still wake up at the crack of dawn and Austin did that as a baby. They both had pieces of their father in them.

Tig quietly grunted and his arm curled under my back, bringing me closer to him. He didn't open his eyes, but he put his head on my shoulder and I felt him kiss my neck.

 **"Hey."** He muttered into my skin and I rubbed my thumb against his cheek to let him know I was awake, but I didn't look at him. **"...I love you, Tal...with all my heart, I do..."**

There it was again, absolutely **nothing.** There was no spark, no butterflies, no moment of reminiscence. I didn't even think about the small ceremony we had for our wedding. All I thought about was seeing Jayden seared in that SUV and it seemed like every time Tig would say those 3 words, it would trigger that horrible memory.

Tig propped himself up on his free arm and was staring at me, but I still didn't look at his eyes. Me avoiding his gaze was probably killing him, but I was indifferent to his feelings and his damned Club. From my view, I could see his cut hanging on the chair next to the desk and it kept reminding me that even after he said he put nothing over me, he was a Son before anything. Hell, he was a Son before he was a _man._ His duty to his Club came before his family and his apparent love for me, but it took me this long to realize that. His wife and children would always be his _second_ priority.

 **"...Dawn's dead."** I glanced at Tig when I heard his voice crack and he sniffled. He buried his head into my neck and I could feel him crying.

I've never met either of his daughters or his ex-wife. He showed me pictures of his girls and they were beautiful, but as much as he said I'd be a good influence in their lives, that they'd love me or that he'd introduce me to them when they came to visit, I've never seen either of them in person. Gemma kept in contact with Colleen and she told me about Tig's daughters. Fawn kept her distance and tried her damnedest to stay away from her father. According to Gem, she was the smart one. She had a lot to say about Dawn. Apparently, her lies get into all kinds of trouble and she never had any cash on her. When she needed something, which was usually money, she came crawling back to her father and he'd cough up as much money as she needed with no questions asked. Gemma knew Dawn was using Tig and she said she didn't know if he knew it, but he just loves seeing her. Giving her money is the surefire way to keep her coming back to him.

 **"What happened?"** I asked, but not as emotionally as I should've. My tone was very casual, verging on uninterested.

 **"She was burned alive last night."** He choked out and sat up. Tig was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands and he was weeping. **"I watched her burn, Tal. I watched her go up in flames. She was screaming for me to help her and I couldn't do anything...I had to watch her die...and Fawn...God, she hates me now. She's gonna take off and I'm never gonna see her again..."**

I stayed silent and just watched as he broke down. This was strange to see and as I watched him weep and be devastated over his daughters, I started boiling. Our son dies _right in front of him_ and he barely sheds a single tear. He didn't pour his heart out and tell me how broken he was because Jayden was gone. He didn't say if he had haunting nightmares about our son or that he missed him everyday. I don't even think he went to visit Jayden's grave since his burial. He's been in his sons' lives since they were born and I know he's interacted more with them than with his daughters, yet he's about to summon Satan to sell his tainted soul if it would bring his daughter back? How dare he?

I took the time to tally up Tig's score sheet. 5 kids, 3 daughters, 2 sons, 2 marriages and 1 ex-wife have come from this man. His youngest son and second youngest daughter are dead. His oldest son and daughter hate him, want nothing to do with him and never want to see him again. His ex-wife is probably happy and with another man who she can stand because according to Tig, they absolutely loathed each other, but married for the sake of their kid...just like I did. I was going down the same road he's been on just like I heard Happy say. I was coming in and out when I was up at the cabin, but I heard him telling Tig off. I didn't understand most of what he was scolding him for, but Jimmy filled in the holes.

 **"Now do you understand why I tried to end this Club yesterday?"** I asked as I sat up against the headboard of the bed. Tig didn't say anything and he was still slouched over, but I didn't know if he was still crying because he was quiet. **"Children are dying and they'll continue to die if this Club still exists. The Men of Mayhem bring just that to their families, chaos, destruction and death."**

 **"...it's my fault."** He muttered. **"It's all my fault..."**

 **"Damon said he was going to get revenge. I never doubted that he wouldn't."**

 **"...I never said it was Damon."** Tig said and he turned around to stare at me. **"Y-you..**. **h-he _told_ you he was going to kill Dawn?"**

 **"He _told_ me he wouldn't hurt Jessica because she's a baby. He _promised_ me he was going to hurt you, swore it even. He said he knew one of your girls was in town and that she owed one of his guys some money, told me he was gonna go talk to her. I didn't know it was Dawn." **

**"You _knew?"_** I looked at Tig then and for the second time, I saw rage in his eyes. Pure, reverent, chilling fury. He looked ready to kill, yet I wasn't even nervous.

I nodded and Tig stood up, half starting to pace. I locked eyes with him as he began to sputter questions about why I didn't tell him. It's not like I could've prevented Damon from doing what he did. That man was hellbent on getting blood for his daughter and no amount of hiding or protection was going to save Dawn. What happened to her was inevitable and if she didn't roll into Charming, he probably would've went after Fawn. Either way, one of his daughters would've died. I understood Damon too. I've been in his shoes and I was ready to torture the sorry bastard that took my baby boy away from me, but I couldn't even get _that._ He got Larory killed and I guess I could consider it for the both of us, but _I_ needed some kind of retribution. I wasn't ever going to get it though.

Tig was still muttering to himself, but he sounded more heated and he started throwing on his clothes. Still silent, I watched him move around his dorm and he tugged his cut on before grabbing a pair of boots. He stood at the foot of the bed and had his hand over his eyes. He finally looked at me and I took in the look in his eyes. Was that betrayal? Ha! I've been loyal to him and this _gang_ half my life and I've just been fed lie after lie. He doesn't get to feel betrayed because _I've_ been getting back-stabbed all this time and he's been pushing the knife in deeper.

 **"Don't leave the clubhouse."** Tig said, well, _commanded._

 **"And if I do?"** He stared at me, probably wanting to scoff at how childish I was acting.

 **"Do not leave this clubhouse."** He repeated in a steady tone. **"And don't make me have to go out looking for you."**

 **"You're such a heartless, selfish bastard."** I grumbled loud enough for him to hear me and I knew my eyes were as cold as ice.

 **"Talia, don't do this right now."** He warned and I cocked my head at it.

 **"Kozik dies and you bawl like a newborn baby. Dawn's dead and you rip your heart out. Jayden dies _right in front of your goddamn face_ and you shed _1_ tear. You were crying your eyes out when Rouge died, a fucking _dog._ I don't understand how you function, Alex."**

 **"Talia-"**

 **"You tried to spend every waking moment with him. You started giving him riding lessons, you taught him how to shoot a gun when he was 13, even after I told you to wait until he was 18, you bought the kid condoms and gossiped about all the girls you've fucked, you bailed him out those few times he got arrested, you snuck him out of the house and let him come here for a party to get drunk and probably to fuck one of those disease ridden whores. Yeah, he told me _everything."_** Knowing he got busted, Tig looked away from me.

Austin told me everything he did and Jayden told Tig everything he did, but Mom always finds out. The things he let my son do when he was 16 shouldn't have even been thought about until he was legal! Jayden willingly told me he's been sexually active a few weeks before his 16th birthday and I always dragged his frisky butt to get tested twice a month. I made sure he had protection and told him that if one girl knocked on my door saying she was pregnant, I was going to tear his piece off with my bare hands. Austin was pretty much the same. Like Jayden, he started his sexual escapades a little before he was 16, but Aria came into his life and they started their relationship. With Tig as their father, I honestly expected them to be sleeping around when they were 14 because that's when Tig said he started fucking around.

 **"You let him wear your leather, Alex.** **That's a big deal, that means something.** **"** I continued and Tig still didn't look at me again. **"You wonder why Austin kept you away. You were _being a father_ to his brother and not him. I can't remember the last time you guys did something _together,_ just you and him."  
**

 **"What do you want from me, Tal?"** He asked in a tired voice.

 _I want you to stop avoiding me. I want you to get in this bed and make me believe that you still have an ounce of feelings left towards me and I don't want you to stop until we're both screaming like psychopaths. I want you to hold me and tell me you love me until I believe it again._ _I want you to stop leaving me alone._ _Jesus Christ, I just attempted to destroy this entire goddamn charter yesterday! Why wouldn't you try to figure out what the fuck's wrong with me? I don't even understand what's wrong with me. I want you to help me, Alex.  
_

 **"Nothing."** I settled for saying that because I didn't even want him in the same room as me anymore. As my husband, he should know when something is wrong with his wife. He should _feel it,_ he should _see_ something's not right when he looks in my eyes. We've been together too damn long for one of us not to know when something's not sitting right with the other one. I know when something's bugging him and I figure out what it is. How the hell can't he do the same for me? **"Clearly, you don't care about me anymore, so go on. Go run around Charming with your posse and make more enemies that'll want to hurt you or the less than handful of people you give a shit about. Go up to Cara Cara and fuck the nearest pornstar princess willing to drop to her knees to suck you off. Better yet, go visit Skeeter and ask if he has any fresh ones.** **Go on, go be _a Son,_ s** **ee if I give a shit."**

 **"You think I don't-"** Tig's question was interrupted by someone pounding on his door and he looked over his shoulder at it. I couldn't hear them clearly, but I think Quinn told him that they were about to leave without him. **"I'll be out in a minute!"**

 **"Of course."** I chuckled. **"You drop everything and go running when _they_ call, when _the Club_ needs you. Of fucking course."**

 **"We'll talk when I get back."**

 **"Don't bother."**

Tig was staring at me with furrowed brows now and he looked like he was about to say something else, but there was another knock . He pulled his boots on and promised that we were going to talk when he got back. As soon as he turned around to leave, I flipped him off. He didn't give a single shit about me, none of those assholes did.

I looked at the nightstand and the blue numbers on the clock said it was 11:36. I looked around for a spare Burner, but I didn't find one and I'm pretty sure I left my cell at home. I got out of bed and didn't bother going into the bathroom to freshen up. My morning breath was never the kind that needed to immediately be tamed and my face didn't feel crusty. What was the point anyway? It's not like I had anybody to gussy up for.

I opened the door and the hallway was clear, nobody out here. I didn't hear any of the Sons in their rooms when I walked past them and when I got to the bar, it was clear too. They wouldn't leave me alone, not after what happened yesterday, and I knew someone was around here to keep an eye on me. I shrugged it off and went into the kitchen. I stopped in the doorframe and saw Chuck digging around in the refrigerator while Juice was reaching up to get something from the high cabinets.

 **"And how'd you get those scratches?"** Chuck asked and I figured Juice must've told him a little about the events from yesterday. Juice sighed and took a few cans from the cabinet, setting them down on the counter next to the stove. He braced his hands on the surface. **"They look pretty bad. Did you piss of a Crow Eater or something?"**

 **"Talia scratched me...she's really messed up about Jayden and she feels like we're the reason he's gone. She strapped a block of C4 on Clay and she almost shot me."**

 **"What?"** Chuck asked in a completely shocked tone and closed the metal door. When he turned around, he had some vegetables in his arms and his face was twisted with concern, but he saw me watching.

 **"She tried to kill everyone, man."** Juice continued. **"She pulled a gun on me first. She was gonna shoot _me first._ She looked me in the eyes and pulled the trigger. I've seen her off somebody before and she had that same cold look. If there were more bullets in that gun, I really think she would've blown my head off and killed everyone else. I think she would've killed _Gemma._ "**

Juice scratched the back of his head and turned to look at Chuck. Now, his eyes were filled with tears and they were starting to overflow. He looked so sad and I've never seen him unhappy before. Juice straightened up and followed Chuck's eyes, discovering me. When Juice got that secretly timid look in his eyes, how his hand went to rest on the waistband of his jeans, I remembered that he wasn't my brother anymore.

This was the guy that came up to me and gave me the grand tour of this place. This was the silly man that got picked on by all the Son, excluding Chibs, because he was the youngest and he never tried to stand up to them until I came along. Juice fed off my confidence and it made him nut up to the Sons. He tried to stand his ground and get them to quit treating him like a Prospect.

This is who I'd be running with when Charming's finest were chasing after us with intentions to throw us in their squad car. Juice was who would be driving 3 hours with me, in costume, to LA every Halloween to go through their wicked Haunted Houses and Cornfield Mazes that were infested with walking scarecrows or chainsaw wielding killers. This was the guy always knocking on my door to drag me off to do something crazy or just to go for a long ride to get away from everything. Other than me being in a mental hospital, which I'm sure he knew about by now, I have told Juice every detail of my life and he's told me about his. I've spent more of my time goofing off with him than I have spending time with Tig.

This was my stoner buddy, pot dealer, designated drunk partner...my everything. This was my best goddamn friend who swore that we wouldn't let anything come between us and that he'd put his life on the line for me as I would for him. We both considered Gemma our mother and he promised me that we'd be brother and sister from the womb to the tomb, no doubt about it. _This_ was the man that Happy always told to lookout for me, that he trusted around me first.

But Juice was still a _Son._ He was a Son before he met me and be a Son until his dying day.

 **"Were you making lunch, Chucky?"** I asked in the same flat tone I had towards Tig, but my eyes never left Juice's. I did not trust him right now and his defensiveness was making me cautious.

 **"...yeah, Tal...you hungry? I could...um..."** I could hear Chuck's quivering breaths and he dropped the produce on the nearest counter before he ran out of the kitchen, making my hair whip behind my shoulder when he passed me.

Juice and I were still having this uncomfortably deadly standoff. I know he didn't _want_ to hurt me and I didn't want to hurt him again, but I knew he _would_ if he felt like he had to.

 **"Austin called before he left for school** **this morning** **."** Juice said and even his voice was guarded. My eyes were on the pair of bandages that were now decorating his cheek along with the 3 streaks.

When he moved his hand, I stiffened in anticipation for him to attack and he did too, stopping his movements. Slowly, his hand went into his cut and he pulled my phone from his pocket. I just got some kind of notification because the device dinged and the screen came on. We were on my lockscreen. I was holding my phone and he was behind me, but we were both smiling like we were having the best time of our lives. I had to be 16 in the shot, but I never changed my background from that picture. I loved it too much.

 **"Where's my daughter?"**

 **"Gemma's house."**

 **"Where's Tara?"**

 **"St. Thomas, working."**

 **"Where'd everyone else go?"**

 **"Out."** The quick responses coming from Juice weren't helping me ease up. It's like he knew I was going to ask these questions and he was prepared to answer. That, or the Sons could've told him what to say if I started prodding. **"You're supposed to stay here. You know that?"**

 **"And you're gonna keep me here if I try to leave? They put _you_ on watchdog duty?" ** I asked, smirking. I'm sure I could overpower him and if I couldn't, I could evade him like it was nothing. I was too sneaky for my own good. Then there was the possibility of me getting out through the window again or from the roof. The fall wasn't too far.

 **"Talia, don't. Just don't do anything...please."**

 **"Are you afraid of me now, Juice?"** He didn't answer me, but when I took a step into the kitchen, he flinched back and that was all I needed to know.

 **"I just want you to stay in one spot until the guys get back."** He blurted out and I heard the old Juice in his hidden plea. I knew he was battling with himself and he still cared about me, but this new demeanor between us wasn't working for him.

 **"I will."** I assured him and watched as his shoulders relaxed. **"I'll be in Tig's room all day, but Nero's coming and I'm gonna talk to him. I'm not gonna give you a hard time, Juice."**

 **"...thank you."** I dismissively shrugged and took a step near the fridge, but stopped when he tensed again. I inwardly groaned, turning to the cabinets.

After some digging, I found a microwaveable bowl of mac and cheese. After adding a little milk and butter, I popped it in the microwave. Juice tried to make his way to the other side of the kitchen without me noticing, but I did and I went to the fridge. We were stacked to the top with beers and I took one. I usually didn't drink until the sun went down because I didn't want to be an alcoholic like the Sons, but I decided to be reckless. Who was going to stop me? Who _could?_

I just popped the cap off my bottle when the microwave started dinging and I took a few gulps of the beer. I was already halfway through the bottle, so I grabbed another beer and turned around. I watched Juice take my food out and he silently hissed when he grabbed the scorching dish. He quickly pulled it out and dropped it on the top, cooling his hands off. He finally understood that the damn thing was too hot to touch with his bare hands and grabbed an oven mitt to place it on. When he turned to me, I saw a little hope in his eyes and figured he wanted to follow me around for a little while. I finished my first beer, grabbed one for him and headed to the dorms again. Chuck was nowhere to be seen or heard.

We went into Tig's room and Juice set my steaming bowl on the nightstand while I crawled back in bed. I knew I was going to get cabin fever if I stayed in here all day, but Nero was coming and I'd go outside to talk with him. Juice would probably be watching us, but so long as I could get out of here, I didn't care.

Juice grabbed the chair from the desk and slid it close to the side of the bed, but not very close to me. He was at a safe enough distance to run if he needed to. He looked like he was about to say something, but a chiming stopped him and he took my phone from his pocket again. Austin's face was on my screen and I furrowed my brows.

 **"Austin, what's wrong?"**

 _ **"Nothing."**_

 **"Why aren't you in school?"**

 _ **"Oh, I forgot to tell you. We had a half day today and the teachers are gonna be grading our tests, so we got a couple days off this week. I grabbed the money and put some in my account like you said. What should I do with the rest?"**_

 **"Hang on."** I put my hand over the phone and looked at Juice. He stared back at me for a minute before he stood and said he'd be waiting outside the door, leaving. **"I want you to take a vacation, baby. I just gotta call and I'm heading out of Charming today. I know you don't wanna stay home with your Dad. It'll be good for you and Jessica to get outta town for a couple days. There's an amusement park over in Fresno, you remember that one?"**

 _ **"Hmm...oh, yeah. The fairyland place. Jessie's gonna love it there."**_

 **"She's with Gem. Don't tell her you're leaving, okay?"**

 ** _"Okay."_**

 **"** **Get a rental, check yourself in a hotel and ask Felix if he could spare one of his friends to go with you. You remember him?** **"  
**

 _ **"Yeah, the Mexican guy. I think Jessie has a crush on him. She always smiles at him when he comes to the house. I've got his number in my phone. I'll call him now. Thanks, Mom! This is gonna be awesome!"**_

 **"Anything for you...and, Austin?"**

 _ **"Yeah?"**_

 **"...I love you, sweetheart."**

 _ **"Love you too, Mom."**_

 **"Okay, give Jessie a kiss for me and have fun."**

 _ **"Alright. Thanks again, Mom. Bye."**_ I sighed when I heard the phone click to signal the call ended. I missed my kids and I'd love to see them, but I didn't want them coming here. Austin would know something was wrong and I didn't want him worrying about me or blaming Tig because that could escalate to the physical level I didn't want it to go to.

I touched the side of my bowl and it was cooled enough for me to eat, but I needed some salt. I got out of bed and opened the door, seeing Juice bolt up from across the hall. I went back into the kitchen to get what I wanted, still not seeing Chuck anywhere, and came back to bed. I started eating in silence and Juice would take a couple swigs from his bottle, but he was getting texts on his Burner. As expected, he didn't tell me who it was or if something was going on, but I was pretty sure it was Tig asking what I've been up to since he left or Chibs keeping him updated on what they were doing around town.

By the time I was finished eating, Juice had gone to get us a few more beers and I was on my 4th one. With the light-ish amount of alcohol running through us, we were talking like we normally would and there was no mistrust in the air. I felt like a teenager again as Juice and I reminisced about the golden years we had behind us. I had to wonder if we'd still be acting like immature kids if I never had children.

When I held my boys for the first time, I was already changing into Mama and that was my most important title. Friend, mercenary, fighter and torture master weren't relevant to me anymore. The only thing I cared about was being a damn good parent to my boys, like how my Mom was when she was still around. I promised myself that Austin and Jayden would have normal lives. I didn't want them to experience a huge amount of pain or be scarred for life or be traumatically hurt. I wanted them to remember their childhoods were like any other kids'. They'd be riding bikes, getting their knees and elbows scraped up, catching creepy bugs and most importantly, that they had a Mommy and Daddy that loved them. We were doing so good too...

Juice and I got quiet again. Our beers were gone and he didn't make any motion to go get us more, so we sat in uncomfortable silence.

 **"I'm sorry about what I did to you."** I broke the quiet and Juice looked up from his lap at me. Those scratches weren't easy to ignore anymore and they were making me feel like such a dick for hurting him. Juice tenderly ran the tips of his fingers over the bottom of the scrapes and shrugged.

 **"** **I'm not gonna hold a grudge because of a scratch. Besides, y** **ou weren't... _you_ yesterday."**

 **"I don't think I could've shot you either. I mean, I wasn't going to. I had the gun aimed on your ear. Worst case scenario, you would've gotten your earlobe blown off. I know I scared you though. I'm sorry, Juice."**

 **"...you haven't been yourself."** He repeated and put his head down. I didn't take my eyes off him and he wiped at his eyes before looking at me again. **"Right now, I'm kinda seeing the old Talia, _Gemma's_ daughter, my sister...but you're not all the way here and I don't think you're gonna stay like this."**

 **"Which Talia are you seeing?"**

 **"Bounty Hunter Talia, Killer Talia. It's just like how Tig gets when he's got work to do. He shuts down, turns into this cold robot with no feelings until the job's done. That's who I'm seeing now, some emotionless soldier...the Talia that** **turned into** **Happy** **."**

Juice hung his head again and he put his hands over his eyes, but I turned my head away from him this time. I didn't know he knew how I felt like Happy tore me into 2 people, but he could _see_ it. He knew something was wrong and now, I really didn't understand how Tig couldn't.

A soft tapping at the door brought my attention forward and Chuck finally showed himself. He had his head hanging down and he didn't pick it up to look at us.

 **"Mr. Padilla's waiting outside for you."** Chuck muttered and still had his eyes focused on his fiddling fingers. **  
**

I heard Juice sniffle before he got up and said he'd be around if I needed him. I set my empty bowl and fork on the nightstand. I stashed the Kitten's documents under the bed and I grabbed them. As I headed out, Chuck shuffled to the side to let me pass and I did so slowly. Something was telling me he had something to say, but I didn't know if he was going to do it now or after I talked with Nero.

 **"Talia?"** I heard Chuck call and I stopped. I was almost halfway down the hall when I turned around and he met me. **"...are you okay?** **I-I know you don't wanna talk about Jayden, but...I loved him and I love Austin and Jessie. I don't have any kids and I don't know how it feels to lose somebody close because I don't have anybody, but I've watched your kids grow up...they're my family, you're my family, the Sons, Gemma...I love you,Tal, and I'm sorry that you're hurting so much. I'd take the pain from you if I could."**

 **"I wouldn't let you, Chucky."** I said in what I hoped was a kind voice and Chuck finally looked at me. A few tears were gliding down his cheeks, but he looked confused. **"The pain, I wouldn't let you take it. Nobody deserves to feel the anguish of losing their child and you should be happy, you deserve to be."** **  
**

 **"You deserve to be happy too, more than anyone."** I smiled a little, but that just seemed to make him cry more.

I gave Chuck a hug and let him weep into my shoulder for a second. When I let go, I asked if he was okay and he nodded. He scrambled up an excuse about needing to go do something and scurried off. When I walked out to the bar, I didn't see Nero sitting at a table and ventured outside. Juice was leaning on the other side of the door and he nodded to the picnic table near the ring where Nero was.

Juice walked with me to the table and Nero was lightly pacing as he talked on his phone. He ended his call when we got close and pulled me in for a warm hug. Juice was out of hearing distance, but he was still close to us and we sat down. I presented all the information I had on my Kittens and he had a few papers for me to sign that gave him full custody of _Diosas del Amor._

 **"You wanna tell me what's going on now?"** He asked as I just signed my initials and put the date next to it, flipping to the next page.

 **"From my understanding, I'm in the process of making you a business owner."** I smirked and peeked up at Nero. He huffed at me, one of the girl's profiles in his hand. He set it down and I went back to signing.

 **"I mean, what's going on with this? I didn't think you were serious."**

 **"This is the first step in me letting go, Nero."**

 **"Letting go of what?"**

 **"Everything. I'm working towards a huge change and I wanna make sure everything's taken care of before I start refining."**

I glanced up at Nero again and he was staring at me with his eyebrows pulled together. He looked confused and a little worried, but it seemed like he understood overall. He scratched his ear before nodding and starting to go through the rest of the profiles. He was separating the navy folders into 2 piles and writing things on them, so I think he was categorizing the girls.

 **"Oh, I gotta call from Felix before I came over."** He muttered, still scribbling down side-notes. **"He's with Austin."**

 **"I know. They're heading over to Fresno. Austin's got a few days off from school and I thought it'd be nice for him to get away from home on his break."**

 **"** **Felix said you told Austin you were going out of town, Bounty stuff.** **Were you planning on meeting them there?"**

 **"Yeah...I'm gonna be with my son real soon. Everything's gonna be fine after that."**

With the last dotting of an 'i', Nero was made the sole owner of _Diosas del Amor_ and I knew he'd run it right. My Kittens and his girls would get along perfectly. Marco and David were workaholics and I'm sure they'd love the extra work they'd be getting with the new girls. The Devils seemed to be trying to turn a new leaf and get off the streets, so protecting a cathouse was a good way to start their reform. Felix had so many good things to say about Nero, so I knew his boys would like their new boss.

I knew Nero was trying to hide it, but he looked really happy when he saw the signed papers and a smidgen of it came to me. I knew how much he wanted us to go into business together because he was working his ass off for Lucius. I've never met his son, but Felix has and he says that kid is the sweetest boy the world's ever seen. That's why I wanted Nero to have our business. With the reputation my Kittens and his girls have, he'll be racking in some serious dough. He can take care of Lucius and maybe, he'll be able to retire with a hefty pile of cash under his belt. I knew Nero wouldn't up and leave our girls though. He protected them, detoxed the junkies and generally made them happy. He was going to be fine.

Nero collected all the paperwork and I walked him to his car. He asked me if I was sure about giving him everything and said he was willing to rip up all those documents I just signed, but I assured him that I was content with my decision. Nero gave me a tight hug and told me he'd call when the new cathouse was ready for business. I didn't watch when he rode off and I started heading back into the clubhouse.

 **|TRIGGER WARNING|TRIGGER WARNING|**

Juice was at my side and when we got to the bar, I saw Chuck behind the bar unpacking some bottles. Juice went over to help him and I told him I was going back to the dorms. As I passed the bar, I grabbed one of the box-cutters and quietly left the room. When I got into Tig's room, I locked the door and took the chair from the desk to ram it under the knob. I sat on the floor with my back to the bed. I took my phone out and balanced it against the chair. I opened my music app and found the song I wanted, tapping it.

 _Summer has come and passed_  
 _The innocent can never last_  
 _Wake me up when September ends_

 _Like my Father's come to pass_  
 _Seven years has gone so fast_  
 _Wake me up when September ends_

 _Here comes the rain again_  
 _Falling from the stars_  
 _Drenched in my pain again_  
 _Becoming who we are_

I winced as the blade tore across my wrist, but I didn't look down and took a few breaths to steady myself. I felt the blood start to seep out and run down the side of my wrist. I replaced the blade under the new wound and dragged it across my skin again, ripping another wound.

 _As my memory rests_  
 _But never forgets what I lost_  
 _Wake me up when September ends_

 _Summer has come and passed_  
 _The innocent can never last_  
 _Wake me up when September ends_

 _Ring out the bells again_  
 _Like we did when spring began_  
 _Wake me up when September ends_

 _Here comes the rain again_  
 _Falling from the stars_  
 _Drenched in my pain again_  
 _Becoming who we are_

I let my now trembling hand release its clutch on the box-cutter and it fell to the floor with a soft thump. My breaths were shaky and I started feeling like the room was getting colder. It felt like the night Kaylee stabbed me all over again, but there wasn't as much pain and I was grateful for it. I was getting chills, my heart was racing, I felt like I was being weighed down by fatigue, I was sweating and trembling like a dog caught in the rain, but I've never felt so at ease.

It wasn't until I felt something wet starting to sink into my pants that I started to smile. The feeling of fabric sticking to my skin was making me get unsavory goosebumps, but that was just a small setback and I got over it. Still smiling, I relaxed back into the bed and succumbed to the weariness that was drowning me. I closed my eyes and escaped to the welcoming darkness, hearing my breaths echo.

 _As my memory rests_  
 _But never forgets what I lost_  
 _Wake me up when September ends_


	30. Chapter 30

**X~Tig~X**

 _Do me a favor and leave!_

 _Just go!_

 _You don't care about me!_

 _I shouldn't have married you, I shouldn't have laid down with you and I sure as hell shouldn't have given you kids because you don't deserve them! You don't deserve anything or anyone!_

 _I can't do this anymore._

 _You're such a heartless, selfish bastard.  
_

 _Clearly, you don't care about me anymore._

 _Go on, go be a_ Son.

It was all I could hear, her screaming at me. It was louder than any of the voices of the people I've killed and their plea or screams. It was some of the most painful things I have ever heard because it was coming from _her_.

The doting Mother of my children.

My faithful wife.

The love of my life.

I knew Talia was wrecked about Jayden, but I didn't think she'd still be crushed over him being gone. I didn't think she'd attempt to blow up the charter with all of us inside and I really didn't think she'd ever _blame me_ for Jayden dying. That's one of the things that hurt the most. My wife, my beautiful, loving soulmate, looked me in the eyes and told me I was the reason _our son_ was dead. She practically said I strapped that bomb on his chest and made it go off. She didn't seem to care that I could've died too or that I was hurting. Granted, I was pushing past the loss quicker than she was because I was used to it, but it still _hurt._ It stung like a bitch and hearing her say that I didn't care just tore me to pieces. I was making it worse though.

I knew Talia needed me, but I left her and that probably added to the anguish she was feeling. She needed someone to help her because that's what she was used to, that's what Happy did for years. He stayed by her side and let her know that he wasn't ever going to leave or abandon her. Christ, I wish I knew where the hell he was because his daughter needed him. Talia never liked being alone and she's never had much of anything to call her own. Then, Happy left her and she needed him to come back, Kozik died, then our son. Christ, she was so broken and I didn't do anything for her. I just left her in that vulnerable state.

I had to leave though. I couldn't watch her crying and fading to gray. I couldn't take Austin snapping at me like I was a goddamn stranger and not his Dad. I couldn't bare to look at my beautiful daughter and see the sadness in her eyes because she knew Jayden was missing. I couldn't take my family falling apart and I did the only thing I knew, the only thing I was used to doing. I ran away from my problems.

Just like I left the Crow Eaters alone in bed.

Just like I left Colleen.

Just like I left Dawn and Fawn.

I've been running all my life and I couldn't stop, not even for Talia.

I was going to try to help my wife. I wasn't a healer and I didn't know what to do to make a woman feel better, other than sex, but I was going to try for Talia. Other than Gemma, she is the only woman that I'd go out on a limb for and I'd give my life it meant making her feel better. Talia didn't deserve to be this down and sad. I've never seen her so broken before, but I was going to try to fix her.

I couldn't really care about what we had to do today, but it was probably important if Clay wanted us all to come. I just wanted to get this over with and get back to my wife. Jax was tagging along too and he had some bandage strips on the side of his head, but he was alright. I knew he wouldn't be pissed at Talia either, none of the guys were. They wanted to help her just as much as I did.

When I took a look around, I noticed the route we were taking and it seemed like we were heading up to Oakland. Mayan turf. I wondered what they could need with us. The Mayans usually handle their own business and don't need us for much of anything. Their gun shipment was scheduled to be here next Tuesday and Cameron doesn't have a problem selling to our brown buddies. According to Chibs, most of the Irish have nothing but hate towards Mexican's, but Cameron couldn't give a damn. He was just like us, his focus was on getting paid.

We got to the Mayan's garage and the metal shade was pulled down. Clay revved his bike a couple times and the gate was pulled up. We were greeted by our south of the border friends, but they asked Quinn and Montez to hang back while the rest of us were escorted to a different room. Alvarez was sitting at a desk and he looked up from it, noticing us. We got a warm greeting from the Mayan President, but he stopped in front of me.

 **"I heard about your son _._** **I'm sorry for your loss, _ñaño._** ** _"_** He regarded me in a sympathetic tone with a tender squeeze on my shoulder and I stood a little straighter. Nobody's said anything about my dead son since yesterday and the re-opened wound was starting to sting again.

When Jayden died, the Mayans were out of town to handle something with their other charter and this was the first time we've been face-to-face since they came back. Marcus was a decent guy and we were tight with him, so I'm sure he would've came to the funeral. The man asked me why the hell he didn't receive an invitation to my wedding. He's come around the clubhouse a few times when the boys were babies and he got to hold them a couple times. He said he was trying for a little girl and I think he had one, but I wasn't sure if he knew about Jessica.

 **"Thanks."** I cleared my throat and Alvarez nodded.

 **"How's Talia doing?"**

 **"Marcus."** Clay interrupted. The look he gave the Mayan president said something and Alvarez nodded in understanding, stepping away from me. **"You said you wanted to talk about something."**

 **"Your Niner buddies, they're pushing in on our turf and trying to push us out. Tyler's taking orders from Damon Pope and his boys think they're Kings now. It's becoming a problem,** ** _esé_ , a problem that could turn into a war with your town caught in the middle. I don't want it to come to that and I know you don't either, but a storm's brewing."**

 **"I'll talk to Tyler and get him to explain everything to you."** Jax offered and Alvarez chuckled.

 **"We're past talking, _mano._ Black needs to be put in line and Damon is the root of this problem. Niners think their untouchable 'cause they've got him in their corner and my numbers have started to dwindle. Recruiting takes too long, but I need more muscle to push back. That's where SAMCRO comes in. They're afraid you guys."**

 **"We can give you Miles, Rat, Quinn and Montez, maybe Juice. We're trying to keep close to home right now, internal problems."** Jax's eyes flicked to me and flashed with concern before they got hard again, his focus going back to Alvarez. **"We can't have our guys spread out too thin."**

 **"I understand and I was hoping you could talk to that rat pack that used to guard your cathouse, maybe rally them here for a little talk. I've heard that black's afraid of them and I could use that."**

 **"The Devils aren't connected to us."** Clay explained. **"And neither was that brothel."**

 ** _"De Verdad?_ 'Cause my boys saw those 2 t** **here with those _vatos_ almost everyday** **."** He pointed to Miles and Rat. The younger pair got scowls from the rest of us. Clay didn't make them strip their patches, but they've been getting treated like Prospects again and they were still earning our trust back. **"You guys had that porn studio under your protection and Talia was running the brothel. I figured the Sons were trying to get into pumping pussy." _  
_**

 **"It's a long story man."** Jax said and his dismissive tone was probably making our Mexican friend more curious about what we've been up to. **"We'll try to talk to Felix and if we can, we'll get him to sit down with you. I'm gonna talk to Tyler and see if I can figure out what Pope is up to. All I ask is that you don't kickstart this war."**

 **"** **I'm sorry, Jax, but dropping bodies can't be ignored.** **Black comes after me or my guys, we're gonna retaliate. I'll keep it as far away from Charming as I can, but if you get me that rat pack, things will be more under control and _way_ less bloody."**

 **"Fair enough."** Clay concluded and Alvarez went over to give him a brotherly hug. There was a quiet conversation between the Presidents, but they both pat each other on the back.

Everyone said their goodbyes and we started piling out. When we got back to the main part of the garage again, Montez and Quinn were playing dominoes with a trio of Mayans. They weren't known faces to Alvarez, so I'm sure they understood why they couldn't come with us. Trust seemed to be building now because Montez was chattering in Spanish and making their table laugh. We pulled them away from their game and headed outside to our bikes.

 **"Tig."** Clay called and nodded to the side. The rest of the guys were filling Quinn and Montez in on what that meeting was about and probably starting to plan what we were going to do. I followed Clay a few feet away from the rest of the guys and he had his head down as he shortly paced. **"I know this is gonna be hard for you, but we're gonna need Tal to start acting nor- well, like herself again, just for a minute. I know she's hurting, but she's the only connection we have to the Devils and I know you've got some beef with Felix, so she's gonna have to nut up for us."**

 **"I don't know, man. She's really just...out of it, you know? She doesn't want anything to do with us. She doesn't even wanna talk to me anymore."**

 **"Then get Juice to get her talking."** The gentle mood was gone when Clay's voice changed into a commanding tone. **"I need her to suck it up and play for the team 'cause Charming _will not_ be the battlefield for this goddamn race riot."**

 **"My wife is losing her goddamn mind and you're worried about niggers and wetbacks killing each other? Are you fucking serious?!"** My voice raised much louder than it needed to and I heard it echo, but Clay stopped his pacing to look at me with a surprised expression. **"Is that all you see her as, a goddamn pawn to use whenever you need her?! Do you not give a single shit about how's she's feeling right now?!"**

 **"I took her in!"** He barked back and I could hear the rest of the Sons coming over to us. **"She owes this Club! The woman's killed a billion people who've got kids and families, but she didn't think anything of it! She didn't let all the blood on her hands get to her head, yet she decides to let it sink in now!"**

 **"Her _son_ _is dead_ _!_ Jayden _was not_ some random fucker that was neck-deep in shit! What would you do if Jax died?!"**

 **"I _wouldn't_ lose my head and try pull some Kamikaze shit like she did! I'd get over it! She should be able to forget about Jayden and move the fuck on!"**

Who the hell was I looking at right now? This wasn't the Clay I've known half my life because my brother wouldn't be so heartless at a time like this. The Clay I knew loved Talia and treated her like family. The Clay I knew loved my boys and treated them like his own. The Clay I saw at my son's funeral was crushed and teary-eyed, trying to console _his_ dolorous wife while trying keeping himself together. The Clay I saw yesterday was devastated over my wife's attempt to take his life and was heartbroken to know how messed up she was.

Whoever the fuck this Clay was...he wasn't a familiar face to me.

 **"Hey, hey. Let's settle down."** Chibs' voice made a bit of my focus go to him, but I was still _glaring_ at Clay. This man always preaches about how important family is, but he doesn't give a shit about mine?

I noticed how close I was to the President too. We were almost nose to nose, blue eyes boiling with rage. Chibs tugged me back by my shoulders and Jax was pulling Clay back, the rest of the guys filling in the space to prevent us from attacking each other. I've never wanted to fight Clay a day in my life, but I wanted to bash his fucking head in right now.

 **"Either you get her talking or I will."** Clay spat and shrugged Jax's grip off his arm, stomping off to his bike with his son in tow.

 **"You good, Tiggy?"** The Scot asked and I stiffly nodded. His arm went over my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. **"He's just tryin' to end this war before it starts. Everyone's still emotional about yesterday, there's tension and testosterone built up. This is war is gonna make everyone a little screwy, but we're gonna handle it. We do need Tal though. She needs _you._ Let's get ya' back to her then, aye?"**

 **"Yeah."**

Chibs pat me on the back and we made our way over to our bikes. Clay and Jax were already far ahead of us, but I purposely hung back to keep some distance from the President. Maybe Chibs was right or maybe he was wrong. Either way, my main concern was Talia and this goddamn war wasn't going to change that.

When we pulled into TM, Gemma poked her head out of the office and watched us like always, but her brows furrowed when she saw Clay. He stalked into the connecting room and shut the door. The rest of us piled into the clubhouse and I heard Jax on the phone, probably talking to Tara. When we got to the bar, the boys crowded over there and it looked like Chuck restocked our liquor shelves. He and Juice just came out with more boxes and I pulled Juice to the side.

 **"She okay?"**

 **"I guess so, pretty quiet though. Nero came to see her and they were singing papers, probably stuff for their brothel. She's been in your room since he left and I've been helping Chuck, so I haven't bothered her. She really needs _you,_ man."**

 **"I know."** I lightly sighed. **"Thanks, Juice."**

He nodded and I pat him on the cheek where he had those scratches, making him wince a bit. He shot me a teasingly angry glare, but smirked before taking his box outside with Chuck following. Juice could use a boost of happiness too. He and Talia were practically connected and if she was down, I know he was too.

I took a reassuring breath before heading towards the dorms and to the door of mine. From the outside, I could hear muffled music, but I wasn't sure what song it was. It didn't really matter because that meant Talia was feeling better than she was yesterday. I wondered if she was singing and I pressed my ear to the door to listen for her voice, but I didn't hear it.

I tried the door knob and furrowed my brows when I felt the lock restricting the knob from turning. I unlocked it, but the door still refused to be opened and I guessed Talia was serious about not wanting to talk to me.

 **"Tal, open up. Please?"** I asked through the door with a light knock. **"C'mon, angel. Let me in. I wanna talk to you...alright, I won't come in, but at least open the door a crack...Talia?"**

Silence. I didn't hear her moving around in there or angrily muttering. She would've started cursing at me by now and I was expecting it because I knew she was pissed that I left her. She was never the type to give me the silent treatment over something serious, only small things. Something didn't feel right either. For Talia to be in a room with at least 450 of her favorite songs and she's not even humming was just _wrong_. It was impossible for her to keep quiet when she had her music.

Slightly worried, I started banging on the door and calling Talia in the most serious voice I had. She still didn't answer or yell at me to go away and that was making me more nervous. With all the noise I was making, I wasn't surprised when Chibs came back here and asked what was going on. I told him and he knocked, calling for her. There was still no answer and I didn't like this strange feeling anymore. I started kicking at the door and with the 3rd one, I heard something crack, but the door opened a slit. I couldn't see anything in my dark room, but Talia must've put a goddamn chair under the knob to keep us out.

Chibs started shoving the door with me and by now, the rest of the guys were watching from the end of the hall. It took another minute, but the chair finally gave in and so did the door, sending us flying to the floor when it opened. When Chibs sat up, he groaned and wiped at something on his cheek. It was smeared, but I could tell it was...blood.

And when I looked forward, I could've swore I heard the Devil laughing in my ears.

Talia was laying on the floor on her side. There was a dark pool of blood staining the carpet under her and her hair was covering her face. A bloody box-cutter was a few inches away from her hand, but I didn't know where the wound was and I don't think I wanted to. Panic mode was activated then. I was calling her, Chibs was calling the guys and everyone started freaking the fuck out. When I got Talia in my arms, her right arm was almost completely covered in blood and that had to be where he wound was. I grabbed the sheet on my bed and ripped it, wrapping it around her arm. The blood quickly seeped into the thin, white sheet and I kept ripping more stands to wrap around it.

Chibs was screaming at someone to go get the van started and I was trying to shake her awake, but she wouldn't open her eyes. I was shaking her and patting her cheeks, but she wouldn't respond. Jesus, she was so goddamn pale and she felt much too light in my arms. Chibs got me on my feet and everyone was still screaming as we rushed down the halls to the garage. The back doors to the van were opened and I didn't know who was driving, but I couldn't care. I jumped in with Chibs and the car sped off before he could close the doors.

Chibs was telling me to hand Talia over to him, but I didn't want to let her go. This was all my fault. If I wouldn't have left, if I would've stayed with her for 5 goddamn minutes, she wouldn't be dying in my arms.

 **"Tig!"** Chibs snapped and I looked at him, tears filling my eyes. **"I gotta see how bad the damage is. She's gonna bleed out before we get to the hospital if you don't let me see her."**

I nodded and reluctantly slid Talia into his arms. I didn't notice when he grabbed his first aid kit, but it was opened and at his side. Chibs peeled his leather off and put his head to her chest.

 **"She's hangin' on."** He reassured me and started unraveling the sheet. He wiped the blood off her arm to see her would and cursed when he did, banging on the side of the van. **"Hey! Step on it! Let's fuckin' go!"**

That meant something was wrong, I knew it did. I went to look at how bad the injury was, but Chibs didn't let me and he started covering it with the gauze packed in the kit. When the van screeched to a violent stop, almost sending all 3 of us through the goddamn roof, the back doors were yanked open and Juice was there. We all got out, blood on our hands and clothes, and rushed into the doors of St. Thomas. The people waiting gasped in shock or horror at the sight of us, but we were screaming at the receptionist to get us a goddamn doctor.

The noise was tripled when the rest of the guys got in here, but 4 doctors came with a stretcher and put Talia on it. They let us follow her through a pair of doors, but no further and we watched as she disappeared though the pristine halls. A nurse timidly approached us and led me and Chibs to a room to clean up, providing plain white t-shirts for us to change into.

When we got back into the hall, the Sons were in chairs, but Juice was missing. Before I could ask, he came down the hall and took a seat next to Opie.

 **"...I gave them her info...** **I got her some fake IDs after...that Jimmy stuff.** **"** He barely muttered with a voice that quivered with sadness. **"...I was there with her...I didn't know she in there dying..."**

 **"It's not your fault."** I tried, but he shook his head.

 **"I was supposed to be keeping an eye on her."** His voice cracked and the tears came rolling out. **"I-I thought she was okay. She ate and we talked and she told me she was sorry about scratching me. She hugged Chuck. She went outside with Nero and they talked. She was _smiling_ , man. You know how long it's been since she smiled? I thought she was feeling better..."**

Chibs went over to Juice and kneeled in front of him, telling him something I couldn't hear, but it made Juice cry more.

 **"Jax?"** We all looked down the hall to the voice and found Tara there with furrowed brows. She quickly came down the hall and hugged her husband. **"What's going on? Who's hurt?"**

 **"Tal just got rolled in."** Jax explained in a grave voice and Tara's face twisted in concern.

 **"Lacerations."** Chibs grumbled from his seat next to Juice. **"I saw 3, but there could've been more. She's lost a lot of blood again."**

 **"...I'll go see what I can do."** Tara looked at all of us and hugged Jax again before briskly strutting down the hall in the direction they took Talia.

And we waited in silence. Nobody got up to stretch their legs or to go get something from the vending machine or go to the bathroom. Everyone was rooted to their seat or their spot leaning on the wall and nobody looked at each other, but I glanced at everyone every few minutes. I noticed that Clay wasn't here and neither was Gemma.

 _Selfish bastard. He doesn't deserve her._

I stopped my spiteful thoughts before they got out of hand. Clay was being President and not family, so we were supposed to act accordingly, but I couldn't. Talia's done any and everything that man's asked her to since the day she came into Charming with Happy. He started bringing her along with Jax when he went out to do business and my wife's saved his ass more times than he can remember. She hunted down anyone he asked her to. She would put a bullet or a knife though the throat of any goddamn person and all he had to do was give her a name. Talia never asked for anything in return, never came back to ask Clay for something because he _owed_ her. He was in _deep_ debt to her, but she didn't think anything of it because she felt like she was paying _him_ back for taking her in.

Talia's told me time after time that she'd never ask Clay or the Club for anything in return for the things she did because she felt like she was working off her nonexistent debt. She felt like she owed her life to SAMCRO because we opened our doors to her, but she didn't. Happy was the only person she was obligated to and I knew he felt differently, but he wouldn't hold a debt over her head either.

For Clay to just flip and act like Talia hasn't bent over backwards for him, _personally,_ was striking a nerve with me. When we'd go on a rare visit to another charter, he'd brag about her and how loyal she was. He'd tell the Prospects to come to Charming to get in the ring with her and he'd be laughing his ass off when they didn't last 10 minutes. Hell, he was telling Alvarez that she could do some hits for him if he needed someone gone without a trace. All that was just a façade because he was acting like he couldn't give less of a shit about if she was having some kind of breakdown. He must've thought she was exactly like Happy, but she wasn't.

Happy's never had anyone and he's been on his own most his life, lived by his own cutthroat laws on the toughest, unforgiving streets. All he knows is killing and it's in his nature, but Talia didn't. She was a murderer by _influence_ , she didn't have much of a choice, and she was _taught_ how to be like her Dad. She's told me about her old childhood, as much as she could remember. She was a very shy kid, always hiding under her mother's skirt when someone would greet her. Her old life was quiet and calm and predicable, the rest of her life practically planned out. If Happy hadn't found her, if she hadn't been kidnapped, she would've grown into a demure woman with a _safe_ lifestyle. She wouldn't have experienced killing or how to maltreat someone or anything else that this desperado lifestyle brings. She wouldn't have ever been kidnapped _again_ or stabbed or used as a goddamn cash cow or any of that. Hell, I was guilty of using her too. She wouldn't have ever met me and we wouldn't have fell in love or made a family that was currently crumbling to pieces.

Honestly, after everything that's happened to her, I wished she never would've met me. None of this would've happened and she wouldn't be in this goddamn hospital right now.

The waiting was unbearable. I didn't know what they were doing to Talia or how bad her injury was. I knew Chibs wasn't going to tell me how bad it was, especially not now. He said she was hanging on and that was the slither of hope I was clinging on to. She was a fighter and she's been fighting almost all her life. She wouldn't give up, that wasn't something she could easily do. If she was able to give up when the going got tough, she would've been slaughtered when she went up to Russia because those commies were some hardcore sons of bitches. Those years she spent in Russia made her stronger and she came back home with an unbreakable layer that made her more mature, but it didn't take away her playfulness. Nothing could permanently change her...could it?

I noticed how Talia was when our boys came along. She seriously cut back on drinking and I can't remember the last time I saw her smoking. She didn't run off with Juice anymore and her temper was getting under control. I knew she was going to turn into a Mom and that must've taken over completely. I didn't know how important our little family was to her until a piece of it was gone.

 **"Is there a Joseph Barr here?"** My ears twitched at a woman's voice and everyone stood up, looking at her. The doctor had her brown hair pulled back in a neat ponytail and she had a clipboard in her hand, looking up from it to us.

 **"Yeah, that's me."** I stepped forward and glanced at Juice, mentally thanking him for getting Talia a fake ID.

 **"Mr. Barr, could you state your wife's full maiden name?"**

 **"No, he can't."** Juice spat and bolted from his seat to stand next to me. The doctor raised an eyebrow in question.

 **"And why can't he?"**

 **"Why? Um, because...he's got a little Dementia."** He spat and I rolled my eyes. Of all the goddamn things. I wasn't _that_ old. He stepped closer to the doctor and leaned in, probably about to whisper. **"He thinks we're here to visit his cousin's niece."**

 **"Well, it's a new protocol to have some kind of identification conformation. We've been getting a lot of runaways and convicts the last few months. If he can't tell me something about his wife, I can't let him see her."**

 **"If you give us her first name, he'll remember. His memory loss isn't too bad."**

 **"Emma."** The doctor said clearly and I blankly stared at her for a second, then acted as if I suddenly remembered.

 **"Emma? My sweet little Emmy? We going to see her?"**

 **"Mr. Barr, can you describe Emma for me?"**

 **"Yeah, sure. She's got black hair and the cutest little nose that wrinkles up when she giggles. And her eyes, oh. They're just beautiful. It's like looking into the Great Barrier Reef with the sun making them sparkle and that smile was Heaven sent. She's a little short, but she's not- I thought she was still in Canada."** I turned to Juice and poked him in the shoulder, scowling. **"You told me she was up North!"**

 **"Joey, calm down."** He put his hands up and I smacked them away, seeing him fight trying to smile. **  
**

 **"You told me she's been in Calgary the past 5 years! You've been sneaking around with my wife!?"**

 **"Mr. Barr."** The doctor interrupted and I looked to her. She looked very nervous. **"You can go see Emma now. She just woke up and she's in room 418. I'll take you there."**

 **"Emma who?"** I asked and the doctor's expression dropped to disbelief. **"** ** **Emma Bunton? She's here? The rest of the Spice Girls here too?** "**

After Juice explained who _Emma_ was again and me getting riled up because I thought he was sleeping around with her, the doctor led me down the halls to Talia's room.

 **"Is she alright?"** I asked. The doctor stopped in front of the room and sighed a little.

 **"Mr. Barr, your wife came in with 6 self-inflicted lacerations that came from a knife. We can't stitch the wounds, they have to heal on their own. We've** **applied antiseptic ointment to her injuries** **and** **wrapped her arm with Telfa gauze. The ointment and fresh bandages need to be reapplied daily to prevent infection."**

 **"Okay. Thank you."** I started to go past the doctor, but her hand went to my shoulder and gently pushed me back.

 **"Mr. Barr, your wife could've killed herself tonight. We had to put her on suicide watch, it's protocol."**

 **"And what happens to patients on suicide watch? Did you sedate her?"**

 **"If we have to, we will. We had to restrain her to her bed and there's a nurse watching her right now. You can sign her release papers at the front desk after your visit, but I strongly advise that she stay here under observation for another day or 2."**

 **"Get out of my way."** I growled and the woman stiffened, nodding before she scurried off.

I opened the door and the first thing I saw was Talia in a hospital gown, laying in bed. She looked like she was examining her arm and her other one was fastened to the metal safety railing of the bed. There was no IV pumping blood into her, so there wasn't a drastic amount of blood loss. She wasn't hooked up to a bunch of machines either, but there was something clipped on her finger to monitor her heartbeat and it was calmly beeping.

Once I stepped into the room, I saw the male nurse sitting in a chair in the corner. He got up and gave me a curt nod before leaving. I pulled the chair next to the bed and stared at Talia. .

 **"Talia?"** I softly called her and she lazily let her head loll to the side to stare back at me. She looked...okay now. Her skin wasn't almost porcelain like it was hours before and I was seeing that warm glow she's always had. How long was has that been gone? She must've gotten some well-deserved sleep because there weren't darkening crescents under her eyes anymore. She looked healthy again, normal even. She looked as vibrant as she did before Jayden died. **"Do you know where you are?"**

 **"St. Thomas."** She answered and her voice was light, but not happy or pleased; I nodded.

 **"You know why you're here?"** Without looking away from me, she raised her other arm and I saw the gauze wrapped around her entire forearm, but there was no blood staining it. She wiggled all her fingers as if testing to make sure they worked before she lowered her arm. Timidly, I put my hand over hers and she just blankly stared at me as I clutched her smaller hand. **"...why'd you do that to yourself?"**

 **"Who found me?"** She disregarded my question and I sighed.

 **"I did, me and Chibs. When we came back to the clubhouse, I wanted to talk to you like I said, but you didn't open the door and I got worried. Me and Chibs kicked it down and he got the bleeding under control until we got here."**

 **"Why would you do that?"** She asked and her eyes narrowed, confusing me. Her tone was cold and void of any affection. **"Why wouldn't you just go away?"**

 **"Talia-"**

 **"You should've left me there!"** She snapped and snatched her hand from under mine as far as the restraint would let it go. I was already shocked by her reaction, but the fire in her eyes really made me cringe. I heard the machine start to rapidly beep and I knew a nurse would be in here if she got too riled up.

 **"I couldn't-"**

 **"Do you want me to be happy?"** She asked and her tone was suddenly light again, her eyes clear of fury.

 **"Of course I do, more than anything."**

 **"And you would do anything to make me happy?"**

 **"Yes."**

 **"Then get me out of here."**

 **"The doctor said you should stay here for observation for another day or 2. They wanna make sure you're alright."**

 **"Did Tara fix me?"**

 **"No."**

 **"I don't want anyone else touching me or drugging me unless it's her. I don't know these people and I don't want to be here."**

 **"Talia, these doctors are professionals, they're not going to hurt you. This isn't Tara's-."**

 **"I knew you didn't care."** She dismissed and turned on her side, her back to me.

The coldness I felt wasn't due to the chilling room, it was coming from her. This was the second time she's said I didn't care about her and I was trying to understand why the hell she'd think that. I _loved her_ with everything I had and I knew she knew that. She hasn't called me out on it, so she had to believe it...right?

Talia was on an emotional roller coaster right now. One minute, she's somewhat okay and seeming to be getting better, then she's raging and trying to kill someone or hurt herself. I had to wonder if any of this was connected to that mental hospital she was in before she came to Charming. Happy didn't explain much of it to us, but he said she was in there at one point and he told us what she was diagnosed with. He told us how he's waken up in the middle of the night because she was screaming bloody murder and thinking she was back in that nuthouse. She wasn't freaking out when I came to bed with her, she was very still, and that was a little odd. Talia and I always end up tangled up with each other when we go to sleep, but she was in the same, stiff position I saw her in before I closed my eyes.

At least I understood why she didn't want to be in this hospital anymore. Old memories were probably starting to resurface and she didn't want to remember any of that madness. Keeping her here wouldn't be good for whatever state her mind's in, but they could probably help her here. She wouldn't be welcoming to their aid and she'd probably cause more trouble, but they'd try to get her right again. Getting out of here would make her happy and that;s all I wanted because that's what she needed. She said she wanted Tara to be the one doing any and all medical practices on her because she trusted her. I'm sure Tara wouldn't mind taking care of her and I think spending time with another woman would do her some good because she didn't need to be alone again. Gemma said Talia doesn't talk to her anymore and as much as she didn't want to, she stopped trying, but she _did not_ give up on her. Maybe she could try again. Taking Talia out of here and surrounding her with her loving family would do her some good.

With my decision made, I attempted to tell Talia, but thought against it. She'd probably be happier after I did it because it seemed actions were doing more for her than words. With that in mind, I put my hand on her shoulder and kissed the side of her face before leaving the room. When I got into the hallway, all the Sons got to their feet and I noticed Gemma was here. When she came to hug me, I saw Clay further down the hall and he was leaning on the wall with Jax across from him.

 **"Is she okay? Please tell me my baby's alright."** Gemma pleaded and I pulled away from her to see her glossy eyes.

 **"She got hurt, but she's fine. I don't think she needed a blood transfusion. She wants to go home, so I'm gonna sign her out."** Gemma sighed in relief and asked if she could go see Talia. I told her which room she was in and she quickly went down the halls. I set my eyes on Jax and he nodded. **"You think Tara can take off for a few days?"**

 **"For Tal? Of course. She already wanted to. She's getting her stuff now."** I nodded in thanks and started making my way to the front desk to fill out Talia's release papers.

Once that was done, I peeked into to Talia's room and Gemma was still in there with her. She was in bed with Talia and she was dressed in her jeans with a plain t-shirt. Gem had her wrapped in her arms like a child cuddling their mother. Talia's head was on Gem's chest and our matriarch was stroking her black hair as my wife absently stared into nothing. Her eyes were actually on me, but I doubted she knew I was watching them.

 **"You're gonna be okay, baby."** Gemma whispered into the top of Talia's hair and kissed her head. **"I won't loose you too."**

I tapped on the door and Gemma looked at me, a small smile tugging at her lips. She rubbed Talia's shoulder and told her we were going home. They untangled themselves and as soon as Gemma was on her feet, Talia was clutching her hand for dear life. She followed closely behind Gemma as they walked out and I was behind them, observing how Talia reacted around the older woman. When we got to the Sons again, they all smiled at Talia, but she didn't even look at them and we left St. Thomas.

Gemma's Cadillac was parked right out front and the women got in while we mounted our bikes. I saw Jax waiting at the doors and Tara came out, taking his hand. I almost forgot about Clay until he walked in front of my bike to get to his own, but I didn't make eye contact with him. Everyone pulled off after he did, but Chibs stayed back and asked if I was alright. I told him I just wanted to hang back and he nodded before taking off.

Before I could put my keys in the ignition, I heard a metal rattling and looked to my left. A woman was at the trio of vending machines and crouched in front of one. She was digging in the slot and I heard her sigh when she didn't find any leftovers in there. When she stood, the light from the machine let me see her dirty face and grimy clothes.

I took my keys out and made my way over to the woman as she started digging into the next machine.

 **"You hungry?"** I asked and got her attention. She quickly stood up and probably thought she was about to be told to fuck off, but she relaxed when I pulled a few stray dollars from my pockets. **"I know it's not much, but It'll get you something."**

I had 4 crumpled dollars in my hand and I held them out to her, but she didn't take a step towards me. Hell, it looked like she was scowling at me from her narrowed eyes and furrowed eyebrows. What the hell did I do? I was trying to help, be _nice_ for a change. I didn't insult her or tell her she had to give me _something_ in return for some petty cash.

 **"** **The longer you keep her, the more you hurt her."** The woman spat through clenched teeth and tightly crossed her arms over her chest, confusing me even more **"She wants to leave, she _needs_ to. It's her time."**

 **"What the hell are you talking about?"**

 **"Let her _go._ " **The woman demanded and turned on her heel. She went to the last machine and took a stroller from its side, starting to walk off. She only looked back once and she was still glowering at me for some unknown reason.

Still in the dark, I stuffed the loose change back in my pocket and kept looking back as I mounted my bike, but the woman was out of sight. For the entire ride to the clubhouse, I kept thinking about what that woman said and I was trying to make sense of it, but I didn't know what the hell she meant. Maybe she was just one of those crazy homeless people that ramble to anyone that gives them the slightest attention.

I wasn't surprised when most of the guy's bikes weren't parked along the rail and was a little happy to see that Clay's bike was gone. Juice and Jax's rides were here, so they were sticking around and I wondered if Gemma was too because I didn't spot her car. I went into the clubhouse and saw Juice at the bar with a bottle out, his head down. I pat him on the back and he grunted, lifting his glass, but not his head.

I went back to the dorms and was greeted with the muffled moans of Jax and Tara coming down the hall. I had to roll my eyes at them, but I could relate to it. They were still in their honeymoon phase. I went into my room and Talia was in my bed again, sleeping this time. Gemma was at the foot of it and already had the bloodstain lifted from the carpet. She just dropped her scrub brush into a bucket that was filled with other chemicals and cringed at the light clatter, looking at Talia. She didn't move or flinch.

Gemma sighed a little as she got up and she went to the side of the bed to kiss Talia on her head. When she was coming to leave, she noticed me and we both stared at my wife for a second.

 **"She's broken, Tigger."** She said softly. **"Ain't nothin' more dangerous and heart-breaking than a broken woman. And for _Talia_ to be shattered like this? Something's not clicking with her."**

 **"...what am I supposed to do?"** I asked and she turned to me upon hearing the desperate tone my voice held, tears building in my eyes. **"I don't know what to do anymore, Gem. It's like she's a new person and she won't let me in anymore. She doesn't _want_ me anymore."**

 **"She loves you, honey."** Gem cooed. **"You've gotta remember that. She fell for you and she fell hard. She's in a real dark place right now, but she will never stop loving you and I think you can bring her back. You gave her everything she always wanted and she gave you twice as much. What you need to do is _be there_ for her, no more running away. She's just like Juice, can't leave him alone because he starts thinking and that takes him to a very dark place in his mind. She talks when you're around, she misses you. Just be there, okay?"**

I nodded and sniffled, my attempts to keep the tears at bay proven to be futile because they were steadily poring out. Gemma set the bucket down and pulled me into a hug, letting me cry into her shoulder.

I looked at Talia through my watery eyes and remembered her smiling face every time we were in that bed. I'd get that smile back and I'd get her back to normal. I needed her love before and she gave it to me. It was my turn to give her something back.


	31. Chapter 31

**X~Tig~X**

I didn't go to sleep last night. From all the stakeouts I've been on, going a night without sleep wasn't unbearable and I had something that kept my undivided attention. Talia. After my talk with Gemma, I dragged the recliner to the side of the bed, took my shoes and leather off and just watched her sleeping form. I used to do this before, back when we were sneaking around.

On the nights that I could stay at her house because Happy was doing his Nomad business upstate or out getting laid, I would watch Talia when she was sleeping because she looked so at ease and comfortable. When I was around, she was almost always smiling or blushing and there was a sparkle in those gems she had for eyes, but when she was sleeping, it was different. She was unguarded and relaxed and I took pride in the fact that she never looked so tranquil when she was with Juice, stoned or not. She trusted me and I made her feel safe, but it only _truly_ showed when her brain was shut off and she didn't have to self-consciously think about everything she did.

For the first time in hours, I took my eyes off my wife and looked to the clock on the nightstand. It was almost 8am and it was Wednesday. Austin was probably walking to school by now and Gemma was making breakfast for Jessica. My baby girl was probably as fat as a pig by now because Gemma swears she's malnourished. I noticed how long its been since my kids saw their Mother or myself. I'm sure Jessica missed Mama and Dada, but Austin probably couldn't give less of a damn about where the hell _I_ was. As much as he refused to come anywhere near the clubhouse, I know he'd be knocking down every goddamn door to find his Mother. Since he hasn't shown up here, he's been in contact with Talia because he still would've come if Juice or Gemma told him that she was okay.

Reluctantly, I got out of the recliner and took a minute to stretch out my stiff limbs. I quietly crept to the door and cracked it to hear if Talia moved. I took my cell out and scrolled through the contacts until Austin's name came up. My thumb hovered over the call button and I hesitated. I'm sure it'd be easier for both of us if I just sent him a text because I knew he'd respond to that. He lets my calls go to voicemail half the time.

I sighed, sucked up my trepidation and pushed the green symbol. The line rang 3 times and I was about to hang up, but Austin actually _answered._

 _ **"...yeah?"**_ He grumbled in a tired voice and it sounded like his face was in something. _**"Hello?"**_

 **"Hey, Aus...it's me...your Dad."**

 _ **"Yeah, I know. There's this amazing thing called Caller ID."**_ He cleared his throat and I heard him groan. His snide remarks used to get under my skin, but I wasn't going to get worked up about his shitty tone today. _**"Do you want something?"**_

 **"Just checking in. Your Mom and I haven't been home in a while and I didn't want you to think we ran off or something."**

 _ **"I know what's going on. I talked to Mom the other day, she's gone."**_

 **"What?"**

 _ **"She. Left. Charming."**_ He repeated in a clear tone. _ **"She said her job called her outta town. Have you not talked to her?"**_

 **"No, I have, I just..."** I trailed off, thinking. Why would Talia tell him she's out on a job? She quit doing all those violent things and she wouldn't have had the chance to leave Charming without someone noticing. **"How's Jessica?"**

Austin didn't answer and his end was silent, making me think he hung up on me. The light shuffling and his soft cursing after I heard a thump made me think otherwise.

 _ **"Say hi, Jessie."**_

 _ **"Hi."**_ I smiled at my daughter's voice and she kept saying 'hi', but she was experimenting with the pitches of her voice.

 **"Good morning, princess. It's Daddy."**

 _ **"...Da-Da! Da-Da!"**_ She shrieked in pure joy and from her clapping, I could picture exactly what she was doing right now.

I didn't know if Austin was holding her or not, but I think she was sitting down and she had that darling smile on her face that showed those tiny twin teeth. Her hair was probably a mess and she most likely had her breakfast smeared on her face. Jessica babbled to me for a minute, but I could understand her attempts at words better than before and I hated that I was missing out on her growth.

When I heard Austin laugh, I realized how foreign it sounded because he hasn't laughed in forever, but it was like mine, almost a replica. He asked Jessica if he could have his phone back and I heard her trying to say 'phone' with a lot of emphasis on the 'F'.

 ** _"Nobody, just Tig."_** Austin said and I heard another distant voice in the background, but I didn't ignore the chill that coated my heart when he regarded me.  
 ** _"I think the Wonder Pets are on now, she likes that, but you gotta sing the theme song with her...she starts crying when she sees Caillou. No, don't put Dora on! She'll pitch a fit...she's in love with you, how could she hate Mexicans?"_**

 **"Who's that?"** I asked and I could practically feel Austin roll his eyes.

 _ **"Felix. He made Jessie breakfast and they're watching Noggin with Kip."**_

 **"What the hell is he doing in my house?"**

 _ **"We're not in**_ **your** _ **house."**_

 **"Then where the hell are you and why aren't you in school? And why the hell are you with Felix?"**

 _ **"Why do you care?"**_

 **"Austin-"**

 **"** ** _Mom knows where we are and she's cool with Felix being with us. If she didn't tell you what's going on, then you don't need to know. She's probably trying to get us away from you and that destructive gang before somebody else gets killed. I hope we don't come back."_**

 **"Austin Gabriel Trager, tell me where you are** ** _now."_**

 ** _"Bite me."_** He scoffed and the line clicked, telling me he hung up. I knew teenagers were a handful, but that goddamn kid was something else.

I was tempted to call back, but I had a feeling Austin had my number on the reject list by now and he wouldn't answer unless Talia called him. I needed to know what the hell was going on with my kids though. Granted, I haven't been up to date on what he's been doing, but Austin works his ass off in school and he doesn't miss a day anymore. When his brother was still around, they'd play hooky on Fridays, but it wasn't frequent and Austin never fell behind or let his grades drop. The kid could probably teach his class a few lessons better than his teacher could. He was graduating early because of his ambition and I wasn't sure what the status on his SEAL plans were, but I'm pretty sure he's getting accepted. All he has to do is wait for his 18th birthday, but that didn't mean he couldn't get shipped off for training.

I really wanted to know where the hell Austin was with Jessica because he made it clear that they weren't home. He's been trying to keep his sister distanced from me, but he wouldn't runaway with her with no money to provide the things she needed. He didn't have anywhere to run to anyway. Felix was with them and after our last encounter, I know he wouldn't tell me about _my kids_ if I had the chance to ask him. I didn't want him around Austin though, I never did, but Talia let him get close to our boys. Jayden wasn't as fond of Felix as Austin was, but he didn't hate the guy. Simply put, he didn't like the Mexican because I didn't. Austin probably liked Felix because he knew I deplored that man.

I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and quietly stepped back into my room. I immediately noticed that Talia wasn't in bed and I wondered if she heard me on the phone with her son. The only place she could've gone was to the bathroom, so I went to the door and poked my head in. She was sitting on the sink and was starting to unwrap her bandaged arm. When the bloodstained gauze fell to the tiled floor and her skin was bared, I got to see those painful, horizontal gouges going down her arm until they stopped just before her chelidon. They were still raw and red, but they looked like they were already starting to heal. It was probably due to whatever ointment the doctors used and I'd have to ask Tara what to put on them.

Talia brought her arm up to her eyes and seemed to be scanning her injuries...her _self-inflicted_ injuries, I remembered. I had to wonder how low she was feeling to hurt herself like that. She ran her fingers over the slices and just stared at them.

 **"Tal?"** I quietly called, but she didn't look at me. A sudden wave of nervousness washed over me and I was skeptical about getting closer to her. I felt like I'd be intruding, like a tiny animal stepping into the lion's den. Timidly, I took a half-step into the bathroom and she still didn't take her eyes off her arm. **"...does your arm hurt?"**

 **"No."** She answered simply and lightly, just like at the hospital. She was probably lying about that though. I knew those things had to be stinging a little.

 **"That's good...um, are you feeling okay today?"**

 **"Depends on your definition of 'okay'."**

 **"Nor- uh, regular, just fine."**

 **"...yes."** She said and I didn't expect her to respond that way. **"I feel very _normal_ right now. Do you feel normal?"**

 **"Yeah, I'm alright."** She shortly hummed and slightly twisted her arm, getting a good view of the cuts. I took another step closer and she still didn't look at me, so I took more baby steps until I was right in front of her. The sunlight from the window was shining in the room and she looked like she was glowing with a heavenly gleam. She let me hold her arm and I wanted to touch her face, but I didn't want to push it. I could see the hue of her beautiful eyes from this angle and I could smell her, but I didn't breathe her in. She smelled like that ointment, like wood and old books. **"Tara's here. She's gonna stay with you and take care of your arm. You still haven't told me why you did this in the first place..."**

 **"She's pregnant."** Talia stated and it half sounded like a question. She finally looked at me and those sea-green eyes were still stunning, they still made my hear skip a beat, but something wasn't right in them. When she'd look at me for the first time of the day, she'd have this... _look._ It was beatific and it just said 'I love you', but it wasn't there anymore. **"Do you think she'll have a boy or a girl?"**

 **"I'm not sure."** I answered truthfully, but my eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. She wasn't acting this way last night and less than 10 hours later, she's having a casual chat with me? Gemma did say she was broken, shattered actually. Maybe that's why she's been so emotional. She could still be high off whatever drugs she was given at the hospital too. **"...Tal, what's...what's going on with you, angel? What's not clicking anymore?"**

 **"I think she'll have a girl."** She said and that blank, almost hypnotized, look was in her eyes again. **"Jax wants a boy, Gemma and Clay want a boy, so it's gonna be a girl. I think she'll have Jax's hair and Tara's eyes. She'll have a delicate name too, maybe Chlo** **é or Isabella. If it's a boy, I think he'll look like John."**

 **"Talia, why did your hurt yourself yesterday?"**

 **"And I think they're gonna get divorced before that child is 10."** She continued. **"Gemma was right, Tara isn't made for this life and after what happened, I think she's already starting to regret marrying Jax. The illusion is over, she's not blinded by teenage romance anymore and she's seen Jax for what he's turned into. She wasn't meant to be with a Son, she was meant to be with the old Jax and I think he's been sneaking around on her. She won't get an abortion, not again, but she won't want her baby to be raised by the Club. That'll be Gemma's first blood-related grandchild and Jax's firstborn. They'll expect it to be a Son or an Old Lady, they won't give it a choice."**

 **"Tara got an abortion before?"** I asked, dumbfounded. **"When did-"**

 **"He had a choice. I made sure he did..."** She muttered. **"They both did and he picked the one I prayed he'd stay away from. He had so many other paths to choose and he picked the wrong one, after I tried to lead him away. That's your fault, you know, he loved you too much and I never understood why."**

Talia's eyes were unveiled then and her pupils dilated a bit, but there were too many things raging behind those orbs. Fury, pain, angst, despair, _loathing._ I didn't know if one or all of them were for me.

 **"Tal...Jayden is gone."** I said in a clear, nonthreatening voice. **"I know it hurts, but there's nothing we can do about it."**

 **"Is that what you said to Fawn when you told her that Dawn is dead because of you and this Club?"** She spat and the shield was up again, cold eyes chilling me to the bone. **"Why don't you care about all the gifts you've been given, about all your children? You messed up with your daughters and I felt like I had to give you a second chance to be a Dad because I thought you'd be a good one. I was wrong. You were only Dad when you wanted to be."**

 **"You started a family with me out of pity?"**

 **"I did a lot of things for you out of pity."** She admitted. **  
**

 **"...did you marry me out of pity?"**

 **"No."** She sighed and I was a bit relieved, but still crushed by how relaxed she was when she was tearing my heart out. **"That was my own fault, just like it was my own fault for loving you. We were the same, 2 broken people thinking they could heal each other with the love they never got. You healed and I did too, but not fully and I knew I never would.** **I'm damaged goods and I always will be, nothing can ever change that.** **Happy couldn't fix me, Gemma couldn't and I don't know why I thought you or our children could. That was partially my fault too, never being able to say 'No' to you."**

Talia sighed again and it sounded like she was _bored_ this time. She just told me that almost everything she did, practically our entire relationship, was based off her feeling _sympathetic_ towards my fucked up life. She thought I was alone and loveless and she wanted to make me feel better. Feelings developed along the way and I wondered if that was part of her plan, if she thought she'd actually start loving me. Then I wondered if she still loved me...she didn't say it back when I told her I loved her and she always did. It was never forced or automatic. She'd look me in the eyes, smile and tell me she loved me.

 **"Do you still love me?"** I asked and cringed when she turned her head away from me. **"Talia, please...tell me."**

 **"That's another fucked up thing."** She said, still looking away from me. **"After everything, I try not to think about how much I do. I asked myself that question and tried to convince myself that I didn't, but I couldn't. What a beautiful mess we've created."**

I guess that was better than her saying she didn't love me anymore or that she _never_ loved me, but the pain was unreal. This is one of the reasons why I've been staying away from her too. I knew she'd start telling me things like this, stuff that would make me push her away, and I was trying to prevent that. I didn't want her to leave and I wasn't going to make her. When we first got together, I knew she was an unbalanced person and I could admit that because she was disturbed was one of the main reasons I wanted her so badly. I wanted to get her hooked on me to see how she'd react, if she'd get crazier because someone who was like her, who was fucked in the head, gave her love.

My very first intentions for Talia were the same as the rest of the guys. Bang the cute _young_ face and keep her around until one of us gets bored. To say I went off track was an understatement. I flew off the railroad and morphed into a goddamn jet plane. Love wasn't in my initial plans because I told myself that I wasn't going to find someone to love me because they wouldn't see past the bloodstained exterior and they'd be afraid of me. Talia has never looked at me with fear in her eyes and other than Happy, she's probably the only person who seemed fearless when she looked at me. Hell, I've seen Clay look like he was close to shitting himself when he looked at me and I knew as much as he trusted me, he feared me too.

Talia's touch made me look at her again and her hand was on my chest. Her small palm slowly trailed up until it finally touched skin and I could feel the goosebumps rising on my neck.

 **"When was the last time you loved me?"** She asked and there was another change in her mood. Her voice was soft and lustful, her eyes seductive. Her hands cupped my cheeks and for a moment, I almost gave in to what she obviously wanted to do.

I thought back to that day we were in this exact spot and we barely started when Chibs dragged me away. I remembered those beautiful sounds she made and how lecherous she looked when we were making love. Those faces were what sent me over every time and I had to _train_ myself to go longer for her release because I would've been done 10 minutes in.

But I wasn't about to give into this. Talia didn't need that level of intimacy right now because it wouldn't do anything to help her. Gemma told me to just be there for her and I think I was doing pretty good so far, but we didn't need to have sex with her mind being in the vulnerable state it was in. The last thing I wanted was for her to start crying or worse, she'd snap on me and get violent.

 **"No, Tal. We're not doing this."** Christ, it took so much for me to push her away, literally. She was kissing my neck and her hands were snaking down to my belt, but I stepped back because I didn't want to hurt her arm by touching it the wrong way.

Talia looked _utterly_ disappointed and a little angry, but shocked too. She was probably expecting me to give in and I was surprised at myself for being able to resist her intentions.

 **"What's wrong?"** She asked and blinked a few times. **"Is it me? Am I not attractive to you anymore?"**

 **"Tal, you're beautiful and you know that."**

 **"It's you then? Are you not..."** She glanced down, then back at my eyes and I wanted to scoff at what she thought was the problem. Christ Almighty, I'm not _that_ _old._

 **"There's nothing wrong with me."  
**

 **"What's the problem then?"**

 ** _"This_ is the problem."** I gently took her arm and showed her the gouges in her flesh. **"Talk to me, Talia. I know you want me to help you, but I can't read your mind, angel. You gotta tell** **me what's going on in your head."**

I stared at Talia and she did the same to me with an unblinking gaze. I couldn't describe what was in her eyes this time, but I don't think it was good and I was pretty sure I struck a nerve because it looked like she was trying _not_ to narrow her eyes at me. In another situation, I would've thought that was cute because she always did that when she was upset and it reminded me of her seemingly eternal youth.

 **"I think it's time for Tara to put the ointment my arm."** She said flatly.

 _Don't push her. She's making progress and it's gonna take time, just be patient._

I nodded. I held my hand out to slide her off the sink and she just stared for a second, but took it and let me help her down. We went back into my room and she sat on the edge of my bed, waiting.

I didn't want to go against Gemma's advice and it felt like I was walking out on her, but I had to go get Tara. Still, I kept looking back at Talia until I was out of my room and I went down 4 doors until I got to Jax's dorm. I knew better than to just barge in there after what I heard them doing last night, so I knocked. When I didn't get an answer, I cracked the door open and saw Jax on his stomach in bed, but Tara was missing. The door to his bathroom was opened, but there weren't any sounds coming out of the room, so Tara was moving about.

I shut the door, checked on Talia again and went out to the bar. Juice didn't move from the spot he was in last night, but he was laying on the bar and Tara was at his side with a rag on his forehead. He groaned and I think I heard his stomach grumble from here. It sounded like a goddamn whale.

 **"Don't complain."** She said with a smile. **"You're lucky you're liver hasn't imploded or disintegrated. A whole bottle of whiskey and a half bottle of Gin? Really, Juice?"**

 **"Sorry, _Mom."_** Juice quipped and Tara lightly scoffed, giggling when he poked her in the stomach. **"How far along are you anyway?"**

 **"2 months, found out when I was 3 weeks. I don't know why I kept it a secret. I guess I was just waiting for the right time to tell Jax and preparing myself for Gemma to cast her opinion."** By the end of her sentence, Tara's voice went from chirpy to deadpan and mentioning Gemma had to be the cause of it.

 **"A baby's gonna be good for him, you know? And don't worry about Gem, she'll have to like you 'cause you gave her a grandkid."** Juice half-slurred and Tara giggled again. **"Hey...can you...are-are you gonna fix her...fix Tal? I just...I want my kid sister back..."**

 **"I don't know if I can."** Her voice dropped to a sad whisper. **"From what Jax told me, she's on an unpredictable, impulsive pattern of emotions that make her violent and it might have something to do with her time at Nightingale. She wasn't properly treated and maybe those disorders are coming back. I'm not a psychiatrist, Juice, I can't just give her a pill to make her okay. Whatever she's going through, it's emotionally and mentally traumatizing. She's in a _very delicate_ state and everyone around her needs to be careful about what they do or say." **

**"She's not crazy, Tara."** Juice defended and started to sit up, but Tara tried to push him back down. He sat up anyway and still was pressing the cloth to his head.

 **"I never said she was crazy and that's a loaded word."**

 **"She's just hurting. Talia doesn't know what pain is. Happy _made_ her forget what it felt like to be scared and what agony feels like."**

 **"Maybe he's the root of her problem."**

 **"He _saved_** **her."** Juice fiercely snapped and Tara stiffened. **"Okay, maybe he went a little too far with the torture and killing, but if it wasn't for him, she wouldn't be here right now. And Tig saved her too. He loved her and he still loves her and all of us do too. _That's_ what she always needed, a family. Hers was ripped away from her and it happened again."**

 **"I can only do so much."** Tara ended that conversation and Juice didn't seem to pleased with it because he scoffed and slid off the bar. **"You shouldn't be up."  
**

 **"Don't worry, I'll listen to the _good doctor's_ orders and go to bed." **He was a bit unsteady on his feet, but he made his way back here and he stopped to look at me for a second before continuing down the hall. Tara noticed me watching and gave me a small smile.

 **"He's just worried about her."** I tried and she nodded. **"Talia's awake, she just asked for you. She took her bandages off, guess they were itching."**

 **"I've got everything in my bag. She should eat breakfast though. Could you bring her something?"** I nodded and took her medical bag off the bar. When she passed me, she pat me on the shoulder and I went into the kitchen.

We weren't as stocked with food as I hoped. We were always stocked on cereal, but the milk in the fridge was spoiled and there wasn't any pancake mix. The coffee in the pot looked like its been sitting for a few days and we didn't have any more to make a new batch. I was surprised that Bobby didn't drop off some of his muffins because Talia loved them. We had eggs though. As strange as it was, I never knew if she liked eggs because she never made them for herself, but all of our kids have fed them to her when they were learning to eat solids. That was better than nothing and I made her a plate of eggs like she made mine: with cheese, salt, pepper and a bit of ketchup. I tried not to think about how our boys liked them the same way.

When I was coming out of the kitchen, I was tempted to go looking for Gemma because after last night, Talia seemed calm around her and I wanted to keep her in a soothed mood for as long as I could. I figured she was home with King Asshole, but I'd call her later if she wasn't already here. When I got down the hall again, the first thing I noticed was Jax's voice and I knew he was up now, but it sounded like he was in my room. When I got there, passing Juice's dorm and seeing him passed out on the floor, my assumption was right.

Jax was in here with Tara and Talia. The girls were standing in front of the bed and Talia was behind Tara, her head on the doctor's shoulder. I didn't know what they were fussing about until I stepped in and saw Jax's extended arm with his tightly clutched pistol aimed at the women. More accurately, it was perfectly aimed on the center of Talia's head.

 **"Jax, please."** Tara pleaded with a shaky voice, tears falling from her eyes. **"Don't do this."**

 **"She's fucking crazy, Tara. She's trying to kill our kid."**

 **"You don't deserve her, Jax."** Talia hissed and I fully stepped into the room. I cringed when I saw that Talia had a scalpel tightly gripped in her hand and had the small knife on Tara's stomach. There was gauze loosely hanging on her arm, that was coiled under Tara's chest, and I had to guess that she suddenly snapped while Tara was changing the dressing for her arm. **"You're not the man she fell in love with. You've got blood on your hands and you've been trying to get her hands dirty to feel better about yourself."**

 **"Let her go, Talia."** Jax growled though his clenched teeth and glanced at me, but didn't lower his gun.

 **"Or what? You'll shoot me? You don't have it in you, Jax. You're weak."**

 **"Don't listen to her, just go! She's trying to-"** Tara yelped and Talia clamped her hand over her mouth, hushing her sobs.

 **"Let her go!"** Jax snapped and Talia smiled at him.

 **"Someone has your _precious wife_ and _unborn child_ in a deadly situation, yet you're not man enough to eliminate the 'fucking crazy' threat." **Tara screamed something that was nothing more than a muffled protest, but it didn't do anything except make Jax more defensive. **"You're thinking about everything, aren't you? You're thinking about all the time we've spent together, everything I've done for you and how much you care about me, right?"**

 **"Enough!"**

 **"You're weak, Jackson!"** Talia spat. I dropped the plate when I heard his pistol click and had my gun out, aimed on the side of his head. **"You're letting petty feelings control you!** **Prove that you're a man that would do anything for the woman he loves! If you really loved her, you'd pull the trigger and save her!"  
**

 **"Jax, put the gun down."** I tried in the calmest voice I could muster in this situation. **"We can settle this in a different way, not like this. You know she's hasn't been herself lately. Just put the gun down, brother."**

 **"She's gonna kill my kid!"** Jax barked. **"She's gonna hurt Tara!"**

 **"Not anywhere as much as you've hurt her."** Talia said with a sickly evil chuckle. **"Remember when you told me that JT was weak? I guess his cowardice got passed down to you because you're a pathetic brat, Jackson! You wear that patch and act like you're hot shit, but you're just a snot-nosed Prince that's been attached to his Mother's tit for too long! You're not a man!"**

She rolled Tara's blue shirt up until her navel was exposed and I saw the doctor start to tremble as she traced the scalpel around her stomach.

 **"I swear to fucking God, I will shoot you, Talia!"** Jax barked.

 **"I almost put a bullet in your head,** **Jackson! Y** **ou think I won't fucking gut her?!"**

 **"Tal, look at me!"** I pleaded and she did. Her eyes were hard and full of an immoral darkness that I've never seen before, but I had her attention. **"Please, Talia. Put the scalpel down and let Tara go. Both of you are gonna get hurt if you don't."**

Talia kept staring at me and I couldn't avoid the 'goodbye' that was screaming in her stone eyes. She couldn't go out this way, not so violent and bloody like this, not by the hand of a man she once considered family. She never took those beautiful orbs off me, but her hand left Tara's mouth and the doctor screamed.

I didn't know if Talia cut her or if Tara was just afraid because I heard and I heard a scream, then gunshots before I saw blackness, but I didn't know who's it was.

* * *

 _3 guns and 1 goes off_  
 _One's empty, one's not quick enough_  
 _One burn, one red, one grin_  
 _Search the graves while the camera spins_


	32. L'appel du vide

**I got inspired to add a soundtrack for this chapter and it starts with _I'll Just Wait_ by Emarosa, then transitions to _The Fire Down Below_ by Slaves**

* * *

 **X~Tig~X**

I still didn't believe what happened. It was too quick, too much chaos for one moment.

When Tara screamed, everything just went too fast for me to understand and it wasn't until I shook the black spots from my head did I put the pieces together. Talia didn't hurt Tara in the slightest bit. She didn't plunge that scalpel into Tara's stomach and kill her unborn child. She didn't slice a piece of her skin off or anything gruesome like that. Tara screamed because Talia _made_ her do it, but she didn't hurt the doctor and it wasn't a cry for help. It was a shriek of sadness because she knew what was going to happen.

Talia said something to Tara before she yelped. I don't know what it was, but it made Tara start crying and provoked that shout. As expected, Jax was going to pull the trigger, but I saw his irresolution, the _pain_ in his eyes. The decision he made wasn't an easy one and it wasn't off the top of his head. He _hesitated_ and proved Talia right. He was thinking about their history and the bond they had. Jax and Talia were like brother and sister, but their bond was different from the one she had with Juice. With Jax, it was always playful arguing that turned into fighting or little competitions to see who was better or who Gemma loved more, which was a lost cause because Gemma loved them both equally.

It all started when Happy brought Talia to Charming and we were helping move them into their house. Everyone was taking boxes off the moving truck and into the bungalow. She didn't meet Jax the night before, so he was a new face to her. She came out of the house and told everyone to stop touching everything because there was a certain box with _extremely delicate_ contents inside it. Apparently, the box was filled with paraphernalia autographed by Kurt Cobain and Happy knew how much it meant to her, so we followed his lead by standing still and letting Talia search for what she wanted. Jax was the only one still in the truck and he was tossing a box up in the air. That was the first day Talia met VP and the first time Jax got punched in the nuts by SAMCRO's princess. From there, their sibling rivalry only got worse and they just got closer.

But in that moment, after Jax thought about which woman was more important to him, he ignored their history. He fired, the women fell and I barely teased the trigger of my pistol before I was blacking out. Turns out, Clay had come to the clubhouse and heard all the commotion, thought I was attacking his son, so he took me down. Somehow, Juice managed to get in here too and he managed to alter Jax's aim by _that much_ and it saved the girls.

But irony is one spiteful bitch because the same thing Talia did to Jax happened to her. A bullet to the temple that scraped the muscle hard enough for her to be rendered unconscious.

Right now, I was sitting at the bar and getting my head examined by Chibs because I banged my head pretty hard on the door when I was tackled by the President. Clay called all the guys here, briefed them on what happened and let Jax take Tara to St. Thomas, but she wasn't scared anymore. She was as pissed off as a woman could be. She was fighting Jax the entire time he was dragging her outside and yelling all kinds of things at him. The woman was just in a position where she and her child could've been killed, but she's angry at _Jax?_

Clay was in my room with Talia and Juice. I refused any medical treatment from the Scotsman until he looked at Talia first and he finished with her a few minutes ago, but didn't tell me anything. I could hear Juice's voice back there and Clay just called Quinn, so he must need some muscle to keep Juice at bay. I don't think I wanted to know what set Juice off like that.

 **"Move your head around a bit."** Chibs instructed and I did, rotating and turning my head. **"You feel anythin' sloshin' around in there? Anythin' tappin' against your skull?"**

 **"No, just got a damn good headache."**

 **"Don't lie to me, Tiggy. I know how you get when it comes to injuries and medicine."**

 **"I'm fine, Chibs. Scouts honor."** He huffed and grumbled something, but gave me some painkillers from his med kid that I took with the shot of whiskey I poured. I got a glare from Chibs for mixing drugs with alcohol, but he poured himself a shot and took it back. **"What about Talia, she okay?"**

 **"Tara left her medical bag and I put the ointment on her arm, wrapped it in fresh gauze. That cut on her head wasn't anythin' to be alarmed about. What _is_ alarmin' is what she almost did today. That isn't gonna go unnoticed, brother. She strapped that bomb to Clay, threatened to blow us all to Hell, now this? Is like the lass is beggin' for a Mayhem vote."**

 **"Don't say that."** I said in a deadpan tone. **"Don't even _think_ like that."**

 **"I think you should head back there, see what's happened."** Chibs said in the same tone I had and I pushed off my stool, heading back to the dorms.

Quinn was out in the hall and was standing in the door frame of my dorm. I'm surprised he actually fit. Juice was in front of Quinn and he looked tired, probably from trying to get past Quinn. He was leaning on the wall and they both looked at me when I got close enough. Quinn put his eyes back on Juice, but moved sideways to let me go into my room and see what was going on.

The first thing I noticed was Clay sitting in the recliner I moved next to the bed and he was bent over a bit, his forehead on Talia's hand. She was laying in the middle of the bed and I could barely see the white of the bandage on the side of her head, but she was still out cold. Clay brought his head up and pat Talia's hand, sighing.

 **"I was planning on apologizing to you for what I said."** I thought he was talking to her, but Clay turned to me. **"Gemma chewed me out when she found out about it, kicked me outta the house this morning and said I couldn't come back until I made things right. She's a little emotional right now and I was never good around a crying woman. I was wrong though and Gemma just made it clear that I was being an ass."**

 **"You were just doing right by the Club."** I wanted to shrug this off, but I knew it wasn't going to end that way. Clay knew he messed up and his Old Lady was pissed at him, so he'd build a new Eden if it would get Gemma to settle down. **"I accept your apology though."**

 **"Thank you. But this, what Tal almost did today...if I didn't come here, a Son, his Old Lady and their unborn kid could've died."**

 **"I'm trying, Clay. I'm trying my damnedest to get her back to how she was, but it's not easy and it's not gonna happen overnight. She talked to me today, that's progress. I just need time with her."**

 **"I understand and that's why you're gonna have all the time in the world to help your wife. She's gonna stay here and Miles or Rat are gonna be in here when we're gone to watch her. I love Tal just as much as you and the boys do and I want her to get better."** He sighed again as he stood. **"This is a necessary precaution that had to be taken for everyone's safety."**

Clay put his hand on my shoulder and let it fall when he left, but I didn't know what he was talking about until I went to sit in the recliner. Now that I was closer to Talia, I saw the black binding around her wrist that went under the bed and it looked like a rope-length ziptie. This had to be why Juice was flipping out earlier. As much as I didn't want her strapped down to this bed like she was dangerous and unfit to be around people without certain safegaurds...I understood why this needed to be done.

Talia's almost killed Jax twice and would've reduced Clay to scattered bits of human chunks. This apparent vendetta she had for us was becoming too much to handle and it's gotten to the point where every Son had to be careful around her. We couldn't be alone with her without fearing our lives being stripped away.

But this way, having her restrained with nowhere to run, she had to talk to me. She didn't have another choice and she couldn't avoid me. I could help her now, get my darling wife back.

* * *

Within the few days Talia's been tethered to my bed, she talks more, but I was pretty sure it wasn't to me...or anyone in particular. I'd be in there everyday and try to connect with the woman she used to be, but nothing was triggering any old sparks. She'd mumble and mutter little things, but I didn't know what she was talking about. If I said anything about Happy or Jayden, she'd either start hysterically crying or she'd get enraged and start screaming threats while trying to free herself. It was a painful thing to watch.

Gemma came into the picture when Clay told her we were sailing on calm waters again. Whenever the matriarch went to see Talia, there was no screaming or bawling or any explosive emotions. Gemma would go in there alone and do God knows what for a few hours, then come out with the saddest look in her eyes. She told me she just talked to Talia about anything she responded to and held her like she asked, but as the days went by, she was getting quieter.

Gemma's been at my house to take care of Jessica and keep Austin settled when they came back. Another thing he got from his Mother was his immediate devotion towards our matriarch. He did whatever she said without question and she must've told him that Talia was still out of town because he hasn't tried to come to the clubhouse. She didn't want him to see his mother like that anyway.

With that in mind, the Sons attempted to talk to my wife, but she never said a word to any of them. The first few times Juice went to see her, I'd always hear soft music drifting out of my dorm, but I don't think Talia said anything to him and he'd always be on the verge of tears when he left. After that, there was no more music and Juice always left with a stone face.

* * *

The past week, I've made no progress with Talia because she barely said anything to me anymore and I've been working in the garage to pass the time until I felt like she'd be in a different mood. It's been working and when I'd go see her again, she'd sometimes have that 'I'm in love with you' look in her eyes that made me think she was getting better. Other times, she'd just glare and scowl at me, but she'd always say something when I was getting ready to leave, so I think she was trying to keep me with her. It was still a work in progress, but I think she was getting better...I hope she was...

 **"You didn't have to come in today."** Clay said as I tugged my mechanic shirt on and buttoned it. We were in the garage and I followed him into the office to get the report on the Wrangler I was going to work on. Gemma was at the desk and she smiled at us. Austin was at school and Tara has Jessica. The young doctor hasn't come around here since that scalpel incident and I think she was ignoring Jax too. Gemma's been in contact with her and she calls me when ever Jessie stars babbling about her Dad. Thankfully, nothing happened to the little Teller baking in the oven. Clay went to the desk and asked Gemma for the clipboard for the Wrangler. She got up to search through the filing cabinets for it while he leaned on the desk. **"You can take some time off if you want. Gem's more than happy to stay with Tal."**

 **"I don't need to be alone right now. Gotta keep myself going, you know?"**

 **"I understand. You do what you need to. We're here for you, brother. Whatever you need, just ask."**

 **"...I need my wife, man..."** I didn't want to cry right now and especially not in front of Clay, but I knew he wouldn't think anything of it. The tears have been coming easier whenever someone mentions Talia and I didn't like how weak it was making me, but I couldn't do much about it.

 **"Why don't you go check on her, sweetheart?"** Gemma said from behind me and put a hand on my shoulder, making me turn to her. **"I'm sure she'd love to see you."**

I nodded and squeezed Gemma's hand. I went into the clubhouse and made my way back to the dorms. When I got to the hall, I saw Chuck sitting next to the door of my room and he had a little box in his hands. He looked really sad though.

 **"You okay, Chucky?"** I asked and he shook his head.

 **"I made Talia some brownies and put peanut butter in the middle like Juice said she liked them. I've been trying to give them to her, but I can't go in there...I can't bare to see her like that..."** Chuck sniffled and wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt, looking up at me with glossy eyes. **"Talia's a nice girl. She's sweet and caring and she loves her family. She shouldn't have gone through any of that madness.** **What's happened to her is not okay and I do not accept that at all.** **She deserves to be happy.** **"**

Chuck started crying a bit and I put my hand on his shoulder as he quietly wept. He gave me the small box of treats and asked me to give them to Talia along with telling her that he loved her before he stalked off. I've never seen the guy so forlorn before. Chuck was always a cheerful little guy and it was because we took him in, but he looked utterly heartbroken now.

I sighed and slowly opened the door to my room. Miles was sitting in the leather recliner and he bolted up, hand clutching his gun. He relaxed and sat back down when he saw it was me. He's been keeping my room clean and Gemma's been coming in to do what he couldn't when it came to Talia. My wife was laying on my bed and she was tied down to it. Her arms were bound to her sides with the ties tightly fastened to her wrists and the underside of the bed. Picking locks was something she mastered, but I knew she couldn't get out of this. I knew she probably hated every second of being strapped down because of her time in that mental hospital, but we couldn't let her freely wander around until she was okay.

 **"Take a break."** Miles nodded and stepped out, gently shutting the door. I went to the bed and sat next to her, setting Chuck's baked goods on my nightstand. Gemma must've came in to clean her because she was wearing a blue SAMCRO tank and black leggings. Like she's been lately, she was steadily staring into nothing and she didn't react when I put my hand over hers. **"How do do feel today, baby?"**

 **"Let me out."** She insisted in a bland tone and I sighed when I felt her make a fist to test her restraints. She didn't even sound like herself anymore.

 **"I can't, Tal. I'm afraid you're gonna hurt yourself again or you'll hurt someone else."**

 **"I don't want to be here."**

 **"Someone has to keep an eye on you. You're sick, we're taking care of you."**

 **"By strapping me down to a bed against my will. Splendid approach, I feel _so_ taken care of."**

 **"...talk to me, Talia."** I pleaded, feeling the lump in my throat. **"Tell me what's wrong, angel. Tell me what I have to do to get you back to normal."**

 **"Bring my son back."** She calmly spat and turned her head to me, her emotionless eyes seeming to turn grey. **"You're the reason he's dead, practically strapped that bomb on his back. Do you even think about him? No, I doubt you do. Why would you? Jayden's just another face in the crowd of all the people you've murdered, but I hope all those voices that you used to hear are screaming at the top of their lungs and I hope the haunting memory of my son dying in front of you keeps you up every night. I knew I should've stayed away from you."**

I couldn't keep the tears back after that and I broke down in front of her. It was like she didn't think I lost a son too, that I didn't just lose one of my daughters with him. The coldness that's been radiating from Talia was stinging all of us, but I never thought she'd be so surly to me. I was mourning twice as much as she was and I needed her, of all people, to give me some kind of comfort because she meant the most to me.

 **"I love you."** I sniffled and kissed her head, quickly walking out of the room. I had to stop in the hall to take a second to stop crying like a child.

With a deep breath, I felt like I could hold myself together and I went out into the bar, seeing Chibs. He started walking out with me and we saw Juice come in from the locker room.

 **"Hey, Juicy. How's your face feelin'?"** Chibs asked and Juice shrugged. He's been stuck in an impassive mood for a while too.

The trio of scratches starting at his cheekbone and stopping under his chin looked kinda deep, but they were healing well. I know they hurt like hell when he got them and the right side of his face had to be tender, but I knew he was going through a deeper emotional pain. Talia never laid a finger on Juice a day in her life. She'd barely give the kid a playful punch on the shoulder, but she'd be ready to massacre every man wearing the Reaper when he'd get a dose of Brotherly Love. We were trying to toughen him up and she saw that as us bullying or just hurting him, didn't let it go unnoticed. The shiners we'd be walking around with would be 10 times as worse as the ones we'd give Juice.

 **"You talk to her today?"** He asked me and I nodded.

 **"Nothing's changed. She say anything to you?"**

 **" _Please tell Mom this is not her fault._ That's all she ever says when I go in there. She probably asks Miles and Rat to play her music. That song used to make her feel better."**

 **"At least she's sayin' somethin' to either of you."** Chibs muttered **. "Anyone else goes in there and she won't say anythin', just stares at us like we're strangers. That shit cuts deep."**

 **"I think we need to get her to a therapist or something."** Juice said. **"Her mental health status can't be anything good. I'm not saying ship her back to the nuthouse or sign her up for electroconvulsive treatment, but we can't help her if we don't know what's wrong with her. Keeping her locked in here isn't gonna do anything except give her time to think about how she can get out."** **  
**

 **"...he's gotta point."** Chibs said and I sadly looked back at the hall to the dorms. Talia hasn't been getting better and she wasn't going to if she didn't get a certain kind of treatment. We were probably making it worse by locking her in there, but I was concerned about who she could hurt if we let her loose.

 **"Look into it for me?"** I asked Juice and he nodded, going to his room.

Chibs pat me on the back and we went outside to work in the garage. As the hours passed, the other guys would ask how Talia was and give their sympathy when I told them that she wasn't getting any better. Working used to get my mind off her, but today was different. Everything reminded me of her and nothing made her leave my mind.

My wife was hurting and broken. I couldn't help her and she wouldn't tell me how to anyway. Then, I almost lost my mind when nobody knew where Austin and Jessica were. Surprisingly, Felix called me and said he was with my kids on a goddamn vacation. Talia and I used to take Austin and Jayden to this Mother Goose themed amusement park called Rotary Storyland & Playland until they grew out of it. Felix told me that Austin came to him and said he was going on this trip, told me when they came back too. I was grateful that my kids were gone. Austin didn't need to see his Mother at her lowest because that would just mess him up and the last thing I needed was another part of my family to be broken.

I took my break at noon and picked at the sandwich Chuck made everyone for lunch, not in the mood to eat. I was sitting on the small step of the office and I could hear Gemma typing on the computer while Clay was going through the filing cabinets.

 **"Oh, great."** I heard Gemma sigh and as soon as she did, the chirp of a police siren filled my ears, making me stand up.

One of Charming PD's squad cars pulled in and the siren wasn't blaring, so the first one was to get our attention. Since this wasn't a jeep, I knew Unser was in the car, but nobody wanted to talk to that traitor. When Gemma stepped out of the office, Chibs, Opie, Bobby, Juice, and Jax came over and made a little barrier in front of her. Clay was right next to her with his arm over her shoulders and a stone face as we waited for Unser to come over.

 **"We don't got time for your two-faced shit, Wayne."** Gemma admonished when Unser stopped in front of us. **  
**

 **"Two-faced? I've been doing my job, Gem."**

 **"By turning you back on us? That's part of your** **résumé now?"**

 **"I'm a cop, you're the Mother of an outlaw motorcycle club. Did you really think this friendship wasn't gonna undergo any strain?"**

 **"Oh, no. I expected it. What I didn't expect was for you to suddenly act like we don't mean shit to you. I thought you were a friend, Wayne, family even."**

 **"I-"**

 **"Why are you here?"** Jax cut the older man off and he sighed.

 **"I'd like to talk to Happy about his daughter. It's urgent."**

 **"Happy went ghost on us, Talia isn't his daughter and she's in no condition to talk to anyone right now."**

 **"What do you mean she's not his kid? He's listed as her legal guardian, has been for years now. A-and what's wrong with Talia? Is she sick?"**

 **"Maybe if you'd pull your head out of that wannabe diplomatic ass if yours, you'd be up-to-date on our family issues."**

 **"Watch it, son."**

 **" _You'd_ better watch how you're talking to _my_ goddamn son, pig." ** Clay barked and Unser looked shocked. **"You're not a friend to this MC anymore, so learn your fucking place."  
**

 **"Easy, Clay."** Gemma said calmly and the President settled down. **"What's your business with Happy and Talia?"**

 **"I uh, heard about what happened and I wanted to pass along my condolences. Oh, and congratulations."** He turned to me then. **"Heard you guys got married, had some kids. I happy for you and I'm...sorry about your son..."**

 **"That's all you wanted to do, come down here and pity us lowly bikers?"**

 **"No, I just thought you'd all like to know that some people were killed not too long ago. 2 civilians were shot on main street, dropped dead right in front of Floyd's shop."**

 **"Jesus Christ. In broad daylight?"** Gemma half-shrieked and Unser nodded. **"Did anybody see what happened, get a description on who did it?"**

 **"That's why I'm here. More than a handful of people described Talia as the shooter. A security camera caught her doing it and she left her gun on the pavement, prints all over it. An ABP was issued not too long ago. I wanted to talk to her before Hale got here."  
**

 **"That's not possible. She's been here for a few days and she's in the clubhouse now."** Juice said and the confusion in his voice was clear.

I turned around and was about to run inside the clubhouse to see if Miles heard her trying to escape, but that little prick was out here sitting at a picnic table with up some caked-up whore on his lap. **  
**

 **"Miles, get over here! _NOW!"_** I snarled and he stood up, letting the woman drop to the ground. He rushed over to me and I gripped him by the collar of his shirt. **"What the fuck are you doing out here?! You're supposed to be watching Talia!"**

 **"Y-you told me to take a break!** **I checked in on her before I left! She was sleeping! Juice was in the clubhouse, so I-I thought he'd take over watching her!"**

I have never been this angry in my life. I felt like I wasn't myself anymore, that I changed into something sinister and blood-chilling. I got a few punches in on the kid and I knew I broke his nose because there was blood leaking from it. I would've beat that little shit to death, but Jax, Opie and Quinn managed to pry Miles from my grip. He collapsed on the ground and Montez dragged him away.

 **"She's not gonna leave Charming."** Bobby said. **"With that APB out, she's not gonna be able to get outta town."  
**

 **"Then where the hell would she go? Obviously, she's not here and she sure as fuck wouldn't go home. It's not like she can go hide at _Diosas del Amor_ either."**

 **"She sold all the Kittens to Nero after that C4 incident."** Gemma explained and I turned to her, puzzled. **"He called me today because he couldn't reach her** **and** **invited us to a party he's throwing tonight. He said Talia gave him a batch of fresh faces to work with, a damn good pack of bodyguards and Marco and David to handle his financial matters."**

 **"Why would she do that? She isn't doing her Bounty work anymore. Their brothel was gonna be her only source of income and they just got a place to start over."**

 **"Sounds like she tying up loose ends."** Jax pondered. **"** **She probably gave some money to Austin, told him to take his sister to Fresno for a couple days. But why would she do that?"**

The silence set in, but I was the first one to think of the impossible. She wouldn't do that, not my Talia. Cut or not, she considered herself a Son and never in the history of this MC has a Son...killed themselves. It was looked down upon as the coward's way out and Talia was not some candy-ass milksop. She was too strong for that. She had way too much to live for, too many people that loved her for the thought to even cross her mind.

 **"No...she wouldn't..."** I said in disbelief. **"S-she wouldn't off herself...that's not her."  
**

 **"Wake up, Tig!"** Gemma snapped and black tears from her eyeliner were starting to fall. **"She murdered 2 people and left a gun with her fingerprints out on the street! She wanted that ABP to be sent out! Her youngest son died in front of her, she's been depressed and suicidal since his funeral and she's been trying to get a Mayhem vote! Did you forget that she almost killed Jax _and_ Clay?! Then that goddamn box-cutter incident?! 3 strikes and that's it, is all over! Every time I go in that room, she'd ask me what she had to do to get back to normal and I kept telling her I didn't know! She thought I could help her because I lost my baby boy too, but I couldn't do anything for her!"**

 _ **"Please tell Mom this is not her fault..."**_ Juice muttered. **"That's what she meant...she didn't want Gem to feel responsible..."**

 **"We gotta find her _now."_** Jax ordered and everyone started running to their bikes while Gemma ran inside the office, probably calling someone.

Everyone seemed to have a place in mind to look for Talia because Bobby and Juice were the first ones to split off, then Juice, Chibs and Jax. Clay broke off from me and had Rat with him while I rode solo through the town. Every head of black hair caught my attention and I was looking at all their faces, but none of them were Talia. The longer I was looking, the more worried I got that the law would find her before we did.

I didn't see her on Main Street and my next place to look was going to be _Diosas del Amor_ , then home and I'd call Tara last. Maybe Talia went to see Austin or Jessica before she took off. While I was going down a street, I looked at the sidewalk at all the people and stopped when I noticed a woman with a stroller. That was the same homeless lady from St. Thomas. She knew about Talia and I still didn't understand how, but I wasn't going to question it. I watched her roll her stroller down an alley and I parked my bike, quickly dismounting. I went down the alley and found a simple ranch home a few feet away from me.

The windows and door were boarded up, but that woman was sitting on the steps, looking to be eating. When I got close enough, she pulled her head up and I saw the lump of bread she was eating. Next to her was a green bottle with a dark liquid in it.

 **"You let her go, good."** She smiled at me. **"You heeded my words and she's going to be healed now, no more pain, no more suffering. You did good for her."**

 **"Where is she?"**

 **"She's going to take the leap of faith."** The woman stood and pointed in the direction that led out of Charming, to the mountains and winding paths that eventually led to highway 580. **"She'll land into the arms of her fallen loved ones and they will carry her to the paradise that awaits. She's waiting for you, but not for long."**

The woman sat back down and finished her small meal while I ran back to my bike. I raced out of our small town and up the tree infested hills. If I could get to a high one, maybe I could spot Talia somewhere. I didn't have to look far though.

There she was.

She was pacing along the edge and If I'm not mistaken, she was right over the little tribute of John we made on the rock wall below. She still had the gauze wrapped on her left forearm from hurting herself and the other one was bearing a light ring from when she was strapped down to the bed, but nothing else looked wrong. Well, she was pacing along the precipice of the mountain and she's been out of her mind lately, but she didn't look _physically_ hurt.

Talia leisurely twirled on the balls of her feet and she looked like one of those tiny ballerinas on a music box. With one foot in front of the other, she started pacing along the edge and her head would loll to the right as if she were enjoying the heat from the late afternoon sun. She wasn't off balance either, didn't tilt to the side or start to wobble.

Talia stopped and my heart did too, but she simply turned around to face me. I took a few steps towards her and completely ignored the constant vibrating in my pocket.

 **"I was waiting for you."** She said lightly, gently almost. **"I knew you'd find me. You had to be here, but you can't go with me."**

 **"Tal, let's just talk, okay? Just come over here and talk to me, baby."** I held my hand out to her, but jerked back and put both my hands up when she put one foot over the edge.

 **"** **This has been coming for a long time. I tried to avoid it, but this was inevitable.** **"** She explained and looked down over the mountain as she nudged some rocks over. **"** **Jayden's death was the weight that tipped the scale.** **"**

 **"Tal-"**

 **"Look at my life, love. Look at everything that's happened to me. All the pain and lies and hurt and sadness I've been through, then more piles on and I'm just supposed to roll with the punches? Everyone has their limit and I reached mine a _long_ time ago. I'm sick of this life. I can't live like this anymore. It's tearing me apart. "**

 **"We'll get though this, baby. It's gonna be a long ride and it's not gonna be easy, but we'll make it. I'll be there every step of the way, I'm not gonna give up on you. You've been through pain before and you can get through it now, you can fight this."**

 **"** **My fire's burned out, there's nothing left for me to give.** **I'm tired of fighting, Alex. I'm _exhausted."_**

 **"Then I'll fight for you."** I promised and the dam broke, the tears starting to run down my cheeks. I was trying to stay strong for the both of us, I had to. She needed a rock and I had to be that solid person for her. **"It's gonna get better, baby, I promise. You're in the dark right now, you can't see the light, but it's there. Please, angel, just hold on."**

 **"Angel."** She repeated and turned to me.

The setting sun made her look like she was standing in front of a warm fire and it gave her skin a benevolent glow. She looked like she had a halo behind her. I've never seen her like this before. The light made the hue of her beautiful eyes change, darkened them to a royal blue...just like Dawn's used to be.

Dawn's dark hair always made her eyes look like they were wenge or even black, but they were just a deep, dark blue. Colleen's traits couldn't overpower mine. Fawn got her light hair, but my girls had blue eyes like me. Dawny was my little girl. She's always been a Daddy's Girl, not like her sister. Fawn was always independent and hard-headed, always did things on her own or how she saw fit. She had a bit of a rebellious side, but didn't everyone? Fawn had her shit together though, had her own safe life to live. Lord only knows what the hell Dawn got into and whatever bad decisions she made were my fault. I constantly walked out on those girls and one day, they never saw me again. Dawn did the same thing to me, only coming to see if I was alive to get money for some reason. She probably owed it to someone who'd kill her if she didn't pay up or the worst case scenario was that she was fueling one hell of an addiction.

I guess that's just how the Trager family is, we've all got something wrong with us.

Dawn was another reason why I was attracted to Talia. She was so young when she came around the clubhouse, much younger than my daughters, and her callowness was something I didn't know I craved. I wanted to watch her grow up, be there with her every step of the way, fed off the way she made me feel like I had a second chance to be a father. I probably had some fucked up Daddy-Daughter fetish that I imprinted onto Talia and I didn't even realize it. When our boys came along, I knew I'd be a better parent to them than I was to my daughters because I wanted to know what it was like to be a good Dad. I wanted my children to love me and I got my wish.

Jayden was my little twin, matched me exactly. He was a charming little devil and he knew it. Since he was 13, he always told me how much he wanted to join the Club. He liked the thrill that came with it and I wanted him to join. It'd be like how Clay coached Jax and we were keeping it within the family too. Then there was Austin. That kid was the exact opposite of both his parents, forever keeping a calmed demeanor that neither Talia or I could. He was the strong silent type, his mind an ever-growing wonder of madness, but the creativity in that kid couldn't be confined. He definitely got that from his Mother, that and the attraction to fire...

Austin's gotten much too quiet after his brother's death. He was the oldest by 15 minutes, but he acted like he had _years_ on the kid. He definitely got into his big brother roll at an early age, always trying to keep Jayden out of trouble because that kid spent his teenage years looking for it. The fights at school, detentions and minor charges on his rap-sheet were proof enough. Austin was the same though, with the fights and light criminal record. Those boys had their Mother's passion to fight and my urge to protect what they love.

Austin didn't want to Prospect though. He never told me why and when I'd ask him about it, he'd build a wall to block me out, so I dropped it. I knew he told his Mother something though. He told Talia _everything_ he did, every amazing experience he's had, and I'd have to hear it from her. Hell, he told her the day he lost his virginity and I didn't know until _years_ later. My boys were both extremely close to their Mother, but Austin was closer to her than Jayden was and I think it's because he asked her about us. She probably told her the story of how we got together and I highly doubt she skipped over the cheating bit. That's why he always kept me at a distance and I had a feeling he was going to shut me out without his Mother. He needed her just like I did.

Then there was Jessica. I'll be damned if that little girl didn't love Jayden to pieces and she probably thought he was her Dad. I wouldn't blame her either. My son was always with her. He'd be the first face she saw when she woke up and he'd keep her with him throughout the day. When he'd sing for her, she'd smile like I've never seen before and it was full of so much love. I think she knew that he was gone because she's been fairly cranky since his funeral, but what the hell was she going to do without her Mother?

The saddest thing was, my newest kids would never get to meet their half-sisters. With Dawn gone and Fawn hating me for the rest of her life, they'd never get to even see each other. They'd love them though, my boys. With how protective they were over Talia and Jessie, they wouldn't let Dawn and Fawn out of their sight and I'd probably get to see my girls more often because of my sons.

It dawned on me then. I've lost 2 children to this Club and I was about to lose my wife. She wanted out, gave Clay her cut and said she was done, but you can't just walk away from this life. She'd always be connected to us and our kids would too. I wish it were that easy to leave because I would've taken my family and moved us across the goddamn country, far away from all the charters. No more outlaw shit, no more jail-time, no more blood.

 **"Angels can fly..."** Talia said and it sounded like a question. She was staring into my eyes and she seemed to be waiting for me to answer.

 **"Yeah, they can fly."**

Then, silence. I thought she was going to start talking about religion and what her take on the afterlife was. That's what people do in times like these. From what I understood, she didn't believe in anything because she wanted proof of the all-powerful deity that possibly created mankind and judged us. If not that, I thought she'd start talking about her Mom. Something always told me that she loved that woman more when she was dead than when she was alive. I guess she could connect with her more.

 **"Angels can fly."** Talia's sweet voice broke my trance again and she smiled at me. Something didn't feel right though.

When she smiles, my heart flutters and something inside me explodes with unadulterated joy. Her smile was the best accessory she could ever wear and I always wanted to see it on her darling face, that's why I always made her laugh. That sound, that delicate titter, had to be what angels were made of and it was my first favorite sound I loved to hear from her. The second were those intoxicating moans of hers, those addictive purrs that had me hooked for life.

That smile though...it wasn't like any one I've ever seen before. It reached her eyes and made the corners crinkle in delight, but there was no light. It wasn't forced, but it was purely genuine and it made me more nervous than I was.

With that strange grin on her lips, Talia tipped back with her arms out and I watched as she slowly disappeared over the edge. She still looked so graceful, so perfect, as she fell. It was then that my whole world fell apart. My very soul was ripped at the seams and the shattering sound I heard that blocked out my screaming had to be my mind breaking.

I knew I was bawling and screaming my goddamn lungs out, but I still couldn't hear it, couldn't hear anything. Before my eyes, I saw that enchanting 18-year-old girl with midnight blue hair and sea green eyes that sparkled over a toasty fire as we watched bodies burn. I saw that 24-year-old goddess laying next to me, peacefully sleeping until her eyes fluttered open with a smile for me. I saw that gorgeous 26-year-old with my sons in her arms, singing to them and smiling.

And all I could hear was her saying it over and over on a mind-shattering replay.

 _"You are a good man and I love you, I always will."_

She always did and like she promised, like she fucking swore on her life, she'd never stop loving me. Even after all the shit I put her though, all the Club's taken from her, she never told me she stopped loving me and I needed that. I needed to know that someone truly loved me through thick and thin because it make all those goddamn voices go away. I guess what Gemma said was true. Men _need_ to be loved, women need to be wanted.

I finally came back to Earth. I was on the ground and sobbing my heart out, begging something or someone to bring her back and take me instead. I don't know how long I was crumpled there in a ball of agony, screaming in suffocating sadness, but I heard the engines of motorcycles get closer until they stopped. I heard a scream and a few crying shouts, but I didn't move. I _couldn't._ I wanted her to be mine again and as much as I prayed that this was some horrible nightmare, I knew it was the living Hell of reality.

That's all I wanted, to see her beautiful eyes again and her smile. I took them for granted and I just realized it. I was accustomed to seeing my wife smiling and laughing and gazing into those alluring eyes every day. I was used to the velvety touch her silken skin always had and to this day, I still couldn't believe how soft she was.

Talia was just... **gone.**

She wasn't coming back and I'd never see her again, never hold her or look into those beautiful eyes.


	33. Chapter 33

**X~Tig~X**

Being in shock was an understatement. When she fell, my soul was separated from my body and I don't think it was planning on coming back.

I had to be dragged off that damn mountain because I wouldn't have left or I would've done something unimaginable and jumped too, just to be with her. The emotional pain from losing Talia melted into physical pain and it hurt to do _everything._ I wanted to stop breathing and blinking because it just hurt so damn much. When the ambulances came with Charming PD, Unser couldn't even look at her corpse and he drove Gemma to the scene, so she was in shambles. I've never seen her break down like that and I never thought I could hear a more painful sound than her cries. The Sons weren't any better and I've known these ruthless men my entire life, but they couldn't stop crying and Juice...he was the worst off.

The hardest part was far from over. Austin still had to find out that his Mother was gone and I had to tell him, not Gemma. I waited for him to come home and sat him down. I knew he didn't want to talk to me, but he needed to know what happened. I had to tell him everything about his Mother from her beginning. I told Austin about her being kidnapped and how Happy raised her. I briefly debated on telling him about what she did for a living, but decided to tell him because he knew that murders were a trait of the Club. When I told him that she was gone, he didn't say anything. He didn't start crying or yelling or asking me questions.

My son stared at me for what felt like a decade, then he just got up and went into his room. Just like when his brother passed, he spent most of his time locked in his own space and he rarely came out.

A funeral was quickly put together, but it was beautifully decorated and there were a lot of people at the service. All the Devils were there, Mayans, a few suspiciously unknown men that I pegged as loyal clients, Dylan, Ethan and Josh, Tara, Unser, Nero, Marco, David and all the women formally titled as Kittens. But none of their appearances were as important as his was.

Happy was at her burial, dressed in black from head to toe with the most elegant bouquet of red roses, and had the entire Tacoma charter trailing after him. If they were invited by Happy was questionable, but nobody said anything about their presence. I wasn't sure who told Happy about Talia's death because nobody could get in contact with him since he went off the grid, but it meant so much that he came back. He sat right next to me and I let him hold Jessica. I'd see him peek at Austin as the service chugged on, but he, and everyone else, was in tears before it was halfway done. As instantly as he came, he was gone again without a trace.

The first thing I did after Talia's funeral was tear the patch off my chest. Almost all my life, I've been the Sergeant-At-Arms for the SOA Mother charter and I'd never think I'd want to be anything else, but I knew long ago that this patch would have come off one day. It was the day I accepted the fact that I loved Talia, but it took all this bullshit and death for me to get rid of it. No more blood, no more bodies. I was done with it.

A few weeks passed and Austin was on the road to his early graduation. It wasn't as joyous as it should've been, but it was a ray of light in our dark times. As soon as he got his diploma, he was gone. I was taking a well-deserved absence from the Club to be with my daughter, to actually be a Father, when I noticed Austin was out of sight. Since Talia's burial, I'd only see Austin in the morning when he leaves for school and he doesn't always come home at night, but when he does, I find him sleeping with Jessie on the couch. He never talks to me, but I was planning on trying to work things out with him.

I didn't see Austin at all that day, but he left his Navy acceptance letter tapped on the fridge and it wasn't surprising when I found his room bare.

In my time being out of the Club...being normal, I just stayed close to Jessica because she looked more like Talia every day and she was the last thing I had that was connected to her. Jessie's hair was darkening and I wondered if her eyes would too, but she seemed to be enjoying the quality time she was spending with her Dad.

It was hard letting go of Talia. She was with me longer than Collen was and our relationship was honest. We were truly in love and I knew she still loved me on her dying day. At first, I'd see her in my dreams and they'd be beatific moments where I could relive memories as if they were happening again...or they'd be of her downwards spiral and the day she died. The nightmares were the worst because I'd sometimes see Jayden or Kozik jumping off that cliff and into the dark abyss below with his Mother.

The mornings were rough too. I'd wake up and see Talia sleeping next to me, blink and she'd be gone. I'd try to keep my eyes open long enough to savor the beautiful sight of her, but she'd just fade away after a second. I put all her things in Jayden's old room and it was like a tribute now, to both of them. Like I did when she was away in Russia, I'd go in there and cry my eyes out until I had nothing left in me. I couldn't keep her with me and it took a while, but I started to accept that I couldn't have her back because she was gone forever.

Chibs would come visit me and he'd always ask if I wanted to know what the Club was up to, but I never did. He told me about the newest Teller and how little Abel was sitting in an incubator at St. Thomas. I thought it was Jax and Tara's baby boy, but it turned out to be Jax and _Wendy's_ kid. Apparently, VP has been spending a lot of time with his son and he found his father's manuscript. Chibs told me Jax was trying to change for his kid and wanted to get the Club on a safer path. Unfortunately, it was too late for Jax to decide to be a Dad because Tara divorced him and said she was taking _her child_ out of Charming, away from the madness of the Club. The strangest thing was, Gemma didn't stop her. Hell, she helped her pick out a place in Madera and made sure she got settled in. Tara didn't leave with just Jax's kid either...she took mine with her.

It was a little past Jessica's 3rd birthday when Tara came back to Charming. She showed me all the paperwork that Talia signed saying that Tara was granted legal custody of Jessica. I didn't want to believe that I couldn't have my daughter, my _last_ little girl, with me everyday. In the time I've been _raising_ her, I taught her how to do so many things and I've watched her grow. Now she was just going to be taken from me? I didn't let that happen without a fight, but my dispute didn't last long. Tara had the cleanest track record and when her lawyers got a look at mine, I was done for. According to the law, I shouldn't have children because I wouldn't be a proper parent to them and hearing some strangers who didn't know how much I loved all my kids say that tore me apart.

Tara told me that Talia killed a fed for her and in return, she asked that Jessica be given a normal life. She took Jessica away from me and promised she'd be raised right. After months without seeing my darling baby girl, I got a letter in the mail that permitted me to have Jessica every weekend. I cherished those 2 days with my daughter and she wasn't supposed to, but Tara would sometimes drop Jessica off when she had long hours at the new hospital she was working at.

Jessica was the sweetest little thing I've ever seen and she kept her kindness as she grew up. She'd tell me all about school and how Tara was teaching her how to play the piano. When Tara's due date came around, Jessica was overly-excited to have a little brother, Thomas. Tara would tell me how much Jessie loved helping with Thomas and Gemma would take Abel over there because there was no way in hell she was going to let Wendy be alone with her grandson. Jessica got close to both boys and I was happy that she had them because it seemed like they replaced the brothers she lost...

I was glad to be distanced from the Club when Clay guided them down the wrong road one too many times. The corrupt power of the gavel was going to his head and he even attempted to get Jax killed to keep his spot at the head of the table, but Miles ended up getting killed in the mix. I started worrying about Gemma when Chibs told me how power-hungry Clay was getting and I'd go check on her almost everyday, but the day I found her crying on her kitchen floor with a swollen, bruised face, **I lost it.**

Clay's been staying at the clubhouse and I went there, into his 'domain', and beat his ass like he was a goddamn stranger that just did something horrible to my daughter. I was _1 goddamn punch_ away from ending his pathetic life too, but by God's grace, Gemma found it in her heart to tell me to spare him. After everyone was informed about what he did to Gemma, his President patch was stripped and Gemma kicked his sorry ass out of her house.

Jax was deemed president and Chibs Vice President. Jax even came to me and asked if I'd be okay with Quinn getting my Sergeant-At-Arms patch, which I was. Since the Prince was crowned King, SAMCRO's been keeping a low profile and with Jax at the head of the table, things were going in the right direction.

* * *

I was going through Talia's things today. I put it off for _years_ , but today was the day I'd get it done. Jessica was going to be coming over tomorrow and she could take what she wanted. Jessie was 16 now and to say time passed quickly was an understatement. She grew from a fairy princess to a lovely teenager overnight, but she was just as beautiful as her Mother. Speaking of, I'm not sure what or if Tara's told Jessica about what happened to Talia or if she lied to her, but I'd have to ask her about it. Maybe she wanted me to tell her.

Austin was 32 now and he's still a SEAL like he always wanted. There was little to no contact between us, but he writes letters to Jessica all the time and he visits her when he comes home. Aria stuck by his side and she told me that they were engaged. It was going on 4 months now and she was very excited for the wedding. She and Jessica are the only things that get Austin to say 2 words to me. Jessica always drags him over here and she makes us say something to each other, but Austin's politeness is clearly forced. His time in service made him get a better grip on his temper, but I could tell how much he wanted to lash out when he's around me.

Jessie's been calling me more frequently and it was usually to pick her up somewhere because she left Tara's house for some reason. They've been arguing a lot lately and Tara told me that Jessica knows that she isn't her Mother. Jessie's been begging me to let her move in with me and I wanted her to, but it was out of my power. Legally, she had to stay with Tara until she was 18 and even then, even with her being the last daughter I have that isn't dead or hating me, I couldn't let her move in. Talia wanted what's best for our baby girl and I was going to stand by her last wish.

I had a feeling Jessica was going to sneak out at midnight to come over here, which was technically legit, so I wanted to get Talia's things sorted before tonight. I just got finished eating breakfast with Kip and he was still hanging in there. He was in his Senior years and the color of his patches were fading to gray, but he was still a good dog that knew when trouble was coming. He'd walk into the walls almost 10 times a day, but he was here to stay.

Kip leisurely followed me upstairs and down the hall. I took a deep breath, grabbed the doorknob and took a step inside. I didn't notice how much of Talia's things I horded until it took almost 3 hours for me to get through half of it. I found some pictures of Rouge and showed Kip what his Mom looked like in her prime. Delightful memories started to resurface and I cried at the sight of a few pictures, but it was a good thing to let the emotions out. I kept them bottled up far too long.

After I got the other half of the room finished and had a few boxes set aside for Jessica, I opened the closet. I expected it to be filled to the hilt with more stuff, but it wasn't. I almost didn't see what was sitting on the shelf, but I got it down and a letter fell to the ground. I set the long, tube-like object on the bed and saw that the letter had my name on it, so I opened it.

 _"I realized that in my downward spiral of hopelessness, I was actually falling into a huge hole created by my absence of basic human graces. The most obvious was forgiveness. If I was wronged by anyone, in or out of the Club, I had to be compensated by money or blood. There was no turning the other cheek. When relationships become a ledger of profit and loss, you have no friends, no loved ones, just pluses and minuses. You are absolutely alone."_

 _John was such a complicated man. I wish I could've met him just to hear what chaos is in his mind. He'd probably tell me to get away from the Club, go somewhere far away from the Men of Mayhem. I think I would've. I found his manuscript when I was a kid. Maybe it was an accident, maybe it was fate. Either way, it fell into my lap and I started to read. I didn't understand most of it, but I comprehended enough to make me think about my life. Well, the life I was living. It wasn't mine._

 _The day I accepted that leather, I took an oath to be forever loyal to the Reaper I wore on my back and swore to protect, love and fight alongside any man wearing it on his. The heartache, pain and loss that came with it are things I unknowingly accepted too._

 _My baby boy's life was stolen from him and something inside of me died when he did. It felt like my very soul fled my body that day and I have been less of a person since. My mind has always been in shambles and my 'choice' of lifestyle made it worse. I couldn't confess all my transgressions if I wanted to because if there is a God, He has already turned his back on me for all of the things I've done.  
_

 _If there is a paradise for the dead, then I will meet my Mother, my son, Kip and Kozik at the gates and we'll live in eternal harmony. Maybe I'll even get to meet Mr. Cobain and we'll have long talks about his life. I'd like that. If there isn't, well, perhaps I'll meet them in another life. I'm sure we've all earned another chance at living again._

 _I leave these words with you, my darlings._

 _To my dearest Jessica. You are the most beautiful thing on this planet and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You'll grow up to be a strong, fearless woman and I'm sorry that I can't be there to watch you grow. You'll be a different woman than I was, I know you will. You won't make the same choices I made and you'll become something great, my little star. Find what you love and let it kill you, let it drain you of every fiber of your being, let it make you go mad. Believe in yourself, my beautiful girl. You can do anything._

 _To my son, open up, my sweet child. Give your father a chance, he's all you have left. What's happened in the past is history and nothing can change that, but you can control the future._ _Open up, darling, let him in._ _You have so much to live for, so much to look forward to. Don't let loss stop you from living the life you want. The world is your canvas._

 _And to you, my love_

 _In my last hours, as my decision to leave this world become unclouded with doubt, I realized that did not treat you as fairly as I should have and I'm sorry. I wasn't a good wife to you, Alexander, and you didn't deserve those moments of coldness._

 _I never stopped loving you and I never will. Without you, I wouldn't know what love truly is. I hope the screams in your head have settled down to whispers. I hope you can be happy again. I hope you'll carry my love with you for the rest of your days and I hope you'll remember that you are a good man, you always have been. You always called me your angel, but you were mine. You were my graceful benevolence and you saved me from myself._

 _I love you unconditionally, Alexander._

 _As I prepare to take my final ride, I leave you with this letter and a gift. It was supposed to be something for Jax when he was anointed President and symbolize a new start for SAMCRO, but now, it's something I want my family and future members to remember me by._

 _Remember the first female to wear the Reaper on her back, the first woman of the Sons of Anarchy_ _Motorcycle Club_ _Redwood Original._

 _And remember that a King is only as strong as the Queen ruling beside him._

I set the paper down and went to the long object rolled up in an olive covering. It had a few brown ties keeping it together and I started to undo them, gently unrolling what was being kept inside. When I saw it, I just stared for a moment and took in every fine detail of it. This was what she wanted to be remembered by and it was a huge part of SAMCRO, of the Sons of Anarchy as a whole.

I re-wrapped the gift and called Jax, telling him we needed to have Church _right now._ I didn't tell him why or if something was drastically wrong, but he said he'd put the word out. I made sure the gift was tightly wrapped and I took it outside, mounting my bike with it across my lap. Halfway along my drive, I heard another motorcycle join me and looked in my mirror to see Quinn. After him, Chibs joined and they stayed behind me to follow.

We pulled into TM and I saw that the rest of the Sons' bikes were already here. Gemma was at the office and she watched us go into the clubhouse, retreating into the small room when we got to the door. Since Clay's been out of her life, she's been a little quiet, but she was whole and functioning.

The bar was vacant and quiet, but I could see Rat sitting at his seat through the blind on the right side of the Chapel doors. When I stepped in, everyone stood up and I was a bit surprised to see Clay at the opposite end of the table, without any leather on, but I didn't care for his presence. He's probably why Gem locked herself in the office. After a few quick greetings, everyone sat down, but I stayed standing with the gift in my hands.

 **"Tig called this meeting."** Jax started. **"I'm not sure what he wants to tell us, but he wanted everyone here and it sounded important. The floor's yours."**

 **"I found the courage to start going through Talia's stuff the other day."** I said and everyone softly sighed at the sound of her name. **"I was gonna put everything in storage, let Jessica have whatever she wanted from it. I found something that she left. Talia wrote a letter and said she found JT's manuscript. She said she read it when she was younger, but I don't know when or how she found it. It was a goodbye letter really. She gave some words of wisdom to Austin and Jessie, sent her love. She left something for us, for the Club."**

I set the gift on the table and unlaced the knots again. The guys were very interested in seeing what was hiding under the cover and when I unwrapped it, they were all star-struck. Sitting sideways in my hands was our symbol, what we carried with us everyday. The top half was a scythe with a razor-sharp blade that morphed into an M16 rifle. It was around 5 feet long, close to 6, but it was a perfect replica of our insignia. I knew these things didn't really exist and Talia had to have been working on this little project for years to make it as flawless as it was. **  
**

 **"The true outlaw finds the balance between the passion in his heart and the reason in his mind.** **The solution is always an equal mix of might and right."** I read the inscription gracefully inscribed on the metal and placed the weapon right over the Reaper. A perfect goddamn match. **"In the letter, she said she was going to unveil this when Jax got his President patch because it'd symbolize change, a new order, but she left us before that happened. She wanted us to remember her, so she left us with this. I figured we could make something out of it, a little monument like JT's bike in the hall."**

 **"Damn thing deserves its own clubhouse."** Opie said and everyone smiled.

 **"We could put her sniper with it."** Juice spoke up.

 **"I don't know where she put it."** I said. **"I looked everywhere, but I can't find it."**

 **"I have it. She used to go on for days about all of Chris Kyle's stats and which guns he used, guy was her idol. I found one with all the modifications and gave it to her on her birthday** **. She must've went to my apartment before she..."** Juice trailed off and I saw how hard he was biting on his lip. **"I found it in buried in my closet."  
**

 **"Ros had her trophy mailed to me, sent his sympathy."** Chibs said and I nodded. **"We could put that with her gun, the scythe."**

 **"I've got her guitar. I'll give it a shine, put in there too."** Bobby added. The guys nodded at all the contributions and when Jax looked at the end of the table, at Clay, I did too. He had his hand up and Jax motioned for him to speak.

 **"Gemma's got all her...well, everything. After the funeral, Happy came to the house and gave Gem everything of hers he had since she was a kid.** **Gem's got photo albums, home movies, couple homemade dreamcatchers. I still have her cut. I uh, added a few patches on there that I felt like she deserved. Redwood Original, Unholy One, Reaper Crew, Jayden's patch. I wasn't sure if she should get Enforcer or Ass Kicker, she was kinda both."  
**

 **"Ass Kicker."** I chose and Clay nodded.

 **"I'm sure we've all got a piece of her with us."** Jax said and got everyone's attention on him. **"Let's try to bring everything here by tomorrow and get started on her cut-out this weekend, put it right next to JT's."**

Everyone was banging on the table and cheering before Jax even grabbed the gavel and when it came down, the guys were quick to run out of the Chapel.

As instructed, the Sons came back early Saturday morning with anything of Talia's that they had. Other than her gun, trophy and guitar, everyone had a busload of pictures. We went to help Gemma go through the boxes of stuff Happy dropped off and got more things to add to Talia's tribute. We took everything to the clubhouse and got to work. We didn't stop our project until it was done and Chuck was supplying us with cold waters almost every 2 seconds because we were all close to passing out once or twice. This was just too important to be put on hold. What we made was something else.

The cut-out was about 6 feet tall and 4 feet wide. In the middle was a headless mannequin and Talia's patched leather was on it. The model had short arms and it was holding the gun-scythe, its hands wrapped in the red gauze Talia used when she'd fight. In front of the figurine was her trophy and pinned on the back wall was her red and black brawling attire. Her guitar was mounted on the left side and it always had a shine to it, while her sniper was placed on the right side. There were thin, almost invisible, strings drawn across the space going in every direction and they had pictures on them of Talia with all of us, but mainly with Happy. Sitting on the floor of the cut-out were framed pictures of our family and I'd have to ask Aria to get me a picture of Austin in his Navy getup. There was a single picture of Rouge next to them and her collar was wrapped around the frame.

Seeing that shrine for Talia made coming back to the clubhouse that much easier because I knew she'd never be forgotten. So long as the Men of Mayhem rode with Hell in their eyes, her memory will live on.


	34. Chapter 34

**"My God, Jessica is more like you everyday. When I was taking her back to Tara's, we rode past a playground and she made me stop so she could play on the monkey bars** **. Hell, I started playing with her."** I chuckled and felt a tingling warmth grow inside of me that let me know that Talia was listening to me.

I was at her grave and sitting in front of her headstone. I remembered when she'd take me to see her Mom and I did the same thing, talked to her and felt like someone was listening.

I already went to see Jayden and I put some new flowers on his grave, but I had to find a spot to set them. People he went to school with still came to put stuffed animals or flowers on his grave and I thought that was very kind of them. I almost wished we would've buried Kozik in Charming, but like Half-Sack, his casket was transported to the closest family we could get in contact with.

I've been talking to Talia for a good hour now. I told her about what we made for her at the clubhouse and how amazing it was. The Sons went to that shrine almost everyday and added a new picture that they found. I told her about my last weekend with Jessica too. Our visits usually started with me going to pick her up, if she managed to stay at Tara's house, but that was becoming a regular thing because Jessie was getting deeply attached to Abel. She tells me how much of a quiet kid he is, but that he likes playing with her all day. She even has a picture of she and him as her phone's lockscreen. They reminded me of Talia and Juice and I hoped they'd stay close.

For the remainder of our Friday night, Jessie tells me what's been going on with school and her friends. Her closest ones were Drew Tanner and Harley Maye, both girls. Jessie was more in touch with her feminine side and she was into skirts, light colors and anything that had sparkles or glitter on it. She and her friends would stay up almost every night on their laptops video chatting. She's taught me how to do that from my phone, but we have yet to try it on a computer. After that, we go out shopping for something to make at home and destroy the kitchen because neither of us were great cooks.

On Saturday morning, Gemma usually comes over and she's always so happy to see Jessica. She usually makes us a nice breakfast and that draws the Sons to my place. Jessie knows who her Uncles are and she always asks about them, but she wouldn't let Quinn out of her sight for some reason. He wasn't too big on talking, but he'd listen to her say a million words in 10 seconds and keep her talking. Opie always puts his beanie on her head and Chibs teaches her a new word in Gaelic whenever he sees her. She's very neutral when it comes to Jax, probably because she knew that was Tara's ex-husband, and Rat can get her laughing so hard, she'll start crying. Juice keeps his distance from her for some reason. He always greets her and he'll talk to her if she goes to him, but if he doesn't have to, he won't. I wasn't sure if Jessie reminded him of Talia and it was painful for him to interact with her or if they just had nothing in common. As for the rest of the guys, they love seeing her and they're always happy to have her around.

After breakfast sets, Jessie usually asks me to take her on a ride and we cruise around Charming for hours. I had to ask Tara for her say on letting Jessica come to the clubhouse and she told me not to make a habit of letting her hang around there, but that she was fine with it. Jessie would take pictures of all the decorations we had around the clubhouse, then she'd venture back to the hall of the dorms and stare at Talia's cut-out. She'd sit there for a good 20 minutes, just taking in everything and making sure she saw every tiny detail of the tribute. After that, she'd go to John's bike and snap a picture.

I had to take Jessica back to Tara's house at 1pm every Sunday, but it was always a fight with her. She never wanted to leave and she'd start crying when it was time to go, begging me to let her stay with me. It broke my heart every time. Tara would usually call me a few hours later to tell me that she didn't know where Jessie was because she stormed out of the house after saying that she hated her and that she wished her real Mother was alive. Jessie would always go to Talia's grave and I'd make sure she was there before leaving my girls alone to have their time. I talked to Jessie about that and she always apologized to Tara, but it would just happen again every Sunday.

 **"Tara's doing a good job with her, making her into a good woman. Gemma's so jealous."** I chuckled and stretched, repositioning the bouquet of flowers laid across the front of her headstone. **"Jessie's taking after you though. She told me she wanted to dye her hair _pink._ Could you imagine that? It'll look like she's got a wad of bubblegum on her head."**

That warming feeling came back again and I couldn't stop smiling. I could image how excited Talia would be to color Jessie's hair. I missed the day she turned Jayden into a blonde, but Jayden would wake up everyday and scream his goddamn head off which would effectively wake up the entire house. He'd come into our room, jump on the bed, trample me and smother Talia with hugs, kisses and tell her how amazingly happy he was. That went on for a few months and when I was busy with the Club, Austin would join in with Jessie and I wondered how beatific those moments looked. I've really started to understand how time waits for no one. Moments come and go. You're either there to see them or you miss out on such wonderful memories.

 **"She misses you, Tal."** I softly muttered, hanging my head a bit. **"I know Tara feels like she's her mother, but Jessie knows she's not and I can imagine how much it hurts Tara to hear her saying that she hates her. She doesn't, she just wants you back...I do too..."**

 _Don't do it, Trager. You're done with the waterworks, you've gotten past it. Don't start acting like a soft ass now._

Against the warning in my head, I was biting back the tears because Jessica shouldn't be going through this. She shouldn't be torn between the people that love her, but I always tried to make her understand that this is what was best for her. I've kept her out of the Club and she thinks what everyone else does. The Sons of Anarchy were a rough gang of criminal bikers that partake in shady activity, but they are the sole protectors of the town. She doesn't know about our gunrunning or our murders or anything like that. Of course, she thinks we're a righteous group, but it's up to her to think about what we're involved in.

I felt my Burner buzz and I knew one of the guys probably needed me back at the clubhouse. With a sigh, I stood up and kissed the headstone with a whispered "I love you." I made my way out of the cemetery and to my awaiting bike, but I didn't mount it. I checked my Burner and saw that Rat texted me saying it was almost my shift to guard Cara Cara. I had a good 20 minutes to get to the porn studio and from here, it was only 10 minutes away. Since I had some time to spare, I walked down the long street until I came to the only bench in the grass.

I sat down and appreciated the tranquil silence. I looked up at the sky and there were clouds everywhere, but I knew the sun was hiding behind them. It was a nice day. Spring has sprung and there were flowers blooming everywhere. Speaking of, Gemma's taken up a new hobby and turned her backyard into a garden. she actually made the bouquet for Talia. That garden always had colorful roses and Gemma bonds with Jax because of those plants. He helps her tend to them and they talk about Nate, when Gem was a little girl. It was good that they were getting close because,if anything, Jax really needed someone in his corner that was there to stay and Gemma was.

With a sudden temptation, I went into my pocket and tugged out one of my favorite pictures of Talia, the one of she and Rouge. My girls. I usually propped a picture on her headstone to feel like I was really talking to her, but I didn't this time. I put that one back and replaced it with a single shot of her. It was when she first came back home and she still had her purple hair. She was at the clubhouse, sitting on the bar with her one silken leg crossed over the other and I could see Half-Sack behind her. She really was a little Queen, our princess.

 **"Would it be okay if I sat with you? I'm waiting for my ride."** I heard a voice ask from next me and the heavy country drawl it held was new to my ears. Most people around Charming didn't have an accent unless they were rednecks or foreigners from a different country. I didn't take my eyes off the picture, but I knew it was a woman's voice.

 **"No, please."** I scooted over on the bench, but I still didn't take my eyes off the picture.

 **"I don't mean to snoop, but is that your daughter?"**

I felt the woman sit next to me and I saw she was wearing a black pencil skirt. I wondered if she was a businesswoman or if she was just a classy kind of girl. I didn't bother looking at her though. My wife had my full attention and I felt like she was watching me right now. The last thing I'd want is for her to think I'm a scumbag in the afterlife for checking out some broad, even if the broad was nice.

 **"No, this is my wife."** I started to smile, but it faltered. **"...this** ** _was_** **my wife."**

 **"Oh, I'm sorry. Divorce must be a mighty painful thing to go through, forced to be separated from the one you love."**

 **"I've been there before, divorce. It's easier. My wife's dead."**

 **"That's even worse..."** I heard how sad the woman's voice became and it always amazed me how strangers could be impacted by people they've never met before. **"She's very beautiful. Those eyes are stunning."** I smiled at the woman's compliment. **"You said you were married. Did you and, um..."**

 **"Natalia...Natalia Rayne Langdon."**

 **"Such a pretty name. Did you and the lovely Natalia have any children?"**

 **"3 of them. 2 boys and a beautiful little girl. Austin, Jayden and Jessica."** Smiling, I dug into my pocket and took out my wallet. I had a few pictures of all my kids tucked in there and I plucked the one of my sons out.

Austin and Jayden had to be 14 or 15 in the shot because Jayden still had his black hair. I remembered this day. They just came home from practice and were sitting on the front porch. Rouge was laying behind them and had her head under Austin's arm, laying on his slightly dirty leg. Austin was looking at the camera because I called them, but he wasn't smiling. He wasn't frowning either. As expected, Jayden was making the goofiest face he could. I felt the woman's arm touch mine as she got closer to look at the photo.

 **"Oh, they're so handsome!"** The woman chirped and that just made me smile more. **"Twins?"**

 **"Yeah, that's Austin. He's the oldest by 15 minutes."** I pointed to my oldest son, then Jayden. **"That's Jay-Jay. Dear God, he didn't want to know what life was because he refused to be birthed. For identical twins, those boys couldn't be more different. Austin's always been a mature kid, pretty quiet too, observant. He likes reading and he knows how to play the drums, not much of a troublemaker. He did get suspended for a few days because some Senior was picking with his little brother though. He almost got an assault** ** _and_** **arson charge on the same day."**

 **"Oh, my."** The woman giggled. **"He sounds like a very protective boy."**

 **"He is. That's why he's a SEAL, lives to protect..."** I lowered the picture and looked down at the space between my feet. **"...I wasn't the best father to him. I didn't beat on him or any crazy shit like that, but...I didn't love him enough. I didn't spend enough time with him and he was because he was exactly like me...I saw myself in him and I didn't want him to be like me...I guess I pushed him away and when he noticed it, he pushed back..."**

 **"What's Jayden like?"** The woman softly asked and I frowned at the thought, not that I was upset to hear my son's name, but because I could go on for days about the kid. I couldn't do that with Austin.

 **"He was a good kid, really social. He was the silliest guy you'd ever meet, but he had a heart of pure gold. He loved being around his family, liked entertaining us. He should've been a musician because he's got a killer voice, just like his Mom."** Breaking the sad moment for a second, I smiled. **"Their Mother was in a band when she was a teenager. Jayden watched some of the videos and said he was gonna make one with his brother."**

 **"Are the boys on tour now, traveling across the country to meet all their adorning fans?"** The woman asked and I knew she was smiling, but mine was gone.

 **"No...um, Austin's overseas and he never tells me when he comes home, doesn't visit me. Aria, his fiancé, calls me when he's home and gets him to say something to me. Jayden, um...he's dead, passed when he was 17..."** I heard the woman's sharp gasp and she must've turned away from me because I heard the bench creak a little. I could heard her quietly muttering to herself and I wondered if she was saying a prayer for my son. That was sweet of her if she was.

 **"...is Jessica alright?"** The woman spoke up after a few more minutes of silence and I nodded. I almost asked her how she knew what my daughter's name was, but I remembered that I told her.

I gazed at the picture of my boys for a second before I put it back in my wallet and went looking for some of Jessica. There were a lot. I picked 2 from the ones I had. The first one was of my baby girl on her 2nd birthday and she was digging into her cake, already having icing all over herself. The next one was the most recent one I had and it was a school picture. She really looked like Talia in this shot. Her eyes were more of a sea-green color and her hair was darker, but it almost looked like it could be a very dark shade of blue.

 **"I lost her too."** I told the woman and let her take the picture, turning away to wipe the tears from my eyes. **"She's not in my custody anymore. I got to keep her until she was 3, then Tara, the woman taking care of her now, stepped in. I didn't wanna give my daughter up and she brought in the lawyers. They saw my track record and that was all she wrote. Those people told me I was unfit to be a father, but Tara granted me weekend privileges because she knew I was a good parent. It's for the best that Jessie be with Tara. Her Mother didn't want her to have the same life she did and I wouldn't know the first thing about how to raise a** ** _girl_** **. I wouldn't give her The Talk. She'd just wake up with a chastity belt mounted around her and that'd be the end of it."**

The woman started laughing and she excused herself. I think she put her hand over her mouth because her laughs got a bit muffled, but I didn't mind hearing them. She had a nice laugh, rich and sweet.

 **"Is Jessica anything like Natalia or her brothers?"** The woman asked with a small giggle.

 **"She's pretty...normal."** My smile came back. **"Austin's a bit of a firebug and Jayden really wanted to share** ** _his love_** **with all the girls at school. Like Father like Son. Jessie though, she's just your average teenager. She's doing pretty good in school. She's a B average, but she's pushing herself to get straight A's. She plays volleyball at her school, but she said she might transfer to the swimming team. She told me she wants to be a wildlife photographer when she grows up. She loves lions and she told me she wanted to move to Africa for a few months to get pictures of them."**

 **"And what about you?"** The woman asked and gave me the picture back. Her hand settled over mine in a caring way and her palm was soft on my knuckles. **"Are you alright?"**

 **"More or less. I've accepted it, I mean. It took a long time for me to get over her, my wife, and I know I messed up with Austin, but I know he's gonna be taken care of because he's got Aria. I just want him to be happy and if he needs me to be absent from his life for him to be happy, then so be it. It hurts, yeah, but it's what he wants. Then I've still got Jessica and I'm not gonna mess things up with her. She wants to move in with me when she's 18 and as much as I want her around, I can't let her. Tal wouldn't want that."**

 **"You are a very strong man."** The woman briefly pat my hand and gave it a squeeze. **"If I were in your shoes, I would've been crazier than a rabid dog. You know, the people who suffer the most and go through the hardest times get something truly wonderful in their lives. Maybe your son will come around and you can work on your relationship. I believe you're at the end of a very dark tunnel and a whole lot of sunshine's about to brighten your life."**

 **"Thank you."** I smiled, genuinely smirked, and finally decided to look at the woman.

Smiling back at me was a honey brunette and she had stunning hazel eyes. Her white blouse didn't have any buttons and the deep V neckline showed off her breasts, but it's not like you _couldn't_ notice them. She had to be sporting D-Cups and I couldn't help but wonder if they were natural or implants. I wasn't bluntly staring at her chest, but her huge mounds were in my field of vision and so were her blush pink painted lips. Now that I was totally focused on her face, I noticed the makeup she was wearing and it wasn't too much or clashed with her lightly tanned skin.

 **"I'm known to leave men speechless, but not under such innocent circumstances."** The woman bat her lashes at me and I swallowed a dry ball of nothing. She smiled at me, but turned around when she heard honking. **"Oh, there's my ride."**

She stood up and I did too, but I took the opportunity to take her in. Her long legs were on display and her black heels were doing her good. I got to see just how tight that skirt clung to her body too.

 **"I, um."** I cleared my throat and caught the woman's attention. **"It was nice talking to you."**

 **"I enjoyed your company as well..."** She raised her eyebrows a bit and it took me a second to realize she was asking what my name was.

 **"I'm Tig, that's what everyone calls me. My name's Alex."**

 **"Is that short for Alexander?"** I nodded and she smiled, holding her manicured hand out. I gently took it. **"I'm Venus. I had a delightful time talking with you, Alexander."** Venus turned around again and sucked her teeth at the honking car. Her ride must be getting impatient. **"Hold your horses! I'm coming, I'm coming!"**

Her hand slipped from mine and she started strutting off towards a white Chrysler 200 convertible. I saw a blonde in the driver's seat and she opened the door when Venus got to the side. Venus looked back at me again and her ringed hand came up to her shoulder, waving at me. I waved back and she smiled before sitting in the passenger seat and buckling herself in. The convertible went in the opposite direction of me and all I could see were the backs of 2 heads with hair flowing behind them.

I sat on the bench again and took out the picture of Talia I was looking at when I was thinking about her earlier. I gazed into those beautiful eyes and was glad that painful ache wasn't making its presence anymore. I remember when I couldn't look at a picture of her without crying, but I was at ease now. I still hurt and I would always carry a little pain with me, but I was okay with it.

 **"I think Venus was right, about the tunnel and me. I hope she was. What do you think, angel? I know you wouldn't want me to suffer again."**

I stared into those beautiful eyes that were captured in a moment of happiness and felt my heart start to ache, but it was a good feeling. I felt the warn sun's rays start to heat my back and sighed, smiling. That was Talia's answer.

Maybe things were going to start looking up for me.

* * *

 **The end!**

 **Wow, this story was so much more than I thought it would be and I didn't expect it to be this long! I'm proud of how I wrapped it up though. I hope you guys enjoyed it too.**

 **On a side note, I've been collaborating with one of my Reviewers and she's given me the confidence to create a prequel to this story! I didn't expect everyone to love Happy and Talia so much, so the prequel will get some major bonding time with them, the fluffy goodness of Juice and Talia's friendship, how she got in her high school band , possibly a little gory stuff for the club and who knows what else.**

 **That story definitely coming to the table and I've already made a Pinterest board for it XD  
I've got another SOA story in the works and it's going to give Half-Sack some much needed appreciation! I don't have a date for when anything will be published, but I promise, it's happening.**

 **As always, thank you for following, supporting, F** **avoriting** **and Reviewing this story. It really does mean a lot and I truly appreciate all the feedback.**

 **Arrivederci, my sweet vixens!**


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